Unlocking the Prison of Bitterness: A Biblical Path to Freedom

• Anger and the Heart [00:36:34 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that anger and subsequent sinful actions (murder, abuse, theft) originate from the condition of the heart, not external circumstances, citing Jesus' teaching in Matthew 5.
• Denial vs. Dwelling [00:39:01 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor describes the enemy's strategy to make believers swing between denying anger (leading to dishonesty/anxiety) and dwelling on it (leading to bitterness/revenge), urging a third path of dealing with it.
• Forgiveness as a Mandate [00:41:59 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor emphasizes that forgiveness is not optional ('I must') but a requirement for freedom, rooted in the precedent of God forgiving the believer first.
• Rejection of Retribution [00:43:42 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor addresses the cultural trope that 'they owe me' or that forgiveness is unfair, countering it with the theological truth that God did not give us 'fair' but gave us grace through Christ.
• The Nature of Forgiveness vs. Bitterness [00:43:11 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor contrasts God's grace toward the believer with the human tendency to withhold grace, arguing that bitterness is irrational and self-harming while forgiveness is liberating.
• Practical Application of Forgiveness [00:50:39 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor provides a step-by-step guide on how to forgive, including inviting God into the process, listing names (including oneself and God), and understanding that forgiveness is a willful decision rather than a feeling.
• Misconceptions About Forgiveness [00:53:41 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor clarifies what forgiveness is not: it is not forgetting, minimizing pain, or a feeling, but a deliberate act of obedience and surrender to God's authority.
• Emotional Processing of Forgiveness [00:55:28 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that forgiveness must touch the emotional core, requiring the acknowledgment of pain and hate to forgive from a clean heart, often involving tears.
• Methods for Unreachable Offenders [00:56:02 ▶️ 📄]
  > For those who are gone, unaware, or unreachable, the pastor suggests using an empty chair, writing unsent letters, or visiting tombstones to express honesty and release anger.
• Surrendering the Right to Vengeance [00:56:48 ▶️ 📄]
  > The core theological claim is that refusing to forgive keeps one chained to the past; believers must give up their right to get even and leave vengeance to God, citing Romans 12.
• Forgiveness as a Lifestyle and Discipline [00:59:00 ▶️ 📄]
  > Citing Jesus' teaching of 'seventy times seven,' the pastor defines forgiveness not as a one-time event but as a recurring spiritual discipline required for the rest of one's life.
• Boundaries vs. Forgiveness [00:59:59 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor clarifies that forgiving does not mean tolerating ongoing abuse; one can set healthy boundaries while still choosing to release resentment for their own sake.
• The Process of Making Amends [01:02:44 ▶️ 📄]
  > The second part of the process involves seeking forgiveness from those one has hurt, requiring a list of wrongs, honest self-reflection on motives and consequences, and a humble apology without expecting a specific reaction.
• Making Amends [01:07:13 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor instructs the congregation to take ownership of their actions, be specific in admitting wrongs, and avoid excuses or blame, emphasizing that this is about cleaning one's own side of the ledger regardless of the other person's reaction.
• Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation [01:10:06 ▶️ 📄]
  > A distinction is drawn between forgiveness, which is a unilateral act requiring only one person, and reconciliation, which requires two. The pastor notes that while in-person apologies are ideal, they are not always safe or profitable, in which case one should use symbolic acts like writing unsent letters.
• Personal Anecdote of Keith [01:08:02 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor shares a story about his friend Keith, who, during his sobriety journey, visited cemeteries to forgive and ask forgiveness from tombstones, and eventually confronted an old neighbor to apologize for stealing his bass guitar at age 18.
• Anger and Heart Condition [02:08:40 ▶️ 📄]
  > In the subsequent sermon segment, the pastor connects anger to the condition of the heart, citing Jesus' teaching that anger and abusive words are subject to judgment, and using the story of a hand transplant from a murderer to illustrate that the source of sin is the heart, not external factors.
• The Root of Sin (Heart Condition) [02:08:13 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that external actions (like murder) stem from internal heart conditions (anger), citing Jesus' teaching that anger itself is subject to judgment.
• The Dangers of Smoldering Anger [02:10:10 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor distinguishes between combustible and smoldering anger, explaining that unresolved anger leads to bitterness, spiritual blindness, and a 'self-imposed prison' where the devil gains a foothold.
• The Necessity of Forgiveness [02:13:48 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor emphasizes that forgiveness is a mandatory command ('I must') based on God's prior forgiveness of us, rejecting the idea that forgiveness is optional or merely about fairness.
• The Cost-Benefit Analysis of Bitterness [02:18:53 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor performs a 'cost-benefit analysis' on bitterness, concluding it has 'huge cost' (spiritual, physical, relational damage) and 'zero benefit,' labeling it 'stupid' and irrational.
• The Destructive Nature of Bitterness [02:19:51 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that bitterness destroys health, personality, and relationships, citing Psalm 73 and Job 21, and contrasting it with the health benefits of forgiveness.
• Practical Steps for Forgiveness [02:22:42 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor outlines a method involving prayer, journaling names of those who need forgiveness (including oneself and God), and acknowledging pain without minimizing it.
• Defining What Forgiveness Is Not [02:25:43 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor clarifies that forgiveness is not forgetting, minimizing pain, or a feeling, but a willful decision of obedience and surrender to God.
• Forgiveness as a Lifestyle [02:31:27 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor explains that forgiveness is a continuous discipline ('seven times seventy'), requiring boundaries and repeated release of anger, rather than a one-time event.
• Forgiveness as a Lifestyle [02:31:49 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor defines forgiveness not as a one-time event but as a spiritual discipline of repeatedly releasing anger and bitterness, emphasizing that it does not mean tolerating future abuse but setting healthy boundaries.
• Making Amends [02:35:06 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor introduces the second part of the process: making amends to those one has hurt, requiring a list of wrongs, an analysis of motives and consequences, and a humble, specific apology without expecting a reaction.
• Reconciliation vs. Forgiveness [02:42:37 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor clarifies that while forgiveness is a one-person act that leads to freedom, reconciliation requires two people and may not always be possible or advisable depending on the situation.
• Forgiveness and Freedom [02:43:59 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor invites the congregation to experience forgiveness from Jesus, receive a clean slate, and replace anger with a heart aligned with God.
• Prayer and Repentance [02:44:18 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor leads a corporate prayer asking God to reveal hidden issues in the heart and to free the congregation from hate and unresolved anger.
• Cooperation with God [02:45:19 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor emphasizes that while God provides help, the congregation must actively cooperate with Him during the week to walk free.

• Sermon Illustration [00:33:32 ▶️ 📄]
  > A humorous anecdote about a friend who tries to apply Jesus' phrases to daily life but fails contextually: saying 'love your neighbor' to a difficult neighbor, 'go the extra mile' to his wife, and 'get thee behind me, Satan' to a driver cutting him off in traffic.
• Sermon Illustration [00:35:33 ▶️ 📄]
  > The story of Matthew Scott, the first American to receive a hand transplant, whose donor was a convicted murderer who committed suicide. The pastor uses this to illustrate that the source of sin is the heart, not the physical hand.
• Sermon Illustration [00:45:00 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor references a Carrie Underwood concert where women sing a song about revenge (digging keys into a car) to illustrate the cultural deception that revenge brings freedom.
• Sermon Illustration [00:46:22 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor uses a 'cost-benefit analysis' analogy from the business world to explain that bitterness has a huge cost and zero benefits, while forgiveness has costs but life-changing benefits.
• Sermon Illustration [00:49:27 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor references the Big Book of AA (pages 83-84) to list the 'promises' or benefits of forgiveness, such as freedom, happiness, serenity, and loss of self-pity.
• Sermon Illustration [00:56:02 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor suggests using an empty chair or writing an unsent letter as a practical method to process forgiveness when the offender is unavailable, deceased, or unknown.
• Sermon Illustration [00:56:23 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor shares a personal anecdote about friends visiting tombstones in a cemetery to have heart-to-heart conversations with deceased loved ones or offenders as a way to process grief and forgiveness.
• Sermon Illustration [01:01:41 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor uses the analogy of the character Otis from 'The Andy Griffith Show,' who was locked in a jail cell but had the keys hanging outside, illustrating that bitterness is a self-imposed prison from which one can choose to walk out.
• Sermon Illustration [01:05:14 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor provides a hypothetical example of making amends to a coworker named Jill, detailing the specific steps of identifying the hurt (slander), the motive (insecurity/envy), and the consequence (Jill's resignation) to craft a sincere apology.
• Sermon Illustration [01:05:55 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor provides a second hypothetical example of apologizing to a wife for losing temper, slamming doors, and sleeping on the couch, emphasizing the need to acknowledge the deep emotional damage (shattered self-esteem, fear) caused.
• Sermon Illustration [01:08:02 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor tells the story of his friend Keith, who, after becoming sober, drove around his hometown outside Memphis, visiting cemeteries and his old house to forgive past offenders and ask for forgiveness for his own past behavior.
• Sermon Illustration [01:08:02 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor tells the story of his friend Keith, who, while working through recovery steps, visited cemeteries in his hometown to forgive and ask forgiveness from the dead, and later confronted a former neighbor to apologize for stealing his bass guitar at age 18.
• Sermon Illustration [02:07:26 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor recounts the story of Matthew Scott, the first American to receive a hand transplant, whose donor was a convicted murderer who committed suicide. The pastor uses this to illustrate that the source of murder is anger in the heart, not the hand itself.
• Sermon Illustration [02:07:39 ▶️ 📄]
  > The story of Matthew Scott, the first American to receive a hand transplant, whose donor was a convicted murderer who committed suicide. The pastor uses this to illustrate that the source of sin is not the physical body part but the anger in the heart.
• Sermon Illustration [02:17:12 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor references the Carrie Underwood song 'I Take the Wheel' to illustrate the cultural deception that revenge provides release or freedom, noting how women sing about destroying their ex-partner's vehicle as a form of catharsis.
• Sermon Illustration [02:21:35 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor references the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book (Chapter 6, pages 83-84) regarding the promises of forgiveness and making amends to support the spiritual benefits of letting go of bitterness.
• Sermon Illustration [02:21:29 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor references the Big Book of AA (Chapter 6) to list the benefits of forgiveness, such as freedom, joy, serenity, and loss of self-pity.
• Sermon Illustration [02:28:11 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor suggests using an empty chair or writing an unsent letter to process forgiveness when the offender is unavailable, deceased, or unknown.
• Sermon Illustration [02:30:32 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor shares a personal anecdote about growing up with a former alcohol abuser and compulsive gambler to illustrate living with the consequences of another's sin.
• Sermon Illustration [02:34:02 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor uses an analogy from 'The Andy Griffith Show' where the character Otis, the town drunk, is locked in a jail cell but has the keys hanging outside the door, symbolizing that individuals hold the keys to their own freedom from bitterness and can choose to walk out of the prison of resentment.
• Sermon Illustration [02:40:28 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor shares a personal story about his friend Keith, who, during his recovery from addiction, made amends by visiting old haunts, speaking to tombstones, and physically returning to a man whose bass guitar he had stolen 30 years prior, paying $2,000 in interest to replace it.

• Pastoral Charge [00:41:59 ▶️ 📄]
  > Forgive others who have offended them.
• Pastoral Charge [00:42:28 ▶️ 📄]
  > Take the step of forgiveness to achieve spiritual freedom.
• Pastoral Charge [00:51:23 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor invites the congregation to pray for the Holy Spirit to reveal specific individuals they need to forgive.
• Pastoral Charge [00:51:31 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor commands the congregation to physically write down the names of those who have hurt them.
• Pastoral Charge [00:54:41 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor commands the congregation to actively choose forgiveness regardless of their current emotional state.
• Pastoral Charge [00:55:44 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor commands the congregation to honestly confront and acknowledge their painful emotions and hatred before attempting to forgive.
• Pastoral Charge [01:02:23 ▶️ 📄]
  > Choose to forgive and walk out of bitterness immediately.
• Pastoral Charge [01:00:16 ▶️ 📄]
  > Compile a list of people to forgive and make a choice to forgive each one.
• Pastoral Charge [01:04:13 ▶️ 📄]
  > Make a list of those hurt and analyze the actions, motives, and consequences.
• Pastoral Charge [01:11:29 ▶️ 📄]
  > Surrender life to Jesus Christ and invite Him to forgive, love, lead, and change the heart.
• Pastoral Charge [01:12:51 ▶️ 📄]
  > Sit down and immediately begin the process of seeking forgiveness and releasing anger.
• Pastoral Charge [02:14:12 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor commands the congregation to actively choose forgiveness as a non-negotiable requirement for spiritual freedom and wellness.
• Pastoral Charge [02:12:09 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor urges the congregation to actively address their anger through specific actions like honest conversation, apology, counseling, or support groups, rather than ignoring or obsessing over it.
• Pastoral Charge [02:22:48 ▶️ 📄]
  > Pray for God's involvement, write down a prayer of admission, and list names of people who need forgiveness.
• Pastoral Charge [02:24:00 ▶️ 📄]
  > Include oneself on the forgiveness list to practice self-forgiveness.
• Pastoral Charge [02:24:49 ▶️ 📄]
  > Include God on the forgiveness list to address personal resentment toward Him.
• Pastoral Charge [02:26:49 ▶️ 📄]
  > Make the conscious choice to forgive immediately, regardless of emotional state.
• Pastoral Charge [02:27:36 ▶️ 📄]
  > Allow God to bring painful emotions to the surface and acknowledge the hurt to forgive from the heart.
• Pastoral Charge [02:28:11 ▶️ 📄]
  > Use an empty chair or write an unsent letter to process emotions and declare forgiveness when direct contact is not possible.
• Pastoral Charge [02:29:36 ▶️ 📄]
  > Surrender the right to revenge and leave judgment to God.
• Pastoral Charge [02:30:14 ▶️ 📄]
  > Initiate forgiveness without waiting for an apology from the offender.
• Pastoral Charge [02:31:05 ▶️ 📄]
  > Stop playing the victim and choose the freedom of forgiveness.
• Pastoral Charge [02:32:36 ▶️ 📄]
  > Systematically work through the list of names, dealing with pain for each person before releasing them to God.
• Pastoral Charge [02:43:06 ▶️ 📄]
  > The congregation is asked to block out time this week to actively offer forgiveness to others and seek forgiveness from those they have hurt.
• Pastoral Charge [02:43:59 ▶️ 📄]
  > The congregation is invited to surrender their lives to Jesus Christ, inviting Him to forgive them, give them a clean slate, and transform their hearts.
• Pastoral Charge [02:45:19 ▶️ 📄]
  > Cooperate with God and actively engage in the forgiveness process during the week.

