Leadership, Trauma, and the Table: Finding Safety in Christ

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[00:00:00] The What's Going On Gold record. That's one of my favorite albums ever. Yeah, there it is. There's a control panel and the actual 8-track.
[00:00:11] But like the original Hammond is in there. Did they tell you the story about this piano? I didn't know this. It was in bad shape.
[00:00:19] You know, it's, I mean, this is, this is creepy, this piano room. I have no business touching it.
[00:00:24] It's just, uh, that Steinway in there, they were talking about it, they said, you know, it used to be kind of, nobody played it.
[00:00:30] Right.
[00:00:30] Uh, cause it's just a museum piece, and it kind of got in bad shape, and they said, it needs to be played, it needs to be tuned up, it needs to be picked up.
[00:00:37] And they said, we had a, a guest in the museum, and he was asking about it.
[00:00:43] And they were like, uh, well, you know, it's in good shape, do you want to play it?
[00:00:46] He said, well, no, we don't want him to play any of the other places.
[00:00:50] What if I paid the bill to get it completely fixed up, refurbished, all tip-top shape?
[00:00:57] Can I be the first one?
[00:00:59] I'll pay everything if I can be the first one to play it, when I get back from New York and go back into New York.
[00:01:05] So, he did it.
[00:01:08] And he probably has an account about it.
[00:01:11] It turns out it was Paul McCartney.
[00:01:14] The only thing to do where he paid, I'm like, okay.

[00:01:18] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_08]
[00:01:18] What the hell are you going to do with that?

[00:01:20] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[00:01:20] Yeah, I mean for him it's chump change.
[00:01:22] Chump change, yeah.
[00:01:24] I thought that was wonderful. He was interested in preserving that.
[00:01:26] Yeah.
[00:01:28] They had the, um, the congas and the percussion from West Coast.
[00:01:30] Right.
[00:01:32] The song The Key of Life was recorded on the West Coast when they moved out of that.
[00:01:36] All the stuff was right there for him.
[00:01:40] Yeah.
[00:01:42] A little bit.
[00:01:46] Yeah.
[00:01:48] You got to do it.
[00:01:52] As you were talking about.
[00:01:54] Yeah.
[00:01:56] Oh, they have a candy machine.
[00:01:58] Really?
[00:02:00] Like the same, no touches, but they have a candy, I think they put in nickels and dimes on top of the machine Oh, that's cool.

[00:02:25] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:02:25] Like, do you agree that the solitude...

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[00:02:27] Susan should come up and do the solitude.
[00:02:29] Yeah.
[00:02:32] And it'll be on the slide.

[00:02:35] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[00:02:35] And it'll be in...
[00:02:37] Because we've got to do it.

[00:02:40] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:02:40] Yeah, if you don't mind putting it up there.

[00:02:53] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[00:02:53] Testing, testing, testing, testing.

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[00:02:56] stand and join us for this song of gathering okay my name is fritz thornton and i serve as an elder

[00:07:07] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:07:07] here i am delighted to welcome you to worship on this beautiful lord's day here in spring a few admin notes to get started restrooms are located behind the sanctuary behind me just exit through these front doors ladies room is the door on the left the men's room is on the
[00:07:30] right if you have little ones our nursery is open for infants through age through children age four you'll find it upstairs just head up the stairs and follow the colorful flags at the top of the
[00:07:43] stairs. For children in pre-K through third grade, we invite them to join kids worship during the sermon portion of the service. They'll be dismissed from the sanctuary during our time of gospel hospitality. Parents, you will escort them to the chapel. Our call to worship this morning is from
[00:08:02] Hebrews 12, verses 28 and 29, which calls out our response to receiving the kingdom of God from Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. Therefore, let us be grateful for receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, for our God is a consuming fire. Please join me in prayer.
[00:08:43] Heavenly Father, we come before you with grateful hearts, for you have granted us a place in a kingdom that cannot be shaken, sharing in the riches of your glorious inheritance in the saints.
[00:08:57] as we gather we thank you that our security is built upon the unshakable foundation of christ lord we ask for your grace to worship you acceptably today not casually or cavalierly but with deep reverence and awe in spirit and in truth may our worship be acceptable to you
[00:09:17] acknowledging that you are a holy and consuming fire we offer ourselves to you in the name of Jesus Christ, our King. Amen. Please remain standing and joining in singing our hymn of praise.

