Mending the Mess: The Danger of Self-Powered Restoration

• Baptism [00:11:24 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor explains baptism as an outward expression of inward transformation, referencing the Great Commission and the symbolism of being buried with Christ and risen to new life.
• The Gospel's Universality [00:16:12 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor illustrates the gospel's power by comparing a baptism in Anderson, SC, to his recent experience in Thailand, emphasizing that God works the same way globally.
• Marriage and Singleness [00:31:34 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor introduces the topic of building back a broken marriage, while also addressing single, widowed, and divorced individuals, affirming that knowing Christ is the pinnacle of life regardless of marital status.

• Sermon Illustration [00:16:12 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor shares a personal anecdote about his recent trip to Thailand, noting that he saw the same gospel-breaking-through-darkness there as he does in Anderson, SC, to illustrate God's consistent faithfulness.
• Sermon Illustration [00:17:02 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor makes a self-deprecating joke about his absence leading to new faces in the church, joking that he should take more time off, and acknowledges a specific person who laughed at the joke.

[00:06:14] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_05]
[00:06:14] Let's begin by worshiping together. Psalm 33 says that praise befits the upright. So this morning, it fits us to give God praise. We're here for you. Come on, let's sing.

[00:06:40] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:06:40] We're created, suddenly our ticket to south. By Jesus alone, come on church, we sing.
[00:09:23] Well, good morning everyone and welcome. You may take your seats right now.

[00:11:24] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[00:11:24] we are so excited to prepare and celebrate for baptism as y'all know baptism is a huge deal we're so excited so journey with me back to the time of Christ Christ now resurrected and right
[00:11:39] before his ascension after his resurrection he walks the earth for just a sliver of time there's 40 days he walks the earth and during this time he gives the disciples that now 11 disciples some
[00:11:49] great instructions on church and one of the most important moments that is something we know as the Great Commission. It's found at the end of Matthew in chapter 28. He's on a mountain of Galilee,
[00:11:59] and he teaches them this. Go therefore, make disciples, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey all that I commanded. So we get to take confidence. Today as a church, we are carrying on those instructions from thousands of years ago.
[00:12:14] We get to celebrate and carry that on today. As baptism, this is an outward expression of an inward transformation. So as Colby is baptized today, it's very symbolic. It's a beautiful picture of the gospel of being raised and lower in death and our sin, but being risen to new life
[00:12:32] in Christ because of relationship with him. So the beauty of baptism is we get to learn and hear stories. So Colby, we are eager to hear your story today. We would love for you to share with us

[00:12:40] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[00:12:40] right now. Living, growing up has been a lot of struggles, a lot of pain growing up. Recently, has been struggling, then meeting the right people such as Jesse, he's kind of led me to the right direction.
[00:12:59] Met Jesus through him, which has been great.
[00:13:03] Getting baptism today has led me to stability, freedom, and has been amazing.

[00:13:10] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[00:13:10] That's outstanding, Colby.
[00:13:15] Awesome.
[00:13:16] And thank you so much for your part, Jesse, and being a part of his story and discipling him and bringing him to Christ.
[00:13:20] So, Colby, I have a couple of questions for you right now.
[00:13:23] We'd love to share with our congregation today.
[00:13:25] Have you repented of your sin and trusted Jesus Christ alone for yourself?
[00:13:28] Yes.
[00:13:30] Great.
[00:13:30] Do you commit to follow Jesus Christ all the days of your life?
[00:13:33] Yes.
[00:13:34] Awesome.
[00:13:35] I have a question for us now.
[00:13:36] Do we support and encourage Colby as he continues to follow Christ for the rest of his life?
[00:13:41] That's great.
[00:13:44] So with that in mind, Colby, who is your savior and Lord?
[00:13:48] Upon your profession that Jesus Christ is your Lord and savior, we baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
[00:13:56] Buried to Christ in death and risen to new life in Christ.
[00:13:59] That's awesome.
[00:14:05] Praise God.
[00:14:05] Thank you, Colby, for sharing your story.
[00:14:07] Up next, we have Cora here and her mom.
[00:14:16] Good morning, Cora.
[00:14:17] We're excited to hear your story as well.
[00:14:22] We'd love for you to share it with us right now, please.
[00:14:24] Thank you.

[00:14:25] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[00:14:25] He taught me all about help, too, when I went to church.
[00:14:30] I felt like I needed Jesus inside my heart right away.
[00:14:35] My family came to my room and helped me pray, and I felt really happy because I knew I wanted to tell everyone about Jesus in my heart so they could too. Most days are happy, but even when it's hard, God helps me a ton. Today I'm taking one

[00:14:52] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[00:14:52] more step. Praise God. Cora, how old are you? Seven. Seven years old, y'all. Come on. Praise God. All right, Cora, have you repented of your sin and trust in Jesus Christ alone for your salvation? Yes. Do you commit to follow Jesus all the days of your life? Awesome. Congregation,
[00:15:15] do we commit to support and encourage Cora as she follows Jesus all the days of her life?
[00:15:21] Praise God. Cora, who is your Savior and Lord? Jesus Christ. Praise God. Upon your profession that Jesus Christ is your Lord and Savior, we baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Buried with Christ's death and risen to new life in Christ. Praise God.