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:00:00] Welcome, welcome, welcome to Lake Point Church Online. We're so glad that you're here joining us today. If we haven't met yet, my name is Carlos and I serve as pastor of Digital Discipleship.
[00:09:46] And if you're here, and maybe this is your first time with us, we're so glad you're here. You're not just tuning into a broadcast, you're joining a family.
[00:09:54] And if you found us through Live Free, man, we want to say welcome as well. Drop that in the chat, let us know. We would love to hear more about how you ended up here.
[00:10:02] We hear all these stories from people from all over the place, from different cities, states, and countries.
[00:10:07] So drop that in the chat.
[00:10:08] Say hi.
[00:10:09] And also, man, if you're here, we want you to stick around.
[00:10:12] Subscribe to our YouTube channel.
[00:10:13] If you haven't yet, you can make that a rhythm of checking out our sermons and our episodes every single week.
[00:10:19] Hey, for our Church Online regulars, welcome back.
[00:10:22] We see you, and we're so grateful for you.
[00:10:24] Let us know also where you're watching from in the chat as well.
[00:10:28] We'd love to know.
[00:10:29] Now, if you're in the DFW area, I want to put something on your radar.
[00:10:33] Saturdays are for church.
[00:10:34] And at some point, at some of our campuses, you have a choice to worship with us either Saturday or Sunday.
[00:10:40] And so if you've been thinking about visiting in person, this is a great place to start.
[00:10:44] Go to lakepoint.church slash locations and find the campus closest to you.
[00:10:50] Our host and prayer team are live in the chat right now as well.
[00:10:53] So don't be a stranger. Say hello.
[00:10:56] And Lake Point family, right now, we have an amazing service prepared for you.
[00:10:59] So in this moment, let's posture ourselves in worship and let's get ready to worship together.

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[00:11:05] Well, Lake Point family, it's beautiful

[00:16:03] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[00:16:03] because there's one name by which all men are saved, healed, set free, and delivered, and that name is Jesus.
[00:16:11] Isn't that a beautiful truth this morning?
[00:16:13] And this is the God that we get to serve and pour our love and affection on.
[00:16:18] So in this moment, let's just fix our eyes on Jesus as we continue in worship.

[00:16:53] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[00:16:53] There's just something about you.
[00:17:03] If you're quiet, Lord, there is no one in the world.

[00:17:12] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_12]
[00:17:12] The King with you.

[00:26:10] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[00:26:10] Before you take a seat, why don't you high-five the person next to you and say, he is worthy.
[00:26:14] He is so worthy of our praise.
[00:26:16] Come on.
[00:26:17] And as you take a seat, let's turn to the screens and celebrate with those declaring their faith in Jesus Christ through baptisms.

[00:26:26] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[00:26:26] Hey, good morning, Lake Point family.
[00:26:27] This is Alyssa.
[00:26:28] Alyssa, have you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life. It's your brothers and my honor to baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And this is Caesar. Caesar, have you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of
[00:26:52] your life? It's my honor to baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And this is Kendall. Kendall, have you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life? It's your dads
[00:27:10] and my honor to baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Well, hey,

[00:27:20] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:27:20] Hey, Lake Point family, what a powerful moment.
[00:27:22] Man, seeing people go public with their faith through baptism is a reminder that Jesus still changes lives and he has restored marriages, healing hearts, breaking addictions, and calling people back to himself.
[00:27:34] And moments like this are exactly why we keep saying Saturdays are for church.
[00:27:40] Hey, in a world that's constantly pulling families apart, filling every schedule, and distracting us from what matters most, gathering together around the presence of God just really matters.
[00:27:49] whether you're joining us on Saturday or Sunday or in person or online, don't underestimate what God can do in these spaces each and every single week.
[00:27:59] For some of you, maybe you're here and maybe your next step may simply be consistency, showing up, leaning in, worshiping with expectation, bringing your family with you, inviting somebody who needs help.
[00:28:09] And maybe if you're watching online from outside of the DFW, let me just encourage you as well.
[00:28:14] Don't just watch church, get planted in a Bible local church near you.
[00:28:19] Christianity was never meant to be lived out alone.
[00:28:22] You need community and accountability and people who can walk with you through every season of life.
[00:28:27] And so if you're here, and maybe you need help finding a church near you, we want to help you.
[00:28:32] Text the word MAP to 20411, and we would love to help.
[00:28:38] Also, if you recently gave your life to Jesus, we would love to invite you to take a next step as well.
[00:28:42] Just text the word LIFE to 20411.
[00:28:46] One, we have resources ready to help you take that next step in your discipleship journey.
[00:28:51] And before we continue, I just want to say also thank you for your generosity.
[00:28:56] Because of your faithfulness, stories like the one we just celebrated today keeps happening.
[00:29:02] Families are finding hope.
[00:29:03] People are encountering Jesus.
[00:29:04] And the gospel is reaching further and farther than ever through Live Free and Church Online.
[00:29:10] And so if you'd like to continue being a part of what God is doing through Lake Point, you can give anytime by texting the word give to 20411 or going to lakepoint.church slash give lake point family thank you again for your generosity and now let's see what's on lp

[00:29:29] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:29:29] news you don't have to wake up early your kids don't have to get their hair fixed again you get to go have brunch i don't even know what brunch is as a pastor i've never gotten to go to brunch
[00:29:38] but you can go to brunch on sunday mornings if you come on saturday night so would you do me that favor rock wall and would you make a move that helps open up a seat in this room for somebody
[00:29:48] who's far from Jesus that if you would do that would you take your phone out right now and would you text the word move to the number 20411 if you're just thinking about it would you text the
[00:29:58] word move to the number 20411 so that we can help get you prepared for what we're going to do coming up on July 11th we believe that that God is going to bring hundreds and hundreds of people here to
[00:30:08] hear the good news of who he is now there is a lot coming up in the life for church check out the

[00:30:12] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_00]
[00:30:12] screens for LP News. Hey, Lake Point, it's almost time for At the Movies, starting July 11th and 12th.
[00:30:22] Just like Jesus used parables, this four-week sermon series uses clips from blockbuster movies to bring biblical truths to life. Plus, every campus will have photo opportunities, free popcorn and drinks, and kids programming for ages birth through fifth grade. At the Movies is
[00:30:38] in-person only, so make room in your schedule and move those vacation dates to be here.
[00:30:43] Head over to lakepoint.church slash movies for times and details.
[00:30:48] Parents, Summer Blast starts this Tuesday, June 16th through 18th, for kids who have completed kindergarten through fourth grade.
[00:30:55] This is the week your child will be talking about all summer, and it's not too late to register.
[00:31:00] Just text BLAST to 20411 for all the details.
[00:31:05] And join us next weekend for Father's Day on June 20th and 21st as we take time to celebrate all the dads of Lake Point.
[00:31:12] Start making plans to bring your dad to church for a powerful message.
[00:31:16] And before we go, parents of high schoolers, don't forget, June 14th is the last day to register your student for High School United Camp on June 25th through 29th.
[00:31:26] Text CAMP to 20411 to register.
[00:31:30] Now, let's dive back into our series, En Fuego.

