The Danger of Self-Powered Salvation: A Critique of Todd’s Marriage Teaching

• Relationship Goals and Soul Health [00:01:49 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor introduces the series 'relationship goals' and establishes that healthy relationships stem from healthy individuals, requiring self-awareness and surrender.
• Marriage and Cultural Pressure [00:11:25 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that 'marriage is still winning' despite cultural narratives suggesting otherwise, citing biblical favor and the enemy's attack on the family.
• Divorce and God's Way [00:16:33 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor claims marriage works 100% of the time when done God's way, contrasting Christian and non-Christian divorce rates and using an analogy of a plane with one wing.
• Marriage Readiness and Maturity [00:20:15 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that marriage requires maturity, not just age, and asserts that most people, including those in the church, are not ready for marriage because they lack self-control and the ability to submit.
• Biblical Context of [1 Corinthians 7](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Corinthians+7&version=KJV) [00:21:24 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor corrects a common misinterpretation of 1 Corinthians 7:9, explaining that Paul's 'better' option is actually staying single, while marriage is a concession to prevent lust, and self-control is the 'best' option.
• Submission in Marriage [00:31:11 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor emphasizes that submission in marriage must be mutual ('submit to one another') and rooted in reverence for Christ, arguing that inability to submit to a flawed human partner indicates unpreparedness for marriage.
• Culture vs. God's Design [00:19:06 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor contrasts cultural definitions of relationships with God's design, warning that relying on culture leads to divorce and that believers must imitate God instead.
• Mutual Submission and Readiness [00:32:13 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that inability to submit to a flawed human being indicates unpreparedness for marriage, defining submission as co-equal partnership rather than domination.
• Breaking Generational Cycles [00:35:14 ▶️ 📄]
  > He urges listeners to interrupt toxic patterns inherited from their upbringing by actively practicing apology and respect, rather than replicating past abuse.
• Safety and Respect in Marriage [00:40:49 ▶️ 📄]
  > He identifies safety as the woman's primary need and respect as the man's primary need, explaining that these are prerequisites for mutual submission and intimacy.
• The Role of the 'Helper' [00:42:26 ▶️ 📄]
  > He redefines the biblical concept of 'ezer' (helper) not as subservience, but as a co-beside solution to a man's deficiencies, emphasizing esteem and partnership.
• The Role of the Helper [00:48:13 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor explains that 'helper' (ezer) is a term of esteem used for God, indicating women are the solution to men's problems and co-beside helpers.
• Death to Self in Marriage [00:50:36 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that marriage requires daily dying to one's own will, preferences, and desires, citing Ephesians 5 and Galatians 2:20 as models for husbands.
• Sacrifice and Transformation [00:56:04 ▶️ 📄]
  > Using the Genesis 2 narrative of the rib, the pastor illustrates that what a man sacrifices (apology, fidelity, etc.) can be transformed by his wife into something greater, like a home or children.
• The Power of Words [00:58:38 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor warns that harsh words cause lasting damage and that husbands must control their speech to avoid hurting their wives, linking it to the need for a contrite spirit.
• Covenant vs. Contract [01:00:03 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor distinguishes marriage as a blood covenant (permanent, sacrificial) rather than a contract (conditional, easily broken), using historical and biblical examples.
• Self-Love and Readiness [01:02:48 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor asserts that one cannot love a spouse beyond the level they love themselves, warning against self-destruction and emphasizing the need for internal healing and self-acceptance.
• Self-Love and Readiness for Marriage [01:03:33 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that self-love is a prerequisite for loving a spouse, citing Ephesians 5 and warning that self-soothing behaviors damage the self and thus the potential relationship.
• The Mystery of Marriage [01:05:53 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor defines marriage not just as a union of two people, but as a 'great mystery' and illustration of Christ and the church, requiring trust in God's mystery rather than total human understanding.
• Divine Healing and Restoration [01:08:23 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor prays for both singles and married couples, asking God to 'reverse engineer dysfunction' and heal hearts, emphasizing that transformation comes through understanding and the Holy Spirit.

• Sermon Illustration [00:12:18 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor shares a personal anecdote about his wife putting her hand on his head, causing him to feel the anointing, and the joy of seeing their children resemble him.
• Sermon Illustration [00:17:12 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor uses an analogy of a plane ride to Hawaii with only one window to illustrate why people shouldn't enter relationships with those who lack godly care, comparing it to refusing a plane with one wing.
• Sermon Illustration [00:16:57 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor uses an analogy of a plane ride to Hawaii with only one window to illustrate the absurdity of entering a marriage with someone who does not display godly care, comparing it to flying on a plane with one wing.
• Sermon Illustration [00:33:27 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor shares a personal anecdote about his own mother being abused in a household where the father was the provider, using this to challenge the idea that a man providing financially makes him a 'good man' or a healthy role model for marriage.
• Sermon Illustration [00:45:36 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor shares a personal anecdote about his wife, Natalie, who worked at Mac Cosmetics making $14 an hour. During dates at Cheddar's, she would discreetly hand him her credit card under the table to pay, signaling her respect for his role as provider and her support for his vision, which made him feel valued and safe to lead.
• Sermon Illustration [00:52:05 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor uses the analogy of a couple planning their day the night before, only to have plans canceled or changed the next morning, to illustrate the constant need for adaptability and 'dying' to one's own plans in marriage.
• Sermon Illustration [00:55:30 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor references the Genesis 2 account of God sewing Adam's flesh back up after taking the rib, illustrating that marriage involves a literal 'cut' or sacrifice that results in a new creation.
• Sermon Illustration [01:00:23 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor describes historical covenant rituals where blood was shed and hands pressed together to symbolize a permanent bond, contrasting this with modern 'contracts' that are easily broken.
• Sermon Illustration [01:03:42 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor uses the analogy of how one treats their own body (what they eat, what they watch) as a metric for self-love, arguing that self-soothing behaviors are actually self-damage. He also references the biblical picture of Adam and Eve walking in the garden as the ideal model for marriage.
• Sermon Illustration [01:12:38 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor shares a personal testimony of his past struggles with being a 'liar, manipulator, addicted to pornography' and how God transformed him into a 'progressing man' through the covenant of Jesus, using this to illustrate the power of salvation and transformation.

• Pastoral Charge [00:12:53 ▶️ 📄]
  > Write down the statement 'Marriage is still winning' as a counter-cultural truth.
• Pastoral Charge [00:17:12 ▶️ 📄]
  > Reject relationships with individuals who do not display godly care, using the analogy of refusing a plane with one wing.
• Pastoral Charge [00:16:21 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor commands the congregation to record the teaching on marriage.
• Pastoral Charge [00:19:06 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor commands the congregation to record the principle regarding cultural vs. divine design.
• Pastoral Charge [00:29:31 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor provides a specific prayer script for the congregation to use when dealing with anger and conflict.
• Pastoral Charge [00:36:33 ▶️ 📄]
  > The congregation is called to pursue personal and communal healing from generational trauma and abuse.
• Pastoral Charge [00:45:21 ▶️ 📄]
  > Wives are called to honor and respect their husbands, and husbands are called to ensure their wives feel safe.
