Forgiveness Beyond Emotion: The True Power of the Cross

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:00:00] So thanks Brie for talking about the hockey game because I too have been watching that. It is still one-to-one.
[00:00:06] Confess if you're watching it while we're worshiping.
[00:00:09] Come on. I know you have your phones. Okay, like you know lying is a thing like it's not okay to lie.
[00:00:16] So just own it.
[00:00:17] The only thing I'll ask is that if it's in the middle of the message and like I'm trying to drive home some point, don't go like, we won or we lost like that just would totally the well if you want to get out early that would
[00:00:30] be a way to derail the message because sometimes when those crazy things happen I have a hard time getting back to the point which should shock you. My name is Andrea Smith. I have the privilege of
[00:00:40] being the pastor here at West and we are so grateful that despite the gold medal round of the Olympics for the hockey that you are here in worship this morning. We start Lent today. It is
[00:00:52] the six weeks prior to easter where we are going to be diving into the last words of christ and so we're going to talk about that we're going to look at forgiveness today and what that really means
[00:01:03] and how we can do it and the power that he gave us when he said that that day we're also after worship today having subs with the staff and leaders of west if you didn't sign up but you
[00:01:15] want to come we would love to have you ask me after worship how to get to the office we're having it at the office so we're grateful for that online folks if you're ever interested in
[00:01:24] your version of that let us know we're also grateful that you are here we're starting an online linton study on tuesday nights via zoom so if you're interested in that we'd like to know and we're going to start a linton study after worship next sunday and it will go all the
[00:01:40] sundays of march going along with what we talk about here in the message you don't have to sign up you can just drop in for that when you're here and able and so online folks i really look
[00:01:50] forward to seeing you on tuesday night in that study i do have some good news and bad news that i need to share with you very briefly last week we talked about going to uganda and uh the team
[00:02:03] they're all good but just because of the craziness of life and the fact that i said at the beginning of the year that i was not going to over extend and over commit and under deliver just due to some
[00:02:14] unforeseen circumstances and just the hecticness that life and ministry has brought i will not be going with the team and so uh leadership and i came to that conclusion this week it just is not
[00:02:27] prudent for me uh to be there and so um i'm sad about that but i'm really excited that you get stuck with me all six weeks of lent for the messages and so um we will wish them well and
[00:02:41] pray for them i know they're going to have a great trip and they'll be sending us pictures and we'll talk about them in worship that sunday that they're there but um i'm not going to be able to
[00:02:50] go so i wanted to let you know that because several of you have asked about how you can support them support me etc so we're grateful that you're here and we'll come back out with a hockey
[00:03:01] update in just a few moments so last words matter and if we're lucky enough like maybe our last words will be profound mine might be i'd really like some puffy cheetos and some swiss cake rolls
[00:03:20] i've decided at the end of life like i'm not kidding i mean i'll tell everybody i love them but you know let's just go all in with all the things that i want that are not healthy for me and um
[00:03:31] let's just take advantage of that sometimes last words are you know i need some water or i'm uncomfortable other times like i shared with you the the beautiful life of john railey we talked about that briefly last week the celebration of life service we had last saturday i mean he was
[00:03:48] so intentional about his last words and they came over a span of weeks so when we look at the last words of jesus they're not like bam bam bam right after each other there's there's some pauses in
[00:04:00] in between, and the different gospel writers tell us different phrases, which does not mean anything's inconsistent. It means that they each had different ways of remembering. I would invite you to take a look at the picture that we have on the screens. This is an example of what it
[00:04:18] sort of looked like, and we're going to actually have a cross in here in a few weeks and show you like what it would have been like. But during crucifixion, I mean, we think of the nails
[00:04:30] going through the hands and the feet. Actually, the nails, which would have been huge, huge, would have gone through the wrist bones. And so you'd be standing or hanging there with the nails through the bones of your wrist and through your ankles. Like they'd put your feet like this and
[00:04:49] then drive it, the steak, through your ankles. And so the fact that Jesus took the time to say these things really mattered because death by crucifixion typically happened by um asphyxiation not being able to breathe and every time he said something he would have had to hoist himself up