[00:31:33] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_05]
[00:31:33] All right, what's up, everybody?
[00:32:03] Great to see you all.
[00:32:05] Welcome to Lake Point.
[00:32:06] Glad you're here.
[00:32:07] man, if it's your first time here, I'm super excited that you guys would show up today and brave the elements and come. And if you're at one of our campuses, or maybe you're joining us online
[00:32:17] this weekend, man, super grateful for you all too, and know that God is going to speak to your heart today. Hi, my name is Bro, by the way, and I get to be on the teaching team here. And what a great
[00:32:26] honors of my life to get to do this. And we're in this little series, a little four-part series all about fire, and we're calling it En Fuego. And next weekend, we're going to talk about,
[00:32:38] we're going to really unpack what I think is a very cool fire story from the pages of the Bible.
[00:32:43] And we're going to talk about you and me being consumed by God and by life and passion.
[00:32:50] Week number four, we're going to talk about how sometimes we go through the fire and we get refined by that fire. But if you were with us last week, you know that these first two
[00:32:59] weeks. We're talking all about a fire called anger. So let me just ask you as we get started here today, how'd you do this past week? Did you do better? Were you able to reflect before you
[00:33:13] automatically reacted? Did you pause and think, hang on a second, what's really going on inside of me? Did you sense the Holy Spirit saying to you, come on, gentle answer turns away wrath.
[00:33:26] A gentle answer turns away.
[00:33:28] Come on, calm down right now.
[00:33:30] Hold your tongue.
[00:33:30] Hold your mouth.
[00:33:32] I got a friend who started saying actual phrases that Jesus said.
[00:33:39] For instance, he encountered a difficult neighbor, and he said to himself, love your neighbor as yourself.
[00:33:48] Then his wife asked him to do something.
[00:33:50] He was really into a project.
[00:33:51] She asked him to do something unrelated to his project.
[00:33:53] Instead of grumbling, he said to himself, if someone asks you to go one mile, go with them too. Then he was on the interstate and there was a huge flashing yellow arrow telling everybody to
[00:34:04] merge over and everybody was slowing down and getting over in the right lane. He looks in his side view mirror and sees this guy who is going to pass everybody and break line. He slides over,
[00:34:16] blocks the guy and says, get thee behind me, Satan. So he'd make a progress. It's slow, Nobody's making progress.
[00:34:26] Hey, the fact is we all deal with anger.
[00:34:29] I mean, some of y'all told me last weekend, man, I felt like God was talking directly to me.
[00:34:33] Or you said, man, I really needed to hear that.
[00:34:36] Well, you need to know this.
[00:34:38] God made me listen to it four times.
[00:34:40] I need to hear that.
[00:34:42] And anybody like me last week, hear those words from our key verses from James chapter one, where it said, understand this, my dear brothers and sisters, we all must be quick to listen, slow to speak,
[00:34:53] and slow to get angry, for human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
[00:34:59] Now, when you and I come to God, we come as we are. And God meets us right in the middle of our mess. I mean, He loves us as is. You need to know that. But you also need to know He loves us way
[00:35:13] too much to leave us there. And God wants to turn you and me into his best version of us.
[00:35:18] And when unhealthy anger controls our lives, we just never will be. So we're talking about it for a couple of weeks here. On January the 25th, 1999, a guy named Matthew Scott was the very first
[00:35:33] American to undergo a hand transplant. And it happened at Jewish Hospital in Louisville, Kentucky. And even though the hand donor was supposed to be anonymous, even to Scott, It was revealed that the hand came from Glenn William Johnson, who was a convicted murderer
[00:35:49] who had taken his own life in prison just a few days before the operation.
[00:35:53] So Matthew Scott now has attached to his wrist the hand of a murderer.
[00:35:59] But you know what?
[00:36:01] That hand isn't going to make him behave any differently because the source of murder isn't in the hand.
[00:36:07] It's the anger raging in the heart.
[00:36:11] We saw these words of Jesus last weekend when he said, you have heard that our ancestors were told, you must not murder.
[00:36:18] If you commit murder, you're subject to judgment.
[00:36:20] But I say, even if you are angry with someone, you're subject to judgment.
[00:36:25] If you call someone an idiot, you're in danger of being brought before the court.
[00:36:29] And if you curse someone, you are in danger of the fires of hell.
[00:36:34] So here Jesus telling us, it's all about what lies beneath.
[00:36:38] It's all about the condition of our heart.
[00:36:41] It's not only out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.
[00:36:44] It's also out of the overflow of the heart, the hands murder.
[00:36:47] Out of the overflow of the heart, the hands abuse.
[00:36:50] Out of the overflow of the heart, the hands steal.
[00:36:52] Out of the overflow of the heart, the hands take another person's spouse.
[00:36:56] It all comes from the heart.
[00:37:00] It's why we said last weekend, you got to go to God and say that prayer, search me, oh God, and know my heart.
[00:37:07] Is there anything unhealthy lurking in here? Is there anything offensive that needs to go? Is there some unresolved anger in there that's just doing a number on my spiritual, on my emotional, on my relational, on my physical health? What is it that lies beneath? Well, today Jesus dies even
[00:37:26] deeper. Check out what he goes on to say in Matthew 5. So if you were presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the temple, and you suddenly remember that someone has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar go and be reconciled to that person then come and offer
[00:37:44] your sacrifice to God when you're on the way to court with your adversary settle your differences quickly otherwise your accuser may hand you over to the judge who will hand you over to an officer
[00:37:56] and you will be thrown into prison and if that happens you surely won't be free again until you have paid the last penny. So there is a combustible kind of anger that we talked about last week. And there's also a
[00:38:12] smoldering kind. And according to Jesus, if you and I don't deal with that, it will lock us up in a self-imposed prison of bitterness. Let me show you again another key verse from last weekend, Ephesians 4 verse 26 to 27. And don't sin by
[00:38:31] letting anger gain control over you. Don't let the sun go down while you're still angry for anger gives a mighty foothold to the devil. This is echoing these words of Jesus. When he said, if you don't deal with this and deal with it quickly, you're allowing Satan to set up like
[00:38:48] base camp in your soul. And before you know it, this unresolved smoldering kind of anger now is morphed into a deep, deep bitterness that has you all locked up. You see our enemy has a strategy
[00:39:01] with all this. He wants you and me to either deny the anger or to dwell on the anger. And what he really loves to do is get us swinging back and forth like a pendulum. Deny, dwell, deny, dwell,
[00:39:16] deny, dwell. If you deny it, you're going to be filled with all kinds of dishonesty and insecurity and anxiety and fear and envy and rage and codependency, depression, et cetera, et cetera.
[00:39:26] If you dwell on it, if you let it smolder inside of you, you're always fostering hate and resentment, always planning a payback, seeking revenge, wanting the worst to happen to the other person, then you become like this volcano full of hidden, smoldering, molten lava, ready to erupt at any
[00:39:45] moment. That's his strategy. He wants to get us swinging back and forth. Deny, dwell, deny, dwell, deny, dwell. And as we do that, it slowly kills us and those around us. It's why Jesus wants to
[00:40:01] take you and me to what lies beneath and says, don't deny it. Don't dwell on it. Let's deal with it. Let's deal with it. And that may mean having some honest conversations. It may mean having
[00:40:15] some long overdue apologies that need to happen. It may mean that you just blow off steam with God like David does in the book of Psalms.
[00:40:23] It may mean humbling yourself and inviting some accountability in your life.
[00:40:27] It may mean unpacking some of this stuff with a counselor or joining an anger support group or working the recovery steps through regen.
[00:40:34] But you and I have to stop denying and dwelling and we got to deal with it.
[00:40:40] And like we said last weekend, the really good news is the Holy Spirit of God will help you do this.
[00:40:46] He has the power to transform any angry heart.
[00:40:51] plus he really wants to and if we will cooperate with the transformation he wants to do in us if we will embrace the freedom that comes through forgiveness he will replace that anger in our
[00:41:04] hearts with stuff like love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and gentleness and faithfulness and self-control and he wants to do it because unresolved anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. We will never become God's best version of us if we just
[00:41:21] let it smolder. So we got a lot of ground to cover today, and we're going to go deep today. I'm just telling you. And there's a ton of scriptures you're going to see today. So like we said last week,
[00:41:31] you might want to take a screenshot with your phone or jot them down as fast as you can. But here's a key verse for those of us who might have a smoldering anger inside of us. And not only is
[00:41:40] is a key verse. This is literally a key that unlocks the prison of bitterness. Colossians chapter three, verse 13 says, you must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Let me
[00:41:59] read that again. You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. You catch the language there?
[00:42:12] I must. Not I might, not I should, not I ought to. I must forgive others. Freedom and wellness comes with no other option. If you and I want to walk free, we must take this step.
[00:42:28] Now, I want to talk about how we do this, but before we get to how, let's ask why.
[00:42:35] Why must I forgive those who have hurt me?
[00:42:38] Well, the very first thing that comes to my mind comes from that scripture because God has forgiven me.
[00:42:42] Remember, the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive others.
[00:42:45] If I've invited God into my life, if I have turned my life and will over to the care and control of Jesus Christ, if I'm experiencing his incredible grace and forgiveness for my truckload of sin,
[00:42:57] then I must now extend the same kind of grace and forgiveness to other people.
[00:43:03] Romans chapter 2 verse 4 says, Don't you realize how kind, how tolerant, how patient God has been with you?
[00:43:11] Or don't you care?
[00:43:13] Can't you see how kind he has been in giving you time to turn from your sin?
[00:43:19] Gang, if God has given me his grace, when I deserved his anger and his wrath and his justice, then who am I to withhold grace from those who have hurt me?
[00:43:29] When I'm reminded of how much I've been forgiven, and it makes it much easier for me to forgive other people because I see that I will never have to forgive somebody else any more than what God has already forgiven me.
[00:43:42] Now, I know some of y'all might be thinking, I hear you, bro, but man, they owe me.
[00:43:47] My parents hurt me bad.
[00:43:48] They owe me.
[00:43:49] Those kids at school, they owe me.
[00:43:51] My brother owes me.
[00:43:52] That old boyfriend owes me.
[00:43:54] My spouse owes me.
[00:43:56] My in-laws owe me.
[00:43:57] That boss owes me.
[00:43:59] if I let them off the hook, it just would not be fair. They will pay. We saw this take out the garbage verse last week, again from Ephesians 4, where Paul said, get rid of all bitterness,
[00:44:13] rage, angers, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of malicious behavior. He said, take that garbage to the curb. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
[00:44:28] Here's the deal.
[00:44:29] You and I owed God.
[00:44:32] And aren't you glad he didn't give us fair?
[00:44:36] Instead, he gave us his son and he assumed the guilt and he paid the debt that our sins had racked up.
[00:44:42] And that's just not fair.
[00:44:45] But still our human nature rears his ugly head and we cry out for justice, revenge, retribution.
[00:44:52] I mean, let's be honest.
[00:44:53] We get an adrenaline rush, don't we?
[00:44:54] watching those movies where the really evil guy gets paid back. I mean, you go to a Carrie Underwood concert. You know what song every woman's belting out. It ain't Jesus take the wheel. I'm telling you that. It's I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up
[00:45:10] four-wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats. I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats. And every woman's got their cell phone out, lights on. They're singing everywhere. Yeah. We get easily deceived
[00:45:28] into thinking that true release, real freedom, it lies in sweet revenge. Man, it's such a lie.
[00:45:36] Which is the second reason I must forgive because bitterness is stupid. Bitterness is stupid.
[00:45:44] Job 5.2 says this resentment kills a fool and envy slays the simple. Bitterness is just plain stupid, and it causes you to do stupid things. It's irrational. It's unhealthy. It's unproductive.
[00:45:56] Did I mention stupid? Job 18.4 says you're only hurting yourself with your anger. You're stewing and spewing all upset about something, somebody who hurt you maybe 10, 20, 30 years ago. They may have even forgotten or even passed away now, but in your smoldering anger, you're allowing them to
[00:46:15] continue to hurt you. Listen, resentment can't change the past. It can't change the problem.
[00:46:22] It can't change the pain. It can't change the other person. It only hurts you. Some of y'all in the business world, you're familiar with doing, you know, what you call a cost-benefit analysis where you like weigh the effort and the man hours and the cost of materials compared to your return
[00:46:41] on investment. Well, a while back, I searched through the scriptures, and I did a little cost benefit analysis on bitterness. The results are in. Huge cost. Zero benefits. Here's what I found.
[00:46:57] Bitterness blinds us spiritually. According to 1 John chapter 2, if we continue to hold grudges and hate other people, we spend our whole lives stumbling around in the dark. Bitterness also messes with our prayers. According to Mark chapter 11 and 1 Peter chapter 3, our lack of grace-filled
[00:47:15] communication with other people affects the way we converse with God. Bitterness also steals our freedom. We read that when Jesus said those words in Matthew chapter 5, and over in Matthew chapter 18, he tells us that bitterness can become our own prison. When our hearts are filled with hatred
[00:47:32] and revenge and smoldering anger, when we say, man, they ought to lock up that guy and throw away the key. You know who really gets locked up? And sometimes it can be a life sentence. Bitterness
[00:47:45] also can change our personalities. David over in Psalm 73 talks about how his bitterness brought out all these animalistic instincts. He says, I became like an ignorant brute beast. And it's very well documented that bitterness, it just destroys our health. I mean, it's been my experience
[00:48:06] and all kinds of research backs this up, that a lot of people are sick or stay sick because of unresolved anger and bitterness in their lives. You see, it's not so much what you eat, but what
[00:48:20] eats you. That'll kill you. And I've watched way too many people who refuse to let go of the relational scars and wounds. They won't give up their right to get even. They cannot let go of
[00:48:33] the past. They cannot let go of the pain and bitterness literally eats them alive. Job chapter 21 says, some may stay healthy until the day they die. They die happy and at ease. Others have no happiness at all. They live and die with bitter hearts. You want that inscribed on your
[00:48:55] tombstone? He lived, she lived and died with a bitter heart. I'm just telling you, unforgiveness this is a really bad option. There's a huge cost to it with zero benefit, which makes it a stupid choice. On the other hand, forgiveness, even though it will cost you, it'll cost you some
[00:49:14] humility. It'll cost you some courage. It has all kinds of benefits attached. It is such a healthy and free way to live your life. And man, this life is short. Don't you want to live it free?
[00:49:27] Some of you might be familiar with the big book of AA, which drew its principles from scripture in chapter six, specifically pages 83 and 84, it has what they call the promises. And it's all
[00:49:37] around this forgiveness, making amends step. These are the benefits of forgiveness. There's new freedom and there's happiness. There's liberation and joy. No more regrets. You're not hiding from the past anymore. You got serenity. You got peace. It's a peace that the Bible says you can't even
[00:49:54] explain. That there's a loss of self-pity, uselessness and victimization. They start to disappear. And you begin to focus on other people. The fact that this feels weird being selfish anymore. You have a changed attitude. There's a fundamental shift in your outlook on life. There's
[00:50:09] freedom from fear. There's a newfound confidence in you. There's this intuitive guidance knowing how to handle difficult situations. Now, because there is divine help, you realize that God is inside of you going to work, doing for you what you could never do for yourself. While there is
[00:50:25] a tremendous cost and zero benefits attached to bitterness. The benefits of forgiveness, man, they are so life-changing. So there's why we must forgive. So how? How do you practically do this?
[00:50:39] How do you and I extend forgiveness to those who have hurt us? Well, I think just like in everything, I'm talking everything, you start by inviting God into the process. You pray that search me, oh God, kind of prayer. And maybe you grab a pen and a piece of paper or a journal,
[00:50:56] or you grab a laptop and you just write down a prayer. And it might go like something like this in your own words, but say, God, I just want to thank you for your kindness and your patience
[00:51:06] and your grace toward me. And I admit that I haven't shown the same kind of grace toward those who have hurt me. Instead, I have let my anger smolder and I've held on to my bitterness and
[00:51:17] my thirst for revenge for like way too long. So I'm just asking for your help right now.
[00:51:23] Please bring to mind all the people that I need to forgive so that I can do this and walk free.
[00:51:31] Then you just start to list all the names of people who come to your mind.
[00:51:35] It's been my experience. If a name comes to your mind, just write it down. They may or may not need forgiveness from you. They may be a totally innocent party, but their name may lead you to a
[00:51:45] story that may take you deeper into discovering the real who who needs forgiveness from you and also a lot of times we hang on to things and we punish ourselves for the wrong choices we made
[00:51:58] in life so as you're listing names make sure you write down at the bottom of your list myself because like unresolved bitterness unresolved guilt and shame can also eat you alive. And forgiving yourself is embracing the truth that God through Jesus Christ has already
[00:52:18] forgiven you. And if God forgives you, you can forgive yourself. I mean, Jesus said one time, those who have been forgiven much, man, they love much. And people who find it hard to forgive usually don't feel very forgiven themselves. But those who know that they've been touched by the
[00:52:34] grace of God, they find it much easier to be gracious toward other people. I also think as you do this is you're making your list. You write down at the bottom of your list, all these names,
[00:52:45] write down God. Now, obviously God doesn't need forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong. But sometimes we harbor some anger, some disappointment, some disillusionment, maybe some resentment, bitterness against him. Maybe he didn't do what we wanted him to do, or maybe he