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_00]
[00:15:44] That's amazing, Tom. Thank you. What a cool thing to see two such distinct stories celebrated in exactly the same way. That there's a story of hardship and difficulty in childhood, and then there's a story of generational legacy going back to grandparents and great-grandparents,
[00:16:03] and that we get to celebrate all of that together. And I'm struck by the reality of the way that that's how the gospel works. Like, I feel like I've been gone for a month. I have been in Thailand.
[00:16:12] land. I landed last Sunday, but what I saw was the same thing we get to celebrate here. The truth of the gospel breaking through and bringing light into dark places, making itself known through people's lives. Like that, that God is doing the same thing 9,300 miles away that he is doing right
[00:16:34] here in Anderson, South Carolina on a Sunday morning. And that's because God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and he has good things for us. So regardless of what your situation is walking in this morning, you might be riding high and everything in life might be great.
[00:16:48] You may be in a season where you're struggling and life is difficult. God has good things for you because he is faithful. His character is faithfulness. And so I just want to tell you how glad I am that you're here to celebrate with us. I see a lot of new faces. I'm gone for a
[00:17:02] couple weeks and like all these new people start coming. That might be a message to me. Maybe I need to take more time off and go away more often. Thank you. One person laughed for me. I appreciate
[00:17:10] that. My boys will make fun of me for making that joke and say nobody laughed, so I'm grateful for that. But my name is Alan. I'm the campus pastor here, and we have this really cool way
[00:17:19] right now of celebrating new people here. We're about to enter into a time where we receive our tithes and our offerings, and the reason we do that is the Bible teaches that we are, as followers
[00:17:30] of Jesus called to bring 10% back, the first 10% of what we earn in any way to the storehouse.
[00:17:39] And so we as followers of Jesus do that. But if you are new, you're not to participate in that because you're not a part of this body. Instead, what we would like to do is give something on
[00:17:48] your behalf. And so this week, because we believe in the power of relationship, we have the opportunity to partner with Anderson Pregnancy Care. And so if you're, there you go. Thank you, Knox. I know that was you. So if you are here for the first time, if you will text new here to
[00:18:04] 30303, we would like to give Anderson Pregnancy Care a gift on your behalf. And so last week, we got to celebrate another nonprofit organization. Next week, we'll be celebrating the Bridge Center.
[00:18:16] And this week, we're honored to partner with Anderson Pregnancy Care. So I'm gonna have you guys stand up. We're about to take our tithes and offerings. If you're new, text new here to 30303 during this time. And if you're a part of this family, then I want you to prepare your
[00:18:33] hearts to give in a way that surrenders to God, what you're not meant to carry, that we can trust him, uh, to provide us everything that we need. And that, that is the reason that we can give
[00:18:45] cheerfully. And so we're going to read a prayer together, knowing that God can do infinitely more through all of us than he could ever do through any one of us alone. Pray this with me now.
[00:18:53] Father, we pause now and remember who you are and how generous and faithful you've been to us.
[00:19:00] All that we have and all that we are belong to you.
[00:19:04] We choose to respond together to your generosity by bringing our tithes and offerings, giving that which was never ours in the first place.
[00:19:14] May you use them to bless others and to carry your hope and light into our communities, nation, and world.
[00:19:21] In Jesus' name, amen.

[00:19:23] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[00:19:23] Let's stir our hearts as we sing together, remembering all of His benefits for us.
[00:19:39] When we bless His name, remember who He is.

[00:19:55] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[00:19:55] Forget His wondrous love.
[00:19:59] The one who came.
[00:20:00] The one who came to save.
[00:20:04] Who loosed the grip of shame.
[00:20:08] And was slain in place of us.
[00:20:15] Giving all our sins, disease.
[00:20:29] Redeemed us from the pit.
[00:20:32] Your grace that has no end.

[00:20:34] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:20:34] Come on, you satisfy the soul.
[00:20:55] Come on, every single voice in the room, sing together.

[00:22:08] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[00:22:08] Praise God.

[00:22:23] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[00:22:23] Praise Him.
[00:22:24] Come on, let's lift that up.
[00:22:37] Praise God.
[00:22:39] Praise.

[00:25:06] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[00:25:06] Benefits is faithfulness.
[00:25:08] Let's just take a second while we're playing some music.
[00:25:11] And every single person in the room, there's been infinite things that He's done for us that we can say thank you for.
[00:25:17] Let's just take a moment, a really quick moment, just one thing in your heart to God or even out loud if you want to.
[00:25:22] We tell him thank you for something that he's done for us before we keep singing.

[00:25:41] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[00:25:41] This is worth, this is worth.
[00:25:58] Who else is worthy?
[00:26:00] There is no, who else is worth?

[00:26:10] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:26:10] Now, Lord Jesus, we just want to join our hearts