[00:05:13] which meant putting more pressure on the nails that were through his wrist and holding himself there so that he would get enough air in his diaphragm like to fill his lungs so that he would have the power to even speak so every time that he says something it is important and just
[00:05:34] like everything else he did i believe that he chose these words very very intentionally so final words often reveal who a person is as we look through these words of christ i want us to think
[00:05:49] about like where are we in the story how might these words relate to us are we at a space in our lives that we will utter these words for other people um there's a phrase in there you know woman
[00:06:04] behold your son's son behold your mother powerful he redefines family and love in that statement he he confesses out of his humanity i'm thirsty he also cries out to god like you know have why have you forsaken me like what is up here and so this is it's just it's it's a beautiful way
[00:06:26] for us to walk through the season of lent and i'm so glad that you're here and i'm so glad that we are going to do this together so the very first phrase that we're going to look at is in the
[00:06:37] gospel of luke and i want you to hear the passage that comes right before the first phrase it is luke you'll find it in luke 23 as they led him off they made simon a man from cyrene who happened to
[00:06:52] be coming in from the countryside carry the cross behind jesus a huge crowd of people followed along with women that were weeping at one point jesus turned to the women and said daughters of jerusalem don't cry for me cry for yourselves and your children the time is coming when they'll say
[00:07:10] lucky the women who never conceived lucky the wombs that never gave birth lucky then they'll start calling to the mountains fall down on us calling to the hills cover us up if people do these things to a live green tree can you imagine what they'll do with dead wood and jesus was
[00:07:28] talking about the corruption in jerusalem and that was going to happen he's predicting the fall of the temple in those words two others both criminals were taken along with him for execution when they got to the place called skull hill they crucified him along with the criminals one on his
[00:07:49] right the other on his left and jesus prayed father forgive them they don't know what they're doing so if you have an old-school Bible like an NIV or an NRSV and and they have the annotations at the bottom I use the message interpretation most of the time
[00:08:10] now when I'm speaking and so they don't do the little annotations down at the bottom but if you have like an NRSV and NIV a King James Version any of those they have footnotes and if you look at this passage in one of those
[00:08:24] translations you're gonna see a footnote and it says that this phrase was not included in Luke's earliest writings and then after the the Gospel of Luke his words circulated for about 30 to 40 years they went back and put the phrase
[00:08:46] in Luke was a historian also a physician but a historian and so the way that he came up with all this stuff that he's got in the Gospel of Luke was by going and interviewing
[00:08:57] people. And so he writes what other people have told him. Now, it's interesting to note, and I just think this gives so much power to this story and the power of these words, is that in the
[00:09:14] original manuscript, it wasn't in there. Well, think about it. This manuscript starts circulating everywhere and it makes it to Rome well in Rome the Apostle Paul was doing his work and some of his closest people that he was working with were named Rufus and
[00:09:35] Alexander now Rufus and Alexander were the sons of Simon from Cyrene Simon is the one that they got to carry and it would not have been the whole cross it would have only been the the arm beam but Simon is the one who carried the cross beam now if you
[00:09:59] were Jewish during this time it was a part of who you were your culture your religion to go to Jerusalem for the Passover and so Simon of Cyrene finds himself there's this big parade and and
[00:10:14] we've talked about you know like the parade of Palm Sunday and and when they lined the streets when Jesus first came in he had no idea when he first walked up what was going on but then he
[00:10:24] noticed that there were other criminals there there were crosses hung this was not just an ordinary parade this was a march to one's death so he finds himself honestly at the wrong place at the wrong time and there he is with his two young sons and one of the Roman soldiers grabs
[00:10:45] him and says hey you need to carry this for him i imagine as a parent he would have looked at his sons and said stay right here i will find you and they watched these two young boys rufus and
[00:11:06] alexander they watch what happens and then if you go into the gospel the book of romans paul writes to rufus the son of simon and talks to him about what they're doing in their ministry and
[00:11:28] scholars say that rufus added this story and that paul and rufus made sure that the gospel of luke was edited because Rufus being there with his dad after his dad carried the cross would have heard the words from Jesus father forgive them for they do
[00:11:53] not know what they do they don't know what they do it isn't pleasant but I'd invite you for just a second to think about a time that someone has hurt you deeply i don't mean like the video we showed you know the little girl on the you know playing with