[00:53:07] didn't do it in the way we thought he should have. Or we said, if you cared about me, this never would have happened. And those feelings of resentment can throw up a wall. So we just got
[00:53:17] to let that go and say, as we start this process, Father, I don't understand everything in life that's happened to me. And I know we live in a broken world. And I also know that I am not exempt
[00:53:26] from the fallout of it. So I'm just going to trust your heart. I'm going to trust your wisdom. I'm going to trust your better view from above. And I'm going to trust your unfailing love for me.
[00:53:36] Now, as you prepare to do this, let me tell you what forgiveness is not.
[00:53:41] Forgiveness, first of all, is not forgetting.
[00:53:44] Some flippantly say, ah, forgive and forget, man.
[00:53:47] You can't forget.
[00:53:49] I mean, hurts leave scars, and sometimes they even leave constant daily reminders because of the situation their actions have placed you in.
[00:53:57] So it's not just as simple as, ah, forgive and forget.
[00:54:00] And forgiveness is not saying, no big deal.
[00:54:03] It was a big deal.
[00:54:05] It hurt.
[00:54:05] forgiveness doesn't pretend that the pain isn't real. So you don't excuse it. You don't minimize it. You don't rationalize it. Forgiveness also is not a feeling. And this is huge. Forgiveness is a choice. It's a decision of your will. You don't wait till you feel like forgiving. It's not based
[00:54:23] on feelings. It's a decision to surrender to the authority and leadership of God. He asked you and me to do this. So to do this is a step of obedience. And since God requires us to forgive,
[00:54:35] it's something that we can do. He's not going to ask you to do something he won't help you do.
[00:54:41] So you don't wait until you feel like forgiving, because I'm telling you, you're never going to get there. You make the hard choice, even when you don't feel like it. Because once you choose to forgive, God will start the process of healing your damaged emotions. And as you do this, as you
[00:54:58] forgive, make sure you forgive from the heart because that's where that stuff is. And you allow God to bring to the surface all the painful memories and acknowledge how you honestly feel toward those who have hurt you. And I know being a guy, that's hard for some of us guys to do.
[00:55:13] We don't like to think about feelings and stuff. But listen to me, guys, if we don't humble ourselves and do this, we just stay stuck. If forgiveness doesn't touch the emotional core of your soul, it will be incomplete. Too often we're afraid of the pain, so we just bury those
[00:55:28] emotions deep down inside of us. In this process, let God just bring them out. That's why there's usually tears involved in this process. You acknowledge the very real hurt. You acknowledge the pain, even the hate that's living there, so that you can forgive from a clean heart.
[00:55:44] Now, when you start this process, just know this. It's not always possible, profitable, or advisable to go back to somebody who's hurt you. Some people have changed. Some have moved away. Some have even passed away. Some don't even know that they hurt you. So for you to show up 30 years later and say,
[00:56:02] you did this to me, we probably do a lot more damage than good. In those cases, things I've done, you use an empty chair and you act like that person sitting in that empty chair and you just
[00:56:14] talk honestly to them. Or you write a letter, a letter that you never send. And I've done both these things. I've had friends who have visited tombstones and had a heart to heart right there
[00:56:23] in the cemetery. The point is to get honest. It's okay to unload on that chair. It's okay to unload in that letter that you never sent. And then you end up by saying, but starting today, I forgive
[00:56:36] you. You see, forgiveness is God's way of ending that perpetual cycle of abuse. Again, you might say, but bro, come on. You don't know how much they hurt me. And you're right. I don't. But until
[00:56:48] you let go of that anger, that person is allowed to keep hurting you. We can't hit rewind and undo the past, but we can walk free from it. You really can stop the pain. And the only way to do it
[00:57:00] is to forgive from the heart. You do this for your sake. You see, forgiveness has given up your right to get even. You release that person to God and you let God go to work on that person. You let
[00:57:11] him or her off of your hook because as long as you refuse to forgive somebody, you're still hooked to that person. You're still chained to your past. You're bound up in your bitterness. So you give up
[00:57:21] your right to get even and you just let God deal with that person. Romans 12 tells us this, never pay back evil for evil to anybody. Do things in such a way that everyone can see that you are
[00:57:32] honorable. Do your part, live in peace with everyone as much as possible. Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it's written, I'll take vengeance, I'll repay those who deserve it, says the Lord. So you give up your perceived right to get even and you just
[00:57:53] let God deal with them. And listen, don't ask for, don't wait for that person to ask you for your forgiveness. There's a little groveling pride thing going on there. You make the decisions first. I
[00:58:05] mean, Jesus modeled that on the cross, didn't he? When he said, father, forgive them because they don't know what they're doing. Also, growing up with a former alcohol abuser, compulsive gambler, sometimes out of control in lots of different ways, I learned that forgiveness is also agreeing
[00:58:24] to live with the consequences of another person's sin. There's a harsh reality of life.
[00:58:31] Imperfect people make mistakes, and imperfect people hurt imperfect people, and the consequences always have this ripple effect. So here's the deal. We're going to have to live with the consequences anyway, whether we like it or not. So the only choice you and I have is whether we
[00:58:47] will live in the bondage of unresolved anger and bitterness or in the freedom of forgiveness. It's our choice to walk out of a life of victimization. I've also learned in this forgiveness deal that I
[00:59:00] got to forgive often. I got to forgive often. I mean, one time, one of Jesus' followers asked him, okay, so I need to know this. How many times I got to forgive that person? Like, are we talking
[00:59:11] seven? And Jesus smiled and said, I'm talking 70 times seven. And Jesus chooses a never-ending number saying to us, you're going to need to do this for the rest of your life. Because memories come back and you run into people from time to time, and you might have to deal with an ex-spouse.
[00:59:28] And when they pull in the driveway, it just brings back all those old feelings. It might be hard to to let your kids get in the car with them. That's why forgiveness is a lifestyle. It's a spiritual
[00:59:38] discipline of releasing that anger again and again and again, and releasing the other person to God.
[00:59:44] I know I've got to forgive often. I also know that forgiveness is choosing not to hold somebody's sin against them anymore. Now, let me just throw in a huge qualifier here. It doesn't mean that
[00:59:59] you continue to put up with future sin of other people. You don't allow yourself to continually be abused by others. You set healthy boundaries, and a Christian counselor could help you do that, while at the same time, you start learning how to exercise grace and forgiveness for your own sake.
[01:00:16] So you sit down, you compile your list, and as you get to that first person, you make the choice to forgive him or her. For every painful memory that comes to your mind, you focus on that person
[01:00:29] until you know that you have dealt with all the remembered pain and you release them to God and start working your way down the list. And again, as you begin forgiving people, God may bring to mind some pretty painful memories. Let him do it, even if it hurts,
[01:00:45] because he really wants you to be free. And forgiving those people is the only way to walk free. Now, don't try to, you know, excuse their behavior. Don't transfer their sin onto yourself.
[01:00:57] well, it really was kind of all my fault. If I'd just been a better, don't do that.
[01:01:02] And don't say, God, help me forgive them. He's already helping you in this process. And don't say, God, I want to forgive. You say, God, I choose. I choose to forgive so-and-so for what they have done or failed to do, which made me feel the, I choose not to hold onto this resentment
[01:01:22] anymore. Thank you for forgiving me and setting me free from the bondage of my bitterness.
[01:01:27] I give up my right to get even, and I ask you to heal my damaged emotions.
[01:01:33] Now, I know I'm totally dating myself, but growing up, I used to love the old Andy Griffith show.
[01:01:41] It's an old show in black and white.
[01:01:42] You can find it on TV land, cable channel.
[01:01:45] My grandkids loved this show in black and white.
[01:01:48] It was set in a little town called Mayberry, and there was Sheriff Andy Taylor, and then had Barney Fife, the deputy.
[01:01:53] There was Floyd, the barber, and Goober, the mechanic, and Aunt Bea, and Opie, played by young Ron Howard. And there was this reoccurring character named Otis. He was known as the town drunk. Now that's not real PC, but this show was in the sixties and Otis would stumble into the
[01:02:10] jail. He'd walk into a cell and they would lock the door behind him and then hang the keys right up outside the door so that he could reach through the bars anytime, unlock himself and leave whenever
[01:02:23] wanted to, and the keys are hanging right outside your cell. Just refuse to be locked up in bitterness anymore. Do this. Choose to forgive. Walk out of the prison of resentment and anger and be free, like today. Now, if you want that kind of freedom to be a reality for you,
[01:02:44] there's also a second part to this process. You've got to make amends to those that you have hurt in some way. Again, go back to Romans 12, where it says, love must be sincere, honor
[01:02:54] one another above yourselves. Bless those who persecute you. Bless and do not curse. Live in harmony with one another. If it is possible, as far as it depends upon you, live at peace with everyone. As far as it depends upon you, you try to make things right. Colossians 3.15, kind of a
[01:03:11] cool little verse that says, let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts. And the word used here for rule literally means umpire or referee. So as you start this process of seeking forgiveness, you let the peace of Christ be the referee. You let Jesus go to the replay monitor with you and
[01:03:30] review things with you, so as you seek forgiveness, you can go humbly with a heart that is ruled not by excuses, not by justification, not by defensiveness, not by self-preservation, but a heart that's ruled by the peace of God. So how do you do this part? How do you now seek
[01:03:49] forgiveness and make amends with people? First of all, make sure you've already done the first part of this step, that you have forgiven other people for what they may have done to you.
[01:03:58] And once you've extended grace, you can seek it. So again, I think you make a list and you write down, who did I hurt? What did I do? Why did I do it? And what happened as a result? Can't think
[01:04:13] of anybody? Thought you might say that. Let me give you some helpful memory jostlers to get you started. Is there anyone I owe a debt to that I haven't repaid? Is there anybody like I've broken
[01:04:24] going to promise to? Is there anybody I've been guilty of over-controlling? Anybody I've been harsh with, like my wife or my husband, my sister, my child, my parent, my employee, a friend?
[01:04:33] Anybody I've been hypercritical of? Anybody I've been verbally abusive toward or physically abusive toward or emotionally abusive toward? Anybody I've been unfaithful to? Is there anybody I've taken for granted? Anybody I've lied to? Anybody I've stolen? Is this enough to get you started
[01:04:47] or do I need to keep going? Jesus asked, who did I hurt? What did I do? What happened as a result?
[01:04:54] of what I did. That helps for your apology to be heartfelt and sincere because you have humbly and honestly, you have thought through your motives and the pain that it might've caused them.
[01:05:06] Let me give you an example. Maybe you write down, who did I hurt? I hurt my coworker, Jill.
[01:05:14] What did I do? I hurt Jill with some untrue slander at work. Why did I do that? Because of my own insecurity and envy of Jill's talent and success. What were the consequences of that? It
[01:05:30] caused other people to question her character and made the climate so uncomfortable that Jill eventually resigned. So now when I go to make amends to Jill, I not only remember what I did, I not only know why I acted that way, but now I can feel Jill's pain and apologize with humility
[01:05:48] and deep sincerity. One more. Maybe you write down, who did I hurt? My wife. What did I do?
[01:05:55] Blew up again, called her a really bad name, slammed the door, left for a while, slept on the couch. Why did I do that? Cause my temper's out of control. Got a bunch of unresolved anger, guilt,
[01:06:07] and bitterness in my life, and it just leaks out. What were the consequences? Her self-esteem was shattered. Her anxiety levels raised to the point of fear. It created some trust issues. And now there's like a wall between us. So now when I go to her, I can acknowledge my own, I can acknowledge
[01:06:27] and own my part in all this. And I can say, I am deeply, deeply sorry. Not just because I don't like sleeping on the couch, not just because I kind of want the marriage to work better,
[01:06:36] but because I can now feel how deeply I have hurt her. Listen to me. There are people in your life that need to hear you say, I am so, so sorry. Not because you got caught, not because it's
[01:06:52] making things uncomfortable for you, but because you hurt them. So you think through exactly how you will ask those that you have hurt to forgive you. You pray, God, if somebody were coming to me,
[01:07:04] how would I like to be approached? And you let those famous words of Jesus kind of guide your game plan where he said, do to others as you would have them do to you. And you find the right timing
[01:07:13] and you find the right place to approach them and you just take ownership and you label your actions as wrong and you be specific and you admit what you did.
[01:07:24] You don't make excuses.
[01:07:26] You don't blame anybody else.
[01:07:27] And this is super important.
[01:07:30] Don't expect any kind of reaction.
[01:07:33] Don't expect them to forgive you.
[01:07:36] That doesn't matter.
[01:07:37] You're just cleaning your side of the ledger.
[01:07:40] You can't fail if you make amends with a humble, loving, genuine, repentant attitude.
[01:07:45] As far as it depends upon you, live at peace with everyone.
[01:07:50] And this part does depend upon you.
[01:07:53] My buddy Keith that I've talked about before, he was working through steps and he's over, I think he's 12 years sober now and he's just a great dude.
[01:08:02] But when he was doing the making amends and the forgiveness part, he went back to where he grew up and he had a crazy, crazy childhood and stuff.
[01:08:12] and he went back to his hometown just outside of Memphis, Tennessee and he did that where he went to cemeteries and he just talked to tombstones and forgave people and said would you forgive me
[01:08:24] because I wasn't a very good guy.
[01:08:27] He drove by his old house he grew up in and just same thing forgave people and then also asked for forgiveness for things he had done.
[01:08:36] He just drove around town doing that and then he went to a house and he knocked on the door and a guy opened the door this older guy opens the door and Keith said hey uh you don't know me
[01:08:47] my name is Keith I used to live down the street from you uh when I was a kid and when I was 18 years old I'm the guy that broke into your house and stole your bass guitar and I sold that guitar
[01:08:59] to get drug money and I just wanted to stop by and tell you how sorry I am for doing that and man it's a I'm 50 now so I was doing the math and I think the interest on that would be about
[01:09:10] is $2,000 okay? And they got 2,000 bucks. That's what it means. Just go back and ask for forgiveness.
[01:09:21] Say, I was wrong. And I think you ought to go back and ask forgiveness in person if that's possible. Again, it may not be possible and it may not be profitable to either party. I mean,
[01:09:32] in some situations, you don't want to go back because it would just reopen like a whole can of worms and make the situation worse. Like you don't want to seek out an old boyfriend or old
[01:09:41] girlfriend that's now married. There's an innocent party now. If you were involved in some kind of affair, you don't need contact with that person. So again, you use the empty chair, you write the letter that you never send, and once you sincerely seek forgiveness, you're free, whether that person
[01:10:00] forgives you or not. And you know what? You might not be reconciled because here's the truth.
[01:10:06] Reconciliation takes two people.
[01:10:09] Forgiveness, it just takes one.
[01:10:13] You're just doing what God asked you to do.
[01:10:15] It's about being humble and vulnerable so that you can walk free.
[01:10:21] So there's your homework for this week.
[01:10:27] Offer forgiveness.
[01:10:30] Seek forgiveness.
[01:10:33] Block out some time and start this process this week.
[01:10:37] In fact, today would be a really good day.
[01:10:40] and cooperate with God as you deal with any kind of smoldering anger. Because if you want to walk free, if you want to walk free, if you want to know real joy, if you want to know peace,
[01:10:51] if you want to be filled with light, there's no other option. You have to do this. You have to do this. I got to be honest with you. You're going to have a tough time ever forgiving until you
[01:11:07] experience forgiveness yourself. And I know, I know this is deep stuff today. And I know that God has been speaking to some of your hearts. And I know that the father is saying to some of y'all,
[01:11:17] just come home and let me love you. Would you let me forgive you? Would you let me lead you and set you free? And because those who have been forgiven much, man, they, they, they love much.
[01:11:29] So today, like right now, you can surrender your life to the care and control of Jesus Christ, the one who went to a cross to nail your sin and pass there. You could be forgiven today.
[01:11:38] you could invite him today to do what he's always wanted to do, to forgive you, to love you, to lead your life, to change your heart.
[01:11:51] Father, right now, I just want to pause and thank you for all of this.
[01:11:56] Thank you that you've given us the pathway to walk free and be full of joy and peace and get rid of all this smoldering junk that's inside of us.
[01:12:06] Get rid of bitterness that controls our lives.
[01:12:12] So Father, I pray that your Holy Spirit would go to work on us this week, even right now in this moment, that some in this moment say, I need to give my life to Jesus Christ
[01:12:20] because I can't do this on my own.
[01:12:22] And I need to be forgiven so that I can forgive.
[01:12:25] I need to be forgiven right now.
[01:12:29] And Father, I know that this is a challenging assignment.
[01:12:34] I've done it many times and it always is hard, but it's always so freeing.
[01:12:42] There's so many benefits to us doing what you ask us to do.
[01:12:45] So God, we want to do what you ask us to do this week.
[01:12:48] And just like we prayed last week, would your Holy Spirit remind us this week?
[01:12:51] Come on, sit down and get this done.
[01:12:53] Do this, do this.
[01:12:56] Father, even when names pop into our head this week, I pray that we would just release them to you and we just let that go.
[01:13:04] Father, I thank you for the strength that you give us to do it.
[01:13:07] I thank you for the wisdom that you give us to do it.
[01:13:10] And I pray for everyone here as we start to do that this week so that we can become more and more like you and you can take out our angry hearts.
[01:13:17] and you can give us a heart that beats after the things that your heart beats after.
[01:13:21] And I pray all this in Jesus' name, amen.