[00:09:32] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_11]
[00:09:32] Come to a time of confession where we acknowledge the greatness of our sin against God and grieve

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:13:46] over the corporate nature of our particular sins as we, like the writer to the Hebrews here in Hebrews 4 marvel at how our high priest, Jesus, meets our need for mercy from a holy God.
[00:14:02] So here our call to confession from Hebrews 4, 14 to 16.
[00:14:08] Since then, we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God.
[00:14:15] Let us hold fast our confession, for we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who, in every respect, has been tempted as we are yet without sin.
[00:14:29] Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
[00:14:42] Please join me in this corporate confession of sin followed by a time of individual silent confession.
[00:14:51] Faithful and unchanging God, we come before you as wandering sheep before the great shepherd you have spoken your word to guide us yet we often prefer our own voices you have placed faithful witnesses before us yet we forget
[00:15:10] their faith you have given us the unchanging christ yet our hearts chase the shifting promises of this world. Lord, we confess that sin is not only in what we do, but deep within who we are.
[00:15:27] Left to ourselves, we are stubborn travelers, slow to trust, quick to wander, and eager to rule our own small kingdoms. We resist your shepherding hand. We question your wisdom. We cling to our pride when you call us to humble obedience. Yet even as we confess this, we remember the good
[00:15:52] news. Our hope does not rest in the strength of our grip on you, but in the strength of Christ's grip on us. Quiet our restless hearts. Teach us again to trust your word, to follow where you lead
[00:16:09] and to rest in the grace that is stronger than our sin.
[00:16:14] Through Jesus Christ, our Lord, we pray. Amen.
[00:16:42] And now, CTK, look up and hear this assurance of pardon from 1 John 2, verse 2, and respond.
[00:16:50] He himself is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours, but also for those of the whole world.
[00:17:01] God, Christ, we are forgiven.
[00:17:04] please stand and join in singing our song of thanksgiving

[00:17:08] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_11]
[00:17:08] to a time in our service where we collect our tithes and offerings this is this act is a our

[00:20:37] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:20:37] response to god's grace it's an act of recognition that all we have comes from him and that he calls us to steward our whole lives to be offered up to honor him it's an act of faith that god can
[00:20:51] and does work with us and through us even though he doesn't need our money if you're visiting with us please feel no compulsion to give however we do have connection cards in the pews that we invite
[00:21:05] you to fill out and drop in the offering basket as it comes by or you can scan the qr code which is behind me it's good as indicated on the screen and a member of our staff would love to reach out
[00:21:19] to you. Let us pray. Heavenly Father, we come before you with hearts full of gratitude, acknowledging that we have received a kingdom that cannot be shaken. Because of your grace, we offer these gifts, our offerings, and our lives as an act of acceptable worship,
[00:21:44] not reluctantly or under compulsion, recognizing your holiness and power.
[00:21:51] Use these resources and our lives to meet the needs of your church and to further your kingdom.
[00:22:00] We ask this in the name of Jesus. Amen.
[00:22:06] Please remain standing as we sing.

[00:22:55] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_11]
[00:22:55] You may be seated.

[00:26:40] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[00:26:40] ...is following March Madness.
[00:26:47] Has everyone filled out their ESPN brackets?
[00:26:50] Some of you? Okay.
[00:26:53] Do you want to hear a basketball joke? I'm sure some of your brackets are a joke, to be honest.
[00:27:01] Why do basketball players not get to ride on airplanes?
[00:27:05] Because they get called for traveling.
[00:27:08] Speaking of traveling, let's talk about the youth's mission trip to Nicaragua!
[00:27:19] Hello everyone, if you don't already know us, my name is Maya.
[00:27:23] My name is Sophie.

[00:27:24] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[00:27:24] And my name is Ryan.

[00:27:25] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[00:27:25] And we are going on the mission trip this summer to Nicaragua.

[00:27:29] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[00:27:29] We are super excited about this opportunity, and one big part of this experience is supporting and fundraising.

[00:27:36] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[00:27:36] Thankfully, the youth group is hosting a banquet this Saturday so that we can serve y'all and you guys can support our efforts and donate towards the trip.
[00:27:45] There's a QR code in the bulletins for the banquet that y'all should scan so you can sign up.
[00:27:54] But what if... Oh wait, no, that's true.

[00:27:58] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[00:27:58] Okay, so if you do end up going to the spring banquet, there will be live music, a dedicated personal waiter for each table, a social hour, and three courses that will include appetizers, a main course, and dessert.
[00:28:12] Okay, now my turn.