[00:29:23] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:29:23] and our voices across the state of South Carolina and people watching literally from all over the world.
[00:29:28] I know of a family right now in Costa Rica that's watching.
[00:29:32] And so we want to just join our faith together.
[00:29:34] And from our own mouths right now, we declare you are worthy.
[00:29:40] you deserve all the glory and all the credit literally for everything. And we declare you are a King of Kings. You are Lord of Lords. And it is our honor today to be in your house with
[00:29:58] your people, to listen to your word, to receive the love of the father, to rejoice in the sacrifice of the Son, and to welcome the presence of the Holy Spirit. So now, beautiful triune, three-in-one Trinity, we welcome you. God, we are yours. Come now, Father, Son, and Spirit,
[00:30:26] and minister to our hearts, and encourage us, and give us the hope to know that we can make it because of what you have done for us and because of who you are. It is with great joy we can say
[00:30:38] so be it in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. High five or shake a neighbor's hand and say welcome to 93% humidity in South Carolina today. Let's praise God for humidity. Let's also give congratulations to the New York Knicks on a big win last night. And I am praying that that anointing comes
[00:31:00] to the Clemson Tigers and the Dallas Cowboys when football season rolls around because that's what really counts.
[00:31:07] Hey, everybody, my name's Clayton King, one of the pastors here.
[00:31:10] Honored to be able to preach today in this series made for relationships.
[00:31:14] If you're joining us for the first time, we're in a series looking at different kinds of relationships through the scriptures.
[00:31:22] And today I get a great opportunity to talk about something that has affected all of us in one way, shape, or form, something that I believe is going to be helpful for you today, biblical and practical. Today,
[00:31:34] we're going to talk about building back a broken marriage, building back a broken marriage. And I wanted to go ahead and get started because there's just so much I want to talk about today from the
[00:31:48] scriptures and so much I believe that the Lord wants to show us when it comes to marriage. Now, if you're not married today, let me go ahead and invite you to listen carefully and lean in.
[00:32:01] Maybe God has called you to be single. And if God has called you to be single, that is a wonderful calling. As we've already talked about, Jesus was single. Paul, at least when we meet him in the New
[00:32:11] Testament, is single. So getting married is not the pinnacle of experience in life. The pinnacle of life is, according to Jesus, John 17, three, to know Christ. Knowing Jesus is the pinnacle of life. And you can do that as a married person or as a single person. And if you are married today,
[00:32:31] I believe this is going to be helpful for you. If you're widowed or you're a widower or you're divorced, we want you to know that this word today is for everyone. We want to be a church
[00:32:42] that helps you find hope, and we are a church where you can come and bring everything that has made you who you are up until this point in your life with you into your relationship with
[00:32:54] Jesus, knowing that Jesus loves you, and that Jesus cares for you, and that Jesus has good plans for you, and he's already died on the cross and shed his blood to save you and give you his
[00:33:05] mercy and pour out his grace upon you. And so today, we're going to understand that it is possible. It is not only entirely possible, but with God, it is probable that you can build back
[00:33:18] a broken marriage. Now you may have come today and your marriage is stressed. Maybe you're strained. Your marriage is not broken yet, but it's beginning to bend a little bit. Or maybe you're here today and you're like, man, my marriage is great. We're hitting on every cylinder. We're
[00:33:35] communicating. We're in a sweet spot in marriage right now. And so I want to go ahead and fast forward to the end of our gathering for our response time, I'm going to invite married couples or maybe even single people today. When we begin to respond in about a half an hour from
[00:33:51] now, I'm going to invite you, if you would, to go ahead and open up your heart to the Holy Spirit.
[00:33:58] And maybe some of you need to just take a short little walk to the altar today. And you just need to ask God for help. Whether your marriage is a hundred out of a hundred, or you don't even want
[00:34:10] to grade your marriage because you're so scared of what might be on the horizon, there's hope for you today. Because as we've been talking about in this series, we know that a relational God makes relational people. God is a relational God. God exists in relationship. Even in my opening
[00:34:29] prayer. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Not only does God exist in relationship with himself in the Trinity, but God wants a relationship with you. He is a relational God, and he created a relational people. But relationships have one big problem. Us. Some of y'all came to church
[00:34:53] with your problem today. Some of you, your spouse came to church with his or her problem today.
[00:34:59] the problem is us. We are broken, sinful people. We are selfish. We are narcissistic. We are stubborn. We get things wrong. We say things we regret. And so I want to let you know that today,
[00:35:13] if your problem is your marriage, or if you've already checked out, or if you are on the other side of a divorce and you find yourself wondering what went wrong, or maybe you are thinking about
[00:35:26] separation, or maybe today you've already begun to emotionally disconnect from your spouse, and you've already got a plan. You're looking for a loophole, or you're looking for an escape hatch from your marriage. I want to tell you today that your marriage can be fixed. It can. There is hope
[00:35:44] for your marriage today. It can be fixed. No matter how broken or helpless you might think it is, there is hope for you if you are willing to listen, and if you're willing to put in the work.
[00:35:56] And something recently has happened to me that I would like to use as an illustration to show you that this mindset, this heart posture is really the thing that can help your marriage be fixed.
[00:36:08] I am going through something right now that is requiring some fixing in my life.
[00:36:13] I am 53 years old.
[00:36:15] I have spent millions of miles sitting on airplanes.
[00:36:20] I have spent thousands of nights sleeping in hotel beds.
[00:36:24] I have wrecked four-wheelers. I have crashed dirt bikes. I played tackle football for 18 years. I ran on hard surfaces for over 20 years. Back in the 1900s, I used to jump off of cliffs into pools
[00:36:41] of water and think that that was fun. Can I show you a result of all the fun I've had? Look at my beautiful spine. That is an MRI of my lower back. Now, for some of y'all that are, I'm not going to
[00:36:56] say old, but classic and vintage, you notice what that is up there. You see that red circle. Well, if you look up top, that joint, the big, the big cushy one, that's what your spinal joints are
[00:37:09] supposed to look like. Some of y'all are physical therapists or trainers or maybe chiropractors or medical doctors. When you look down at that very low one, the bottom one, you can see on the right
[00:37:18] inside. I have a bulging disc. You can also see how the coloration of that one is much, much darker and it's much thinner. That's basically a spine sandwich right there. I have severe decompression.
[00:37:32] I have some early arthritis and I am now having to address this. So I went and got the MRI and I sent it to several chiropractors and physical therapists. Even one of my best friends
[00:37:45] who is in the room today. And four different people looked at that. And I got these kinds of responses. How do you wake up and walk in the morning? Why are you not in a wheelchair?
[00:37:54] And how much pain medicine do you take every day to survive? And I don't take any pain medicine.
[00:38:00] I guess I'm just trying to tough it out. But now I realize if I want to avoid major spinal surgery, I've got to address this. So I am now going to a doctor and that doctor is strapping me to a high
[00:38:12] tech medieval torture device. And, and they're decompressing me. They're pulling me apart in half like this. But when the doctor who is giving me the spinal decompression treatments was telling me how I was going to have to fix my back, he said, you can't take a pill to fix this. You can't show
[00:38:32] up one time to fix this. This is going to take work. This is going to take time. I'm here to help you. But if you will do what I tell you, you can be pain-free. What does that look like, doc? He
[00:38:43] said, you're going to have to get up every morning and get in the floor. And you're going to have to do these stretches and it's going to hurt. And then you're going to have to get in the floor
[00:38:50] at night before you go to bed. And you're going to have to do these stretches and this kind of therapy, and it's going to hurt. But if you will trust the process and listen to me, you will get
[00:38:59] better. On the day that I had that MRI that you just saw taken, my pain level was nine out of 10 in the last, that was seven weeks ago. Today, standing here on the stage right now, thank you,