[01:13:24] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[01:13:24] Amen, amen.
[01:13:25] Thank you, Pastor Mike.
[01:13:25] What a powerful word today.
[01:13:28] Hey, if today God's stirring something in you and maybe even right now you've realized that you need to ask Jesus to forgive you of your sins and to take control of your life right after our service is over.
[01:13:37] We've got teams underneath each of the crosses in this room as well as at our Next Step Center out in the lobby that would love to talk through and process through whatever God may be stirring in your heart today.
[01:13:47] Don't leave with those questions unanswered.
[01:13:49] Hey, we love to celebrate as a church, though, what God has been up to and what He's been doing, thanks in part to your generosity, that you may or may not know this, but every time that we have Rooted that goes on,
[01:13:59] one of the weeks of it, we have all of our folks that are in Rooted go out and serve the communities that they're in.
[01:14:04] And just recently, some of our team got to go serve our East Dallas community at the White Rock Center of Hope.
[01:14:09] They wanted to give a little message to the people of Lake Point.
[01:14:11] Check this out.

[01:14:15] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[01:14:15] White Rock Center of Hope has been cultivating hope in East Dallas since 1988.
[01:14:20] Through basic needs services, those things that you need to survive, food, clothing, a roof over your head.
[01:14:28] We also have our empowerment program, connecting folks to services for the skills they need for tomorrow.
[01:14:34] And then we also have a thrift store.

[01:14:36] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[01:14:36] Last year we served about 15,000 unique people about 60,000 times.
[01:14:40] They came an average of four times last year to receive help.
[01:14:44] And that help came in the form of very practical things like food and clothes and education.

[01:14:49] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[01:14:49] We serve specifically the five zip codes around East Dallas.
[01:14:53] Y'all have become a massive supporter of White Rock Center of Hope, especially at our Saturday food distribution.

[01:15:00] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[01:15:00] At first, we had about 40 families receiving groceries.
[01:15:03] We now serve over 400 families, each receiving more than 60 pounds of nutritious food on Saturday mornings.
[01:15:09] We are so grateful for our ongoing partnership with Lake Point.
[01:15:11] Thank you so much for continuing to support our ministry.

[01:15:14] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[01:15:14] The need is growing, and we can only meet that growing need through your support.

[01:15:18] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[01:15:18] Man, can we celebrate that?
[01:15:19] What God is up to in our East Dallas community.
[01:15:22] Hey, you need to hear this, that your generosity is putting food on the table of the food insecure.
[01:15:27] It's putting clothing on the back of those who don't have any.
[01:15:30] So thank you for being a part of the faithful giving here every single week.
[01:15:34] To give today, you can do it in a couple of ways.
[01:15:36] You can drop your offering off at the boxes on the way out or in the buckets as they pass.
[01:15:40] Or the easiest way is to text the word give to the number 20411 to give online.
[01:15:45] But let's do this.
[01:15:46] Let's go ahead and stand to our feet right now and continue to worship both as we give and as we sing.

[01:17:23] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[01:17:23] Well, Lake Point family, thank you.
[01:17:25] Thank you for joining us today.
[01:17:27] Hey, once again, if you're in the DFW area and you've been watching online but haven't stepped into a campus yet, we would love to meet you in person.
[01:17:34] We have eight campuses across the DFW area and a brand new campus launching soon in Lucas Allen area.
[01:17:41] So no matter where you are in the Metroplex, there's likely a campus near you.
[01:17:45] And remember, make sure you subscribe as well to our YouTube channel with notifications turned on because Monday's Live Free episode continues the conversation right where today's message leaves off.
[01:17:54] If you're here and maybe after today's service, you need prayer, this week text PRAYER to 20411.
[01:18:01] You don't have to carry it alone.
[01:18:03] Hey, before we wrap, let me just take a moment and pray.
[01:18:06] Let's pray together.
[01:18:06] Heavenly Father, we thank you for this service.
[01:18:09] Thank you for everybody joining our Church Online community right now.
[01:18:12] I pray that whatever it is we received, we may carry it out in faith with boldness with courage the rest of the week but we continue to live a life in a week of worship in jesus name we pray amen lake point family thank you for joining us we love you we'll
[01:18:28] see you next welcome welcome welcome to lake point church online we're so glad that you're here joining us today if we haven't met yet my name is carlos and i serve as pastor of digital discipleship
[01:40:39] and if you're here and maybe this is your first time with us we're so glad you're here you're not just tuning into a broadcast you're joining a family and if you found us through live free
[01:40:49] and we want to say welcome as well drop that in the chat let us know we would love to hear more about how you ended up here we hear all these stories from people from all over the place from
[01:40:58] different cities states and countries so drop that in the chat say hi and also man if you're here we want you to stick around subscribe to our youtube channel if you haven't yet you can make that a
[01:41:08] rhythm of checking out our sermons and our episodes every single week hey for our church online regulars welcome back we see you and we're so grateful for you let us know also where you're watching from in the chat as well we'd love to know now if you're in the dfw area i want to put
[01:41:25] something on your radar saturdays are for church and at some point at some of our campuses you have a choice to worship with us either saturday or sunday and so if you've been thinking about
[01:41:34] visiting in person, this is a great place to start. Go to lakepoint.church locations and find the campus closest to you. Our host and prayer team are live in the chat right now as well. So
[01:41:47] don't be a stranger. Say hello. And Lake Point family, right now we have an amazing service prepared for you. So in this moment, let's posture ourselves in worship and let's get ready to

[01:41:57] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_11]
[01:41:57] worship. There's only one name by which all men are saved, healed, set free, and delivered.

[01:47:01] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[01:47:01] that name is Jesus do we believe that this morning this is the God that we serve this is who we are here to sing praises to so in this moment can I encourage us to fix our eyes on Jesus as we pour our love and adoration on him
[01:47:15] Come on, let's sing.

[01:47:17] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[01:47:17] There's just something about your name.
[01:47:55] Makes me cry.

[01:47:57] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[01:47:57] There is no other name.

[01:48:07] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_12]
[01:48:07] You high-five the person next to you and say, he is worthy.

[01:57:15] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[01:57:15] Come on.
[01:57:16] He is worthy of all of our praise.
[01:57:19] And as you take a seat, why don't we turn to the screens and celebrate with those declaring their faith in Jesus Christ through baptism.

[01:57:27] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[01:57:27] Hey, good morning, Lake Point family.
[01:57:29] This is Harper.
[01:57:30] Harper, have you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life?
[01:57:33] Yes.
[01:57:33] It's your dad's and my honor to baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
[01:57:48] This is Carlisle.
[01:57:50] Carlisle, have you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life?
[01:57:53] Yes.
[01:57:54] It's your mom's and my honor to baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
[01:57:58] And this is Colt.
[01:58:10] Colt, have you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life?
[01:58:13] Yes.
[01:58:13] It's your mom's and my honor to baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
[01:58:28] And this is Devany. Devany, have you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life?
[01:58:32] Yes.
[01:58:32] It's your dad's and my honor to baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
[01:58:36] And this is Livvy. Livvy, have you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life?
[01:58:52] Yes.
[01:58:52] It's your dad's and my honor to baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
[01:58:56] And this is Samantha. Samantha, have you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life?
[01:59:13] It's my honor to baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
[01:59:26] And this is Yami.
[01:59:27] Yami, have you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life?
[01:59:30] Yes.
[01:59:30] And I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
[01:59:33] And this is Josh.
[01:59:43] Josh, have you accepted Jesus as Lord and Savior of your life?
[01:59:46] Yes.
[01:59:46] And I baptize you in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

[01:59:49] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[01:59:49] Well, hey, Lake Point family, what a powerful moment.
[01:59:58] Man, seeing people go public with their faith through baptism is a reminder that Jesus still changes lives.
[02:00:06] And he has restored marriages, healing hearts, breaking addictions, and calling people back to himself.
[02:00:10] And moments like this are exactly why we keep saying Saturdays are for church.
[02:00:15] Hey, in a world that's constantly pulling families apart, filling every schedule and distracting us from what matters most, gathering together around the presence of God just really matters.
[02:00:25] Whether you're joining us on Saturday or Sunday or in person or online, don't underestimate what God can do in these spaces each and every single week.
[02:00:34] For some of you, maybe you're here and maybe your next step may simply be consistency.
[02:00:38] showing up, leaning in, worshiping with expectation, bringing your family with you, inviting somebody who needs hope. And maybe if you're watching online from outside of the DFW, let me just encourage you as well. Don't just watch church, get planted in a Bible local church
[02:00:53] near you. Christianity was never meant to be lived out alone. You need community and accountability and people who can walk with you through every season of life. And so if you're here and maybe you need help finding a church near you we want to help you text the word map
[02:01:09] to 20411 and we would love to help also if you recently gave your life to jesus we would love to invite you to take a next step as well just take the word text the word life to 20411 we have
[02:01:22] resources ready to help you take that next step in your discipleship journey and before we continue you i just want to say also thank you for your generosity because of your faithfulness stories like the one we just celebrated today keeps happening families are finding hope people are
[02:01:39] encountering jesus and the gospel is reaching further and farther than ever through live free and church online and so if you'd like to continue being a part of what god is doing through lake point you can give anytime by texting the word give to two zero four one one or going to lake
[02:01:55] point.church slash give. Lake Point family, thank you again for your generosity. And now let's see

[02:02:03] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_00]
[02:02:03] what's on LPS. Hey, Lake Point, it's almost time for At The Movies starting July 11th and 12th.
[02:02:13] Just like Jesus used parables, this four-week sermon series uses clips from blockbuster movies to bring biblical truths to life. Plus, every campus will have photo opportunities, free popcorn and drinks, and kids programming for ages birth through fifth grade.
[02:02:28] At the Movies is in-person only, so make room in your schedule and move those vacation dates to be here.
[02:02:34] Head over to lakepoint.church slash movies for times and details.
[02:02:39] Parents, Summer Blast starts this Tuesday, June 16th through 18th, for kids who have completed kindergarten through fourth grade.
[02:02:46] This is the week your child will be talking about all summer, and it's not too late to register.
[02:02:51] Just text BLAST to 20411 for all the details.
[02:02:55] and join us next weekend for Father's Day on June 20th and 21st as we take time to celebrate all the dads of Lake Point.
[02:03:03] Start making plans to bring your dad to church for a powerful message.
[02:03:07] And before we go, parents of high schoolers, don't forget June 14th is the last day to register your student for High School United Camp on June 25th through 29th.
[02:03:17] Text CAMP to 20411 to register.
[02:03:21] Now, let's dive back into our series, En Fuego.