• Pastoral Charge [00:49:01 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor commands the congregation to praise God for the creation of women as the solution to man's problems.
• Pastoral Charge [00:57:29 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor commands men to actively sacrifice things (like apologies or fidelity) not because they are wrong, but to make their wives feel safe.
• Pastoral Charge [00:59:39 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor commands men to physically hold back their words when angry to prevent decades of repercussions.
• Pastoral Charge [01:01:53 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor commands the congregation to mature and put away childish behaviors to be ready for marriage.
• Pastoral Charge [01:07:58 ▶️ 📄]
  > Individuals desiring marriage are invited to receive a specific prayer for wisdom and preparation.
• Pastoral Charge [01:08:23 ▶️ 📄]
  > Married couples experiencing tension or dysfunction are invited to receive prayer for unity and the 'reverse engineering' of their marital issues.
• Pastoral Charge [01:09:10 ▶️ 📄]
  > The congregation is physically instructed to lift their hands as part of the corporate prayer and worship moment.
• Pastoral Charge [01:12:58 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor initiates a call to salvation/covenant-making, inviting listeners to accept Jesus and be included in the moment of destiny.

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:00:00] What's going on family I'm so grateful that you joined us because today is gonna be a day of encouragement transformation and hope and this is so exciting because we are about to see God do something amazing in all of your relationships before we get in the message today I want to tell you about something that we are so excited about around here Easter Sunday on April 5th we are celebrating that the Sun is coming no matter how dark it is in your
[00:00:29] situation, I want you to join us right here because it's going to get brighter. If you're driving, flying, come on in. We're going to celebrate. The other thing I want you to know is that Ransom is going to be an online exclusive premiere that starts on Good Friday. Now, if you've
[00:00:47] never seen Ransom, you are missing out. Where have you been? This is a time for you to gather your family and see the greatest love story ever told. You're going to laugh, you're going to cry,
[00:00:57] you're going to dance and you're going to see what Jesus did to pay for each one of our ransom.
[00:01:02] And guess what? You don't just get to see it on Friday. You get to see it on Saturday and Sunday night as well. So gather all your people and see what God does as he paid our ransom. Last thing
[00:01:13] I'm going to tell you is if you're in the Tulsa area on Saturday, join us for the Easter egg extravaganza. We're going to the downtown Guthrie Green and we want you to bring your whole family
[00:01:23] and see what God can do with community.
[00:01:26] All right, now it is time for today's message.
[00:01:30] And I'm telling you, if you've been walking with us and rocking with us in this entire series, it is transformational.
[00:01:38] If you need to figure out if you're ready for marriage, I wanna tell you today's title.
[00:01:43] You ain't ready, cause marriage is for the mature.
[00:01:47] I'll see you on the other side.

[00:01:49] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_00]
[00:01:49] Who's ready for the word?

[00:01:54] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:01:54] I love when I know what I'm about to preach and you don't, and I love how I know it's going to transform you because it's transformed me, but I know that it's going to be some truth that we all
[00:02:08] got to swallow. And so I'm going to help us walk into this because we are in week five of a series that we are calling relationship goals. Help me in real life. How many people want good relationships
[00:02:22] in real life. Not the ones you post about, not the ones that everybody's talking about. I'm talking about good relationships in real life, not just romantic relationships. I want my business partnerships to be AOT. I want my relationship with everybody. I want the relationship with
[00:02:40] my mechanic. That's a relationship that is undervalued. If you get a good mechanic that's loyal, some of y'all don't know what's happening, but wait till your car, wait, wait. What's another relationship that's undervalued. Yo, barber. That, a barber can take your whole month out.
[00:03:03] I mean, one Z, oh, in the house. What, what, somebody else said one. What's, you're what? You're plumber. Yeah. Yes. What'd you say? Teachers, therapists. Oh, that's a good one.
[00:03:22] Your relationship with your dentists. Some of y'all don't got one. You need one.
[00:03:29] relationships it's how life works yet most of us either avoid them mess them up or we get in so many we don't know which ones have value come on if everybody's on the same relational value system
[00:04:01] we don't know who actually gets what's necessary to build how many people have wasted time energy on a relationship that was not actually good for your future okay all right so we're in the room
[00:04:15] if we if it was just me and you talking i would ask you are you still in relationship with them no raising hands don't raise hands don't raise hands look at me because the truth of the matter
[00:04:29] is so many relationships stay around longer than they're supposed to longer than they're assigned and many people feel guilty because of watch this time served well that's my dog that's been my dog You know what I'm saying? Nobody know me like them. And that's keeping you from becoming the
[00:04:49] version you know you're supposed to be. And so today I'm just coming to bring all of us into the same room today because I want to tell you what the goal of relationships are. Here's the
[00:05:01] goal right here. Okay. What is the relationship goal? Said it first week. I'm going to say it again. The goal is healthy relationships. That's the goal. That's what God wants for every person.
[00:05:13] healthy relationships and then healthy relationships come from what healthy individuals your relationship with somebody else is predicated on the toxicity you bring to it or the purity you bring to it and most times all of us are trying to blame the other person
[00:05:37] for the relationship friction problem issue but the truth of the matter is two people are bringing something to it so if you are not healthy as an individual you cannot have healthy relationships okay i'm just setting the groundwork healthy individuals watch this are built through here
[00:05:57] are two things everybody has to be self-awareness and surrender there are so many people just don't know what's going on on the inside and how it comes out on the outside and then there's other
[00:06:13] people who know and don't want to change it. And those two things are necessary for any thriving relationship, self-awareness and surrender. Last point right here, self-awareness and surrender are the substance of a healthy soul and everybody needs a healthy soul. And that means you have to
[00:06:36] value being self-aware and actually walking in surrender. So there are two groups of people in here that if they don't have healthy relationships, you're either unwilling or unaware. Which one are you? Are you unwilling to give up the toxicity because it's trending? Are you unaware that it's
[00:07:00] happening? Are you unaware every time you text where you at? That's an innocent question if you wasn't crazy you understand what I'm saying you text where you at 32 seconds ago and now there's 40 where you at texts and they were on the toilet and they do you understand what I'm saying and now
[00:07:26] you're explaining now you've created this whole image and narrative and they cheating on me I knew it was cheating now you at the job walking in making it hard for somebody to bring a paycheck
[00:07:39] home. Why? Why are you? Cause you're on, you're unaware that there, you don't, you have trust issues. This could be anywhere, but, or, you know, you have trust issues and you're unwilling to change them. Okay. The reason I want everybody to come into this is because a lot of the things
[00:08:01] I want to share with you today, they can't actually be applied in your life. If you're still unwilling and unaware. I can tell you about everything that God says, but if you're unwilling to accept it or you're unaware that you might need it, you literally sit here and it doesn't
[00:08:19] change you at all. That's why some people be up here crying like, oh God, or some people like, I know what to do. I'm going to go change something. And some people like, I need to
[00:08:28] go somewhere where I can get fed. Oh yeah. Because the truth of the matter is God was trying to speak to you, but you were unwilling to hear it or unaware that it applied to you. This is why I
[00:08:41] always ask Holy Spirit, what are you trying to say to me? They can be talking about any, they can be talking about getting dogs saved. The message could be all dogs go to heaven. And my heart is
[00:08:53] Holy Spirit, what are you trying to say to me? Father God, I know he's talking about Rufus, but is there anything in there? The reason I'm saying this is because if your heart is not open,
[00:09:06] it doesn't matter what god tries to pour in it gets wasted and i'm giving some relational gems today that is going to change your life but i just don't want you to waste it not for my sake because
[00:09:21] if i had this if i got this it would have transformed my life in different seasons and that's why i want your soul to prosper third john chapter one verse two it says beloved i pray that
[00:09:32] you may prosper in all things. Somebody say all things and be in health just as your soul prospers. Your mind, will, and emotion should be the barometer of everything else prospering in your life. And that's why I told everybody the second week of this series, soul health is more
[00:09:54] valuable than material wealth. I've known people that have committed suicide with a billion dollars in the bank. Money doesn't do it. Houses doesn't do it. Square footage doesn't do it. Nothing does it because if your soul is empty, if your soul has a hole in it, nothing else matters. That's
[00:10:15] why I want you to get healthy. Everybody just say this word, say healthy. Where in your life are you not healthy? Y'all see how quiet it is? The reason it's quiet right now is because
[00:10:28] everybody knows immediately where they're not healthy. Now we ignore it. We build temples around it. We, we try to act it. We know I'm embracing myself. I love myself. I'm doing okay.