[00:39:08] Jesus. And thank you, medical doctors. And thank you, therapy. And thank you, medieval torture device. My pain right now is about a one out of 10 standing here. Praise God. It can be fixed.
[00:39:22] Your marriage can be fixed if you will address it. And if you'll let somebody who knows more about your marriage than you do help you. And that is where we start today with this big idea
[00:39:36] that you and I need to believe that God believes in your marriage. Believe that God believes in your marriage. He does. God believes in your marriage. Marriage is not a cultural construct.
[00:39:53] Marriage is not the patriarchy trying to beat women down.
[00:39:58] Marriage is not evil.
[00:40:00] It is not discriminatory.
[00:40:02] Marriage is not a place of pain and suffering.
[00:40:05] Marriage was God's idea in the beginning.
[00:40:08] He created marriage so that marriage could create more human beings who would bear his beautiful, perfect image in the earth and make his glory known to the nations.
[00:40:19] Marriage was God's idea.
[00:40:20] And if you believe that God believes in your marriage, it will help you as you glorify God in that most primary of all relationships.
[00:40:30] I'm gonna double down on this from Matthew 19 because Jesus is asked a trick question by the religious wingnuts of the day, the Pharisees.
[00:40:39] These guys are looking for a loophole.
[00:40:41] They wanna trap Jesus because the law then was that a man, now get this, a man could serve his wife divorce papers and he could divorce her for any reason.
[00:40:54] They were already doing it.
[00:40:56] It was already legal.
[00:40:59] They are now trying to trap Jesus by asking him a question about marriage and specifically divorce.
[00:41:04] Matthew chapter 19, verses three through six.
[00:41:09] So it says, some Pharisees approached Jesus to test him and they asked, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?
[00:41:19] Trick question.
[00:41:20] it was already lawful. They were already doing it. Jesus responded very clearly. Haven't you read, in other words, go back to the scripture. You're the professionals when it comes to the Bible.
[00:41:33] Go back and read the Bible. You know what it says. Haven't you read that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female, two genders, only two genders, two is enough.
[00:41:44] And he made them male and female. And he had a design behind that. And when he made them male and female, he said, for this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his
[00:41:56] wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. And then Jesus, fully human and fully God, adds his own commentary to what God said in the garden.
[00:42:14] and listen to what Jesus says.
[00:42:17] Therefore, since God designed this, since God desired this, since God created marriage, since God believes in your marriage, since God wants men and women to be together, one flesh, what God has joined together, let no one separate.
[00:42:37] Believe that God believes in your marriage.
[00:42:39] This is not just an afterthought for God.
[00:42:42] This is not just something that kind of naturally happened as cultures evolved. God believes in your marriage. Your marriage, your future marriage, your marriage is not just a civic union. It's not just a justice of the peace or a pastor at an
[00:43:04] event space that pronounced you man and wife, you may kiss your bride. It's more than a legally binding contract. Marriage is a covenant between two people and God. Marriage is holy. It's set apart. Marriage is a big, big deal. Living together is not a covenant. Cohabitation is not
[00:43:28] a covenant. The culture says hook up, break up, repeat. Sometimes shack up. Hook up, shack up, break up, repeat. But you know what God says? There's a better way. There's a holy way. There's a way I designed you to be with each other. The culture says marriage is not, it doesn't work
[00:43:52] anymore. Don't bother. Don't bother with marriage. You know what God says? Marriage is not a bother.
[00:43:58] Marriage is not a problem. Marriage is a blessing. Even when it's hard, and even when you want to quit, and even when you get so mad at your spouse, sometimes you wonder, how could Jesus even love
[00:44:09] this person? Marriage is a blessing. It's not a bother. It's not something to be avoided. It's not something to be shunned. It's actually a good, good thing. So when you say I do, it's not just
[00:44:22] the two of you that are horizontally connecting to each other. It's the two of you vertically connecting to God and allowing God to bless your marriage. So if your marriage today feels broken and you want it to be blessed, the first step to finding that blessing is a mindset. It's a heart
[00:44:41] posture to say in your heart, I actually believe that God believes in my marriage. Now science is catching up to the fact that marriage is a blessing and that God created it. Harvard did an
[00:44:56] 88-year study. Let that sink in for a minute. 88 years. They followed thousands of couples and single people. And then this 88-year study from Harvard, they found out that the greatest marker of life fulfillment and happiness was not financial security. It was not career advancement.
[00:45:22] it wasn't achievement and success in your career path. It wasn't losing weight. It wasn't even living a long life as far as age goes. The number one marker of happiness and overall fulfillment in life was close relationships with humans. And that's one of the reasons why we want you to be
[00:45:43] gathered here on a Sunday with the people of God, shoulder to shoulder with your brothers and sisters, so that whether you are single or unmarried or never married or divorced or widowed or from any age or walk or stage of life,
[00:45:54] you are with your brothers and your sisters experiencing the family of God, those close relationships.
[00:46:01] But among those close relationships, they found that people who had strong marriages, especially those that went to church, they were the happiest.
[00:46:09] Believe that God believes in your marriage.
[00:46:12] And if that's the only thing you'll take away from today, you have taken away biblical gold that will give you hope that wherever your marriage is today, it's not over.
[00:46:22] There is hope for you.
[00:46:24] And if you believe that God believes in your marriage, it'll actually give you the courage, it'll give you the energy to fight for each other and not with each other.
[00:46:35] Fight for each other, not with each other.
[00:46:38] I bet if I took a survey today of all 13 of our campuses and people watching online, it would be a surprising percentage of us that had a fight with our spouse today before coming to church. Have you ever noticed that some of the biggest fights you have
[00:46:51] are on the Lord's day when you're trying to get your Bible and get dressed up and go to church and lift your hands in worship to God? Listen, the devil is against your marriage, but God is not.
[00:47:04] Satan is already trying to destroy your marriage. Satan is already trying to rip the two of you apart. Satan is already trying to tempt you and wreck what God has put together. So let's not
[00:47:14] do the devil's work for him in our marriage. Just don't. Your spouse is not your enemy.
[00:47:21] And if you think of your spouse as your enemy, it's going to be really, really hard to have a marriage that honors the Lord. But when you think about your spouse as your best friend, your
[00:47:30] teammate, y'all are a team. We're a team. Shari and I have to fight for each other and not with each other. And I want to show you how that plays out practically when Peter writes these words in
[00:47:42] 1 Peter chapter 3. Peter actually instructs how one way that wives can fight for their husbands and one way that husbands can fight for their wives practically. Now there's more than this, but let me show you a few examples here. He speaks to the wives first, 1 Peter chapter 3
[00:47:58] verses 1 through 2. In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, And I'm gonna explain to you, he explains to us why that's important. If some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live when they observe your pure,
[00:48:24] reverent lives. So Peter is instructing wives, here is a way you can fight for your marriage because specifically in this example, some of these Christian women were married to non-Christian husbands. And if you read this in the original Greek, it literally gives this clear presentation
[00:48:45] that these are unbelieving husbands. So you've got believing wives. Remember, the gospel is brand new. This is literally first generation of the gospel. So you've got first generation Christians being saved out of pagan Roman Greek culture, where debauchery was normalized, where men had
[00:49:03] wives at home that raised the kids and cooked the meals, and then mistresses that gave them sexual pleasure outside the home. And so when Peter writes to the wives and says, if you're a believing
[00:49:13] wife, submit yourself to this process. You're in a covenant marriage with a husband that's not a Christian. So don't bail out on that marriage and just give up and write it off. That's not an
[00:49:24] excuse for you to quit. I want to encourage you to live your life for the glory of God in such a way that your husband cannot deny the difference he sees in you. And some of us have learned that