[02:03:24] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_05]
[02:03:24] All right, good morning, everybody. Great to see you all. Welcome to Lake Point.
[02:03:57] Hey, if it's your first time here, man, super excited that you guys are here.
[02:04:01] If you're one of our campuses, you're watching online, man, super grateful for you all as well.
[02:04:05] My name is Bro, by the way, and I get to be on the teaching team here.
[02:04:08] And we're in this little series all about fire that we're calling En Fuego.
[02:04:15] And I'm excited because next week we're going to unpack a really cool fire story from the pages of the Bible.
[02:04:21] and we're going to talk about you and me being consumed by God and by life and passion.
[02:04:27] Then week four, we're going to talk about how our character sometimes gets refined when we have to go through the fire. But if you were here with us last week, then you know we're taking these first
[02:04:38] two weeks to talk about a very important topic, a little fire called anger. So let me ask you, How'd you do this week?
[02:04:47] Do okay?
[02:04:49] Were you able to reflect before you automatically reacted?
[02:04:54] Did you pause and think, hang on a second, I'm getting a little heated up here.
[02:04:59] What's really going on in here?
[02:05:02] Did anybody else sense the Holy Spirit saying to you, come on, calm down?
[02:05:08] A gentle answer turns away wrath.
[02:05:12] I got a friend who started saying exact phrases that Jesus said in the New Testament of the Bible.
[02:05:21] For instance, he had an encounter with a difficult neighbor, and he stopped in a moment and smiled and thought to himself, love your neighbor as yourself. Then his wife asked him to do something.
[02:05:34] He was really busy doing a project, and what she asked him to do had nothing to do with his project. But instead of grumbling, he said to himself, if someone asks you to go one
[02:05:43] mile, then go with them too. Then he was on the interstate and there was a huge flashing yellow arrow telling everybody to merge ahead. And everybody was slowing down and getting over.
[02:05:57] And he looks in the side view mirror and he sees this guy who's going to pass by everybody and break in line. So he slides over and blocks this guy and says, get thee behind me, Satan.
[02:06:09] So he's making progress, but it's slow. It's slow progress, but he's making it.
[02:06:15] The deal is all of us deal with anger, right? Some of y'all told me last weekend, man, I felt like God was talking directly to me. Or maybe you said, oh man, I really needed to hear that. Well,
[02:06:27] you need to know this. God knew I needed to hear it four times last weekend. So we all deal with anger. And anybody like me this week, did you hear our key verses coming up in your mind during a
[02:06:39] heated moment? Maybe those key verses from James chapter one, where he said, listen, understand this, my dear brothers and sisters, you all must be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to get angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. Now, when you and
[02:06:56] I come to God. The good news is, man, we can come as we are. You need to know that. God meets you and me right in the middle of our mess and dysfunction. He loves us as is, but he loves
[02:07:13] us way too much to leave us there. He wants to turn us into his best version of us. And when unhealthy anger controls our lives, we just never will become that. So that's why we're talking
[02:07:26] about this for a couple of weeks. In January the 25th, 1999, Matthew Scott was the first American to undergo a hand transplant. It happened at Jewish Hospital in Louisville, Kentucky.
[02:07:39] And even though the hand donor was supposed to be anonymous, even to Matthew Scott, it was revealed that the hand came from an inmate, Glenn William Johnson, who was a convicted murderer. He had taken his own life in jail just days before the operation. So Matthew Scott now has attached to
[02:07:57] his wrist the hand of a murderer. But you know what? That hand ain't going to make him behave any differently because the source of murder isn't in the hand. It's in the anger raging in the heart.
[02:08:13] We saw these words from Jesus last weekend. We said, you've heard our ancestors were told you must not murder. If you commit murder, you're subject to judgment. But I say, if you're even angry with someone, you're subject to judgment. If you call someone an idiot, you're in danger
[02:08:29] of being brought before the court. And if you curse someone, you're in danger of the fires of hell. So Jesus is telling you and me, it's all about what lies beneath. It's all about the
[02:08:40] condition of our heart. It's not only out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.
[02:08:46] It's also out of the overflow of the heart, the hands murder.
[02:08:51] Out of the overflow of the heart, the hands abuse.
[02:08:54] Out of the overflow of the heart, the hands steal.
[02:08:56] Out of the overflow of the heart, the hands take another person's spouse.
[02:09:00] It all comes from the heart.
[02:09:04] It's why we said last weekend, we got to go to God and pray that prayer, search me, O God, and know my heart.
[02:09:11] Is there anything lurking in there?
[02:09:14] Is there anything offensive that needs to go?
[02:09:16] is there any kind of like unresolved anger in there? That's just doing a number on my spiritual, my emotional, my relational, and my physical health. What is it, God, that lies beneath?
[02:09:29] Well, today Jesus dives even deeper. Check out what he goes on to say in Matthew 5. So if you are presenting a sacrifice at the altar in the temple, and you suddenly remember that someone
[02:09:40] has something against you, leave your sacrifice there at the altar. Go and be reconciled to that person. Then come and offer your sacrifice to God. When you're on your way to court with your adversary, settle your differences quickly. Otherwise, your accuser may hand you over to
[02:09:57] the judge who will hand you over to an officer and you will be thrown in prison. And if that happens, you surely won't be free again until you have paid the last penny. So there is a combustible
[02:10:10] kind of anger that we talked about last weekend, but there's also this smoldering kind of anger.
[02:10:16] And according here to Jesus, if you and I don't deal with it, it will lock us up in a self-imposed prison of bitterness.
[02:10:26] Let me show you again one of our key verses from last weekend, Ephesians 4, verse 26 to 27.
[02:10:31] And don't sin by letting anger control you.
[02:10:36] Don't let the sun go down while you're still angry, for anger gives a mighty foothold to the devil.
[02:10:41] This is echoing these words of Jesus.
[02:10:43] if you don't deal with it quickly, you're allowing Satan to set up base camp in your soul.
[02:10:50] And so before you know it, the unresolved smoldering kind of anger has morphed into a deep, deep bitterness that has you all locked up. You see, our enemy has a strategy with all this stuff. He wants to get us to either like deny the anger or dwell on the anger. And he really loves
[02:11:12] to get us like swinging back and forth like a pendulum, deny, dwell, deny, dwell, deny, dwell.
[02:11:19] And if you deny it, man, you're gonna get filled up with dishonesty and insecurity, anxiety, fear, envy, rage, codependency, I mean, you name it.
[02:11:28] And if you dwell on it, if you let it smolder inside of you, if you start to foster hate and resentment, and you're always planning a payback and you're always seeking revenge, you're wanting the worst to happen to that other person,
[02:11:40] you become like this volcano full of hidden, smoldering, molten lava ready to erupt at any moment. That's his strategy. He wants to get us swinging back and forth. Deny, dwell, deny, dwell, deny, dwell. And as we do that, that anger is slowly killing us and those around us.
[02:12:02] So that's why Jesus takes us to what lies beneath and says, don't deny it. Don't dwell on it.
[02:12:09] you got to deal with it you got to deal with it and that may mean you have to have some honest conversations it may mean some overdue apologies need to happen it may mean that you blow off some
[02:12:21] steam with God the way David did in the Psalms it may mean humbling yourself and inviting some accountability in your life it may mean unpacking that stuff with a counselor or joining like an anger support group or working the recovery steps through region but you and I have to stop denying
[02:12:37] and dwelling. And we got to deal with it. And like we said last weekend, the really good news is the Holy Spirit will help you do this. He has the power to transform any angry heart. Plus,
[02:12:54] He really wants to. And if we will cooperate with the transformation that He wants to do in us, if we will embrace the freedom that comes through forgiveness, He will replace all that anger with things like love and joy and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and gentleness
[02:13:11] and faithfulness and self-control. And he wants to do it because unresolved anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. We will never ever become God's best version of us if we just let it smolder. So we got a lot of ground to cover today and we're going to go deep
[02:13:30] today. You'll see a lot of scriptures today. And like I said last week, if you want to take a screenshot when they pop up. That's great. You want to jot them down as fast as you can go.
[02:13:37] But here's a key verse for those with smoldering anger inside of us. And not only is this a key verse, this is literally a key that unlocks the prison of bitterness. Check this out. Colossians
[02:13:48] 3.13. You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you.
[02:13:54] Remember the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Let me read that again.
[02:13:59] You must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you.
[02:14:05] Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
[02:14:10] Did you catch the language there?
[02:14:12] I must.
[02:14:14] Not I might.
[02:14:15] Not I should.
[02:14:16] Not I ought to.
[02:14:18] I must forgive others.
[02:14:21] Listen, freedom and wellness comes with no other option.
[02:14:24] If you and I want to walk free, we must take this step.
[02:14:29] Now, I want to talk about how we do this, but before we get to how, I want to ask why.
[02:14:35] So why must I forgive those who have hurt me?
[02:14:38] Well, the first thing that comes to my mind comes straight from that verse, because God has forgiven me.
[02:14:43] Remember, the Lord has forgiven you, so you must forgive others.
[02:14:47] If I've invited God into my life, if I have turned my life and will over the care and control of Jesus Christ, if I am experiencing his incredible grace and forgiveness for my truckload of sin, then I must now extend the same kind of grace and forgiveness to other people.
[02:15:04] It says this in Romans chapter two, verse four, it says, don't you realize how kind, how tolerant, how patient God's been with you? Or don't you care? Can't you see how kind he has been and given you
[02:15:17] time to turn from your sin? So if God has given me his grace, when I deserve his anger, wrath, and justice, then who am I to withhold grace from those who have hurt me? When I'm reminded of how
[02:15:32] much I have been forgiven, it makes it easier for me to forgive other people because I see that I will never, ever have to forgive somebody else more than what God has already forgiven me.
[02:15:44] Now, I know about right now you're thinking, I hear you, bro, but man, they owe me. My parents hurt me bad. They owe me. Those kids at school, they owe me. My brother owes me. That old boyfriend owes me. My spouse owes me. My in-laws owe me. That boss owes me.
[02:16:01] And if I let them off the hook, it just would not be fair. They will pay. Well, we saw this take out the garbage verse last weekend. Again, it's Ephesians 4. It says, get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, slander, as well as all types of malicious
[02:16:18] behavior. Paul's saying, take that garbage to the curb. Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another just as God through Christ has forgiven you. You see, here's the deal. We owed God. Aren't you glad He didn't give us fair? Instead, He gave us His Son,
[02:16:41] and He assumed the guilt, and He paid the debt that our sin had racked up, and that's just not fair. That's grace. But still, our human nature rears its ugly head and we cry out for justice,
[02:16:56] revenge, retribution. I mean, let's be honest, we get an adrenaline rush, right? Watching those movies where the really evil guy gets paid back. I mean, you go to that Carrie Underwood concert, you know what song every woman is singing. It ain't Jesus, it's I take the wheel, I'm telling
[02:17:12] you that. It's I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped up four-wheel drive, carved my name into his leather seats. I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights, slashed a hole in all four tires. Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats, every woman's got their
[02:17:26] cell phone out. Lights are on, singing every, yeah, that's right, that's right. See, we get easily deceived into thinking that true release, real freedom, it lies in revenge, sweet revenge.
[02:17:40] Man, that is such a lie, such a lie, which is the second reason I must forgive because bitterness is stupid. Bitterness is stupid. Job 5.2 says this, resentment kills a fool and envy slays the simple. Bitterness is just plain stupid. And it caused you to do like stupid
[02:17:57] things. It's irrational. It's unhealthy. It's unproductive. And did I mention stupid? Job 18.4 says this, you're only hurting who? Yourself with your anger. I mean, you're stewing and spewing all upset about something, somebody that hurt you maybe 10, 20, 30 years ago. They may even forgotten
[02:18:15] and all about or even passed away. But in your smoldering anger, you're allowing them to continue to hurt you. Listen to me. Resentment can't change the past. It can't change the problem. It can't change the pain. It can't change that other person. Resentment only hurts you. Some of y'all
[02:18:34] in the business world, you understand the whole cost-benefit analysis thing where you weigh like the effort, the manpower, the hours involved, the cost of materials compared to your return on investment. So a while back, I searched through the scriptures. I did a little cost-benefit
[02:18:53] analysis on bitterness. The results are in. Huge cost. Zero benefit. Here's what I found.
[02:19:02] Bitterness blinds us spiritually. According to 1 John chapter 2, if we continue to hold grudges and we hate other people, we spend our lives stumbling around in the dark. Bitterness also messes with our prayers. According to Mark chapter 11 and 1 Peter chapter 3, our lack of grace-filled
[02:19:19] communication with other people affects the way we converse with God. I found that it also steals our freedom. And Jesus said that in Matthew chapter 5. And over there, it's in Matthew chapter 18.
[02:19:31] He tells us that bitterness just becomes our own prison. When our hearts are filled with hatred and revenge. When we say, man, they ought to lock up that guy and throw away the key. You know who gets
[02:19:43] locked up. And sometimes it can be a life sentence. Bitterness also changes our personalities.
[02:19:51] David over in Psalm 73 talks about how his bitterness brought out all these animalistic instincts. He said, I became like an ignorant brute beast. And it's well-documented that bitterness destroys our health. I mean, it's been my experience. And all kinds of research backs up
[02:20:10] this assertion that lots of people are sick or stay sick because of unresolved bitterness in their lives. You see, it's not so much what you eat, but what eats you that'll kill you.
[02:20:24] And I have watched way too many people who refuse to forgive. They won't let go of the relational scars and wounds. They won't give up their right to get even. They cannot let go of
[02:20:34] the past and bitterness literally eats them alive. Job 21 says this, some may stay healthy until the day they die. They die happy and at ease. Others have no happiness at all. They live and die with bitter hearts. You want that inscribed on your tombstone? He lives, she lived
[02:20:58] and died with a bitter heart. I'm just telling you, unforgiveness is a really bad option. There's a huge cost and zero benefit, which makes it a stupid choice. On the other hand, forgiveness, even though it will cost you, it'll cost you some humility. It'll cost you some courage,
[02:21:21] but it has all kinds of benefits attached. It is such a healthy and free way to live your life.
[02:21:29] Some of y'all are familiar with the big book from AA, which drew its principles from scripture.
[02:21:35] In chapter 6, specifically pages 83 and 84, it has what they call the promises, and it's all wrapped around forgiveness, and it's making amends step. These are the benefits of forgiveness. You got new freedom and happiness. There's like liberation and joy that rushes into your life.
[02:21:52] There's no more regrets. You're not hiding from the past. You got serenity and peace. You got a peace you can't even explain to other people. There's a loss of self-pity, uselessness and victimization. They start to disappear. You begin to focus on others. In fact, it even feels weird
[02:22:06] when you're selfish. You've got to change attitude. There's a fundamental shift in your outlook on life. There's freedom from fear. You've got a newfound confidence. There's intuitive guidance.
[02:22:16] You know how to handle difficult situations because you've got some divine help. You realize that the powerful God is working on the inside of you, doing for you what you could never do for yourself. While there is tremendous cost and zero benefits attached to bitterness and anger,
[02:22:32] the benefits of forgiveness, man, they're off the charts. So there's why we must forgive. So how?
[02:22:42] How do you practically do this? How do you and I extend forgiveness to those who have hurt us?
[02:22:48] Well, I think just like with everything, I'm talking everything, you start by inviting God to be involved. You pray that search me, oh God, kind of prayer. And maybe you grab a pen and some
[02:22:59] paper or a journal or something like that. Maybe you grab your laptop and you just write down a prayer in your own words that might go something like this. God, I want to thank you for your
[02:23:07] kindness, for your graciousness toward me, for your patience with me. And I just want to admit that I haven't shown the same kind of grace to people who have hurt me. Instead, honestly, God, I've let my anger smolder. I've held on to my bitterness, my thirst for revenge, for way too
[02:23:23] long. So I'm asking for your help right now. Please bring to mind all the people that I need to forgive so I can do this and be free. And then you just start to list the names of people that
[02:23:35] come to your mind. If a name comes to your mind, just write it down. They may or may not be people who need forgiveness from you, but they may be a totally innocent party. But their name may lead
[02:23:47] you to a story that may take you deeper into discovering the who who does need forgiveness from you. Also, a lot of times we hang on to things and punish ourselves for the wrong choices
[02:24:00] we've made in life. So as you're like listing names, make sure you write down at the bottom of your list, myself. Because like unresolved bitterness, unresolved guilt and shame can also eat you alive. Forgiving yourself is embracing the truth that God through Jesus Christ has already
[02:24:18] forgiven you. And if God forgives you, you can forgive yourself. I mean, Jesus said those who've been forgiven much, man, they love much. And people who find it hard to forgive usually don't feel very forgiven themselves. But those who know that they've been touched by the amazing grace of God,
[02:24:36] they find it much easier to be gracious toward other people. I also think as you're doing this, As you're making your list, you ought to write down at the bottom of your list, God.
[02:24:49] Write down God.
[02:24:49] Now, obviously, God doesn't need forgiveness because he's never done anything wrong.
[02:24:55] But sometimes, honestly, we harbor some anger, some disappointment, some disillusionment, some resentment and bitterness against him.
