Beyond Techniques: Is Your Marriage Built on the Rock or on Psychology?

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[00:00:00] Thank you for watching!
[00:00:30] Thank you for watching!
[00:01:00] Thank you for watching!
[00:01:30] Thank you for watching!
[00:02:00] Thank you for watching!
[00:02:30] Thank you for watching!
[00:03:00] Thank you for watching!

[00:03:30] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_16]
[00:03:30] Hey everyone, we're Aaron and Stephanie Blanton.
[00:03:53] We're the campus pastors right here at Central Campus.

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_12]
[00:03:56] And we are so glad you're here.
[00:03:57] Today you're going to get to connect with God through worship.
[00:04:00] We're going to connect through worship.
[00:04:00] Hear an impactful message.
[00:04:01] And be equipped to experience Christ's freedom in your everyday life.

[00:04:05] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_16]
[00:04:05] If it is your first time with us, we cannot wait to connect with you.
[00:04:08] Please stop by Guest Central, located in the lobby, right after service, so we can meet you and get a free gift to you.

[00:04:14] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_12]
[00:04:14] Thank you for joining us and welcome to Freedom House!

[00:04:17] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_16]
[00:04:17] Welcome to Freedom House!
[00:04:19] Welcome to Freedom House!
[00:04:20] Welcome to Freedom House!
[00:04:28] Welcome to Freedom House!

[00:04:29] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_05]
[00:04:29] We'll be right back.
[00:04:59] Freedom House Church, come on, let's stand upon our feet.
[00:05:04] Are you excited to be in God's house today?
[00:05:07] Come on, I say, are you excited to be in God's house today?
[00:05:13] Come on, no weather is going to stop us from worshiping the Lord today.
[00:05:18] There ain't no storm that's going to stop us from giving our God praise today.
[00:05:23] Come on.
[00:05:25] Well, we got a new song for you.
[00:05:29] Come on.
[00:05:29] Put your hands together.
[00:05:33] Come on, let's turn this into a praise pit today.
[00:05:37] Sing this out.
[00:05:41] I got the joy of the Lord deep down inside of my soul.
[00:05:45] And I can't hide it no more.
[00:05:47] I've got to praise Him.
[00:05:48] I got the joy of the Lord deep down inside of my soul.
[00:05:52] And I can't hide it no more.

[00:05:54] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[00:05:54] I've got to praise the one who broke my chains.

[00:05:58] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:05:58] And I've got to praise the one who bought my freedom.
[00:06:01] Come on.
[00:06:02] What else can I say but thank you, Jesus.
[00:06:08] Because you're just that good, just that faithful.
[00:06:12] And you're just that kind, I'm so grateful.
[00:06:15] That you saved my life like you said you would.
[00:06:20] Come on.
[00:06:22] So with my hands up high, heart abandoned.
[00:06:26] And a faith on fire.
[00:06:28] Singing and dancing, cause you saved my life.
[00:06:31] Like you said you would.
[00:06:34] Cause you're just, cause you're just that good.
[00:06:38] Hey!

[00:06:41] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[00:06:41] You're just that good.
[00:06:44] You put a song in my heart.
[00:06:46] I sing with all that I've got.
[00:06:48] And tell the world who you are.
[00:06:50] I'm gonna praise you.
[00:06:52] You put a song in my heart.
[00:06:53] I sing with all that I've got.
[00:06:55] And tell the world who you are.
[00:06:57] I'm gonna praise her.

[00:06:57] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:06:57] The one who broke my teeth for my freedom What else can I say but thank You, Jesus Cause You're just that good, just that faithful And You're just that high, I'm so grateful That You saved my life like You saved yours So with my hands up high, heart abandoned And faith on fire, singing and dancing Cause You saved my life like You saved Cause You're just, cause You're just that good You're just that good Yeah Come on

[00:07:52] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[00:07:52] You're the one who broke my teeth for my Come on Hey, hey What else can I say but thank You, Jesus Come on You're the one who broke my teeth for my freedom

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:08:10] Come on You have some teeth broken tonight What else can I say but thank You, Jesus Cause You're just that good Just that faithful And You're just that high, I'm so grateful That You saved my life like You saved yours So with my hands up high, heart abandoned And faith on fire, singing and dancing Cause You saved my life like You saved yours Cause You're just, cause You're just that good Oh God, I believe that You're just that good Just that good Just that good Oh God, I believe that You're just that good Come on, can You give Him praise?
[00:09:08] Can You give Him honor?
[00:09:11] Hey

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[00:09:18] Come on Can we give Him praise today?
[00:09:21] Yeah Let's serve a good God.
[00:09:29] Let's sing this together.

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[00:09:35] Oh everything changed It's getting harder to recognize

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[00:09:41] The person I was Before I encountered Christ I don't walk like I used to I don't talk like I used to I've been washed from the inside

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[00:09:56] I've been washed from the inside out Hallelujah, Hallelujah I know it was the blood Could have only been the blood

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[00:10:13] Hallelujah, Hallelujah You got it.
[00:10:20] I know it was the blood Could have only been the blood Come on.
[00:10:40] I cannot explain

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[00:10:43] But nothing's more real than this In the presence of God Oh what my heart experienced

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[00:10:52] With my shame in the wayside And my sin at the most high Come on.
[00:10:59] I've been washed from the inside I've been washed from the inside out

[00:11:05] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:11:05] Hallelujah, Hallelujah I know it was the blood Could have only been the blood Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah I know it was the blood Could have only been the blood I'm gonna continue on I was washed from the inside out I was washed from the inside out

[00:11:47] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_05]
[00:11:47] I'm gonna continue on

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[00:11:54] I'm gonna continue on I'm gonna continue on I was washed from the inside out I'm gonna continue on I was washed from the inside out Come on, let's hear it, baby.
[00:12:08] It's never been about performing perfection

[00:12:12] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:12:12] Or striving for acceptance Let me tell you, it's only by the blood.
[00:12:20] Does anybody want to be holy in my presence?
[00:12:26] I'm pure and by the blood.
[00:12:28] Let me tell you, it's only by the blood.
[00:12:33] Does anybody want to be worthy?
[00:12:37] I'm going to give it.
[00:12:38] I'm justified in living.
[00:12:41] Let me tell you, it's only by the blood.
[00:12:46] Hallelujah.
[00:12:51] Hallelujah.
[00:12:53] Hallelujah.
[00:12:56] I know it was the blood.
[00:12:59] I couldn't believe it was the blood.
[00:13:03] Hallelujah.
[00:13:06] Hallelujah.
[00:13:07] Hallelujah.
[00:13:09] I know it was.
[00:13:11] I know it was the blood.
[00:13:12] But it's not in the hand of the blood.
[00:13:18] But I'm only there to bless you.
[00:13:22] Hallelujah.
[00:13:24] Hallelujah.
[00:13:25] Hallelujah.
[00:13:27] Why don't we thank you Jesus?
[00:13:30] Why don't we thank you Jesus?
[00:13:32] Why don't we thank you Jesus?
[00:13:36] Come on, sing it out.

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[00:13:39] All together now.
[00:13:41] Hallelujah, I know it was the love Could have only been one Hallelujah, I know it was the love

[00:14:07] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:14:07] You paid it in full You paid it for us You paid it in full Oh, Jesus You paid it in full You paid it for us You paid it in full Oh, Jesus You paid it in full Oh, Jesus You paid it for us, you paid it in full, oh Jesus You paid it in full, you paid it for us, you paid it in full

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[00:14:56] Let's sing this together

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[00:14:58] What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can wash What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus Oh precious, oh precious is the flow of Christ Oh precious, oh precious is the flow of Christ That makes me white as snow No other fount I know Nothing but the blood of Jesus Oh precious, oh precious is the flow of Christ That makes me white as snow No other fount I know Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus

[00:16:55] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_05]
[00:16:55] What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus

[00:17:04] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:17:04] What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can wash away my sin? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus Away my sin With nothing but the blood of Jesus What can make me whole again It's nothing but the blood of Jesus What can wash away my sin It's nothing but the blood of Jesus What can make me whole again It's nothing but the blood of Jesus Does anybody wanna be holy and righteous Of your body and kindness Let me tell you It's only my blood Does anybody wanna be worthy Forgiven Justified, forgiven Let me tell you It's only my blood Does anybody wanna be holy And righteous Of your body and kindness Let me tell you It's only my blood Does anybody wanna be worthy Forgiven Justified, forgiven Let me tell you It's only my blood It's only my blood Hallelujah Hallelujah I know it was the blood Could you hold me there to the blood Hallelujah Hallelujah I know it was the blood Could you hold me there to the blood

[00:19:23] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_11]
[00:19:23] Come on Give the Lord praise Thank you, Jesus Thank you, Jesus Everybody say, Thank you, Jesus Thank you Jesus It is only by the blood Thank you that your blood blow down to cleanse us of our sins. God, I believe you're saying that there are people in this room right now that have been trying to cleanse their own sins, but it's only by the blood.
[00:19:50] God, I thank you that while the worship team sang about it being paid in full, I saw a pile of bills with a stamp. And that stamp said paid in full. And Father, we give you praise for that because we don't have to pay for our sins. It's already been taken care of. And so if we keep trying to cleanse ourselves or we keep trying to pay something that's already been paid, it'll be futile, God, because you've already taken care of it. You've already taken care of it.
[00:20:30] You've already taken care of it. You've already taken care of it. You've already taken care of it.
[00:20:30] You've already taken care of it. You've already taken care of it. Your blood flowed down. And because of that, we are made clean. We are as white as snow. And I just believe that the snow that's coming this January is a reminder of the cleansing of our sin. So as we gaze upon it, may we remember the price that Jesus paid to make us clean. God, we ask that you bless this gathering. We ask that you speak.
[00:21:00] That your Holy Spirit fall afresh on us just like the falling snow. We invite you, Holy Spirit, right now. Do what only you can do because you're the God of the impossible. Nothing is impossible with you. So I believe right here in this place today that you, God, will move in fresh ways in Jesus' name. And the church said,