[00:28:14] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[00:28:14] But what if you can't attend the banquet and you still want to give?
[00:28:17] Oh, gee, thank goodness we created a link to give directly to the Mission Trip Fund.
[00:28:22] And it's in the CTK Weekly Newsletters, which I know y'all read.
[00:28:31] Registration closes at noon on Thursday, so be there or be square.
[00:28:36] And don't forget to pray for the preparation of our trip.
[00:28:38] now you guys get to hear some more announcements by uh susan bradford hello you guys we are not

[00:28:55] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_00]
[00:28:55] able to go this year but you should go if you can jeff and i went last year and it was such a delight to be served by the youth um i also remember some live music i don't know if
[00:29:05] that's happening it was delightful please go okay so i am gonna draw your attention to holy week and invite you to come to the several services that we have going on yes um holy thursday good
[00:29:17] Friday, Easter sunrise and Easter. There's two services, nine and 11. They're identical. Please, please come. There's also an Easter egg hunt, correct? Okay. Okay. I also wanted to, excuse me, announce the silence and solitude retreat. It's been announced for several weeks now and it's
[00:29:38] almost full. So thank you for the ones of you that have signed up. I think it's going to be really great. We've never done anything quite like this before. So this is new territory for CTK.
[00:29:49] One of the phrases that was read in the passage last week was keeping company with Jesus.
[00:29:56] That's going to be a running theme throughout the retreat. Maybe you already know how to do that.
[00:30:02] Maybe you're like, I really want to do that and don't know how. Come on the retreat and engage and some spiritual practices that will allow you to connect with Jesus.
[00:30:15] We believe as Christians that God is present to us all the time.
[00:30:21] And sometimes we even pray, like, God be with us.
[00:30:25] He is with us all the time.
[00:30:27] So how do we grow in awareness to connect with the Jesus who's right here already?
[00:30:35] Another part of our belief is that God dwells within us, right?
[00:30:40] We believe that the Holy Spirit comes to dwell within us when we accept Christ.
[00:30:46] Okay, so come and learn how to practice the presence of God.
[00:30:49] I want to give you a few details, too, that there's one room left for a couple, and then there's also two spaces for individual men.
[00:30:59] You would have your own twin bed in those rooms.
[00:31:03] Also, I wanted to say, if you have any questions, please come find me.
[00:31:09] text me email me I love talking about soul care I wanted to mention that as well that we will be talking a lot about our souls what is a soul how to connect with your soul and engage
[00:31:24] with God with our soul we just sing a song engaging our souls the psalmist do that all the time so okay thank you um now we're ready for fritz membership hi josh there he is all right