[00:10:39] Stop. What you're really saying is I'm unhealthy and I'm unwilling to change that. The reason I'm bringing this up is because today I'm talking about marriages. Okay. I'm talking about marriages and I need you to help yourself by helping me because some of us are going to have to be
[00:10:59] willing to look at this differently than we have ever looked at it to be able to get what God has for us in the relationship. And all my single people hear what I'm saying to you. You need to
[00:11:09] listen closely because if you desire to have relationships the way God designed, this message is going to really, really help you, but you got to be whole in your soul. Okay. So my first point
[00:11:25] today, as I start talking about marriage, marriage is still winning. I don't care what nobody say.
[00:11:34] Y'all can listen to culture. You can listen to these people out here. They might be struggling and some stuff but listen me and my wife was talking the other day ain't nothing like marriage ain't nothing like somebody be able to see all of you and still be like i choose you even with this
[00:11:55] even with that yeah i can't stand your breath but i kind of like it like i'm talking about i'm talking about somebody being where the married people can i get some backup in here ain't nothing pastor Dion ain't nothing like ain't nothing like it ain't nothing like coming home and
[00:12:18] my wife putting her hand on my head and I feel the anointing ain't nothing like looking at your kids that y'all created and being like they just like you they just like you there's nothing like being
[00:12:36] able to go through something and make it through it and know that it wasn't nobody but you that person than God that knows actually what it took to get through this. Somebody that's married that
[00:12:53] knows, say, ain't nothing like it. Marriage is still winning. You need to write it down as a point. The reason I'm saying this is because culture is trying to make you think that somehow it might be better for you to be alone. Now, there are people who have been gifted by God and called
[00:13:14] to be alone. When he's asking for that call from me, I just didn't answer the phone because the Bible gives too many examples. And listen, let me tell this. I don't care how old you are either. There is still hope for you to be in a loving, thriving relationship. I'm telling
[00:13:36] you right now, marriage is still winning. And the reason I'm saying this is because I have to represent what the enemy, watch this, is trying to tear down. Anything that God says is the illustration or the picture of his love for his church, guess what the enemy is going to try to
[00:13:59] attack? That thing right there, which is marriage. And now people are making up, and I mean, since the invention of podcasts, we have people who have never been in a committed relationship telling people why they shouldn't be married. We have people that have multiple wives.
[00:14:16] but can't keep one set of keys let me just give you a few scriptures marriage is still winning proverbs 18 22 he who finds a wife finds a good thing watch this and obtains favor from the when
[00:14:35] you get a wife there's another level of favor that come to your life when me and natalie got married i thought i had access to god before but when me and natalie got married there was things
[00:14:47] that opened up to me i said girl thank you because that was all you favor comes from the lord proverbs 31 10 a wife of noble character who can find one of them she is worth more than rubies
[00:15:03] see y'all don't understand because y'all ain't never seen a ruby but it's a fine precious metal it's i mean a a rock that actually turns into a treasure god is saying that if you can find a wife
[00:15:16] with character that's more precious than any type of treasure that you would find watch this Hebrews 13 4 marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure now this is the two things I want to say right there this is why you don't talk about nobody's marriage
[00:15:36] because the bible says that marriage should be honored by you don't know all the details you have no clue what's going on you might have heard what it is you pray for them you believe
[00:15:53] that god if there's anything you can help y'all dealing with a financial you need a mattress we got an extra one you try to help people who are because the enemy has an all-out attack
[00:16:03] against the family so if he can kill the marriage watch this by default he damages all the children some of you are needing prayer right now not from what you did but from what your parents did to you
[00:16:21] okay it's quiet in here so i'm gonna keep going write this down encouragement for you especially my young people listen to this marriage works a hundred percent of the time when you do it god's
[00:16:33] way i'm gonna say it one more time marriage works a hundred percent of the time when you do it god's way. This is where we can draw context clues. A lot of people who are saved don't do it God's way.
[00:16:49] Non-Christians and Christians have the same divorce rate. Half of them end in divorce.
[00:16:57] I need everybody to hear me. That's like you saying, hey, do you want to go on this plane ride to Hawaii with me? Yeah. The plane only has one window. We're not going. Is there a way to
[00:17:12] drive to Hawaii. I guess we're not going because most people will not get on a plane with one wing yet. They'll get in a relationship with somebody who does not display godly care. They will submit,
[00:17:29] they will take somebody's last name. Do y'all hear what I'm saying? That sounds crazy to me.
[00:17:36] Yet people are doing it every day. Now I'm going to give you that. We got to do it God's way.