[00:21:30] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_16]
[00:21:30] Amen. Amen. Amen. Come on. Give God some praise tonight. Come on.
[00:21:38] Awesome. Awesome. Awesome. Awesome.
[00:21:43] Well, we're going to move into the moment of the service. We're going to have our leaders come forward. We're going to open up our altar for prayer. You know, I was listening to that song and I'm like, wash from the inside. Aren't you glad you're washed from the inside? Because I don't know about you, but if I had to be washed from the outside, I would be washed from the outside in. I don't know if I'd ever get there. I'd never be made clean if I had to start from the outside in. I think a lot of people think they have to get it all right before they come to God.
[00:22:09] That's not the way he works. He works on your heart first because out of that comes the words that you speak, comes life. So speaking of our hearts tonight, I just want to read a verse to you. This comes out of Psalms 139. It says, search me thoroughly, O God, and know my heart.
[00:22:28] Test me.
[00:22:30] Come on. Does anybody know that tests come? We've all had tests in our lives. Test me and know my anxious thoughts and see if there's any wicked or hurtful way in me and lead me in the everlasting way. Tests will come. And I think what we have to think about is when we start the sanctification process, becoming more like Christ, when we invite him into our lives and that process starts, this is when this verse comes out.
[00:23:00] When the test comes, God, look at my heart. How am I handling this? What am I doing with this moment right here? Because I think a lot of times we react, which reaction comes from the flesh when God wants us to respond, which comes from the spirit.
[00:23:19] So a response is being in tune with the Holy Spirit, knowing what to say when you're in that moment. You know, so many times the disciples went out and Jesus said, hey, don't worry about what to say. The Holy Spirit will come to you. And I think a lot of times we react, which reaction comes from God saying, oh, look at my heart. I can't do anything. I need UFCs. Come on, Jesus, I need that.
[00:23:38] I want my pulse right now. I want my starting line такойAP Glory to God.
[00:23:58] Lord, know can you okay.
[00:23:58] This final prayer.
[00:23:58] You don't have to repeat it to me more than you can.
[00:23:58] I give you the words to say when you need it, but this testing, this purification of our hearts, if we would just get that right. It will change our relationship like this, and it will change our relationship like this husband to wife, friends to friends, servant to master, son to father, daughter to father.
[00:23:59] It changes everything.
[00:24:00] So I'm not sure where you're at tonight, but here's what I know.
[00:24:06] That we all need to sanctify our hearts more and more every day.
[00:24:12] And when those tests come, Lord, look at my heart.
[00:24:16] Help me understand if there's any wicked or hurtful thing that's in me so I can get that out of me.
[00:24:22] I don't want it in me so I know how to respond properly to people.
[00:24:26] So I know how to love my wife, so I know how to love my friends, my church, my community, my coworkers.
[00:24:32] So this altar is open.
[00:24:34] And the only reason why there's a lot of people up here is because they know God works.
[00:24:40] And they know God's not dead and that God's alive.
[00:24:42] And if you need a miracle in your life tonight, they're here to pray with you.
[00:24:46] So no matter what you're looking for, if you're looking to sanctify your heart, get some stuff off your shoulders tonight, they're here for you.
[00:24:53] If you need a miracle in your life, you need healing in your body.
[00:24:56] They're here for you.
[00:24:57] You need healing in your marriage, they're here for you.
[00:24:59] Don't hold back.
[00:25:00] Step out of your seat and let God do the work.
[00:25:03] Why are we going to this next song?
[00:25:04] Come on.

[00:25:24] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[00:25:24] This is a song of response.
[00:25:26] This is a song of response.
[00:25:26] To His goodness, let's sing.
[00:25:30] All my words fall short.
[00:25:34] I've got nothing new.
[00:25:39] How could I express all my gratitude?
[00:25:48] I could sing these songs as I often do.
[00:25:56] But every song must end.
[00:26:03] And you never do.
[00:26:07] So I throw up my hands and praise you again and again.
[00:26:14] Because all that I have is a hallelujah.
[00:26:21] Hallelujah.
[00:26:25] Hallelujah.
[00:26:25] Hallelujah.
[00:26:25] Hallelujah.
[00:26:25] Hallelujah.
[00:26:25] Hallelujah.
[00:26:25] Hallelujah.
[00:26:25] Hallelujah.
[00:26:26] And I know it's not much, but I'm nothing else but for a king.
[00:26:32] Except for a heart singing hallelujah.
[00:26:40] Hallelujah.
[00:26:48] I've got one response.
[00:26:53] I've got just one.
[00:26:55] Hallelujah.
[00:26:55] Hallelujah.
[00:26:56] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:57] Hallelujah.
[00:26:58] Hallelujah.
[00:26:58] Hallelujah.
[00:26:58] Hallelujah.
[00:26:58] Hallelujah.
[00:26:58] Hallelujah.
[00:26:58] Hallelujah.
[00:26:58] Hallelujah.
[00:26:58] Hallelujah.
[00:26:58] Hallelujah.
[00:26:58] Hallelujah.
[00:26:58] Hallelujah.
[00:26:58] Hallelujah.
[00:26:58] Hallelujah.
[00:26:59] Hallelujah.
[00:26:59] Hallelujah.
[00:26:59] Hallelujah.
[00:26:59] Hallelujah.
[00:26:59] Hallelujah.
[00:26:59] Hallelujah.
[00:26:59] Hallelujah.
[00:26:59] Hallelujah.
[00:26:59] Hallelujah.
[00:26:59] Hallelujah.
[00:26:59] Hallelujah.
[00:26:59] Hallelujah.

[00:27:15] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:27:15] Hallelujah.
[00:27:16] Hallelujah.
[00:27:22] Hallelujah.
[00:27:22] Hallelujah.
[00:27:24] Hallelujah.
[00:27:25] Hallelujah.
[00:27:25] Hallelujah.
[00:27:25] Hallelujah.
[00:27:25] And I know it's not much, but I've nothing else before You, King Except for a heart singing, Hallelujah Hallelujah Oh, raise it up on me We lift up our heart and bring our praise to You, God

[00:28:02] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[00:28:02] Come on my soul, don't you get shy on me Lift up your song, cause You've got a lion inside of those lungs Get up and praise the Lord Get up and praise the Lord Come on church, it's His breath and our lungs Come on my soul, don't you get shy on me

[00:28:25] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:28:25] Lift up your song, cause You've got a lion inside of those lungs Get up and praise the Lord Come on my soul, don't you get shy on me Lift up your song, cause You've got a lion inside of those lungs Get up and praise the Lord Come on my soul, don't you get shy on me Lift up your song, cause You've got a lion inside of those lungs Get up and praise the Lord Come on my soul, don't you get shy on me ers, oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh, oh, oh oh ohhh Praise the Lord You're the only one I know already You're the only one, already So I put my hands and praise You again and again It's all that I have needs to have way Hallelujah, Hallelujah I know it's not much, but I've nothing else left for my pain Except for a hard sin Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah He's worthy, You are worthy You are worthy Lord We thank You Jesus We thank You Jesus We thank You Jesus

[00:30:46] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_15]
[00:30:46] Come on church, we're not done yet We're not done yet We just started punching a hole through the miracle ceiling Come on, we're going back into it again If you need a miracle, lift your hands Receive it, receive it tonight Come on, receive it Come on David, go back into it one more time We're not done yet We're not cutting the Spirit short tonight We're gonna let Him do His work Come on, let's do it

[00:31:12] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[00:31:12] Let's sing Come on my soul No, don't you get shy on me

[00:31:21] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:31:21] Lift up your soul Cause you've got a lion inside Close up and get up and praise the Lord Come on my soul No, don't you get shy on me Lift up your soul Cause you've got a lion inside Close up and get up and praise the Lord Whatever you're going through, just sing Come on my soul No, don't you get shy on me Lift up your soul Cause you've got a lion inside Close up and get up and praise the Lord Come on my soul No, don't you get shy on me Lift up your soul Cause you've got a lion inside Close up and get up and praise the Lord So I come up my hands To praise you again and again Cause all that I have is a heart Hallelujah, Hallelujah I'm not in silence I'm nothing else but for the King Except for a heart singing Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Hallelujah, Hallelujah Lord we thank you Hallelujah We thank you Lord

[00:33:34] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_17]
[00:33:34] You are more than enough If we have you and nothing else We have everything We thank you Lord that you are the bread of life You are our daily bread Lord forgive us when we reach and we get And we try and pick up more manna than you said We try and pick up two days worth Three days worth So that we think we have enough But you said pick one day's worth I'm enough for you today Lord help me pick one day's worth of my manna What you've given me We love you You are enough The bread of life We praise you Lord It's in your holy precious name we pray Jesus Amen Amen Welcome to Freedom House So glad you're here with us today If it's your first time here We're so glad you're here Welcome We have a special message from our senior pastors And say hey to someone before you sit down And check out this video We'll be right back

[00:34:48] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[00:34:48] Hey everyone And welcome to Freedom House My name is Troy Maxwell And my wife Penny and I are your senior pastors We are one house With many different rooms And our heart is very simple To help equip you to experience Christ's freedom In your everyday life

[00:35:04] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[00:35:04] We have a big vision here at Freedom House You will notice every week every week at every campus. We have live teachers and preachers. Why do we do that? Because we are relational church. We love connecting and we are not a video venue. You'll also notice over in our kids area, they have the same thing, live teaching, preaching, worship. We're not a babysitting service. They are getting a fresh, relevant word of God, just like you are. And hey, maybe you're

[00:35:36] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[00:35:36] new or you haven't got connected yet. All you got to do is very simple. Just open your phone up, click that little circle on the seat back pocket in front of you and check out all the amazing

[00:35:45] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[00:35:45] things that are happening at your church. That's right. We can't wait to get connected with you.
[00:35:50] Take a look at what's coming up here at Freedom House.