[00:31:44] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:31:44] good it's always good when the member to be introduced is actually here to be introduced so and i got to interview josh for membership and um i thought we had something in common uh we both like music he likes to play i like to listen so i you know i thought that was
[00:32:04] interesting but anyway uh but we'll we'll jump in with your interesting fact and then your testimony so josh's interesting fact is he loves to travel there's a theme today i think about travel he says he i grew up in omaha nebraska but i've traveled to 23 states in eight countries
[00:32:25] and some of my favorite highlights would be my semester in spain my vacations to italy and hawaii and next fall I plan to go to Thailand.
[00:32:34] Wow, that sounds very exciting.
[00:32:38] In Josh's testimony, he says, My journey with the Lord goes back to as early as I can remember.
[00:32:43] My parents, with their own steadfast faith, raised me to know who God is.
[00:32:49] As a family, we served in our local church and did nightly devotions.
[00:32:53] Even when the storms of life came and my mom went through a period of health decline, I was at every church event I could be at.
[00:33:02] I'm thankful for this foundation that I would later realize was so much more important than I thought.
[00:33:08] As I got older, entering high school, God was still very much in my life.
[00:33:13] But I treated him as an aspect, not the center.
[00:33:17] I found my self-worth in school and my numerous extracurriculars.
[00:33:21] God was not where my worth was.
[00:33:23] And this led to extreme self-pressure, burnout, and anxiety.
[00:33:28] In college, I joined a campus ministry, but this is where my faith took a turn.
[00:33:34] I could no longer lean on my own parents' faith.
[00:33:37] I was in and out of church and of the ministry, putting my worth in school, friends, and the college experience.
[00:33:44] My desires grew for the world and dissipated for God.
[00:33:48] By my final year, I decided to step back from the church and from God, justifying myself as being too busy.
[00:33:55] God, with his grace and mercy, never left me, despite me leaving him.
[00:34:00] After college, I felt the tug to return to him.
[00:34:03] I moved home for grad school and joined a young adults group.
[00:34:07] It was like the missing piece of my life was found.
[00:34:10] My faith skyrocketed.
[00:34:12] I learned who God was on such a deeper level than I had ever experienced before.
[00:34:18] And for the first time in my life, I couldn't get enough of him.
[00:34:21] Finally, God became more than an aspect of my life.
[00:34:24] He became where I strive to place my identity.
[00:34:28] Now in Raleigh, God is still working, guiding me daily into a deeper and more intimate relationship with him, helping me know who he is, to recognize how I need him in every second of my life,
[00:34:39] and to understand the depth of how I must continually repent and turn from my brokenness to lean on his promises and be saved.
[00:34:47] With so much ahead, I believe he has led me to CTK and to serve and walk alongside this community of believers.
[00:34:56] So I will leave you with this verse that came to mind as I reflected on my testimony.
[00:35:01] For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
[00:35:10] Jeremiah 29, 11.
[00:35:13] Okay.
[00:35:14] Now I'm going to go through the membership vows, which you have already been through.
[00:35:19] But as I read the appropriate responses, I do.
[00:35:24] do you acknowledge yourself to be a sinner in the sight of god justly deserving his displeasure and without hope except for his sovereign mercy do you believe in the lord jesus christ as the son of god and center savior of sinners and do you receive and rest upon him alone for
[00:35:44] salvation as he is offered in the gospel do you now resolve and promise in humble reliance upon the grace of the holy spirit that you will endeavor to live as becomes a follower of christ
[00:35:56] Do you promise to support the church in its worship and work to the best of your ability?
[00:36:04] Do you submit yourself to the government and discipline of the church and promise to study its purity and peace?
[00:36:13] Okay, and now for the congregation.
[00:36:17] Do you, the members of Christ the King, receive this individual as your brother in the Lord and promise to pray for him, encourage him, and live in community with Jesus and one another in the gospel?
[00:36:28] Amen.
[00:36:29] So now we line her into our time of gospel hospitality and we invite you to stand and greet one another and come welcome the newest member of our church.

[00:36:41] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_10]
[00:36:41] Good morning. You may have a seat. My name is Jeff Bradford. If we haven't met and we want to welcome you.