[02:25:05] I mean, maybe he didn't do what we wanted him to do, or maybe he didn't do it in the way we thought he should have done it.
[02:25:10] Or maybe we say, if you cared about me at all, this would never have happened to me.
[02:25:14] And so those feelings of resentment can just throw up a wall.
[02:25:18] So we've got to let this stuff go and just say to God, God, I don't understand it all, but you're my father.
[02:25:23] And I know I live in a broken world, and I know I realize that I am not exempt from the fallout of it.
[02:25:29] So I'm just going to trust your heart.
[02:25:30] I'm going to trust your wisdom.
[02:25:32] I'm going to trust your better view from above.
[02:25:34] But most importantly, I'm going to trust your unfailing love for me.
[02:25:39] So as you prepare to do this, let me tell you some things forgiveness is not.
[02:25:43] forgiveness is not forgetting. Some people flippantly say, forgive and forget. Can you really do that? I mean, hurts leave scars. And sometimes they even constant daily reminders because of the situation, their actions have placed you in. So it's not as easy as, oh,
[02:26:00] forgive and forget. And forgiveness is not saying no big deal. It was a big deal. It hurt.
[02:26:07] Forgiveness doesn't pretend that the pain isn't real. So don't excuse it. Don't minimize it.
[02:26:12] don't rationalize it. And forgiveness, this is huge, is not a feeling. It's not a feeling.
[02:26:18] Forgiveness is a choice. It's a decision of your will. Don't wait until you feel like forgiving because it's not based on feelings. It's a decision to surrender to the authority and leadership of God. He asked you and me to do this. So this is a step of obedience. And since God
[02:26:36] requires us to forgive, it's something we can do. He's not going to ask us to do something that He won't help us do. So don't wait till you feel like forgiving, because you'll never get there.
[02:26:49] You make the hard choice even when you don't feel like it, because once you choose to forgive, God will begin the process of healing your damaged emotions. And as you forgive, as you do this,
[02:27:00] forgive from your heart. I mean, forgive from your heart. Just let God bring to the surface all that painful junk and all those memories. Just acknowledge how you honestly feel toward those who have hurt you. And I know as a man, it's hard for some of us guys to think about feelings and
[02:27:19] stuff like that. But listen to me, guys, if we don't humble ourselves and do this, we just stay stuck. If forgiveness doesn't touch the emotional core of your soul, it will be incomplete. Too often we're way afraid of the pain, so we bury our emotions deep down inside of us. Let God bring
[02:27:36] them out. That's why there's usually tears involved in this process. You acknowledge the very real hurt, the pain, even the hate, so that you can forgive that person from your heart. Now, when you start this process, you need to know this. It's not always possible. It's not always profitable
[02:27:55] or even advisable to go back to somebody who's hurt you. Because some people have changed.
[02:28:02] Some people have moved away. Some people have even passed away. Some don't even know that they hurt you. So for you to show up like 30 years later and say, you did this to me, would probably
[02:28:11] do more damage than it would good. So in those cases, what you do, and I've done this a couple of times, where you take an empty chair and put it in front of you, like that person sitting there
[02:28:19] and just talk to them, or you write a letter to them that you never sent. I've done both those things. I have had friends that have visited tombstones, had a heart-to-heart conversation right there in the cemetery. The point is to get honest. It's okay to unload on that chair.
[02:28:34] It's okay to unload on that person in the letter. And then you end it by saying, but starting today, I forgive you. You see, forgiveness is God's way of ending the perpetual cycle of abuse. And again, you might be saying, but bro, you don't know. You don't know, man,
[02:28:53] how much they hurt me. You're right. I don't know that. But until you let go of your anger, that person is allowed to keep hurting you. We cannot hit rewind and undo the past, but we can
[02:29:04] walk free from it. You really can stop the pain. And gang, the only way to do it, the only way to do it is to forgive from the heart. You do this for your sake. See, forgiveness has given up your
[02:29:18] right to get even. You just release that person to God and you let God go to work on that person.
[02:29:23] he loves them. You let him or her off your hook because as long as you refuse to forgive somebody, you are still hooked to that person. You're still chained to your past. You're bound up in bitterness
[02:29:36] so you give up your right to get even and you let God deal with that person. Says this in Romans chapter 12, never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Do things in such a way that everyone can see
[02:29:48] that you are honorable. Do your part. Live in peace with everyone as much as possible.
[02:29:54] Dear friends, never avenge yourselves. Leave that to God. For it's written, I will take vengeance.
[02:30:01] I will repay those who deserve it, says the Lord. So you give up your perceived right to get even, and you just let God deal with them. And listen, this is important. Don't wait for that person to
[02:30:14] ask for your forgiveness. There's a little groveling pride thing going on there. You make the decision first. I mean, Jesus modeled that at the cross, right? When he said, father, forgive them for they don't know what they're doing. And also growing up with a former alcohol abuser,
[02:30:32] former compulsive gambler, sometimes out of control in many different ways. I've also learned this forgiveness is a grain to live with the consequences of another person's sin. There's a harsh reality of life. Imperfect people make mistakes and imperfect people hurt imperfect
[02:30:49] people. And the consequences always have this ripple effect. So here's the deal. We're going to have to live with the consequences anyway, whether we like it or not. So like the only choice we have is whether we will live in the bondage of bitterness or in the freedom of
[02:31:05] forgiveness. It's our choice to stop playing the victim card and walk away from that kind of life.
[02:31:11] I've also learned that I need to forgive often. I got to forgive often. You know, one time one of Jesus' followers, you might remember, came up to Jesus and said, so help me, help me with this. How many times do I got to forgive somebody? Is it like seven? And Jesus
[02:31:27] smiled and said, well, it's more like seven times 70. And Jesus chooses like a never ending number saying to all of us, you're going to need to do this for the rest of your life because memories
[02:31:39] come back and you run into people from time to time and you might have to deal with the next spouse. And when they pull in that driveway, it brings back all those old feelings. It might be
[02:31:49] hard to let your kids get in the car with them. That's why forgiveness is a lifestyle. It's a spiritual discipline of releasing anger and bitterness again and again and again, and releasing that person to God. I know that I have to forgive often. Forgiveness is also choosing
[02:32:08] not to hold someone's sin against them anymore. Now, let me give you like a really huge qualifier here. It doesn't mean that you continue to put up with future sins of others. You don't allow
[02:32:21] yourself to be continually abused by other people. You set healthy boundaries, and a Christian counselor can help you do that, while at the same time, you're learning how to exercise grace and forgiveness for your own sake. So compile your list. As you get to that first person, you make
[02:32:36] the choice, the choice to forgive him or her for every painful memory that comes to your mind, and you focus on that person until you're sure that you have dealt with all the remembered pain
[02:32:46] and then you release them to God and you start working your way down your list.
[02:32:51] And again, as you begin forgiving people, I'm just telling you, God may bring to mind some pretty painful stuff.
[02:32:59] Let him do it, even if it hurts because he wants you to be free and forgiving other people is the only way.
[02:33:06] Now, don't try to excuse their behavior.
[02:33:09] Don't transfer their sin onto yourself and say, well, it's really kind of all my fault.
[02:33:14] Have I just been a better?
[02:33:15] Don't do that stuff.
[02:33:17] And don't say, God, help me forgive, because he's already helping you in this process.
[02:33:23] And don't say, God, I want to forgive.
[02:33:25] You say, God, right now, I choose to forgive so-and-so for what they have done or failed to do, which made me feel like this.
[02:33:36] I choose not to hold on to this resentment anymore. Thank you for loving me and setting me free from the bondage of my bitterness. I give up my right to get even. And I ask you right now to
[02:33:49] begin healing my damaged emotions. Now I know I'm totally dating myself, but growing up, I used to love to watch an old black and white show called the Andy Griffith Show. My grandkids loved that
[02:34:02] show. You can find it on TV Land channel. It was set in a little town called Mayberry. And there was Sheriff Andy Taylor and his deputy Barney Fyfe. And there was Floyd the barber and Goober
[02:34:11] the mechanic. There was Aunt Bea and Opie that was played by young Ron Howard. And there was a reoccurring character named Otis. He was known as the town drunk. That was not real PC, but this
[02:34:22] was back in the 60s when the show came out. And Otis would stumble into the jail. He'd walk into a cell. They would lock the door behind him and then hang the keys right outside the door so he
[02:34:35] could reach through the bars at any time, unlock himself and leave whenever he wanted to. And listen to me, the keys are hanging right outside your cell. Refuse to be locked up any longer in
[02:34:48] bitterness. Choose to forgive. Walk out of the prison of resentment and anger and be free today.
[02:34:55] Okay, so you might not like this second part.
[02:35:06] If you want that kind of freedom to be a reality for you, there is a second part to this process.
[02:35:13] You've got to make amends to people that you have hurt in some way.
[02:35:17] You've got to make amends to people you have hurt in some way.
[02:35:20] Again, Romans 12, Love must be sincere, honor one another above yourselves, bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse, live in harmony with one another.
[02:35:28] If it is possible, as far as it depends upon you, live at peace with everyone.
[02:35:33] As far as it depends upon you, you make things right.
[02:35:38] I love this little verse in Colossians 3.15.
[02:35:41] It says, let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts.
[02:35:44] And the word used here for rule literally is umpire or referee.
[02:35:49] So as you start this process of seeking forgiveness, let the peace of Christ be the referee.
[02:35:55] Let Jesus go to the replay monitor, so to speak, and review things with you.
[02:35:59] So as you seek forgiveness, you can go humbly with a heart that is ruled, not by excuses, not by justification, not by defensiveness, not by self-preservation, but a heart that's ruled by the peace of God. So how do you do this part? How do you seek
[02:36:17] forgiveness and make amends with other people? First of all, make sure you have already done the first part of this step, that you have forgiven other people for whatever they may have done to you. And once you've extended it, then you can seek it. So again, I think you make
[02:36:31] a list and you write down, like, who did I hurt? What did I do? Why did I do it? And what were the consequences? So you can't think of anybody? I thought you might say that. Let me throw out
[02:36:45] some helpful memory jostlers to get you started. Is there anyone I owe a debt to that I haven't repaid? Is there anyone I've broken a promise to? Has anybody been guilty of over-controlling?
[02:36:55] Anybody I've been harsh with? Maybe a wife or a husband or a sister or a child or a parent, employee, a friend, anybody I've been hypercritical of? Anybody I've been verbally abusive toward, physically abusive toward, emotionally abusive toward? Anybody I've been unfaithful to? Anybody
[02:37:09] I've taken for granted? Anybody I've lied to, stolen from, gossiped? Is this enough to get you going or do I need to keep on going? So you just ask, who did I hurt and what did I do?
[02:37:19] Why did I do it? And what happened as a result of what I did? That helps for your apology to be heartfelt and sincere because you have humbly and honestly thought through your motives and the
[02:37:32] pain it might have caused them. Let me give you an example. Maybe you write down, who did I hurt?
[02:37:40] I hurt my coworker, Jill. What did I do? I hurt Jill with some untrue slander at work.
[02:37:47] Why did I do that? Because of my own insecurity and envy of Jill's talent and success.
[02:37:55] What were the consequences? It caused other people to question her character and made the climate so uncomfortable that Jill eventually resigned. So now when I go to make amends to Jill, I not only remember what I did, I now know why I acted that way, but I could also feel Jill's pain
[02:38:14] and apologize with humility and deep sincerity. One more, maybe write down who'd I hurt? My wife.
[02:38:22] What did I do? I blew up again, called her a really bad name, slammed the door, left for a while, slept on the couch. Why? Because my temper's out of control. Because I got a bunch of unresolved
[02:38:33] anger, guilt, and bitterness rolling around inside of me that just leaks out. What were the consequences? Her self-esteem was shattered. Her anxiety levels raised to the point of fear.
[02:38:46] It's created trust issues. And now there's like a wall between us. So now when I go to her, I can acknowledge and own my part in this and say, I am deeply, deeply sorry. Not just because I hate
[02:38:58] sleeping on the couch, not just because I want our marriage to work better, but because now I can feel how deeply I've hurt you. Listen to me. There are people in your life that need to hear
[02:39:09] you say, I am so, so sorry. Not because you got caught, not because it's making things more uncomfortable for you, but because you hurt them. So think through exactly how you will ask those you have hurt to forgive you. And you pray, God, if someone were coming to me, how would I want
[02:39:31] them to approach me? How would I like to be approached? You let those famous words of Jesus kind of guide your game plan where he said, do to others as you would have them do to you.
[02:39:40] So you find the right timing. You find the right place to approach them. You take total ownership and you label your actions as wrong. And you be specific and admit what you did. You don't make
[02:39:52] excuses. You don't blame anybody else. And this is important. Don't expect any kind of reaction.
[02:40:00] Don't expect them to forgive you. Doesn't matter. You're just cleaning your side of the ledger.
[02:40:08] You can't fail if you make amends with a humble, loving, sincere, repentant attitude. As far as depends upon you. Live at peace with everyone. And this part does depend upon you. I've talked before about my buddy Keith, who's now, I think he's 12 years sober. He's just doing great.
[02:40:28] But when he was working this, starting recovery steps, and he got to the step about making amends and forgiving other people and asking for forgiveness, he took a trip to his hometown where he grew up, had a really crazy childhood and teenage years. And he was outside of Memphis,
[02:40:45] Tennessee. He took a road trip and he went by old houses and just forgave people and asked for forgiveness, just sitting in the car. He went to a cemetery and he had several conversations with
[02:40:59] tombstones there, just pretending those people were still there hearing him. And he just poured out his heart and he asked for forgiveness and he forgave them for things they'd done to him.
[02:41:07] then he went to this guy's house and he knocked on the door and this older guy opened the door and Keith said uh hey uh you don't know me but my name is Keith and I used to live down the street
[02:41:19] from you when I was like 18 years old he goes I wasn't a very good person back then and you may have even forgot about this but I'm the guy that broke into your house and stole your bass guitar
[02:41:32] I sold it for drug money.
[02:41:34] He said, now I'm 50.
[02:41:37] So I figured the interest on that would be about, he says, $2,000 sound okay?
[02:41:44] Gave this guy $2,000 to replace his bass guitar that he stole 30 years ago.
[02:41:52] I think it's powerful when you can go in person and ask for forgiveness, except, again, when it's not possible or it's not profitable or it's not advisable, some situations you wouldn't want to go back because it's just going to reopen a whole can
[02:42:06] of worms and make the situation worse. Like you don't want to seek out an old boyfriend or an old girlfriend who's now married. There's an innocent party involved. And if you were involved in like
[02:42:17] some kind of affair, you don't need contact with that person. Again, use the empty chair or write a letter that you never send. And once you sincerely seek forgiveness, you're free. Whether that person forgives you or not. And here's the deal. You might not be reconciled to that person
[02:42:37] because, listen, reconciliation takes two people. Forgiveness, it just takes one. You're doing what God asked you to do. It's all about being humble and vulnerable so we can walk free. So there's your homework assignment this week. Offer forgiveness. Seek forgiveness. Block out some
[02:43:06] time and start the process this week. In fact, today would be a good day. Cooperate with God as you deal with any kind of smoldering anger, because I'm telling you, if you want to walk free,
[02:43:18] if you want to know real joy, if you want to know real peace, if you want to be filled with light, you have to do this. No other option. You got to do this. And I got to be honest with you,
[02:43:34] you're going to have a tough time ever forgiving until you experience forgiveness yourself.
[02:43:38] And I know, I know this is deep stuff. I also know that God's been speaking to your heart and the father is saying to you, come on, come home. Let me love you. Let me forgive you.
[02:43:49] Then let me lead you and let me set you free because those who've been forgiven much, man, they love much. So today you can surrender your life to the care and control of Jesus Christ,
[02:43:59] the one who went to a cross to nail your sin and your past there, and you could experience forgiveness today. Invite him to do what he has always wanted to do. Forgive you, give you a clean
[02:44:10] slate, love you, lead your life, and replace your angry heart with a heart that beats after his.
[02:44:18] so father just want to pause right now and thank you for your truth and thank you for pointing out as hard as this is this is something we have to do and god uh when we when we pray that that prayer
[02:44:33] that we often pray search me oh god you reveal a lot of stuff about our heart and a lot of stuff in there involves other people so god we just want to come to you and say we want to be free
[02:44:50] and we don't want hate to continue to rule our lives.
[02:44:55] We don't want unresolved anger to screw up our relationships, rob our peace, lock us up in a prison of bitterness.
[02:45:02] We don't want to live and die with a bitter heart.
[02:45:06] We want to be people that are free and full of joy and full of peace and full of light and full of love.
[02:45:13] The kind of people you want us to be, your best version of us.
[02:45:16] And we know that's only possible with your help.
[02:45:18] So we're asking for your help.
[02:45:19] But we're also saying we will cooperate with you this week and we will do this process so that we can walk free.
[02:45:26] God, you know how much I love these people, how much I want them to experience the freedom in their life.
[02:45:31] But I know you love them even more.
[02:45:33] And your deepest desire is for them to be forgiven by you and then to forgive other people and live the kind of life that's just full.
[02:45:40] Thank you, Jesus, for dying to give us that kind of life.
[02:45:42] And I pray all these things in your name.
[02:45:44] Amen.
[02:45:46] Amen, amen, amen.