[00:36:06] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_13]
[00:36:06] So here's what I want you to do. Close your eyes. Everybody close your eyes right now. It's the first weekend in February. I want you to think about it. I want you to feel it. Can you feel it? Oh, love is in the air. Now open your eyes. Now, man, you're probably wondering, I don't know what Michael's talking about. Ladies, you're probably thinking, I have no idea what to get my man for Valentine's Day. I have the answer for you, ladies. One word, bacon.
[00:36:33] Oh, yeah.
[00:36:35] That's right.
[00:36:36] This Saturday is our Strong Men's Breakfast. And ladies, you need to sign your man up. It's the greatest gift you can give him. Our men gather together. We're going to worship. We're going to hear a word from Pastor Troy that's going to change our lives. And we are going to eat breakfast. And in that breakfast is going to be some bacon. Now, if you don't have a lady, don't worry. You don't need a lady to get your bacon. You can sign up yourself. All you got to do is go to freedomhouse.cc slash strong. All right, we're going to take a moment to highlight one of the most important things that we're going to talk about today. We're going to talk about the impactful ministries in our church, our FH Kids. What they're doing back in FH Kids is way more than just watching your kids. It's way more than just tossing goldfish out like they're feeding chickens. They are actively ministering and teaching your kids the Word of God. They're helping them understand who Jesus is, and they're laying foundations that will last a lifetime. You know, if you look at research, it shows that the majority of people who decide to follow Christ, they make that decision before their 18th birthday.
[00:37:36] Here's why that matters. We don't believe the kids here at Freedom House are the next generation. We believe they are the now generation. They're not too young to encounter God. They're not too young to impact the kingdom. God is working in their lives right now. That means what's happening back in FH Kids is not just babysitting. It's eternity shaping work. So if you want to be a part of a team that believes in kids, invest in kids, and help shape the kingdom through the now generation, we'd love for you to apply to join our FH Kids team. You can head to freedomhouse.cc slash FH Kids to learn more and change lives.
[00:38:16] So if you remember, when we started this Couch Time, I mentioned Valentine's Day. So in the spirit of Valentine's, I have something special for you, Freedom House.
[00:38:28] I'm really nervous right now, but I really think I'm going to make this official, Freedom House Church. I have a question for you.
[00:38:36] Will you be my Ballantyne? You heard me right. We're kicking off February by inviting you to be a part of launching our new Ballantyne campus because we are one house with many rooms.
[00:38:48] And this month, we're being intentional about preparing for what God is building in the Ballantyne community. No matter what campus you currently attend, there are so many ways to be involved. There's outreach opportunities to connect with the community in Ballantyne. We have Ballantyne Life Groups. You can give towards the launch projects.
[00:39:06] And even join the team that will help launch our Ballantyne campus. If you want to help impact people just like you, I encourage you to get connected with the Ballantyne launch team so we can continue to equip people in our city to experience Christ's freedom in their everyday lives.
[00:39:22] To learn more, go to freedomhouse.cc slash Ballantyne. Or when you go out in the lobby, there's a table and there's a team of people that want to get you more information and you can talk with them. We're excited about what's ahead and we'd love for you to be a part of it.

[00:39:36] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_00]
[00:39:36] For all this and more, download the Freedom House app or head to freedomhouse.cc slash connect.

[00:39:43] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_10]
[00:39:43] What's up, everybody?
[00:39:47] Hey, my name is Matt Henderson. If I have an opportunity to meet you, I would love to out in the lobby right after service. My wife and I get to serve at South End as your campus pastors. And I'm excited to be here today. I'm pumped up because right now I get the opportunity to honor God and lead us in our generosity portion of service.
[00:40:06] We literally honor God with our tithe and our offering. So on the count of three, everybody say honor God with me. One, two, three. Come on, hit me one more time. One, two, three.
[00:40:17] That's right. And I am jacked about 2026. 2026 is going to be a banger. Do you know why? Because we started 2026, the first Saturday of the year with our demo day at our new and upcoming Ballantyne campus.
[00:40:36] Not only were we there to strip down some sheetrock and kick down some doors, we laid prayer. We laid spiritual foundation and prayed over the entire building. Listen to me. Over 50 people came from all three campuses. And we watched through that building, tearing down walls, both spiritually and physically with the expectancy of what God is going to do in 2026.
[00:41:01] Listen, if you weren't available to be, you couldn't be there. I know what you're getting right at home.
[00:41:06] Right now. I know you have a little FOMO. Oh, no, I got the FOMO. Listen to me. There are going to be plenty of opportunities for you to step up and join the team and get your hands dirty. Maybe, maybe it's coming physically to some of these events in the future and literally putting your hands to the plow. Maybe it's Stuart giving financially to the call in Ballantyne. Maybe you're a prayer warrior and you just spend some time praying for the people that are going to come to that campus in the future.
[00:41:36] Whatever it is, no matter what it looks like, we all have a spot on the team from every campus. Listen, there were people driving over an hour on a Saturday morning to come to Ballantyne to help tear down some sheetrock. And when we had sawdust and dry sheetrock, it was a mess, but it was a good mess. Amen. And listen, this is only the beginning. This is only the start, not only to the year, but to what God is going to do. So right now, whatever it is, however, God's tugging on your heart.
[00:42:06] Maybe it's giving financially. Maybe it's praying, spending some time every day when you're praying to the Lord and, and putting out some prayers and, and some believing for and expecting some miracles to happen in Ballantyne. Maybe you're called to be a Ballantyne missionary. Maybe you're being called to commit six months to go physically to establish this campus from day one to, to, to set the tone, the community, the culture, and be the heartbeat from the very first day of all God's work.
[00:42:36] That's going to do in Ballantyne. Amen. So if you're giving today, thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. So if you're praying today, thank you. Thank you so much. If you're showing up and physically laboring for God, for Jesus, thank you. Thank you so much. But I know one thing in my heart, God's got another step for every single one of us, for every single one of us. So let's pray and believe expecting for all he's going to do in our church and in this new campus. Amen.
[00:43:06] Let's pray. Heavenly Father, we thank you. We're so expecting God, not just for today, not for just the people that are here now, but for tomorrow, for next week, for next month, for next year, for the next campus, God, for the families that are going to come. Father, the children that will be there in the, in our kids ministry, God, the auditorium that will be filled with people, the, the people who will come to know you as their Lord and Savior, God, the marriages that will be restored and healed, God, the, the physical healing that, and that we'll see, Father, they're in the midst and you're missed in that place. God, we may not be in that building right now, but you are. We declare your spirit in our Ballantyne campus right now, Father. Fill it, fill it so thick that we can't see, even like we saw with the drywall dust, Father, thicker than that. So we will know that you were there. We will know, and we expect God for, for, for miracles that will happen. We're expecting for so much more than you've already done, God. We, we believe it right now in the mighty name of Jesus. And everybody's said, amen. Amen. You guys enjoy the rest of the service.

[00:44:36] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[00:44:36] What's happening, Freedom House?
[00:44:50] Yay!
[00:44:54] Where's South End at?
[00:44:56] How about some Lake Norman? Where's Lake Norman at?
[00:45:00] Where's Central at?
[00:45:03] Where's the living room at?
[00:45:06] Wait, you forgot one.
[00:45:07] I did. Which one?
[00:45:08] Where's Ballantyne at?
[00:45:09] Where's Ballantyne?
[00:45:13] Wow. What, what a great day to be in the house. We don't forsake the assembling of ourselves together. We show up for church Sunday on Friday. Can I get an amen for that? Isn't that great? I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're joining us online. And I know it's a snow day, but we decided not to have a snow day. We decided to have a come to church day and you are here today.
[00:45:35] And we're coming right into your living room.

[00:45:39] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[00:45:39] And there is some faith in the room.

[00:45:40] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[00:45:40] Yep. We're coming right into your living room.
[00:45:41] There is some faith in the room.
[00:45:42] Now before, hey, before we get into this message, because we got a great message, I'm excited about this message. Where are my men at? Where are all my men at?
[00:45:47] Now, where are my strong men at?
[00:45:51] I want you to get your phones out. I want you to go ahead and register. I'll give you a break for the first five minutes of the message. Just take a breather. Get your phones out. Make sure you register for Strong next Saturday. I know you saw some couch time with Michael. I don't know about you, but it was a little awkward for me. Anybody, any strong men feel a little bit awkward. Okay. Hilarious. Very, very funny. I don't know where Michael is, but there he is right there. That was good. I didn't know where you were going with that

[00:46:17] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[00:46:17] whole thing, but yeah, he said, he said, you may be a little nervous right now.

[00:46:21] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[00:46:21] I was nervous. I was very nervous, but we're going to have an amazing first strong breakfast next Saturday, not tomorrow, but next, next Saturday, eight o'clock, make sure you show up.
[00:46:35] Let's pack this place out. Let's have a time where we can grow in our faith and grow in our connection with each other. Uh, we can learn about Jesus and take the step from believer to disciple.
[00:46:45] Got a great word for you. It's going to be amazing, but what do we have today? What are we going to

[00:46:50] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[00:46:50] talk about this Sunday on Friday? We are kicking off a new series called candy hearts. How many of you remember when you used to do the shoe boxes at school and you would put Valentine's raise your, raise your hand. You can, you can chat online to let us know. And you used to put the little candy hearts in there. And it said things like soulmate, miss you, love you be mine.
[00:47:19] Well, we thought what a great idea. If we take those messages and turn them into a message series all month long. So you and I get to kick it off, which we don't typically get to be together in one place. So we were excited to do that. And we're going to talk about how we can grow in our community. So we're excited to be here with all of you today and all of you online today, getting to come right into your kitchen, your living room, as you make snow cream on your couch, maybe, uh, with

[00:47:48] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[00:47:48] your pajamas on. And so there's little words that are on there. What there's little words that are

[00:47:54] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[00:47:54] on the, on the candy hearts. Yeah. The soulmate be mine. They're little words, but they can have a really big meaning.