[00:42:11] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[00:42:11] So glad to see you all here this morning that you're spending this Sunday morning with us.
[00:42:16] We are going to be finishing up the book of Hebrews over the next two months.
[00:42:21] And I'm really excited to announce that if you want to find the passage, we have new Pew Bibles that are the same version that I preach out of.
[00:42:31] So if you turn to page 1070 in your Pew Bibles, you can find Hebrews chapter 13.
[00:42:38] We're skipping ahead a little bit. I'm going to do some things out of order that will become very apparent why later in the service.
[00:42:44] So if you want to find that passage, Hebrews chapter 13, we're going to read aloud together.
[00:42:51] We're going to read verses 7 and 8, and then 17 through 20.
[00:43:02] Let's lift up our voices together as we read God's word.
[00:43:06] Remember your leaders who have spoken God's word to you.
[00:43:10] As you carefully observe the outcome of their lives, imitate their faith.
[00:43:18] Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
[00:43:23] And then down to verse 17.
[00:43:25] Obey your leaders and submit to them, since they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account, so that they can do this with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for
[00:43:41] you. Pray for us, for we are convinced that we have a clear conscience, wanting to conduct ourselves honorably in everything, and I urge you all the more to pray that I may be restored to you very
[00:43:56] soon. Now may the God of peace, who brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus Christ, the great shepherd of the sheep, through the blood of the eternal covenant, I'm going to keep reading, equip you with everything good to do his will, working in us what is pleasing in his sight
[00:44:17] through jesus christ to whom be glory forever and ever amen title of this sermon is the gift of church leadership and i i know that's a humorous title uh gift of church leadership some of you are like i have the receipt headed back to the store just like the day after christmas
[00:44:40] want to return that gift. Honestly, if you feel that way, you're not alone. There's at least three reasons why we have problems with church leadership. One is we have a cultural problem with leadership in general. We are in a cultural crisis in America with regard to leadership. We
[00:45:03] distrust leaders, political leaders, corporation leaders, civic leaders, church leaders.
[00:45:13] We've seen abuses of power, hypocrisy, manipulation, control, failure.
[00:45:23] And our instinct is kind of arm's length from leaders.
[00:45:28] And we're reluctant to become leaders.
[00:45:31] It's funny, I can get anybody to be on a committee, happy to be on a committee.
[00:45:37] You want to lead the committee? No way.
[00:45:40] Why? Because leadership feels lonely.
[00:45:44] You're setting yourself up to be criticized.
[00:45:46] scrutinized it can be thankless uh who wants a role where you're in out of inevitably going to fail so we oscillate between these two extremes we don't like leaders and we don't want to be
[00:46:01] leaders which makes this passage sound almost offensive in our current cultural moment isn't it obey your leaders submit to your authority uh no thanks ew uh absolutely not we live in a a time and a place where autonomy is king, where the unencumbered self is the highest ideal,
[00:46:27] anything that restricts my freedom. Are you kidding me? But here's what the Bible says to us this morning. And I want you to hear what the Bible is holding up for us. It's not that we
[00:46:37] need no more of leadership, but we need the right kind, the right kind of leadership.
[00:46:45] some of us have a biblical problem with leadership uh they ask is the is church leadership even right is this biblical maybe we should go back to the early church anybody wanted to go back
[00:47:00] to the early church no buildings no budgets no church staff is this really it might help me out has anybody ever felt this is this what jesus had in mind right in america where it's like church
[00:47:15] membership and church leadership can sound like something of the past like landline like map quest like writing letters and using stamps on them you know maybe we should just get rid of these things uh it's true there is no verse in the book of acts that says on this sunday
[00:47:43] in Ephesus they received 13 members who stood up and took vows like we just saw Josh do this morning and yet there may be in all of the Bible no more passage that's clearer about the essential
[00:48:00] nature of church a local church engagement and church leadership than this one Christianity has never held up for us as a belief system that you nod to. It's always joining in with a covenant community of people. It's always embodied. We experienced some of this during COVID where we
[00:48:24] could not be together. And it was really disquieting for Christians because church is meant to be the lived body of God's people with him in the center. But really, if we're honest, our problem is not out there it's not um leaders in society it's not the biblical categories it's
[00:48:50] experiences either directly with us of bad leadership we've suffered under or people that we love and care for who've been deeply wounded by a controlling hypocritical manipulative leader i know that in our congregation there are some of you of whom i'm like it's a miracle you're here
[00:49:12] and I know that I'm very aware that it's a big deal that you're here for you to trust again for you to try this come back into a church it's a big deal that you're here and I want to honor that
[00:49:27] so again we hear obey your leaders and submit to their authority some of us are like wait after everything we've seen after everything we've heard all the stories all the scandals all the podcast how can anybody trust anyone in leadership that's the question for this morning how can
[00:49:49] anybody trust anyone and the writer of hebrews it's interesting this is going to be the starting point for my sermon and the ending point because he starts not with leaders but with jesus verse 8 jesus christ is the same yesterday today and forever and then again at the end of the
[00:50:10] passage verse 20 now may the god of peace who brought back from the dead our lord jesus christ the great shepherd of the sheep in other words here's the main thing the passage is saying
[00:50:22] something surprising and the big idea christian leadership only makes sense in the church where jesus is the leader where jesus is central and that'll answer all the questions so we're going to have a sermon how do you trust leaders in a broken world and i'm going to give you three
[00:50:43] headings into this. First, ways we're not called to trust. Second, three ways we can trust. And third, how to recover from abusive leadership. And I feel like I have to talk about that last one