[00:12:16] her friend and one minute she's all good the next minute she hates her and then five minutes later she's all good again i mean that's that's the way things roll when we're children but as we get
[00:12:29] older people hurt us we hold on to that hurt and then if we're not careful it festers and sometimes it turns into this thing called unforgiveness. Jesus gives us a way to process our pain. So I
[00:12:57] want you to think about that time that you've been hurt by someone and look at it in light of the context of what he said. Father, forgive them for they don't know what they do. Think about the
[00:13:10] people that would have been there doing this. The Roman soldiers, I mean, they were doing their job they didn't have the authority or the right to to buck the system pontius pilate who had washed his hands of everything but ultimately ended up sending jesus to his death
[00:13:32] because of his quest for popularity and the crowd was screaming really loudly crucify him the religious leaders the pharisees they would have been so close there they were not afraid unlike the followers of jesus they would have been right there at the foot of the cross watching
[00:13:56] this happen he was a heretic to them he was bucking their institution they didn't know enough to be able to let go of their control and their clinging to the institution to stop what was happening jesus would have known all that he would have known
[00:14:28] that they just didn't know any better they couldn't in that space where they were at that time do it any differently father forgive them for they don't know what they do jesus named their ignorance not their malice now ignorance sounds like a really bad word none of us would
[00:14:54] want someone to come up to us and say you're so ignorant let's look at the definition of ignorance ignorance is when we act from fear blindness or limited vision jesus didn't say any mean things to them how could you do this to me do you not understand that I
[00:15:19] am the Son of God he didn't do any of that said father forgive them for they don't know what they do he names their ignorance not their malice and ignorance means without information they're acting out of their fear their limited
[00:15:34] perspective so think about the situation where someone's hurt you odds are even if they know what they do they're doing even if they know they're trying to hurt you even if they know they're trying to like you know ruin a relationship for
[00:15:53] you or take some of your status away or something like that or they're walking away from you psychologists will tell you over and over and over again and it is so true hurting people hurt people and I guarantee you that nine times out
[00:16:16] attend that situation that you find yourself in where someone is hurting you if you dig deep enough within their psyche they're operating out of the best space that they have within themselves and sometimes that is such a wounded space that they hurt others now brene brown is a famous
[00:16:48] psychologist and she has written multiple books i would recommend any of them she is such a solid human being and teaches us so much about things like this i wanted to share with you a few words
[00:17:03] from her today it's about blame and blame and unforgiveness are linked so closely together brown talks about how blame is how we discharge our pain it happened this is a silly story probably you'll find bigger ones within your own existence but um this morning i i am a clutter
[00:17:31] person i'll chalk it up to my adhd i have piles of things everywhere i love how dawn and lane we needed to get the office cleaned up this week and we were all sick at different times and so
[00:17:45] everybody did different things they just stacked my stuff and they're kind enough to put it in little bins and so i thought i'd tackled one of the bin and now there's another bin but like i
[00:17:56] am messy this morning i'm getting ready to leave and i've got you know stuff that i need to take to the office and then my glasses were right there on the corner not a wise place but like
[00:18:07] they fell and of course how did they fall they fell flat on their lenses i don't know if they're scratched or not because i couldn't see to see if there were scratch but like i looked at tom i'm
[00:18:19] like how did you do that like why did you you know you knocked off my glasses he's like why are you blaming me for knocking off your glasses you had them literally right there on the corner
[00:18:30] could i suggest that maybe let's put things away let's not just have little piles he didn't say that about piles but i know he wanted to and so i'm like that's exactly what i'm talking about
[00:18:43] this morning like i didn't want it to be my fault that my glasses are messed up and i might have to get a new pair which i didn't want to do that's so silly and such a stupid example but the next
[00:18:59] time something bad happens watch how quick you go to blame we don't want it to be our fault we don't want it to be our problem if there is pain there we want we don't want the responsibility
[00:19:17] to go with it so we go to blaming the other people and that's how we process that pain and that is not healthy take a look at this video by brown how many of you are blamers how many of