[00:17:43] just because you're a pastor doesn't mean you do marriage god's way well if the pastor can't do it he don't listen to god except when he's talking to you he got a word for you don't got no words
[00:17:59] for his wife okay let me stop let me let me help you be careful when they can be at your bedside all the time if a pastor or leader never says no that means they are not taking care of their
[00:18:14] family. Oh God. If Jesus could only have 12 disciples and no wife and still had to withdraw often. I'm sick of y'all. I got to get up out of here. I just need everybody to see that you can
[00:18:31] be working for God and not doing marriage God's way. I know you ain't never heard no pastor say that before, but that's why we be on our second and third and fourth and fifth wives is because
[00:18:46] you can preach what it is but it's a different thing to live what it is okay let me keep going write this down culture cannot define what God designed culture cannot define what God designed
[00:19:06] so I want to just for the rest of this message I got like 35 to 40 minutes I'm gonna walk you through just something that I wish somebody would have told me and I'm gonna tell you the way
[00:19:21] I would talk to myself now with the wisdom I got now to the dummy I was talking to back then y'all got me so this ain't really about you this about me and what I wish somebody would have told
[00:19:36] me when I was at the point of getting married but they needed some more context and I'm gonna give you the context that was missing most of y'all get ready you're not ready the title of
[00:19:55] my message today. You ain't ready. You not ready. You're not ready for marriage. You not. You want to tie the knot? No, no, no, no. You're not ready. You are not ready. Watch this for what it's going
[00:20:15] to take, not just to get married, to stay married. Yes, I am. I got my dress picked out. I know where we're getting. Are we going to be in the line? You're not ready. And today I need to talk to
[00:20:35] you because I need you to understand my first point. Marriage is for the mature. Marriage is for the... That's not an age. I just... Because somebody... I told him he was too young. No, no, no, no, no. Maturity comes with a decision. When I was young, I thought as a child. I talked
[00:20:57] as a child. I played around like a child. But when I grew up, I decided to put away childish things mature people are ready for marriage and most people are not first corinthians 7 9 this is a scripture that i heard all my life as a young man who was attracted
[00:21:24] to the opposite sex and saw myself um hugging them closely but if they can't control themselves they should go ahead and marry because it's better to marry than to burn with lust I really want to stress context when we tell people scriptures because until I got older that's
[00:22:00] what I thought I thought Paul was telling us hey you got lusty thoughts you like that person get married because it's better for y'all to be married than you go to hell sinning and i can't
[00:22:21] tell you how many people's parents have given them that advice well y'all sleeping together y'all shacking up you got four kids it's better for you to get married than to burn sizzle but until i started studying the bible for myself i didn't get the full context of what paul was
[00:22:48] saying right here so i'm gonna give it to you today is that okay let's look at this together let's grow grow in the word first corinthians he's he's responding to a letter of people in
[00:22:58] the church of corinth that are trying to come out of a lifestyle of having sex in the streets and doing stuff all crazy and worshiping all kinds of different gods and they said i'm gonna live
[00:23:08] for god but i don't know how to do this and so they're writing and asking questions so like what about you know we was having sex all the time by you like when we was doing this can we do that
[00:23:17] over here. And Paul is addressing directly this situation. Look at it in verse six, first Corinthians seven, six, Paul going to get real with these people. He say, I say this as a concession, not a command, but I wish everyone was single just as I am because this stuff is
[00:23:34] hard. Yet each person has a special gift from God of one kind or another. So I say to those who aren't married and to widows it's better watch this to stay unmarried just as I am what did
[00:23:55] Paul say the first better was not it's better to get married the first better is it's better to stay single okay y'all missed it it's better to stay unmarried as I am but if they can't
[00:24:10] control themselves, they should go ahead and get married. It's better to marry than to burn with lust. Let me set some context to you. We're going to call this bad, better, more better, and best.
[00:24:27] Bad. Everybody say bad. It's bad to burn with lust. Why? Because it's sin. That's the bad one.
[00:24:37] So he's like, don't end on bad. Because when you burn with lust, it have you jumping in and out windows. You felt that over there. When you burn with lust, you'll be spending money you don't
[00:24:49] have. And let me help all the parents that are like, oh no, my kid's hearing this. They already know. Let me just help you. If your kid is in fourth grade, fourth grade or up, some of y'all
[00:25:04] is in second or third, but fourth grade and up. And if God is not saying, if they're not hearing anything about it from God's house, it's only being defined by culture. My daughter's already you know we already been having the talks all of them except Gia she took G to the little
[00:25:23] why are you saying this because I cannot let anybody else lead my family into the understanding of what they're gonna face it is bad to burn with lust because when you burning you gonna do something to quench it if you on fire you going somebody said stop dropping rolls
[00:25:47] you you got what i'm saying but this is what this is what he's saying but that's not the better thing to do the better thing for us to do is not just do what we want go ahead and get
[00:26:04] married because that's safe he said the bad thing to do is just burn with us and keeps in it the better thing to do get married it's safe but the more better thing to do watch it stay single
[00:26:24] that's smart i know no pastor gonna tell you this because they trying to populate their church by getting you married but i'm tired of doing divorces okay i gotta tell you the real deal because it doesn't matter if y'all walk down the aisle the counseling the abuse the the frustration
[00:26:44] the children that are brought into it we gotta get you helped on the front end it's too much collateral on the back end oh god it's easy to move when it's just you now you got junior junior
[00:26:57] junior junior junior junior and now all of us got them yeah bad everybody say bad burn with lust that's sin everybody say better go ahead and get married that's safe everybody say more better stay single that's smart last one best to develop self-control you never thought that was an option
[00:27:27] you can develop self-control and we know according to galatians that self-control is not self-will self-control is a fruit of the so you want to become everything you got to have the spirit in your life the spirit makes you scroll past the spirit helps you not look again it reminds you
[00:27:53] don't call them it's it's 12 59 nothing good's about to happen here the spirit says go to sleep y'all don't know sometimes the holy spirit go to bed turn the lights out go to sleep turn your
[00:28:10] phone off go to sleep you thought you were gonna stop getting told to go to sleep when you was a kid i'm telling you as an adult go to sleep i love my church why are you saying this pastor mike i
[00:28:26] need everybody to hear me say this i need you to hear self-control is something you're going to have to develop whether you're married or not oh god because most of us don't realize that when
[00:28:40] God's developing something for us in our singleness, he's developing it in us because we're going to always need it. Okay. Ephesians chapter five, that's where we're going to camp out today. And you can go read the whole thing. But if you see this as a actual playbook for you
[00:29:01] to understand, okay, let me just start with best. Let me develop self-control in what I let in my gates and what I eat. Come on. And how I talk to people and how I respond. Let me just develop
[00:29:17] self-control. And I can't do it by just wanting to do better. I have to invite the Holy Spirit in to help me. Holy Spirit, I'm angry right now. And I have a full paragraph ready to say to them
[00:29:31] with a few expletives only for impact though, Lord, so they can feel my heart and the Holy Spirit would be, hey, forgive them. Forgive. Get woozy. Forgive. Pray for them the rest of this day. Lord, don't let lightning strike their car, but just around the vicinity. Hear me.
[00:30:06] Ephesians 5, verse 1. Listen, how are we going to do this? Imitate God. Literally, I could have stopped right here. Imitate God. Therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with, here it is, love. Following the
[00:30:29] example of Christ, he loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.
[00:30:40] Most of us aren't ready because marriage is for the mature. And that means we're going to have to watch, imitate God instead of imitating culture. And most of us have not spent enough time figuring out what God says about relationships to know what to do. So I'm going to give you
[00:31:01] Ephesians 5 for all my married folks and want to be married folks, because this is going to help all of us. Ephesians chapter 5, verse 22. You've probably heard it before, but I'm going to read
[00:31:11] this is for all the wives for wives this means submit to your husbands as to why y'all start groaning why y'all start moaning why oh god here we go again i got you i did it like that on purpose
[00:31:27] because most people never read in context watch this verse 21 everybody starts at verse 22 but it gives us the container in verse which one 21 and furthermore here it is submit to one another
[00:31:49] out of reverence for christ so if anybody ever tells you supposed to submit to me why'd you say you're supposed to submit to me because the container of submission is submission to each other that's enough revelation to help you understand you're not ready for marriage watch
[00:32:13] this. If you can't submit to another person, some of y'all not ready. Look at your neighbor and say, you're not ready. Look at him. Some of them, oh, that's my husband. No, you're ready.