[00:48:02] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[00:48:02] I remember when I was in like kindergarten and I remember when I was in like kindergarten and I remember getting four of those little candy hearts from four girls in my kindergarten class.
[00:48:12] I was, I was a pretty good looking kid. I had blonde hair. It was wavy. Um, so with, with that being said, what just wanted to throw that out there, throw the vibes out there.
[00:48:26] So to kick this message off today, I went to the source of all answers. Okay. Uh, some of you are thinking, that would be chat GPT, but we all know that the source of all answers for all relationship issues, problems, challenges is social media because social media is the place that you go to get all because on social media, everything is true. Everything is real and authentic. So to kick this thing off, I thought maybe we could get some advice on relationships from social media. So I went to the source of all answers for all relationship issues, problems,

[00:49:05] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:49:05] social media, roll the clip three texts. You can send your partner after a fight to rebuild the connection. Are you done being dramatic? Invites them to rejoin the conversation while gently reminding them that their emotional episode has run its course. I forgive you for overreacting.
[00:49:21] This lets your partner know you're ready to move forward and offers genuine forgiveness for behavior. They didn't really want to admit to my therapist said, this was your fault. Mentioning a professional's opinion adds credibility and shows you're willing to seek guidance.
[00:49:35] If you want to learn more about social media, go to the source of all relationship issues, problems, challenges, and problems. I'm going to give you a little bit of a tour of social media.

[00:49:39] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[00:49:39] Men, ladies, I mean, is that great advice? That really makes you want to stay forever, doesn't it?
[00:49:46] Which by the way, what we're talking about today is the heart. Do the little heart. Do you like the heart? Hashtag forever. Forever. Forever. How do you have a relationship that lasts forever?

[00:50:00] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[00:50:00] And forever isn't just one decision you make at an altar. It's a decision you keep on making.
[00:50:05] Every single day. And we're going to be talking to marrieds, but also this is, this message is not just for married people because, you know, you've got to think about even as a single person, or maybe you're in a serious relationship or want to get in a relationship, wherever you are on this journey called life, you have to be thinking about this. John Maxwell, uh, uncle John said this, making a decision. Isn't the hard part. It's managing the decision, which is very important.
[00:50:32] It's one thing to make a decision. I'm going to start reading my Bible.
[00:50:35] It's another thing to wake up tomorrow and read your Bible. I'm going to go to the gym. It's nothing. Another thing to go to the gym every single, you know, three, four, five days a week.
[00:50:43] It's it's, it's man. You've had to, you can, it's easy to make the decision. I want to get married.
[00:50:48] I want to have a girlfriend. I want to be in a relationship and that looks good. And we see all the movies about it. And you know, an hour and a half or maybe a sitcom, we got 24 minutes with commercials and everything works out. That's not real life. Real life is deciding that, I'm going to be in this forever. And I'm going to manage that decision every single moment of my life. I want to start with the verse because, um, there's two things that I want us to get is we have to work at it and we have to build it. We have to work at it and we have to build it. Matthew chapter seven, verse 24, Jesus ends the sermon on the Mount by making this statement. He says, therefore, and the therefore is connecting chapter five and chapter six of Matthew says, therefore, whoever hears these sayings of mine and does them doesn't just hear them.
[00:51:35] But does them doesn't just make the decision, but manages the decision. I will liken him. I will liken that marriage. I will liken that family to a wise marriage, a wise relationship, a wise family who builds their marriage, their family, their relationship on the rock. Everybody say on the rock, on the rock, the rain descended, the floods came, the winds blew and beat on that house.
[00:52:00] And it did not fall. It lasted forever or it was founded on the rock, but everyone who hears these sayings of mine and does not do them. Okay. So they hear them, they make the decision, but they don't manage the decision will be like a foolish marriage, a foolish family, a foolish relationship who built the foolish marriage, the foolish family, the foolish relationship on the sand and the rain descended, the floods came, the winds blew and beat on that house and it fell and great was its fall.

[00:52:35] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[00:52:35] Today, we are not here to talk about the perfect marriage because there isn't such a thing.
[00:52:40] And I think sometimes when we go through issues or we go through difficult situations, uh, we wonder, we maybe get into fear and we go, is this going to be forever?
[00:52:53] And we start to question and we start to, you know, wonder where things are going. And I know that there are many couples that are facing things right now. And they're wondering, is this normal? Is this okay? Do other people experience this? What, where are the boundaries?
[00:53:13] What, what is okay? What's not okay. What what's normal. What's not normal. And what we thought we would do is you can't talk about forever unless you know what forever means. It doesn't mean that things are going to be perfect. It doesn't mean that things are always going to be easy. Let's dive in. We're going to do some Q and a, I wanted to throw out there is a question that we get is we said forever, but we're in pain.
[00:53:40] We're in constant pain. Do we quit? Do we quit? Because things are painful. And we think surely God did not intend for me to live in pain the rest of my life. Well, let's talk about that for a second, because I think sometimes people think that pain is bad and it's not pain is literally just an indicator that says, pay attention. Yeah. Think about it. If your stomach is hurting, it's not bad that it's hurting. Your stomach is alerting your brain.
[00:54:11] Something here needs attention and you need to pay attention to it. It's like the check engine light going on in your car. That engine light is not bad, but what it might be revealing is saying, Hey, there's some attention that is needed here. Pain reveals things that are below the surface that possibly we didn't even know was there.
[00:54:34] Some of those things, could look like old wounds. It could look like pride being exposed. It could look like fear. It could look like expectations that have gone unmet. It could look like communication patterns that are getting revealed. Pressure does not create problems. It exposes them.
[00:54:54] So don't look at the fact that there is pain in your marriage as a problem.
[00:55:00] Look at it as an opportunity and get curious about it.
[00:55:05] We've been married for, this year will be 34 years, and we've gone through a lot of pain.

[00:55:10] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[00:55:10] A lot of pain.

[00:55:11] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[00:55:11] And we still go through pain because what happens is marriage is working immaturity out of us.
[00:55:20] And when that immaturity comes to the surface, man, it doesn't feel good.
[00:55:26] It doesn't feel good when there's a spotlight on our issues. So pressure doesn't create problems.
[00:55:32] It just exposes them.
[00:55:35] And I know when we first got married, you know, I married an only child. How many of you are only children? Raise your hand. Come on, let's stick together. Raise your hand. I pray for your spouse. Not only was he an only child, he was an only grandchild. So when I married him, he was never told that he did anything wrong and then he married me. And what am I always saying?
[00:56:02] hey you didn't do this right hey you didn't do that right and it was like woman that is not why i married you to point out all of my issues and when he when he married me you know i'm like i go into hyperdrive where like i'm the fixer and i'm fixing everything and the only child doesn't want everything fixed all the time they want to be left alone don't eat my fries don't touch my like my stuff he the first time i reached over and grabbed one of his fries he said do you need me to go buy you your own i can get you your own fries i was like no i just want one is that a problem and he was like yeah it actually is so i think it's important to understand that when you

[00:56:46] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[00:56:46] get married when you go into a relationship you're not just bringing your body into the marriage you're bringing a lot of different things you're carrying some baggage in there you're carrying and this is important your family systems meaning that we all grew up in a family no matter how functional or dysfunctional they are so we have systems that we carry how we resolve conflict so you have a way that you resolve conflict you carry that into your relationship how you handle money you carry that into how you handle relationships how you handle correction how you handle celebration what does a party look like did you celebrate birthdays or did you skip birthdays did you have a great time at christmas or was it not that big of a deal all of those things are brought to. As a kid, as you're growing up, you are a video camera. You are watching everything, storing it down in your heart so that when you get married, this is how you do it. So for me, I get my own fries. I eat my own fries. You get your own fries. You eat your own fries. That was my system. You know, I'm an only child. I had imaginary friends and now I have a real friend.
[00:57:45] So it was difficult. You know, I had to learn how to deal with my family systems. You know what else you bring into that? Trauma. You bring your trauma. We all have trauma. I remember one time we were having a counseling appointment. This was when we first started doing counseling together and Dr. Chip said, hey, tell me your traumas, Troy. And I'm like, traumas? I've never had any traumas. Yeah, because he'd asked me mine first. And she's like, you know, 30 minutes later, 45 minutes later. I don't even remember. I think it was like the third appointment later. We get to the, to get to my traumas. And I'm like, hey, this is going to be short. I don't have any. I don't know what a trauma, I didn't know what a trauma was because I thought trauma was like you got arrested or something like that. That was a trauma or, you know, I don't know what a trauma was.
[00:58:26] Maybe you got, maybe you killed somebody. No, let me, let me tell you what a trauma is. I looked this up. Trauma is unresolved pain in your body and mind learned, learned to survive, but your heart never got to heal. That's what a trauma is. So trauma is unresolved pain that your body and mind learned to survive. And now when, when, when you look, when I look at that definition, I have a lot of trauma because I grew up in an only family. My, my, my mom was by our self. She dealt drugs, all of this. There was men in and out of my house.

[00:59:01] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[00:59:01] Here was the lookout, lookout guys. So she could deal drugs.