[00:49:38] marriage. We very seldom ever change our spouse by talking them in to be in the person we wish they could be. Can anybody say a hearty ouch to that? Have you tried that one? That one doesn't
[00:49:49] work. But what does change a person is the spirit of God on the inside or the testimony of a believer. And he instructs the wives, your unbelieving husbands can be one to the faith when they see you fighting for your marriage by simply living out your faith. And then he goes
[00:50:07] on to verses seven and nine, seven through nine, and he instructs the husbands how they can fight for their marriage. Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way as with the weaker partner, showing them honor as co-heirs of the grace of life so that your
[00:50:28] prayers will not be hindered. And finally, all of you, husbands and wives, be like-minded, sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble, not paying back evil for evil or insult for insult, but on the contrary, giving a blessing since you were called for this
[00:50:44] so that you may inherit a blessing. Listen to his instruction to husbands. Husbands, do not treat your wife like property. Do not treat your wife like she is inferior to you.
[00:50:57] Now he's talking to Christian husbands. In that culture, this is so important to understand, Women and children were considered weak and less valuable than men. And so here comes the gospel.
[00:51:11] Jesus dies on the cross. Jesus esteems women. Jesus esteems children. Jesus says that here in the kingdom of God, everyone has equal value, fully loved by God. The blood of Jesus is for everyone. So all of you Christian husbands, do not disrespect or treat your wife like she is
[00:51:32] property. Don't treat her like she's less valuable than you. And he uses a word here because she is your co-heir. Both of you know Jesus. Both of you bear God's image. Both of you have been covered
[00:51:49] by the blood. So remember that you and her both have received the grace of life. So treat her as such. Treat her like the valuable treasure that she is. Do you see how if we will fight for each
[00:52:02] other and not with each other, God will do amazing things? I got to share a story with you.
[00:52:10] Shari and I have had a couple of fights over 27 years. And sometimes we call them intense fellowships. And some of y'all have intense fellowship as well. And so stages of life come and go, but we were in that stage of life where we had a little boy. He was, I think at that point,
[00:52:28] maybe six months old. We didn't know that Shari at the time. We did find out a few months later, she had postpartum depression and we were having sleepless nights. I was traveling on the road as
[00:52:40] an itinerant evangelist all the time, gone 250 something days a year. I was coming home from a four day preaching trip and all I wanted to do was go home. I wanted to go home and be quiet. I
[00:52:52] wanted to go home and sit down. I wanted to go home and eat some food that wasn't from a restaurant or a fast food joint. And my wife had the audacity to call me on my flip phone on the way home and
[00:53:05] asked me if I'd stop by the grocery store. How dare she? And I'm just so selfish. And she was giving me a list of stuff. And I was tired. I was cranky. I was in a bad mood. And I'm pushing a
[00:53:18] grocery cart through the Produce Island Ingalls. And I'm just out loud. There's nobody else in there. It's just me. So I'm like, God, I can't believe how insensitive she is to my feelings.
[00:53:29] Doesn't she know I've been out working hard? Doesn't she know I've slept in an uncomfortable bed for the last four days? Doesn't she know how tired I am? And I'm having this pity party and my flip phone rings and it's my buddy from Jacksonville, Florida named Sean Yost.
[00:53:41] And Sean is a prophet. I've known Sean for a long time. Hey, Sean. He goes, hey man, the Lord just laid you on my heart to pray for you. Are you okay? No, I'm not okay. And I let
[00:53:53] him have it about what an insensitive, selfish wife I was married to. Shari, you've heard this story. And so I want y'all to know my wife is right here and she's laughing because she knows
[00:54:02] the punchline of this story because she lived it. Okay. And as I got done finishing my story about how horrible it was to be sleepless and we weren't physically or emotionally intimate because we weren't sleeping, and I'm just complaining. And he goes, are you done? And he said it with the
[00:54:22] disdain of a kind pastor. I said, yeah. He goes, good, because I need to strongly rebuke you.
[00:54:30] You sound like a spoiled little brat. You're better than that. Your wife is your biggest fan.
[00:54:38] Nobody loves her more than you, loves you more than her. Nobody believes in you more than her.
[00:54:43] she is your partner y'all are one flesh you are leaving God out of this Clayton suck it up and get over yourself and stop talking stupid that's exactly what he said to me stop talking stupid
[00:54:55] now I'm not going to talk to y'all the way he talked to me but I'm telling you I'm thankful for the way he talked to me that day because it was a game changer in my mind now I try to remember
[00:55:06] I am fighting for her she's not my enemy she's fighting for me I'm not her enemy and did you also know that science backs this up when you're willing to fight for your marriage and do a few
[00:55:16] things. Peter gives some instructions here. Can I tell you what now science has figured out? In 1997, Gallup did a big survey. They surveyed hundreds of thousands of people from what I can read. And in this Gallup poll connected with the National Association of Marriage Enhancement,
[00:55:33] they surveyed these people. And at that point in time, you had a one out of two chance of getting divorced if you had a new marriage in 1997. That's 50%, right? 50%, one out of two.
[00:55:45] They did a survey, and I'm going to ask them to throw this graphic up on the screen, and I want you to look at what happens when you will fight for your marriage and fight for each other by doing these four things. Couples in this survey that said they
[00:55:58] prayed together, they talked about God, they read their Bible, and they attended church.
[00:56:04] Do you see this number?
[00:56:06] The likelihood of divorce went to one out of 1,150.
[00:56:09] That's not 50%.
[00:56:11] That's 0.0008.
[00:56:16] Do you see how if you will fight for your spouse and not with your spouse, you can actually see God begin to change your marriage.
[00:56:26] But we have to trust the process.
[00:56:30] We have to trust the process.
[00:56:34] Can't take a pill to fix your marriage.
[00:56:35] You can't go to one counseling session to fix that thing that's bending and breaking.
[00:56:40] You can't just go to church a couple of Sundays and expect that to make everything okay. It is a process. And I want to show you from Ephesians chapter five, a few things that you and I can do
[00:56:51] in this process. If we'll trust the process, Paul writes to the church in Ephesus in Ephesians chapter five. It's so practical and it's so doable. Starting in verse 15, pay careful attention then to how you live, not as unwise people, but as wise. I want to leave that scripture up there
[00:57:13] for a second. I don't want to skip past that. Can I tell you pastorally, we were talking about this in teaching team on Wednesday after our meeting. And can I just tell you pastorally what I've seen
[00:57:24] in my brothers and my sisters and my friends who have found a marriage that was bending and broken, finding a marriage that was on the rocks and about to maybe go over the edge of a cliff.
[00:57:34] when you stop paying attention to how you live, when you start acting in unwise ways. See what he says there? Pay careful attention to how you walk, not as unwise people, but as wise.
[00:57:47] Small little decisions, small little compromises. Can I just be very specific?
[00:57:53] You've been married for a little while and you start to wonder whatever happened to your ex-girlfriend. So you look her up on Facebook just to see how she's doing. You've been married to your husband for quite some time and he's just not emotionally vulnerable and he doesn't know how
[00:58:04] to talk about his feelings. But there's a guy at work that's been paying attention to you, and he talks about his feelings all the time. And before you know it, you're getting coffee with him.
[00:58:14] It's unwise. That's foolish. That's a bad decision. It's going to take you to a bad place.
[00:58:20] Well, you know, I'm in my 30s. I'm in my 40s. The kids are older. What's the harm in me going out with the girls and going to a bar and getting a couple of martinis and getting a couple of
[00:58:31] drinks? What's the harm in going out with the girls and going to a show or going to the club?
[00:58:36] We're just dancing. What's wrong with me going out with the guys to a bar or a club or a show and drinking a beer or six? What's wrong with me going out with the guys? I mean, yeah,
[00:58:47] there are going to be women there, but that's okay. I'm not really doing anything. Oh, I'm on a business trip and I'm not really doing anything wrong. I'm just flirting a little bit. Oh, I'm
[00:58:58] going to the gym and I'm starting to get in shape and what I really need is a trainer and she's really beautiful. That guy knows what he's doing. I can tell by looking at him, I'm going to hire