[00:32:26] Look at, the reason I'm saying this is because some people are just not ready to submit.
[00:32:33] You got your own way, your own thing, your own car, your own ring, your own bag, and you're not ready. Because if you're going to come into this level of relationship, you why submit to God no no no baby you have to submit to another person in flesh and blood
[00:32:56] that means they're gonna have flaws that means they're gonna make mistakes that means they're gonna get you wrong they're not gonna do it perfectly and God still says this is a relationship that mirrors me and the church but are you ready to become sub to the mission you're not ready
[00:33:15] because what you have to do is watch this i don't care but i was raised in a house where the man is the man your daddy was toxic just because he provided for you doesn't mean that he was a good
[00:33:27] you can be there and not be healthy come on man y'all better stop or he was a man and when my mama when he just looked that way my mama she was abused oh god y'all not ready for this conversation
[00:33:43] she she she was abused in that household well he ain't never put his hands on her if a man can just go like this and she shrinks can't say what she feels can't lovingly communicate
[00:33:56] and now you're trying to replicate when i say something you hold on wait wait wait does that look like mutual submission does that look like love in first corinthians where it says love is patient love is kind it doesn't keep a record of wrong it's you're not ready pastor
[00:34:25] I'm like, how do I do this? You got to follow. Remember what the top of Ephesians said? Imitate God. I have to imitate God. That means, watch this word, I'm going to have to practice it.
[00:34:38] I don't know why the church feels like everybody is going to get prayed for and then they're just going to be something. Oh, now I can sing. No, you can't. You can't sing. You might have the spirit
[00:34:53] to want to but you need to practice so if you if you have to practice any skill why don't you think you have to practice being kind practice forgiving you came in a household your parents never
[00:35:14] apologized to you that's all you've been waiting for for 35 years it's for somebody to acknowledge what happened to you but because they never did now your kids mom why would you talk to me like
[00:35:27] that. Cause when I say so, and you do, you get to, and you could stop and be like, hold on.
[00:35:35] I can, I can interrupt the generational pattern right here. I could cause transformation. You know what, baby, I'm sorry. I don't even want to make an excuse. You don't deserve that.
[00:35:50] Mommy is sorry for talking to you that way. You still did not do what I asked you to do.
[00:35:55] And we can address that, but I don't have to say it like that. I value you. I value who you are.
[00:36:01] I respect you enough to talk to you like that because what you don't know is you're training them to be verbally abused by a man no that don't hurt me that don't hurt me I can take that because
[00:36:13] they took it from you and now they think it's okay when you can interrupt the cycle how by actually submitting one to another I ain't y'all ain't even ready for the scripture that tells parents not to provoke their kids some of y'all are professional provokers say something say
[00:36:33] something say something if you don't fight your children i'm saying we got to get healed y'all we got to get healed jesus i feel the presence of god right here the reason i'm saying this is
[00:36:59] because somebody needs to understand the truth of god's word even in this moment he wants us to walk in wholeness and into healing and that means all of us got to come to a whole nother level you're
[00:37:18] not ready for marriage and there's some people that are married that wasn't ready and what you're doing right now is you're you're literally dealing with the immaturity of each other in the covenant and that's why it seems hard and let me give you a hope there's hope for you but you're gonna have
[00:37:41] to do work that ain't gonna be by the way oh it's just over time it's gonna get better no it's not you're not ready for the type of work that it's about to take that's i'm like why are you being
[00:37:53] this are you trying to discourage us from getting married kind of no no no i'm like i'm i'm in a i'm in a i'm in a kind of mood right now because i want to let you know i want to let you know that
[00:38:06] every person who brings their toxicity into togetherness will never not be with that person ever again it's called a soul tie maybe in a couple weeks i'm gonna have to talk about it but you're many of us are still carrying around our first relationship you still got that person on
[00:38:35] you the anger the frustration the hurt the abandonment you married to somebody else with them still in the relationship with you pastor mike why is that because until you do the work to figure out how, Holy Spirit, do you let that thing go out of me? All right. Y'all want to play
[00:39:02] church. You're not ready for marriage if you can't submit to another person. It's called mutual submission. The word in the Bible means co-equal parts. This is why it's important that you not be unequally yoked. Does everybody understand what I'm saying? All right. Ladies, can I talk to you
[00:39:25] for a second? I said, ladies. I love doing that. Verse 22, it talks to y'all. It says, for wives, this means submit to your husband as to the Lord, for a husband is the head
[00:39:42] of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. Some of you are so hurt, you can't even hear that sentence. Can your husband be the head? Some of you are wrestling with that right now,
[00:39:59] and i'm okay with you wrestling with it but i need you to realize the design of god was the husband to be they i'm not talking about make more money than you because that's what people it's not make more money than you ball out but but can can he speak
[00:40:21] into that and you listen okay it's quiet in this church as the church submits to christ so wives should submit to their husbands this is hard in everything it's hard to submit when you're safe i mean it's easy to submit excuse me it's easy to submit when
[00:40:49] you're safe husband i need you to understand the woman's greatest need safety if a woman oh y'all Oh, y'all here.
[00:41:05] Oh, she ain't moved all service.
[00:41:08] Oh, okay.
[00:41:11] Clock it, clock it.
[00:41:11] Okay.
[00:41:13] I'll start with that next time.
[00:41:14] All right.
[00:41:18] Fellas, cheat code.
[00:41:21] If she don't feel safe, she will not submit.
[00:41:29] If she doesn't feel safe, she not going to be sexy.
[00:41:34] Oh, I'm trying to give you the real.
[00:41:36] If she does, y'all, I'm going to have to do an uncut with real people because I can't.
[00:41:42] if she doesn't feel safe you're not going to and so this is what i'm telling you a lot of people are in relationships right now where they're coexisting but they're not seeing the greatest version of the relationship because nobody feels and ladies i need to help you the the bible tells
[00:42:09] us in genesis it says the lord god said it is not good for man to be alone so what was his remedy to for for man's first problem for Adam's first problem what was God's remedy he said I'm gonna
[00:42:26] make a helper suitable for him I need everybody to hear me say this the woman's role is to help the man's deficiencies culture has made you start weaponizing his deficiencies well he ain't a man's
[00:42:53] man he not a high value woman it is your job so when that man says i'm standing in this you say baby what do we need to do how do we need to help you unorganized i'm organized you don't know where
[00:43:10] to go i'll make an itinerary it is the woman's anointing it is the woman's design by god to walk into a man's world and say what did you dream up in that head i'ma help it y'all don't hear me
[00:43:30] what did you say i can help that ladies say i can help that y'all got to hear me say this that is your anointing but the enemy has let your hurt stop your help the hurt has stopped
[00:43:54] your help and you are walking out of your design by god trying to protect yourself and fellas it's partly your fault because you don't make her feel safe okay okay I just hope somebody's getting it right now you're not you're not ready to be a husband if
[00:44:11] you cannot make her safe I'm not talking about make sure you have ADT outside in a pit bull that's not what I'm talking about no no I'm carrying no past you know anything crack on can she just share with you how she doesn't feel
[00:44:37] beautiful right now. Girl, stop tripping, girl. You know you fine, girl. You know what I'm saying?