[00:19:41] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[00:19:41] you when something goes wrong the first thing you want to know is whose fault it is hi my name is is Brene. I am a blamer. Let me just tell you this quick story. So this is a couple of years ago when
[00:19:52] I first realized the magnitude to which I blame. I'm in my house. I have on white slacks and a pink sweater set, and I'm drinking a cup of coffee in my kitchen. It's a full cup of coffee. I drop it
[00:20:03] on the tile floor. It goes into a million pieces, splashes up all over me. And the first, I mean, a millisecond after it hit the floor, right out of my mouth is this, damn you, Steve.
[00:20:16] who is my husband? Because let me tell you how fast this works for me.
[00:20:25] So Steve plays water polo with a group of friends. And the night before he went to go play water polo. And I said, Hey, make sure you come back at 10. Cause you know, I can never fall asleep
[00:20:33] into your home. And he got back like at 10 30. And so I went to bed a little bit later than I thought. Ergo, my second cup of coffee that I probably would not be having had he come home
[00:20:44] when we discussed, therefore. And so the rest of that story is I'm cleaning up, um, the kitchen, Steve calls, call her ID. I'm like, Hey, he's like, Hey, what's going on, babe? What's going on? Um,
[00:21:04] so I'll tell you exactly what's going on. I'm cleaning up the coffee that spilled off like dial tone. Cause he knows how many of you go to that place when something bad happens, the first thing you want to know is whose fault is it. I'd rather it be my fault than no one's
[00:21:24] fault. Because why? Why? Because it gives us some semblance of control. But here, if you enjoy blaming, this is where you should stick your fingers in your ear and do the no, no, no, no
[00:21:35] thing because I'm getting ready to ruin it for you. Because here's what we know from the research.
[00:21:40] Blame is simply the discharging of discomfort and pain. It has an inverse relationship with accountability. Accountability by definition is a vulnerable process.
[00:21:55] It means me calling you and saying, hey, my feelings were really hurt about this and talking. It's not blaming. Blaming is simply a way that we discharge anger.
[00:22:04] People who blame a lot seldom have the tenacity and grit to actually hold people accountable because we expend all of our energy raging for 15 seconds and figuring out whose fault something us and blaming is very corrosive in relationships and it's one of the reasons we miss our
[00:22:23] opportunities for empathy because when something happens and we're hearing a story we're not really listening we're in the place where i was making the connections as quickly as we can about whose