[00:59:04] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[00:59:04] So, so what else do you bring? You bring your habits into the marriage, good or bad. You bring your unmet needs or your unrealistic expectations. And the big one that you bring in is you bring in your belief systems. These are the values. This is how you think about systems. You bring in your BS. That's exactly right. So when those things collide, it doesn't mean that your marriage is broken. No, God is using, you each other to help work out those things so that you can be whom God created you both to be marriage is supposed to bring out our immaturity. I say this all the time. Marriage is not meant to make you happy. It's meant to grow you up. Okay. Marriage is not meant to make you happy because that's what we look for. We just thought, well, if I get married, I'm going to be happy. Okay.
[00:59:48] That's probably going to last about a week. And then you come home from your honeymoon.
[00:59:53] Okay. Two weeks, if you got some money. So I'm just saying, you're not going to be happy forever. Now there's going to be great times of happiness and enjoyment, but most of it is hard work. Proverbs 27, 17. We use this a lot when it comes to men as iron sharpens iron. So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend. We always think about in regards to men, let me throw, let me throw a little twist in it as iron sharpens iron. So a spouse sharpens the countenance of his spouse. So it's not just about men sharpening each other.
[01:00:24] This is also each other.
[01:00:26] It's about each other helping grow and mature. So quitting may feel very tempting when pain has no purpose. But when you believe that pain has a purpose, all this friction that you're dealing with right now pushes us closer to God and we grow closer together.

[01:00:43] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:00:43] Because when, when you hit iron and iron together, what do you get?

[01:00:46] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:00:46] Sparks, lots of sparks.

[01:00:48] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:00:48] And sometimes we don't understand that sparks are not a bad thing.

[01:00:52] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:00:52] That's right. That's right.

[01:00:53] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:00:53] Not if we have the right purpose in mind.

[01:00:56] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:00:56] Right?

[01:00:57] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:00:57] And so that's, that's a really good question.
[01:00:59] It's a really good question.
[01:01:00] And I want to go back to the question number two.
[01:01:02] You ready for number two?
[01:01:03] Okay. Number two.
[01:01:03] Okay. Here's number two.
[01:01:05] How can I forgive when the same issue keeps popping up over and over and over again?
[01:01:12] How can I forgive?
[01:01:13] Well, here is the root of that.
[01:01:15] First of all, forgiveness, isn't the issue here.
[01:01:19] We are commanded to forgive if we are Christians and if we have been forgiven, we are commanded to forgive.
[01:01:25] at hand. I think really what this question means is how do I trust after trust has been broken?
[01:01:32] And trust can be broken. I think a lot of times people just think infidelity. And although that is huge and that is tragic, it also can be like maybe somebody didn't handle the finances well, or maybe somebody had a drinking habit, or maybe somebody didn't communicate well, and it was a constant issue or constant problem. So I think there is a difference when we talk about forgiveness. Forgiveness deals with the past, what you did. I can forgive you for the past, for what you did. And we're commanded to do that. We're commanded to, but it doesn't necessarily mean that I trust you for the future. Trust is future. That has to be earned. It's not freely given, but there's something in the middle. So Ephesians 4.32 says,

[01:02:18] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:02:18] and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, and Christ forgave you. So when you think about this idea of forgiveness, there's forgiveness, and then trust, and then there's the in-between. The in-between is the hard part that we have to navigate in our relationship, because the in-between takes time. It takes process.
[01:02:40] It takes dealing with each other. It takes connecting with each other. And so what ends up happening in a relationship is we want forgiveness, and then we want them to trust us tomorrow when there's no change.
[01:02:53] Behavior. So forgive me. Okay, I forgive you, but I need to see a difference in the pattern.
[01:02:59] So that in-between part may take some time. And time doesn't just heal everything. I know we think that if time healed everything, the time we spent in the waiting room at the doctor's office would provide healing, but how many know it doesn't? Okay, you're just wondering, hey, look, I was here on time. Where are you at, doc? But no offense to the doctors. Colossians 3, verse 13, it says, bearing with one another and forgiving one another. Matthew 6, verse 14, for if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
[01:03:28] Matthew 18, right after he talks about how to deal with sin between you and someone else, Jesus says, because Peter asked him, how many times should I forgive? Seventy times seven.
[01:03:39] So the issue isn't the forgiveness. The issue is the time between I forgave you and I want to trust you. So what is it going to take for that trust to be reestablished?

[01:03:53] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:03:53] That's really good. And for us, I know, and I know because we have talked to many of you and we've been doing this a long time. If you keep having the same fight over and over, it doesn't automatically mean you're just stubborn. It means you're stuck. There's a cycle there that needs to be broken. It needs to be exposed. And cycles aren't moral failures. I want you to hear that. They're unexamined patterns.
[01:04:23] What patterns do I need to pay attention to that keep causing me to get stuck? And listen, this could be in friendships. It could be in work relationships. Anything that might could trigger us.

[01:04:35] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:04:35] It could be in your own life, in relationships. So you seem to date the same guy over and over, the same girl over and over and over. You get your heart broken over and over. That's a cycle that is being repeated. And it's not a moral failure. It's just something that needs to be

[01:04:50] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:04:50] examined. Yeah. And you can't, you can't, crucify what you don't identify. And with us, and I'm sure many of you are like this. Let me give you one of our cycles. I feel unheard. So I get louder. You get louder. I shut down. You shut down. I feel abandoned. Does anybody resonate with that? You see, the cycle is the enemy, not your spouse.
[01:05:17] And if we can really hone in on, it wasn't you that ticked me off. You, are dealing with some things from your past. Like I'm dealing with some things from my past and we both need healing, but we have to reveal what's underneath of it. That undercurrent that keeps pulling us down because forgiveness isn't optional. We automatically forgive, but we've got to start building trust. And with those cycles stay in place, we can't build that trust. Proverbs 20 verse five says, the purpose is of a person who is not a person who is not a person's heart are deep waters. Do you remember when Jesus was talking to the woman at the well and he began to talk to her and she was like, well, you don't, you don't have anything to draw with. And, and then she makes this comment. She's like, this well is deep. Some of us have a deep well, and we're going to need something to pull that water out, to pull what's underneath out.
[01:06:19] And that happens when we start to examine and acknowledge patterns. And one of the things that we try really hard to do is when we get triggered on, on something, do you know what I mean? When I say triggered, when, when you, you start to feel this, this something come up and you get anxious or you get angry and it seems like you just kind of, it's like, okay, where did that come from? And he asked me the other day, he saw me respond to something that he said. And he, he said, when I just, when I just read this and I read this, and I said, no, she said, well, you didn't think you were going to hear it. And he said, I'm glad you're here, but I'm not. You're not.
[01:07:03] I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. And then he said, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.
[01:07:10] And I said, well, you, you're not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not.
[01:07:15] And I said, it reminds me of my mother. And that's not a good thing. And immediately he was able to go to, what is that? Where is that? Why did you respond like that? It's like you throw a pebble in a pond and you get a tidal wave. Whenever that happens, there's always something at the root of it and we have to pay attention.

[01:07:23] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:07:23] yeah i think it's i think it's really really good because patterns change when curiosity replaces defense so in your marriage instead of being defensive when someone is activated or triggered get curious ask questions like hey what's going on inside right now or why did i do that yeah or what's going tell me tell me what's happening right now so the escalation i get louder all that stuff once you once you get curious instead of going i'm going to shut down or i'm going to push you away you're getting louder there's a reason why he or she is doing that if you can dig a little bit get curious about what's going on instead of just and just instead of just being defensive or getting louder or yelling and assuming and trying to gain back control what you're doing is you're trying to connect with them so you can deal with the trauma because god has put you together for a reason and that trauma would be your only answer and trauma needs to be healed. And a lot of people don't know how to do it themselves. So God puts you with a maid, with somebody who loves you and cares for you. That'll pull it out. And, and that, that's the, and, and pulls you together in that process. But it doesn't feel loving at the moment.

[01:08:32] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:08:32] Does it feel loving when the dentist pulls your rotten tooth? No. It doesn't feel good in the moment, but it's for our benefit, right? Right. Your spouse is not your enemy. That's good.

[01:08:43] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:08:43] Your spouse is not your enemy. Don't treat your spouse is not your competition.
[01:08:50] Tear the scoreboard down in your house. When you go home tonight, just tear it down.
[01:08:54] It's not about winning. It's about connecting and completing each other and helping each other grow closer to God. All right. Let me hit, let me hit question number three. What if you don't feel love all the time? Welcome to the world. That's right. Well, you know, we just, we don't feel, I got this question. I got this question. I got this question. I got this question. I got this question. I do this thing called hot seat on Instagram. And, and somebody sent that question.
[01:09:16] What if I don't feel like I want to be married to them anymore? What if I don't feel this way?
[01:09:22] This is normal. And it is the place where many good marriages panic. I'll make a statement to you. Ready? You may want to write that. I'm going to say it twice. So you may want to write this down. Feelings change because chemistry was never meant to carry your covenant.
[01:09:41] Feelings change.
[01:09:43] Because chemistry or feelings were never meant to carry your covenant. God never asked feelings to lead your marriage. He asked love to. Okay. So let's talk about love for a second, because this is important because most of us equate love with a feeling, but those feelings can wear off over time, a goose bump or a song. That's our song. So when we hear that song, you know, it's just, ah, I just love you. No, when I hear that song, I hate you right now. Like I don't even want to be near you. It reminds me of all the crap that you're putting me through right now. And this sucks, but I'm in a covenant. And God said that my marriage is not directed by how I feel because sometimes I'm not going to feel, it's not going to feel good. So I did, I did a little study you know there's four major greek words that are used in the greek language for love okay four major words the first one is eros e-r-o-s and this is the word attraction or that's the sexual side of love it's the sensual side it's based a lot on the goodness of the object as long as you're good then i feel connected to you attracted to you you know as long as i'm good you feel attracted to me there's sensuality that it's not but here's the interesting thing that is not present in the new testament the word eros is not in the new testament at all storge is another one sorge is another word for love you know we have one word for love in english language you know so i can say i love i love penny and i also love cheeseburgers now you know that i love cheeseburgers differently than i love penny most of the time because but you but you understand and the distinction between those loves well greek the greek language has a different word for each one of those storge is the is like family affection it's a love for a child okay then the third one by the way that one is not in the new testament it's not found in the new testament now there's there's the foundation word is not in the new testament now there are parts of that word that's thrown into other words that are used but it's very very less than 10 times in the new testament the word philia which is friendship this is the friendship word all right it's only found one time in the new testament at its root and it's talking about being friends with the world in james chapter 4.
[01:12:16] but then there's the most popular word in the new testament the one that god used the most as a noun and a verb and it's the it's the greek word agape okay this is the dominant word in the bible and when the christian writers what wrote the bible they used this word when jesus talked about love he used this word agape is an inward affection of another of one for another that manifests itself manifests itself in an outgoing concern and it's a love that doesn't necessarily involve emotion so when god talks about agape we talks about that that's the kind of love that keeps us in covenant it shows up a hundred and sixteen times as a noun and 143 times as a verb now would you think that god wants that that kind of love to be in a relationship between a husband and a wife that's good it's not built on feelings it's built on a covenant so love is patient love is kind it keeps showing up it bears all things it believes all things it's it's not