[00:44:43] I don't care, girl. She just needed you to listen. And at the end of that, just say, it doesn't matter how you feel about yourself. How I feel about you is you're beautifully and wonderfully
[00:44:58] made. And whether you have everything or nothing, I'm going to be right here with you. Like, do you hear what I'm saying? Like, hear me, hear me, hear me. What I'm saying is safety is the woman's
[00:45:12] number one need. Ladies, can I give you the cheat code? Honor and respect is a man's number one.
[00:45:21] That's why verse 21, not 22, 21 says we have to be submitted to each other. I'm going to give you respect. I'm going to make sure you safe. I'm going to give you respect. I'm going to make sure you
[00:45:36] safe. When I didn't have no money, my wife worked at Mac Cosmetics and she was making $14 an hour.
[00:45:43] We thought we was rich. And I was trying to get my production career off the ground musically.
[00:45:51] And I was trying to figure out how I'm going to provide and do this other stuff. And so when it came time to go out on dates, one of our cards had some weight to it and the other one of our cards
[00:46:07] could fly away like it had nothing on it and me and my wife would go to cheddars and this is when i knew i we went to pay for the meal and she took her card out and she just handed it to me under
[00:46:23] the table and she put it there and i'm looking it say natalie on it but she all she would say it didn't matter if people so all she was saying is i respect you i see you and i know what your
[00:46:40] vision is and i will know what the plan is and i know we're gonna be okay i see you when that woman slid me that car i've been sliding cars ever since you understand i'm saying just sliding cars here
[00:46:51] here no because when she made me feel respected there's stuff she want to say in front of our friends and stuff like that and she'll be like and what she just did i knew i know it's coming
[00:47:19] in the car. Lord, please believe I know it's coming in the car. But what she wanted to make sure is that she didn't say anything in that moment where I felt this read. All right. They're
[00:47:40] not ready for the rest of this message. Switch me out. Yeah. This thing is trying to fight against me, but we back. All right, here we go. Um, I'll just go to this cause y'all can't take all this
[00:47:52] message so uh no y'all can't no um okay um that word helper God made a helper um just right for him ladies it's it's the original word is azer okay and that word means helper it's used 21 times
[00:48:13] in the bible to describe god he said i'm going to make a god-like figure in a woman and god the holy spirit which is the paraclete is also called the helper he said i'm going to make
[00:48:36] not somebody behind, not somebody away from, somebody co-beside that will be the helper to these people, to these men. And I want you to know, I just wanted to say for you ladies, it's a role, watch this, of esteem. Ladies, you are the solution to his problem.
[00:49:01] you may have never heard it like that but when man had his first problem he created you you were the solution to his problem you should give god some praise right there now so i just want to say this you're not ready for marriage if you're not willing to help
[00:49:23] all right ephesians 5 21 verse 25 husbands fellas i'm gonna try that one more time fellas all right let me talk to you husbands this means to love your wives we get that one oh i love her bro i love her bro she bro okay just as christ loved the church okay i can do that
[00:49:56] let me get some more definition to that and gave up his life for her you can't keep an old life with her. Well, this is how I used to do it. You got to be okay with me and my, you got to die.
[00:50:14] No, you don't get an old life with a new wife. You got to give it up. Can I say it to you how God said it to me? You're not ready for marriage if you're not ready to die. This is what I wish
[00:50:36] somebody would have just said that clear. Marriage is a death daily. Soon as you wake up, I have so many examples literally my my mind got flooded i mean just anybody that's married knows like
[00:51:02] just dying all the time no no i just it literally is like a constant i've never talked to myself so much you're gonna make it mike you're gonna make it you're gonna be all right brother you look at
[00:51:25] another husband just be like if you're gonna do what god okay hold on caveat if you're gonna do it God's way he's telling you up front you about to die yeah bro wake up pick up your cross we're
[00:51:49] about to die today and I'm making it funny but I just I want you to know like if you're not ready to die every day you're not ready for marriage that's why it literally is like you can make a
[00:52:05] plan the night before go to sleep in the same bed wake up the next morning get ready to go execute the plan and they can literally call you and say you know what never mind on that hold on wait
[00:52:19] i've set up i called stuff i moved stuff i did things i yeah we're not gonna do i'm not feeling it okay okay well what are we gonna do i don't know what do you want to do hold on hold on if
[00:52:49] i had the plan yesterday i told you the plan we already like it's i'm telling you if you're not ready to die. The reason I'm saying this, the reason I'm saying this is because marriage is
[00:53:09] for the mature. You have to decide to die daily. And some of y'all not ready to do that. You want what you want so bad that you're willing to overlook the person you made a covenant with
[00:53:21] to get what you want. Do that then by yourself. But if you made this decision, fellas, how are you going to become more like him? Imitate him. Die. What did he do for the church? What did he
[00:53:39] do for his bride? It's death to your will, death to your wants, death to your desires, death to your preferences. I know, I know, I know, I know we're taking down marriages this summer right now, or we're preparing people to actually know what to expect. Okay. Galatians 2 20. Let me
[00:54:11] give you scripture. I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. Imitate him. The life I now live in the body. So my real life, in real life, what I do
[00:54:23] in real life, I live this by faith because I'm walking by faith with this woman, not by sight because they keep changing. I want you to see how practical God is. Hey, what are we going to do
[00:54:37] about this? I don't know. We're going to walk by faith. We're going to figure this out together.
[00:54:40] He said, I walk by faith in the son of God who loved me and gave himself for me. He's reminding in you that you can do this because I already did it. You can love her like that and you can love
[00:54:50] him like that because I already did it for you. Imitate me. Remember when I gave myself, remember I didn't want to do it, but I said, not my will, but your will be. I've shown you how to do this.
[00:55:01] Now you go do it. And if you're not ready to die daily, you're not ready for marriage.
[00:55:07] I am convinced that in Genesis 2 21, when woman was made as the solution to man's first problem, that God could have done it a different way. Y'all know how he did it. He put Adam to sleep
[00:55:22] and cut him and took a rib. How do we know he cut him? It said he had to sew him back up with flesh.
[00:55:30] Y'all don't believe me. Here we go. Genesis chapter two, verse 21. So the Lord God calls the man to fall into a deep sleep. And while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs
[00:55:38] and then closed up the place with flesh. He could have made woman the same way he made man.