[00:22:34] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:22:34] fault something was if we hold on to blame long enough it turns into unforgiveness if we hold on to blame long enough it turns into unforgiveness and like that video at the beginning like you
[00:23:00] know let's get some tomatoes and let's carry them around and after we carry the tomatoes for a period of time what's going to happen they're going to start to rot and rotten tomatoes smell and are disgusting that's what happens to unforgiveness especially when we hold it
[00:23:18] and cling to it so tightly that day that they crucified Jesus what were they so afraid of what were they wrestling with so much what did they not know fear is a normal part of human existence whether we like it or not it's what we do with
[00:23:45] our fears that poses us the greatest opportunity for growth when we're afraid the next time you are afraid of something watch how much you try to control it because that's when we dig in and we hold on and we try to make sure that we mitigate any risk and that we
[00:24:15] make things happen the way that we want them to to benefit us like it or not we're all self-focused individuals part of our journey in christ is to move the focus from self to to god and to
[00:24:31] the world we talked about the religious leaders jesus upset their system he didn't come to start a new religion he had no desire to start christianity in fact i've said this before the earliest followers were not called christians they were called followers of the way
[00:24:59] he wanted to show them the way to being at one with god and over the hundreds of years that the jewish people the israelites had been in their journey trying to find god experience god be
[00:25:14] with god worship god they kept just going off the path and we know that off the path means sin forgiveness is what is offered to us when we sin the religious leaders just couldn't grasp
[00:25:33] that there could be other ways other than all the laws that had been mapped out by their ancestors and they thought they were doing what was right by god and they were afraid of this new way of doing things they blamed jesus and it led to his death so in his final words
[00:26:09] he says father interesting to note he doesn't just say i forgive you he prays to god god you forgive them for they don't know what they do and if you look at the word forgive in the greek
[00:26:37] in this passage the word is a pheome and it does not mean it's all good and warm and fuzzy and i forgive you and now let's go over to hop town and let's hang out because we're all good
[00:26:53] again that is not what the word means it does not mean reconciliation it means like brie saying a little while ago let it go forgiveness means letting go and jesus offers it not as a declaration
[00:27:20] but as a prayer so when you find yourself wrestling with the hurt that someone has done to you that situation you thought about a few minutes before you know it doesn't have to be something
[00:27:34] that you do alone if you can't forgive them let it go turn it over to the power and the presence that abides in each of us god the holy spirit and ask for that gift ask god to help you let it go
[00:27:55] sometimes things are far too hard for us to do alone and just one brief point to that forgiveness father forgive them for they know not what they do scholars will say that the them was not just
[00:28:16] the soldiers or the ones casting the throw in the dice trying to gamble for his clothes not just the religious leaders not even his disciples and his friends who deserted him the the night before or in his hours of greatest need not just them but projected for all time for us to
[00:28:38] father forgive them they don't know what they do the times that we miss the mark we have this propensity to not act out of love but act out of self-interest and self-gain father forgive them they don't know what they do there's nothing that you or i could possibly do
[00:28:59] that separates us from the love of god we are given the most beautiful gift of forgiveness there is no sin too big that we cannot be forgiven so many times we don't feel worthy of god's love and god's grace and we feel like we don't have it because we've done too much to
[00:29:25] separate us from that there is nothing nothing that we can do that separates us from the love of god i want you to take a look at these words that the apostle paul wrote you see at just the
[00:29:39] right time when we were still powerless christ died for the ungodly but god demonstrates his love for us in this while we were still sinners christ died for us while we were still powerless while we were still sinners missing the mark of being a people of love jesus gave it all
[00:30:09] that is a beautiful beautiful promise father forgive them they don't know what we what they do we don't know what we do so many times but that forgiveness is there it is ours for the taking
[00:30:26] and it is also ours for the giving it is easier said than done there was a time a situation in my extended family years and years ago and it was a painful one it wreaked havoc on my psyche
[00:30:47] it messed with some of my relationships there were just some folks that were just not kind and And I preach forgiveness.
[00:31:01] And I knew, I even knew that they were acting out of their own stuff.
[00:31:07] So I knew that it wasn't personal, but doggone it, it sure felt that way.
[00:31:15] Flash forward five, six years.
[00:31:19] I still go to therapy once a month.
[00:31:21] It's just best for my mental psyche.
[00:31:23] I was talking about a situation with my therapist, and she said, well, that's because you've not forgiven them.
[00:31:29] I'm like, oh, no, no, no, no, no.
[00:31:31] I preach forgiveness.
[00:31:32] I live forgiveness she's like you wouldn't be wrestling with this steel if you had forgiven deep pain leaves deep wounds but we worship a one whose wounds became scars and those scars give us life and in the process of getting those
[00:32:07] wounds and those scars his first words were father forgive them if we want life we have to do the same thing back in 2006 there was a shooting in an Amish school the man shot ten young children and killed five I've read by the end of
[00:32:37] the day the very parents that lost their child had walked across the street to the home of the man and offered their forgiveness and cooked food and took meals to his mom his wife his family and that even over the days and the weeks
[00:33:03] ahead they still gave that gift take a look as the nation marks the