[00:59:07] a trainer. Nothing wrong with going to the gym, nothing wrong with trainers, nothing wrong with any of that. But when we start making small, little, unwise, foolish decisions, listen to me church, can I speak to you with the love and the authority of a pastor? Listen to me. Stupid
[00:59:24] decisions take us to destructive destinations. And don't even have this mindset. I may not even get past this and that's okay. I've heard this one. Well, our kids are out of the house. They're grown. We're empty nesters now. We've done our job. We don't know each other. This is, he's a
[00:59:42] stranger. We have nothing in common. She's a stranger. We're not sleeping together like we used to. There's not as much intimacy. We don't have common hobbies and things that we do together.
[00:59:51] God just wants me to be happy. We've raised our kids. They're grown adults now. We're just going the bell out and start over. I'm going to get me a new one. I'm going to trade in for a new one.
[00:59:59] And you think that that won't affect anybody. It will affect your soul and it will mess your kids up. I don't care if they're adults. A good friend of mine said this to me one time. He lost one of
[01:00:12] his own children as an adult. And he said that when his parents got divorced, when he was in his late thirties, that affected him in ways similar to losing his own child in a tragic
[01:00:22] accident. So as pastors, our job is not to just say what you want to hear. It's to say what you need to hear. And I need to hear this. We need to hear this. There is hope for your marriage.
[01:00:36] So fight for it and trust the process. Trust the process. Let me finish the scripture.
[01:00:45] Throw that back up there, guys. Making the most of time because the days are evil.
[01:00:49] so don't be foolish but understand what the Lord's will is and don't get drunk this is such a specific warning don't get drunk with wine which leads to reckless living but be filled with the
[01:01:03] spirit and look at all these practical ways that you can put into place a process of building back a marriage that's in trouble or a marriage that's broken or just a marriage that needs a little bit
[01:01:15] the maintenance. Listen to these things. Speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making music with your hearts to the Lord. What if your house was filled with worship music? What if there was less Netflix and more worship? What if there was less screen time
[01:01:38] and more face-to-face coffee conversations or meals? What if you spoke encouraging words to each other instead of always being sarcastic and joking around. Look, I'm preaching to myself.
[01:01:50] And then he goes on to say in verse 20, giving thanks always for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. What if in your marriage and mine, we took the opportunity
[01:02:01] to tell our spouse every day, thank you. Thank you for that small little thing you did for me.
[01:02:06] Thank you for the way that you made up the bed. Thank you for the way that you put up the dishes.
[01:02:09] Thank you for taking care of the yard.
[01:02:12] Thank you for how hard you work with the kids.
[01:02:14] Thank you for how hard you work when you go every day to school and you teach that class.
[01:02:19] What if we did that?
[01:02:21] What if we encouraged each other?
[01:02:23] And what if we just said, no more negativity will come out of my mouth.
[01:02:27] No more criticism will come out of my mouth.
[01:02:30] No more nagging will come out of my mouth.
[01:02:32] No more complaining will come out of my mouth.
[01:02:34] I wanna give thanks for everything.
[01:02:36] And look at verse 21, submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.
[01:02:41] What if our attitude toward our spouse was one of humility and submission?
[01:02:45] How can I love you?
[01:02:46] How can I serve you?
[01:02:47] I know I can't do it in my flesh.
[01:02:49] I need God to help me.
[01:02:52] And that is where we land.
[01:02:55] Ask God for help.
[01:02:59] Ask him for help.
[01:03:02] Look, y'all, we're all in this boat as Christians, whether you're married or single or divorced or widowed or a widower, we all need God's help just to live daily, just to not lose our cool and lose our testimony and
[01:03:14] lose our temper. We need God's help, but I want to promise you that if you will ask God for help, he will. You know why? Because nobody believes in your marriage more than God. Nobody created
[01:03:24] marriage, but God, no one has invested more through the blood of Jesus Christ into saving you and creating a one flesh reality out of two people than God has. So I want to encourage you
[01:03:35] from James chapter 1, 5 and 6, ask God for help. Look at what James writes. The brother of Jesus literally writes these words, James chapter 1, verses 5 and 6. Now, if any of you lacks wisdom,
[01:03:47] he should ask God. He should ask God who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly. God will not withhold it from you and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith without doubting
[01:03:58] for the doubter is like the surging sea driven and tossed by the wind. So if your marriage today feels like the surging sea, like a storm has blown in.
[01:04:09] It's wrecked stuff, it's hurt stuff.
[01:04:13] You feel like your marriage is tossed up and down by the waves and the winds.
[01:04:17] The good news today, you're in the right place with a bunch of other people who need the grace of God, just like you do, starting with those of us who lead and serve you.
[01:04:28] And you can ask God and God will help you.
[01:04:31] And that's how I want us to close out our time today.
[01:04:34] When you ask God for help, God will provide that help.
[01:04:38] And here at New Spring, he's provided it through his church and he's provided it through our volunteers and through our staff.
[01:04:43] And there is help for you today.
[01:04:46] And so in a moment when we begin to respond with Christians taking communion and with us singing, there is one response I wanna be really specific about today.
[01:04:55] And that is the response I'm gonna ask some of you to take an initiative to have.
[01:05:00] I'm gonna ask everybody to stand up right now at all of our campuses, if you would, just together.
[01:05:04] just stand up, prepare yourself. And I'm going to invite our ministry teams to go ahead and take their places on the sides and at the front here in Anderson, the balcony. So we have tried to prepare
[01:05:17] as much as we can to help some of you today. And again, you may just want to come and just thank God for your amazing marriage, or you may want to come and pray with one of our volunteers
[01:05:32] or one of our ministry team couples or members.
[01:05:35] Here's what I'm gonna ask you to do while I'm praying.
[01:05:38] I'm gonna ask you, if you're sitting with your spouse, would you have the faith, would you have the courage while I'm praying to just reach over and grab your husband or grab your wife by the hand and say,
[01:05:49] let's go pray together.
[01:05:50] And that prayer could be, we're gonna thank God for how good we have it.
[01:05:55] That prayer could be, we're gonna fight for this marriage and not give up.
[01:05:59] That prayer could be, Lord, humble us and help us love each other with your wisdom. And here's the good thing about it.
[01:06:05] I want to be so specific. When I say amen, people are going to start moving. So if in your mind right now, you're already telling yourself, I don't want to go forward and pray with my husband
[01:06:14] or my wife, because then everybody's going to think we've got marital problems. Y'all, hundreds and thousands of people are going to be moving at the exact same time all over our campuses. That's going to give you all the cover you need to not wonder what people are thinking
[01:06:30] about you. Second of all, ain't nobody thinking about you because we're all thinking about ourselves. So let's just get over ourselves for a second. And number three, if you're worried whether or not people are going to think you've got marriage problems, we know you do because
[01:06:44] all marriages have problems because there are two sinners in every marriage who need the blood of Jesus to rescue us and save us. Does that help lighten the mood and take that burden off of you
[01:06:56] a little bit? And guys, I preached Thursday night at the Greenville campus, and at the Greenville campus on Thursday night, the altar was full of couples of all stages and walks of life.
[01:07:06] So let's make this a place and a space right now where we can just simply come and ask for help or do exactly what Paul says in Ephesians 5, give thanks for the amazing marriage. Wives,
[01:07:19] if your husband doesn't lead and take you by the hand and say, let's go, you take him by the hand and you lead and you say, we're going to pray. Thank you, Ty. And I think on that, we're going
[01:07:34] to pray. Lord, I want to thank you so much for the hope that we have in the word of God, that our broken marriages can be restored, that our broken lives can be redeemed by your blood.
[01:07:49] And so I pray that as I say amen here in a few seconds, men and women and single people and those who are divorced and those that wanna be married one day and those that are in their second marriage
[01:08:02] or their third marriage, God, we thank you for all of it, even the tough spots.
[01:08:07] Help us all to be responsive.
[01:08:09] And if you're stirring us up to come and pray, I pray we'd have the faith to do it right now as we respond in Jesus' name, amen.