[00:55:45] he could have taken dust right next to where he made the man and blown his breath his pneuma into him the spirit woman instead what did he do he said to be an eternal symbol of what man will
[00:56:04] always have to do i'm gonna take something from him he's gotta sacrifice something i'm gonna take his rib and i'm gonna make her out of what he sacrifices which gives me revelation man anything you give up for her she will take that thing and turn it into something you never thought it could
[00:56:28] be that's why you give a wife a woman a house she makes it a home you give that woman a seed she gives you children you give that woman a piece of meat she makes you a meal do you hear what i'm
[00:56:39] saying if you sacrifice some but you're not ready if you give her an apology if you give her a real apology she might turn that into the marriage of your dreams if you would give her fidelity
[00:57:01] and stop keeping them these other hoochies i was gonna say something else so i just said hoochie that felt a little cleaner but don't give them any time don't entertain anything why because if you would get if you would sacrifice something men hear me everything you do is not
[00:57:29] bad it's just not helpful so I know you feel like well dang I just can't win I just always everything I do just hear me some things you gotta sacrifice not because you did something wrong
[00:57:43] because it would make her feel safe I don't know what my life with Christ would look like if he didn't give his life for us think about it if we were doing this whole thing and it was like
[00:58:01] and he was a good man and he just said, follow him. It'd be like, okay. But when you go to that cross and you remember what he gave up for us, it makes you be like, you know what? I can follow
[00:58:18] somebody. Okay. Okay. I got to keep moving. Ephesians chapter five or 26, read the whole thing on your own time. It's good. It says, men, you got to make her holy and clean, washing her
[00:58:32] by cleansing her with God's word.
[00:58:37] Can I say it to you like this?
[00:58:38] You're not ready for marriage if you don't watch your words.
[00:58:44] Say everything that comes to your mind.
[00:58:46] Well, I'm just telling the truth.
[00:58:49] There are some words that I've said that I wish I could jump into a time portal.
[00:58:56] And because once they land, you cannot take away the impact of them words.
[00:59:03] Y'all, I'm telling you, there are more people that have been hurt by words said by their spouse.
[00:59:08] and it takes a lot of vulnerability and a true contrite spirit to heal some of these things some of y'all should just wait a minute till you get control it is no I know y'all love each other
[00:59:27] but as soon as she make you mad you gonna say something that you're going to be seeing the repercussions of for decades and the truth of the matter is you don't have enough patience to wait
[00:59:39] that long to see the transformation you may need to hold your words right now church why why are you saying this because i want to make sure everybody knows like don't just enter this haphazardly the reason that there had to be blood when god made eve is because it was the sign of a
[01:00:03] covenant let me give you another one you're not ready you're not ready for marriage if you think that it's a contract. Marriage, doing it God's way, is called a covenant. What they used to do
[01:00:23] back in the old days is they would take, they didn't have all the wedding bells and the grooms and all that. What they would do is slice a piece of the hand of the bride and slice a piece and
[01:00:34] there would just be enough blood and they would put their hands together because there always has to be blood when there's a covenant being formed. Hence the reason why Jesus had to go to the cross
[01:00:46] and they beat him because he was making a covenant with humanity and he said i'm gonna always be here for you this is my decision we're not getting out of this that's why the vows say till death do us
[01:01:04] part do you mean that because the contract says until you make me mad until i find out some but a covenant says until sickness and health richer or poor good days bad days you're not ready for
[01:01:26] that you don't even keep a cell phone contract a year no way unless you decide I'm gonna put away childish things because marriage is for the mature I'm gonna read the last part of this verse 27
[01:01:53] Jesus gives us this example he did this to present her to himself as the glorious church without a spot or a wrinkle or any blemish instead she will be holy and without fault in the same way husbands
[01:02:10] ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. No one hates his own body, but feeds and cares for it just as Christ
[01:02:30] cares for the church. And we are the members of his body. You're not ready for marriage if you don't love yourself. Some of you are looking for love in that person, but the truth of the matter
[01:02:48] is you don't love you. And the Bible tells us in Mark that you can only love somebody else, your neighbor, to the level that you have figured out how to love yourself. And some of y'all ain't
[01:03:00] real nice to your neighbors. You're not nice to Democrats or Republicans. You're not nice to people who look different than you or vote. Those are your neighbors. You're not nice to people who like certain things or go to a different church. He says, you haven't even figured out. I can tell
[01:03:22] you haven't figured out how to love yourself because you don't like them. So to the level that you figured out how to love yourself, that's the only level you can love somebody else. And I'm
[01:03:33] telling you right now, you're not ready for marriage if you'd have not figured out how to love yourself. This thing said husbands should love their wives as they love their own body.
[01:03:42] I'm not going to get into the details of that, but what I'm saying to you is what you put in your body describes if you love it or not. What you watch with these eyes and put into your brain
[01:03:57] tells me if you love it or not do you hear I know it's good the reason I'm saying this is because there were so many times watch this this is the trick of the enemy to make you self-soothed and
[01:04:13] damage yourself and you say it's not hurting anybody else this ain't hurting nobody else I mean it's just me like this ain't hurting nobody else and God's saying you literally are taking away from the person that matters the most for you to love anybody else you gotta be able to love
[01:04:31] you. That's why I went back to the beginning where I said, your soul, you need to be seen, safe, secure, soothed. It's just, I got to figure out how to love me even if I didn't get that from
[01:04:41] nobody else. And God is the only one that can show me how to do that. So now that I got it from him, now I can stand confident in who I am. And now I can see my mate and see their deficiencies and
[01:04:51] not judge them. That's why love is patient. Love is kind. The reason I can be patient and kind is because I knew what it took for me. But I don't have no grace for you to work on your stuff if
[01:05:01] I've never worked on mine. All I'm saying, church, is most of us aren't ready because you only can love someone else to the level you love yourself. Verse 31, as the scripture say, this is my last
[01:05:19] scripture, a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife. They always say this one at the wedding. They need to say all them other ones at the wedding. I think that's how I'm going
[01:05:28] to do weddings from now on. Dearly beloved, we're gathered here because y'all not ready.