[00:33:11] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[00:33:11] anniversary this week of the Newtown, Connecticut school shooting, families of some of the 26 who were killed attended a vigil today at the National Cathedral in Washington. Prayers were offered for all of the victims of gun violence in
[00:33:26] this country and that would include the five young Amish girls who were killed and five who were wounded just a few years ago in South Central Pennsylvania.
[00:33:35] Jeff Glor tells us that out of the horror of that school shooting has come

[00:33:41] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[00:33:41] lesson in forgiveness it's been seven years since terry roberts life changed forever in october 2006 her 32 year old son charlie walked into an amish school in lancaster county and shot 10 young girls

[00:33:58] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_00]
[00:33:58] before killing himself i heard the sirens and saw helicopters then the phone was ringing and it was my husband and he said i need you to come to charlie's house right away and i got out of
[00:34:10] the car and i looked at my husband and these sunken eyes just saying it was charlie that could not be and yet it truly was it was true it was our son robert's initial reaction was that

[00:34:27] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[00:34:27] she had to move away but the amish came to her house the night of the shooting to say they wanted her to stay some of the victims families attended her son's funeral there are not words to describe

[00:34:39] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_00]
[00:34:39] How that made us feel that day. And then for the mother and father that had lost not just one, but two daughters at the hand of our son, to come up and be the first ones to greet us. Wow. Is there anything in this life we shouldn't forgive?

[00:35:02] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[00:35:02] Terry Roberts now shares this message with those who've experienced trauma.
[00:35:07] And every Thursday, she cares for the most seriously wounded survivor of the shooting, now 13.
[00:35:13] It's against Amish beliefs to appear on camera, so Donald Craikhill often speaks on their behalf.

[00:35:18] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_05]
[00:35:18] You have this mother who raised a son that did this horrific damage to this young woman.
[00:35:26] And the mother has the courage and the spiritual fortitude to come back and to care for this young woman.
[00:35:34] And the parents of the young woman welcome her into their home.
[00:35:38] It's a powerful, powerful story.

[00:35:40] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[00:35:40] Those families in Newtown who may still have understandably conflicted feelings, now still less than a year later, what do you say to them?

[00:35:49] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_00]
[00:35:49] Ask God to provide new things in your lives, new things to focus on.
[00:35:54] And that doesn't take the place of what is lost, but it can give us a hope and a future.

[00:36:04] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[00:36:04] A future made possible for Terry Roberts because of forgiveness.
[00:36:08] Jeff Glore, CBS News, Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.

[00:36:12] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:36:12] Is there anything that can't be forgiven? Jesus would say, no.
[00:36:18] Let us pray.
[00:36:19] Gracious God, thank you for the gift of forgiveness.
[00:36:23] We all miss the mark so many times, yet you're always there with grace.
[00:36:29] we are so grateful thank you for showing us the power of forgiveness and now God in the places that we are most wounded will you hear us as we confess those places to you and will you somehow breathe your healing presence over our
[00:36:54] our own wounds and our scars and help us be like Jesus and say, Father, forgive them for they don't know what they do. God, let us let it go. Thank you for being a God of new beginnings, of healing
[00:37:16] and of peace. In Christ's name we pray. Amen. We worship an amazing God. I invite you to stand and sing. So the Canadians are not singing about the goodness of God, but the USA team is because
[00:37:33] they just won. Pretty sure God had probably not a lot to do with that. It had to do with their skill because that would get into God's providence and all kinds of other sermons that I'm not prepared
[00:37:45] to preach, but wanted to let you know. Thanks for coming to church despite the Olympic gold medal round. That says something. God is good. Life is hard. And there are times that we are going to
[00:37:59] just struggle. But God will offer us forgiveness and God will help us find forgiveness to offer to other people. All we have to do is ask. Go in peace and in a space of forgiveness. Amen.