[01:08:26] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[01:08:26] As we move to respond right now, you can come down front and pray.
[01:08:30] There's communion all over the room.
[01:08:32] There's people waiting to pray with you.
[01:08:34] And if today you want to give your life to Christ, there's a cross down front that you can come to.
[01:08:39] We're just going to play some music, give everybody a chance to respond.

[01:08:41] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[01:08:41] My God, that is who you are.
[01:11:13] Miracle worker, promise keeper, light in the darkness, my God, that is who you are.
[01:11:44] That is who you are God in the darkness, my God That is who you are Name maker, miracle worker, promise keeper God in the darkness, my God That is who you are I feel it, you're working
[01:13:25] You never stop, you never stop working Even when I don't see it, you're working Even when I don't feel it, you're working You never stop, you never stop working Even when I don't see it, you're working
[01:13:52] Even when I don't feel it, you're working You never stop, you never stop working Even when I don't see it, you're working Even when I don't feel that you're working You never stop, you never stop working
[01:14:15] You are way maker, miracle worker Promise keeper, light in the darkness My God, that is who you are Way maker, miracle worker Promise keeper, light in the darkness Come on, we believe that.

[01:15:16] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[01:15:16] We all just sing this together, declaring together amazing grace.

[01:15:52] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[01:15:52] like me but now i see it was grace that taught my heart to be my fears just did that grace of my chains are gone my chains are gone my sin has ransomed mercy and in love continue to respond i