[02:45:47] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[02:45:47] Hey, help me thank Pastor Mike for that message this morning.
[02:45:50] Hey, listen, maybe in today's message, Maybe you discovered that you need some forgiveness.
[02:45:57] Maybe you discovered your need for Jesus.
[02:46:00] Maybe there's another spiritual decision that you need to make today.
[02:46:03] We wanna encourage you to do that.
[02:46:05] And as a matter of fact, after all of our gatherings at Lake Point, underneath both crosses and at our Next Step Center in the lobby, we have people that are ready to pray with you
[02:46:13] and help you take a spiritual next step.
[02:46:16] So give us the opportunity to help you navigate that.
[02:46:19] Well, hey, if you're not already aware, We have an incredible discipleship journey at Lake Point called Rooted.
[02:46:25] It's a 10-week discipleship journey.
[02:46:27] And one component of Rooted is a serve week.
[02:46:30] And recently, we had some Rooted participants who were able to serve in our East Dallas community.
[02:46:35] Let's take a look at how your generosity has helped us move the mission forward.

[02:46:43] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[02:46:43] White Rock Center of Hope has been cultivating hope in East Dallas since 1988 through basic need services, those things that you need to survive, food, clothing, a roof over your head.
[02:46:55] We also have our empowerment program, connecting folks to services for the skills they need for tomorrow. And then we also have a thrift store. Last year, we served about 15,000 unique people

[02:47:06] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[02:47:06] about 60,000 times. They came an average of four times last year to receive help. And that help came in the form of very practical things like food and clothes and education. We serve specifically

[02:47:18] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[02:47:18] the five zip codes around East Dallas. Y'all have become a massive supporter of White Rock Center of Hope, especially at our Saturday food distribution. At first, we had about 40 families

[02:47:29] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[02:47:29] receiving groceries. We now serve over 400 families, each receiving more than 60 pounds of nutritious food on Saturday mornings. We are so grateful for our ongoing partnership with Lake Point. Thank you so much for continuing to support our ministry. The need is growing and we can only

[02:47:43] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[02:47:43] meet that growing need through your support. Lake Point, let's celebrate this incredible

[02:47:48] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[02:47:48] opportunity to serve and meet needs. Hey, it's because of your generosity that we're able to help those who are experiencing food insecurity and help meeting basic needs like providing clothes for people who have that need. Thank you so much for your generosity, for your faithful giving.
[02:48:03] Hey, if you're not already a part of giving at Lake Point, it's really easy to jump in.
[02:48:07] You can give in one of three ways. In just a moment, we're going to pass buckets right here in the room. You can also give at offering boxes at the back of the room. But the best and easiest
[02:48:16] way to give is by texting the word GIVE to 20411. Well, hey, it's been a great, great gathering. I'm going to invite you to stand. We're going to go out worshiping. Let's stand and sing and celebrate

[02:48:28] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_10]
[02:48:28] all the good things that God is doing around us. Lakewood family, thank you. Thank you for joining

[02:50:03] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[02:50:03] us today. Hey, once again, if you're in the DFW area and you've been watching online but haven't stepped into a campus yet, we would love to meet you in person. We have eight campuses across the
[02:50:13] DFW area and a brand new campus launching soon in Lucas Allen area. So no matter where you are in the Metroplex, there's likely a campus near you. And remember, make sure you subscribe as well to our YouTube channel with notifications turned on because Monday's Live Free episode
[02:50:28] continues the conversation right where today's message leaves off. If you're here, maybe after today's service, you need prayer. This week, text prayer to 20411. You don't have to carry it alone.
[02:50:40] Hey, before we wrap, let me just take a moment and pray.
[02:50:43] Let's pray together.
[02:50:44] Heavenly Father, we thank you for this service.
[02:50:46] Thank you for everybody joining our church online community right now.
[02:50:49] I pray that whatever it is we received, we may carry it out in faith, with boldness, with courage the rest of the week, but we continue to live a life and a week of worship.
[02:50:59] In Jesus' name we pray.
[02:51:01] Amen.
[02:51:02] Lakewood family, thank you for joining us.
[02:51:05] We love you.
[02:51:05] See you next time.