[01:13:23] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:13:23] based on feelings yeah so those are actually behaviors yes they're not feelings you notice the difference i think that's really important and you know i want to say this is when we get into a new relationship there's all the little butterflies that you get all the you know feelings that you get and i think that couples when they've been married for a long time and they don't still have those butterflies or you know they're not feeling those feelings they think something is wrong well what happens is maturity and security replace butterflies and that security is what lasts butterflies fly away but roots are what go deep and so security is supposed to replace infatuation and that is a normal progression very good so the mundane is not the enemy in your marriage neglect is and there's a difference so you have to work

[01:14:26] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:14:26] on the romance you really do i mean the old the longer you're married you know we'll get there you have to we'll talk about that in a few minutes you have to work on that um so here's question number four okay it's a big one that we get all the time how do we deal with grief in our marriage i was talking to my uh guy that handles some stuff at my house and he told me in the last 10 days he had three grandmothers pass away and man he was struggling well i can't imagine the effect that that has had on his marriage because it does grief has an effect on your marriage so infertility we grieve through that mental health struggle mental health struggles mental health struggles mental health struggles mental health struggles sickness loss of identity career loss of a career bankruptcy maybe blended family challenges maybe there's issues with kids that are from another marriage and things happen with them that we have to end up dealing we feel like that we're always getting hit and we just need a breath yeah grief does change a marriage but it doesn't have to end it good so we have to learn and we the way we we deal with it is we acknowledge the hurt we acknowledge the pain the loss and we don't blame god and we don't blame each other okay so we don't go up and we don't go this way with it i love what the bible says in psalms 34 it says god is close to the broken hearted don't ever forget that no matter no matter how uh grief-stricken you may be feeling in this moment god is close to you i think he's closer to you than somebody who isn't brokenhearted in the sense of he is there for you his presence is there for you second corinthians 6 verse 10 it says sorrowful yet always rejoicing i love romans 8 35 of the amplified it says who shall separate us from christ's love shall suffering and affliction and tribulation or calamity and distress or persecution or hunger or destitution or parrot or sword nothing can separate you from god's love romans 5 in the same amplified it says moreover let us also be full of joy now let us exalt and triumph in our troubles and rejoice in our sufferings knowing that pressure and affliction and hardship produce patient and unswerving endurance a marriage that has been through grief is a very strong marriage it says an endurance or fortitude develops maturity of character approved faith and tried integrity and character of this sort it produces the habit of joyful and confident hope of eternal salvation such hope never disappoints and deludes or shames us for god's love has been poured out in our hearts through the holy spirit

[01:17:04] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:17:04] who has been given to us wow i think that's really good and i think one of the things that we have to learn in marriage and honestly in life uh i was at the hairdressers one time and it was one of the longer appointments the ladies know what i mean and i was sitting there in the chair and by the time i was in that chair i had gotten phone call after phone call after phone call after phone call and she said to me i don't know how you do it i've listened to you sit and pray with person after person after person after person and that's what i don't know how you do it i witness hasnen i know you Medly Gear i work with the people that're a lot of help to me and i say i was somehow Tasmanian and not even a short but delicious man that's the last thing i learned to me which was story in everything that lady said after person one of the things that we have to do in marriage and we have to honestly do in life is learn how to hold both grief and joy simultaneously you can be grieving a situation and still be able to hold joy in your heart and the bible never asks us to pick one it never says that you you if you feel grief you can't feel joy or if you feel joy you can't feel grief we can hold them both simultaneously grief can change your capacity sometimes in your marriage but it should never change your commitment sometimes you you might not be able to give as much as you were before but you should let your spouse know my commitment is still as strong hey i'm processing this hey i know when we were struggling with infertility issues it did not weigh on him like it weighed on me and and i felt this sense of loss and grief and all of this and and he didn't quite know what to do because i wasn't like my normal self i was struggling and what we can do is we can be honest about what we're feeling honest about what

[01:18:46] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:18:46] we're walking through just be curious and what you do is you go hey i don't know what to do i don't know how to handle this and i need your help i know you're struggling here and i want to be there for you and so help me let's

[01:19:01] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:19:01] learn together because you can feel disconnected you can feel disconnected when you're grieving and especially if it's something if you've had infertility issues or if you've had lots of miscarriages sometimes you feel like you just can't catch a break and you want to make sure this doesn't suffer and you want to make sure like we said that you don't blame god either

[01:19:20] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:19:20] all right let's do this is question number five all right this is a big one this is a big one we have different libidos we didn't know if there would be some kids in here so different sexual appetites how do we make that work how do we work out having because we do our age makes a difference there's lots of different things that we can talk about but different desire levels is not necessarily the problem it's two people becoming one the gender makes a difference god created man and woman to complement each other i love what the bible says in first corinthians chapter seven says the husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs and all the men said yes lord later tonight the wife should fulfill her husband's needs and all the women said yes we will the wife gives authority over her body to her husband and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife do not deprive each other of sexual relations unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intercourse with each other unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time for one thing prayer that's it that's the only thing limited is limited well just you decide an hour afterward you should come together again so that satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control this this passage right here it's about mutuality not entitlement okay that's important sex is about serving it's about honoring each other it's not pressure it's not about guilt and it's definitely not about control okay we cannot use sex as a way of controlling each other right yep so talk about how it changes how our libido changes over time well i think there

[01:21:19] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:21:19] are different things that can affect it stress is a big one when i was talking about in the last one grief um that can also you can feel dull you can feel not in the mood and i i know there's a lot of people who think uh that you're getting a little more girls this is a thing that we shouldn't do but when we get to a point where we actually do some of that we feel that we actually are in the right order and we can't do it and so you know what i'm saying i know that age is a big thing particularly if you marry somebody that is not within your age range hormones are a big thing we deal with those as women every 28 days then there's there's menopause then there's testosterone ups and downs uh for men those are big things there's past trauma we have talked with and dealt and particularly women hold things differently if a woman has been sexually abused and and there has not been healing there then every encounter with her husband she could be processing through that and that's something that god needs to heal now what what gets difficult there's also relationship dynamics if you know can we talk about the spaghetti and waffle sure you can talk about that like i'm spaghetti in other words my emotions i'm just like here you go here's everything and and troy's not wired that way i'm i'm a waffle men are waffles he's got these little compartments that fill up with serp so we can get in an argument we can get in an argument

[01:22:46] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:22:46] and then i can be naked in like five minutes i said there's no there there is no there's no repentance forgiveness needs to happen but do you know what i'm saying between this quadrant and this quadrant right here right he's a walk help me out man don't just laugh at me just don't shout me down i mean this is true yeah all right but women don't work like that i heard this actually when we were working on this the last couple days women don't tell you what they're thinking they tell you what they feel men don't tell you what they feel they tell you what they're thinking okay so the difference is women are emotional men are logical for the most women women emote women emote and men calculate okay i'll give you an example oh no your woman says get out of the house leave right now don't do it have i ever said that no i don't think so but but i'm just saying i'm using a very okay big i may have thought it situation i i definitely have thought it most most of the time and i'm generalizing here but i'd i'd probably say 85 to 90 of the time what comes out of the mouth of the woman is a feeling and it's not actually been thought about a whole lot we're honest so you got to dig into those feelings now the guy has thought about it analyzed it but he hasn't felt it yet which is dangerous so both have its own danger okay so we have to understand how we work together so women are spaghetti they just kind of send all these little tentacles out they're all

[01:24:38] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:24:38] over the place and by golly why didn't you get what we said yeah exactly right so men can we

[01:24:44] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:24:44] can compartmentalize which which makes it good for us you know if you if you go back you know we can go out we can kill the food come back eat it and it's not a problem we can kill bambi out of the air bring it in we can eat it and we don't think about bambi she ain't killing bambi and bringing it home she's she's petting bambi she's feeding bambi and we're eating you know uh lettuce not bambi we because men can compartmentalize and women are spaghetti so they're they're just two different types of thinking and when you understand that it helps you work through the unintentional things that happen in in a relationship that you're able to navigate and again i'm generalizing here but it it works out most of the time you know sex thrives not when desire is equal but when love is mutual okay so the desire may not be there all the time that's okay but when you love each other you're not going to use it as a weapon and that's what i see most of the time we see most of the time in in relationships is they use it as a weapon well i'm not going to give you any as unless you change this okay That is pushing your spouse away, big time.
[01:25:59] Or if you have kids and the kids become the thing that takes up all the time, all the energy, and you never leave any for your spouse, that is dangerous.
[01:26:08] And it can cause lots of problems in a relationship.
[01:26:11] And look, we're not excusing porn.
[01:26:14] None of those things that can happen.
[01:26:16] It's emotional relationships.
[01:26:18] And now it's social media where girls are posting pictures of themselves online and they're just wanting people to give them likes and they're using that as an intimate level of emotional connection.
[01:26:28] That is very unhealthy, okay?
[01:26:31] And it's the social media porn that the men do.
[01:26:36] I'm not saying one is better or one is worse than the other.
[01:26:39] What I'm saying is, is that when we get out of connection and desire and intimacy, and sex is not intimacy.
[01:26:47] Intimacy is way more than that.
[01:26:49] It's a connection that we have with each other and you have to work at it.
[01:26:53] And it requires work and effort, right?