[01:05:33] that's how I think I'm gonna do it I think I'm gonna do it like that said a man leaves his father and mother and joined to his wife and the two are united as the two become say it again the two become it's no longer just you it's no longer just them
[01:05:53] it says this watch this is a great mystery but it's an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one he said this is the picture of what I want the whole world to see on the earth
[01:06:07] so again I say each man must love his wife as he loves himself golly he keeps saying it and the wife must respect her husband because this is mutual submission you're not ready for marriage
[01:06:22] if you don't see the mystery as a miracle he said there's a mystery to marriage well Pastor Mike you said I'm not ready I'm saying like you gotta do everything you can and then trust God for the
[01:06:39] stuff, because there is a mystery to marriage. There's some stuff you'd be like, I want to know everything. And God'd be like, you're not going to know. I'm going to show you. Take my hand,
[01:06:48] woman. Take my hand, man. And we're going to walk together. He's trying to get us back to the picture of Adam and Eve in the garden. That's what marriage should look like. Man and woman
[01:06:58] walking together in the cool of the day with God. God can speak to you, change you. God can speak to him, change him. And we continue to walk together. But there's a mystery that goes along
[01:07:10] with that. I'm praying for this next generation of people who get married, that they would be ready when it's time to get married. I believe in the next 50 years, we can change the divorce
[01:07:27] rate for Christians. I need somebody with faith. We can help, but transformation comes with understanding first. Standing all over this building. God, I thank you. Everybody listen to me real quick. We're about to leave, but if you're in a place where you desire to be married,
[01:07:58] I'm going to pray for the wisdom of God to show you now these are just the points that I pulled out that I had in the time that I had today but there's so much more but I'm going to ask God to
[01:08:11] give you wisdom on how to prepare for the relationship God has for you and then there's a second group I want to pray for for all of those who are already married and there have been
[01:08:23] tensions there have been knots that have been tied around y'all that have just seemed to really stop your forward movement. I'm praying that God is about to allow y'all to get into unity and that
[01:08:38] you're going to be able to watch this reverse engineer the dysfunction. That's what I heard in my spirit. There are some things that has just been like this and you don't know how to get out
[01:08:48] of it. And God's going to buy his spirit. And through these teachings, he's going to help you reverse engineering it. Oh, I do just be talking every time you make me mad. I'm going to start
[01:08:58] being quiet. I'm going to apologize. We're going to go to therapy. We're going to get some new tools. We're going to get in a small group with other married. We're going to get in a tribe with
[01:09:10] other married couples. So we know we're not the only ones going through it. But in isolation, the enemy picks people off. Today, I believe God's going to do a work. Would you lift your hands all over this place? Father, I thank you for those who desire to be married. Father God,
[01:09:29] you've given them a special grace and desire and want and today i just thank you father from the youngest all the way to the oldest i thank you father god that you're about to give wisdom how
[01:09:40] to prepare father i thank you that we will not let culture define what you have designed i thank you that marriage is still winning and i thank you father that it is the picture of what you want
[01:09:56] all people to see here on earth a sacrificial mutually submitted relationship where there is joy and love and peace and legacy and multiplication transformation i pray it over this church i pray it over everybody listening for those father god who are hurting right now and they've stopped
[01:10:16] helping and they've stopped making safe places i thank you for healing the hearts today god i thank you that you would mature all of us so that we can walk into the full measure of what you've
[01:10:31] called our relationships to be father for those who have been married a long time father God but the passion is gone and they haven't seen a spark in a long time God I'm asking you in the name of
[01:10:46] Jesus father God would you help literally reverse engineer the dysfunction the words that have tried to tear down I think that those words are coming out of hearts right now father God that people are forgetting father God even the ramifications of past seasons where there's been infidelity
[01:11:04] father god or hurt or pain father god i'm thanking you father god that you are making all things new father god i thank you that you are revealing and resurrecting father god your grace and mercy
[01:11:17] in marriages right now thank you for the greatest seasons of their lives today god i'm asking you to do a deep work so that we all can live with healthy relationships we need you holy spirit
[01:11:35] we can't do this without you there's some people in here just in the same spirit I feel the presence of God because healing is happening past few weeks we've just been letting God minister to
[01:11:47] people at the altar and letting worship go forth because there's something that's happening and I feel like there's some people that really need personal ministry and so here in just a moment I'm going to have the altar workers come and if you're watching online I just want you to stay
[01:12:00] I want you to stay in this present because you don't move when God's doing heart surgery anytime there's a surgery God's healing marriages even your husband may not be here your wife may not be here but you don't know what God's doing right now the Bible tells us that the faithfulness
[01:12:13] of one spouse can literally save their entire household y'all I'm telling you there are some things that are happening right now that you got to just let God do his work but if you want to
[01:12:24] create a covenant with God today I want you to get into the greatest relationship goal you could have in real life it's a relationship with Jesus and when I talk about a covenant there was blood
[01:12:38] that was shed so that your sins could be forgiven and my sins could be forgiven and he took me when I accepted him from being a liar a manipulator addicted to pornography I had very dark things
[01:12:49] in my heart and he did not make me a perfect man but he made me a progressing man and I'm telling you my life today has transformed and I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world and today I
[01:12:58] want to tell you it's your day of salvation if you're in this room or you're watching online or you're watching in a penitentiary God has aligned everything for this moment of destiny and I'm telling you right now this is your moment on the count of three if you want to be included
[01:13:15] in a prayer that says Jesus I want to make you the Lord of my life I just want you to slip your hand in the air you can do it digitally you can do it in this room you can do it watching on
[01:13:23] rebroadcast if you're at the gym right now or you're in your car I want you to know this is the thing that God is going to recognize in heaven at the moment you decide one you're making the
[01:13:34] greatest decision of your life church I need you to begin to pray because somebody's eternity is in the balance right now two your name is going to be written in the lamb's book of life and your
[01:13:44] eternity is going to be safe and secure if you want to receive Jesus slip your hand in the air three right now I see hands right there I see hands I see hands I see hands I see hands brother
[01:13:54] i'm proud of you i see him come on transformation church there's hands all in the chat glory to god you can put your hand down bro i see you man this is a new day for you this is what i'm going to
[01:14:06] tell you this decision right here changes all the other ones this is a keystone habit this is one that changes everything else and at transformation church we're a family nobody prays alone i feel the presence of god in this place if you would just lift your hand in the international sign
[01:14:22] to surrender and just say, God, come on, everybody. Thank you for sending Jesus to make a covenant with me today. I give you my life. I repent and I turn to you. I believe you live. You died
[01:14:42] and you rose again with all power just for me. Change me, renew me, transform me. I'm yours.
[01:14:54] forever in Jesus name. Can we celebrate all over this place? Amen. Oh, come on. All of heaven is rejoicing right now. You just made that decision. I want you to text save to 828282. Our team is
[01:15:12] going to send you some information. And as the altar workers come right now, I just believe that there's healing coming for people right now. If you need prayer for anything, I feel the presence of god god is about to heal restore he's about to renew i feel the presence of god in the name
[01:15:30] of jesus if you need healing in your heart relationally if you need healing for your marriage this is a beautiful time for you to come i want you to come from all over this place i'm
[01:15:40] telling you right now if there's anything that is going on yeah i want you to come there is no shame for getting prayer there is no shame for asking god to meet you at the point of your need and i
[01:15:50] believe that this week god is going to begin to do something he's going to make you ready come on i'm not i might not be ready but i can get ready come on somebody father in the name of jesus i
[01:16:01] thank you that you are drawing people to your pattern over everything else marriages will live and not die we give you glory relationships will live and not die we give you praise we thank you father for your word coming true we need your holy spirit you are welcome
[01:16:21] here Father do what nobody else can do If you don't have to leave just just take this moment lift your hands all over this place And I just want us to sing Holy Spirit say Holy
[01:16:35] Spirit Come on lift it up come flood if you need prayer come from all over this place God's design for marriage Cannot be defined by anybody else except him and if you're in a place right now where you're saying God
[01:16:54] I want to do it your way. This is the perfect place to be because the Bible tells us that he will give us everything we need to live a godly life. All we got to do is imitate him. Look at him.
[01:17:06] Do it his way. I'm so proud of you. Hey, listen, if you have been blessed by this series and you haven't heard all the other messages, I need you to go back and watch them. There's four other
[01:17:16] messages that I promise that are going to help you win in relationships in real life. And the other thing I'm going to ask you, if this ministry is blessing you in any way, I want you to pray
[01:17:27] about sowing a seed into what God is doing here. We are about to literally touch thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of people on Easter. It takes resources to do that. And because of the
[01:17:38] faithfulness and generosity of so many people, we are able to do it at literally a staggering level.
[01:17:44] But what would happen if everybody did something? So today, if that's you, pray about that. And the ways to give are on the screen. Last thing, share this message with somebody. Transformation starts with invitation. And today I believe that you could be the catalyst to somebody's life being
[01:17:59] changed, not just forever, but for eternity. I love you so much. Until next week, go out and live a transformed life.