[01:17:21] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_00]
[01:17:21] I felt prompted to come out and just share the revelation teaches us that we overcome by the blood of the lamb and the word of our testimony. And tomorrow, my wife and I celebrate 24 years
[01:17:34] of marriage. Don't clap. That's going to, y'all are going to want to clap. I appreciate that.
[01:17:38] That's not the point. The point is from 2007 to 2011, I just ran it into the ground and we're separated in 2011 and she's hopeless and having to protect our kids from my insanity and I'm telling you, I tried everything I could to fix it and couldn't and God reached down into
[01:18:02] the pit and plucked me out. So whatever your situation is, there is hope on the other side of it. Even if you're here alone and you're hopeless because your spouse is running, there is hope. God is faithful. And so if you're here with your spouse, if you would grab your spouse's hand,
[01:18:18] if you're here with one of your kids, your spouse is not here, just put a hand on your child's shoulder. Some of y'all are going to have to reach across your kids to hold your spouse's
[01:18:25] hand. I'm going to ask you to do it because there's something in the way that our bodies lead our spirits sometimes. So just take your spouse's hand. We're going to pray that God would mark us as a culture of redemption and restoration. Heavenly Father, you have gone before me
[01:18:44] personally. Lord, I look out and I see people who've written books that you went before.
[01:18:54] God, you have graced our campus with story after story after story of redemption and restoration and renewal. And so God, we ask for more of that. May we be a church, Lord, that is marked by the
[01:19:06] reality that you are a God that is faithful to his people. And so Lord, we pray for the ability to one day at a time, trust the process to do the next right thing so that we might serve the people
[01:19:18] around us and emulate the character of Christ. We ask these things in Jesus name. Amen. Amen.
[01:19:25] What a great day, Clayton. I don't know. I saw you at some point. What a great word. You can put your hands together for Clayton. And I'll receive that for 24 years. Hand clap for Jill for putting
[01:19:38] up with me for that long. Yeah, praise God for that. She's in it now. She can't get out of it.
[01:19:45] Hey, you're going to get one of these as you leave. I'm telling you, if you'll take the person that you're closest to in life, spouse or otherwise, and ask these six questions this week, your
[01:19:54] relationship will go to the next level. So you're going to grab these as you head out. I would love now to bless you as we head into a big week pre-gauntlet. Come on. So if you want to take a
[01:20:08] posture to receive the blessing, may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing so that by the power of the Holy Spirit, you may abound in hope. As you place your hope in God,
[01:20:21] may he renew your strength and empower you through his spirit to love and serve others as Christ has done for you. Go now and carry this same hope and life and life of the gospel into the world.
[01:20:34] Be blessed. We'll see you here Wednesday at Fuse, Thursday night for recovery with Mary Knox and next Sunday for church. Love you guys.