[01:26:56] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:26:56] Yeah.

[01:26:56] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:26:56] I mean, it really does.

[01:26:58] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:26:58] Yeah.
[01:26:58] The last thing that we want to end on is, and this is a really great question, is what are the biggest things that we have learned being married for 34 years?

[01:27:11] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:27:11] Like the big overarching thing.

[01:27:13] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:27:13] Like the big, if I had to look back, so we've been together for 36 years.
[01:27:16] We've been married for 34 of those.
[01:27:19] I would say the biggest thing for me, and I would encourage, everybody to learn this, is when we started learning about attachment styles.

[01:27:28] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:27:28] It's a big one.

[01:27:29] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:27:29] Because we grew up so differently.
[01:27:32] We had so many things that we had to overcome in our past, from life, from things that hurt us.
[01:27:39] And when we started studying attachment styles, and attachment styles are basically those foundational years.
[01:27:48] What happened with the people who were supposed to be your caregivers?
[01:27:52] And you develop, you develop attachment styles and even though, and I would encourage everybody to go take the test and figure this out, what your attachment style is.
[01:28:03] When I took the test though, it did show that it said I was, my attachment style was normal.
[01:28:13] And I looked at all four of them, because there's four of them.
[01:28:16] And I said, you know what?
[01:28:19] Even though I tested this way, I really resonate with this over time.
[01:28:23] And I said, you know what?
[01:28:24] I'm not gonna do this over here.
[01:28:26] Because I know if I feel safe, it's easy for me to tuck away, like what really my default is.
[01:28:33] And I started looking and the anxious attachment, I could really see myself in.
[01:28:39] And let me tell you just a little bit about that.
[01:28:42] What it looks like, is it looks like when my kids wouldn't come home when they said they were, and they were late, I'd be looking at the clock.
[01:28:53] I'd be looking at my phone going, are they in a ditch?
[01:28:56] Did something happen?
[01:28:57] You know, you start rabbit trailing in your brain, right.
[01:29:01] Or, if Troy's flight didn't land on time, I'm looking and I'm checking.
[01:29:07] It's these patterns that you develop and you take those into your marriage.
[01:29:12] And I noticed that about myself, but I didn't notice that until I started to learn about attachment styles.
[01:29:19] And our attachment styles are very, very different.
[01:29:22] And if we aren't careful, what we can do is we can put pressure on a relationship when we don't really know how we're hardwired and things that are beneath the surface.
[01:29:34] So I would say for me that what happens for me is things that were unresolved in my childhood, rather than just admit how hurt or how broken or sad I was, that felt really weak to me.
[01:29:49] And so it would come out more as anger or control.
[01:29:54] And for me, anger felt more powerful.
[01:29:57] But anger is often grief in armor.
[01:30:04] And so that is something that I feel like in our marriage, I have had to really learn a lot about.

[01:30:09] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:30:09] And I would agree that the attachment stuff has been really good because I function more in the avoidance side.
[01:30:16] Because I grew up by myself.
[01:30:19] I'm self-independent.
[01:30:21] I was alone most of the time.
[01:30:23] That's where I felt secure.
[01:30:25] And her attachment style is pursuing needing connection.
[01:30:30] I'm like, whoa.
[01:30:30] So I come after as anxious.
[01:30:32] Whoa, hold on a second.

[01:30:33] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:30:33] And avoidant goes the other way.
[01:30:35] So it's this constant.

[01:30:37] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:30:37] So I feared getting too close.
[01:30:40] And if you get too close, you're going to really see who I am and my failures and my shame and all this stuff.
[01:30:46] I'm not enough.
[01:30:48] And all these things are happening.
[01:30:49] So this was a big revelation for us that we had.
[01:30:53] So let's kind of land this plane today and kind of finish with this thought.
[01:31:02] Learn to be a safe person.
[01:31:04] And what I mean by that is not perfect because you're not perfect.
[01:31:07] Nobody's going to be perfect.
[01:31:10] Nobody's perfect except Jesus.
[01:31:12] Jesus is our perfection.
[01:31:14] And he comes and he changes us.
[01:31:17] So what does that mean?
[01:31:18] What does it mean?
[01:31:19] It means to be safe.
[01:31:19] It means to be emotionally predictable.
[01:31:22] It means that you're not weaponizing your honesty.
[01:31:25] It means that you own your mistakes.
[01:31:27] You take responsibility.
[01:31:30] Now, this isn't going to happen overnight.
[01:31:33] It's going to take practice.
[01:31:34] It's going to take working together, deciding.
[01:31:38] A safe person is not someone who never hurts you.
[01:31:40] It's someone who takes responsibility when they do.

[01:31:43] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:31:43] Wow.

[01:31:44] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:31:44] Okay?

[01:31:45] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:31:45] Wow.

[01:31:45] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:31:45] So I want to be safe as a husband.
[01:31:47] It doesn't mean I'm not going to hurt her.
[01:31:49] You know, it doesn't mean that what I do is not going to touch the trauma that she has.
[01:31:55] And I need to be there.
[01:31:57] And I can't blame her for that.
[01:31:59] I need to take responsibility and be that person that she comes to in those situation.
[01:32:05] Now, let me give you just a health tip.
[01:32:08] Okay?
[01:32:09] I'm going to give you a health tip on how to see if your marriage, your relationship is healthy.
[01:32:14] So here's the determinant.
[01:32:15] I've said this before, but I'm going to say it again.
[01:32:17] Health.
[01:32:19] Is the speed of recovery.

[01:32:21] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:32:21] So good.

[01:32:22] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:32:22] So how do I know if my marriage is healthy?
[01:32:24] Well, how long does it take for you to recover?
[01:32:28] Okay?
[01:32:28] So you get into a rupture.
[01:32:29] You have a problem.
[01:32:31] How long does it take you to recover?
[01:32:32] Does it take an hour?
[01:32:35] Does it take three days?

[01:32:37] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:32:37] So good.

[01:32:38] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:32:38] Does it take a week?
[01:32:40] Does it take a month, a year?
[01:32:43] Or are you just piling on success, kids, success, Christianity, ministry, on top of unresolved pain?
[01:32:55] That's not healthy.
[01:32:57] Healthy is recovering quickly.
[01:33:00] And we've learned.

[01:33:01] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[01:33:01] And are still learning.

[01:33:03] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:33:03] And still learning that when we have a, we call it a rupture.
[01:33:06] When we have a problem, when our stuff, you know, her hypervigilance hits my avoidant.

[01:33:14] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:33:14] It's like I'm chasing and he's running.

[01:33:16] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:33:16] I'm running away.
[01:33:17] I'm running away.
[01:33:17] like leave me alone heaven leave me alone you know just leave me alone well what so so i'm not asking you just i want you to think about it i want you to talk about it i want you to spend some time thinking about it once you stand up we're going to pray here and i want to invite you you know we started in matthew chapter 7 and i have two questions for you and we're just going to open the altar today and you can create your own altar right there in your home right there just push your your coffee table out of the way um you know put your coffee down put your whatever you're doing right now and i want you just to focus on is my life founded on the rock is my life built built upon jesus christ and him only okay this is where it all starts independent of your relationship with your spouse or your future relationships is your is your life your house your life founded on the rock because if it's not that's where it all begins i don't i don't believe that you can have a successful anything without god your life is going to be a struggle and very difficult without starting on the foundation because the rains are going to come the wind's going to blow the thunder's going to going to going to challenge you all of that the storms of life are going to come against you but is your life founded on the rock if it's not how about you start today right now how about you say i'm going to found it it's not built on your success it's not built on how much money you have it's not built on how even good your family is okay it's built on the rock so if you're here today and you say my life is not built on the rock in just a moment i want you to come up to this altar and we're going to we're going to we're going to we're going to build something we're going to start we're going to tear down that old thing and we're going to build it on the rock and and if you're married if you're married and you know that your marriage is not built on the rock guess what it's time to start and i want to challenge you husbands you know it's not you lead the way shouldn't be wives bringing their husbands up here it should be husbands bringing their wives up here because you're the one that's responsibility responsible for that family you're the one that's to do the carpentry work in building the foundation of that family and you can start so father we thank you for today we thank you for your word we thank you for a strong foundation we thank you for jesus who came to this earth and he shed like we sing about it his precious blood this blood that comes and it washes us clean of our mistakes our own plans our own idols our own desires lord we thank you that we can come to you lord and we can give you our lives and that blood that we sing about can wash us clean and we can begin to re rebuild our lives our families our relationships upon if you're single in this room and if you're single you want to really build a great foundation, it starts on the rock, not who you meet, but on the rock. It starts on with a relationship with Jesus Christ. So Father, we love you today.
[01:36:59] We love you. We honor you today and we welcome you in Jesus name. And I want to invite you, we're going to sing this chorus and I want to invite you to come and get out of your seats and come and just have an altar moment, just a moment with God. And in your own words as you come, if you're married, just say, Lord, we want to build our house, our family, our relationship on the rock. If you're single, if you're here and just, I want to build my life, Lord, on that rock.
[01:37:29] We're going to sing and just have a moment of worship and then we're going to close this service out. But I want you to come and just get out of your seat. Let's have a time where we can come and just get before God.
[01:37:41] Maybe just press the reset button and start over. Anything you wanted to say?

[01:37:45] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:37:45] No, I just, I know that there are people that are watching online too from all over the world right now. And I don't want you to feel like you're overlooked. You are included in this.
[01:37:57] Like Pastor Troy said, move the coffee table out if you need to. But while we in this room are worshiping and recommitting and reestablishing, we want to make sure that you are as well.
[01:38:11] So all of us, amen.

[01:38:14] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_14]
[01:38:14] So we're going to sing and just get out of your seat and come.
[01:38:27] Hallelujah.

[01:38:31] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[01:38:31] I know it's not much. I'm nothing else but for a king.
[01:38:37] Except for a heart singing, God.

[01:38:41] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[01:38:41] Hallelujah, hallelujah.
[01:38:48] So I throw up my hands and praise you again and again.
[01:38:55] Cause all that I have is a hallelujah, hallelujah.
[01:39:07] I know it's not much. I'm nothing else but for a king.

[01:39:11] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[01:39:11] I know it's not much. I'm nothing else but for a king.
[01:39:13] Except for a heart singing, hallelujah, hallelujah.

[01:39:25] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[01:39:25] So I throw up my hands and praise you again and again.
[01:39:33] Cause all that I have is a hallelujah, hallelujah.
[01:39:38] So I throw up my hands and praise you again and again.
[01:39:40] Cause all that I have is a hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah.
[01:39:44] And I know it's not much. But I'm nothing else but for a king.
[01:39:52] Except for a heart singing, hallelujah, hallelujah.
[01:40:01] Sing, come on my soul.
[01:40:03] Come on my soul.
[01:40:05] Don't you get shy on me.
[01:40:07] Lift up your hands.
[01:40:08] Lift up your soul.
[01:40:10] Cause you've got a lion inside of those lungs.
[01:40:14] Get up and praise the Lord.
[01:40:21] Come on my soul.
[01:40:23] Don't you get shy on me.
[01:40:26] Lift up your soul.
[01:40:28] Cause you've got a lion inside of those lungs.
[01:40:33] Get up and praise the Lord.
[01:40:38] Come on my soul.
[01:40:39] Don't you get shy on me.
[01:40:40] Lift up your soul.
[01:40:41] Cause you've got a lion inside of those lungs.
[01:40:42] Get up and praise the Lord.
[01:40:43] Come on my soul.
[01:40:44] Don't you get shy on me.
[01:40:45] Lift up your soul.
[01:40:46] Cause you've got a lion inside of those lungs.
[01:40:47] Get up and praise the Lord.
[01:40:48] Come on my soul.
[01:40:49] Don't you get shy on me.
[01:40:50] Lift up your soul.
[01:40:51] Cause you've got a lion inside of those lungs.
[01:40:52] Get up and praise the Lord.
[01:40:53] Come on my soul.
[01:40:54] Don't you get shy on me.
[01:40:55] Lift up your soul.
[01:40:56] Cause you've got a lion inside of those lungs.
[01:40:57] Get up and praise the Lord.
[01:40:58] Come on my soul.
[01:40:59] Don't you get shy on me.
[01:41:00] Lift up your soul.
[01:41:01] Cause you've got a lion inside of those lungs.
[01:41:02] Try to lift up your soul Cause You've got life inside of us To give up and praise the Lord So So praise the Lord Praise the Lord So I throw up my hands So I throw up my hands And praise You again and again Cause all that I have is a Hallelujah Hallelujah I know it's not much And I've nothing to sit for So here I am So here I am I know it's not much And I've nothing to sit for So here I am

[01:42:04] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[01:42:04] Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah Hallelujah He loves us Oh how He loves us Oh how He loves us

[01:42:30] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[01:42:30] Oh how He loves us He loves us He loves us, oh how He loves us Oh how He loves us, oh how He loves He loves us, oh how He loves us Oh how He loves us, oh how He loves For so we are His portion and He is our prize Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes But if His grace is grace If His grace is grace Then He is drawing new in our lives And we are His equal He loves us Oh how He loves us He loves us Yes, He loves us, oh, He loves us He loves us, oh, He loves us Oh, how we love You, oh, how we love You Oh, how we love You, oh, how we love You Oh, how we love You, oh, how we love You Oh, how we love You, oh, how we love You Oh, how we love You, oh, how we love You Oh, how we love You Oh, we love You Oh, how we love You Oh, how

[01:45:55] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[01:45:55] Oh, how Sing that one more time.
[01:46:02] Oh, we love You Oh, how we love You Oh, how we love You

[01:46:16] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_05]
[01:46:16] Come on, so I throw up.

[01:46:21] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[01:46:21] So I throw up my hands And praise You again and again Cause all that I have is a highway The way that I live Hallelujah, hallelujah And I know it's not much I'm nothing else fit for my King Except for a heart singing

[01:46:53] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_05]
[01:46:53] Hallelujah, hallelujah Come on, give Him praise today.
[01:47:05] Hallelujah, hallelujah Amen Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah Hallelujah, hallelujah

[01:47:17] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[01:47:17] Aren't you thankful that He loves us?
[01:47:21] Aren't you thankful that no matter what we've done No matter where we've been That He still loves us?
[01:47:29] He's a good God, isn't He?
[01:47:32] He's a good Father He loves us.
[01:47:36] He cares for us.
[01:47:38] His Word says He lavishes His love over you, lavishes blessings over you.
[01:47:45] Aren't you thankful, church?
[01:47:47] Aren't you thankful?
[01:47:49] Can we just give it up one more time for the Almighty Creator of the universe, Alpha and Omega, our Heavenly Father?
[01:47:59] Come on.
[01:48:01] So good.
[01:48:02] So good.
[01:48:04] So powerful.
[01:48:06] Whoo!
[01:48:09] Man, I think we should do Sunday on Friday more often.
[01:48:14] What do y'all think?
[01:48:16] I keep getting text messages of people going, so when we doing this again?
[01:48:20] I'm like, well, check the forecast out.
[01:48:24] Listen, we are so glad that you guys chose to be in church today.
[01:48:29] Give yourselves a pat on the back.
[01:48:32] Come on.
[01:48:33] Glad that you guys came and online.
[01:48:37] You guys pulled up your couch, moved your coffee table aside, and you worshiped your Father today.
[01:48:42] I believe that God did something really powerful in each one of us tonight.
[01:48:48] And I think we saw the Spirit move like never before.
[01:48:51] And listen, I believe this is just the beginning.
[01:48:55] Because when people will humble themselves and repent before the Lord, what does the Scripture say?
[01:49:02] It says, He hears from heaven, and He will heal our land.
[01:49:08] I believe that revival is upon us.
[01:49:11] But listen, that's not what I'm up here supposed to be saying.
[01:49:14] So zip it.
[01:49:15] What I am supposed to be saying is, hey, if this was your first time at Freedom House, welcome home.
[01:49:20] Glad that you're here.
[01:49:22] If you joined us for the first time online, welcome home.
[01:49:27] We're so glad that you're here.
[01:49:29] And listen, we have a next step for you right outside the auditorium at Gethsemane.
[01:49:33] We want to meet you and greet you and help you get plugged into the house, into the family that we call Freedom House.
[01:49:42] And if you're online, just engage with somebody.
[01:49:45] We've got our team there that's connecting and chatting with you.
[01:49:48] We want to help you get connected.
[01:49:50] And listen, also, if you're here, we've got a resource for you.
[01:49:55] What I want to highlight, you're going to see it come up on the screen.
[01:49:58] It's a book called The Peacemaker by Ken Sandy.
[01:50:02] Sandy, sand, something like that.
[01:50:04] I don't know how to pronounce it, but I do know what it's about.
[01:50:06] It's all about biblically resolving conflict in relationship.
[01:50:12] And listen, I think we all need a little bit of that.
[01:50:15] So make sure you grab that resource.
[01:50:17] It's available for purchase in our Salt Resource Center.
[01:50:21] All proceeds go to missions and outreach.
[01:50:23] So not only will it bless you, it'll bless somebody else.
[01:50:26] So make sure that you grab a copy of that.

[01:50:29] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_10]
[01:50:29] Yeah, that's right.
[01:50:30] And this is the third time, but we're going to remind you one more time, men.
[01:50:34] Strong Breakfast, sign up right now, tonight, before you leave.
[01:50:38] If you're at home, we know you're on the laptop already.
[01:50:41] Go to freedomhouse.cc slash strong.
[01:50:44] Sign up today and be there for our Strong Breakfast.
[01:50:48] And lastly, outside of our lobby, if you're as excited about Ballantyne Campus as I am, then you need to stop by the Be My Ballantyne table outside for all the information that we have leading up to the launch of our campus.
[01:51:01] And if you're online, you can go to freedomhouse.cc slash Ballantyne to learn how you can be a part of the team as well.

[01:51:07] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[01:51:07] All right, turn to somebody, smack them a high five, and say, Be My Ballantyne.
[01:51:12] You are dismissed.
[01:51:14] You are dismissed.
[01:51:15] You are dismissed.
[01:51:31] You are dismissed.
[01:52:01] You are dismissed.
[01:52:02] You are dismissed.
[01:52:02] You are dismissed.