[00:51:00] today. So three ways we're not called to trust leaders. First, not blindly. Not blindly. Look verse seven, remember your leaders consider their outcome of the way of life. Um, God doesn't command blind loyalty. You can read the passage that way. Obey, submit, hammer, right? That's not
[00:51:26] what's described here. After you have considered the outcome of their way of life, after you've had time to discern, is this a person worthy? Are these leaders worthy of my followership?
[00:51:37] right uh after observation after evaluation and not talking about job success popularity how smooth everything is not charisma character character look at their trajectory look at the fruit of their life christian leadership is not measured no matter what the church looks like
[00:52:04] right now in america church america looks like it's all about charisma and gloss and gifting and success that is not how jesus measures that's not his measuring tape years ago an older pastor friend of mine told me he said this time time is the best lie detector in the church and it's that
[00:52:28] stayed with me for years time is the best lie detector anybody can preach well for a season or to lead well for a season um but over time character surfaces and you really see who are you
[00:52:45] what are you really about is there substance there is there jesus visible in this person's life uh this is why incidentally when people are like hey i'm moving i should what church should i go
[00:52:59] look like go out go find should i go find another pca church i'm like maybe maybe i love our denomination but that doesn't mean automatically everywhere you go is going to be good consider way watch their life when god defines the qualifications for leadership it's fascinating
[00:53:21] first timothy 3 is a passage that has all this bullet points of like what you're supposed to look like but it none of it mentions charisma or lots of gifts it's it's not competency first
[00:53:37] it's character first. That's what Jesus is looking for. And, you know, again, that same older pastor told me, he's like, you know, give me a man or a woman of character. I can help with
[00:53:51] competency. I can help a person grow in proficiency, but there's nothing that, I can't make a person of greater character. So first, not blindly. Second, not absolutely. Not absolutely. So our trust is not placed in leaders themselves. Verse 18. It's a little more difficult to see,
[00:54:16] but I want you to see this in this passage. Here's what Paul, sorry, not Paul, the writer of Hebrews, who is not Paul, says, pray for us. Pray for us. Now, why does he say that?
[00:54:28] why is that written here because every leader is prone is vulnerable is a sinner has issues in their life that could become something that shipwrecks their entire ministry pray for us it's fascinating also to read about jesus um in john chapter two there's this weird little
[00:54:56] throwaway line we're going to put this up on the screen says this jesus however would not entrust himself to them because he knew them all and he because he did not anyone need anyone to testify
[00:55:08] about man he himself knew what was in man fascinating jesus didn't entrust himself to any man because he knew what was in a man the heart of a man not absolutely we don't trust absolutely this is what's unique to biblical church leadership versus any other organization
[00:55:30] we're what we're looking for is not trusting a human leader but trusting the holy spirit that's at work in the life of the church in that person in those people that's what we're putting our
[00:55:45] trust in um you who have friends who are married whose marriages in christ you look up to one of things i've noticed over time is that the healthiest marriages aren't really just about trusting that other person they're about trusting that we're accountable together before the lord
[00:56:15] the lord is who we're trusting for our marriage not not blindly just trusting this other person and it's a fascinating way where that both rate lowers some of the pressure and raises some of the power i'm looking for what this i'm trusting the spirit at work when we took
[00:56:38] vows before the lord um that's the same logic here church leaders are not trustworthy in and of themselves uh they're in trust they're trustworthy in as far as they're accountable to god and the spirit of god's at work within the church now this is hard and both leaders
[00:57:00] and congregations forget this all the time so true confession um at times i've been really hurt personally hurt by the lack of trust of other people during covid this was incredibly painful for me you know during covid our congregation more so than the national average we lost about
[00:57:23] 50 of our congregation and some of those people just ghosted and i was like man i i visited you in the hospital. I baptized your baby. I did your wedding. And I took it really personally for a
[00:57:41] while. And I realized I got confused. These people aren't called to trust Jeff Bradford.
[00:57:49] They're called to trust the Holy Spirit at work in the church. And it's easy for a pastor to forget that. It's also easy, and you know this one too, for congregations to forget this. And they put
[00:58:04] their trust in a leader in such a way that they sort of open up their heart like this person is my person i've got to hear the gospel only from them and when that person fails it is devastating
[00:58:20] some of you have very personal stories of this this is going on in raleigh in these last couple of weeks, sister church. And it's a warning to us. Our trust is always in God, in the spirit.
[00:58:37] We look to him and we look to him to keep a church faithful. And we look to him and we're always saying, Wayne, consider the outcome of the way of life. Here's how leaders abuse power.
[00:58:53] And let me give you a, there's a heavy moment. So let me give you a funny one. So I was a couple of years ago, I would get these texts from Susan and I'd be, you know, I looked at my phone. I'm
[00:59:04] like, pee, pee, poo, poo, butt, butt. And I'm like, oh, suddenly I know two things are going on.
[00:59:13] One, she is in the car using her Bluetooth. Two, there's a young boy with her. So she's driving around and texting and all that. And suddenly a boy interjects something from the back seat and
[00:59:28] it comes across the text as if my wife is telling me pee pee poo poo butt butt we're used to this though sadly this is what abuse and manipulation looks like in the church okay bad example all
[00:59:44] right okay every once in a while i throw a stinker so yeah you know if you get one um but right when someone is speaking on god's behalf using their own words okay did you get that one
[00:59:57] the text okay um right spiritual abuse is when a pastor an elder uh a head of a christian organization makes it sound like my words are god's words and inserts their words in a way
[01:00:11] that it sounds like this is what god is saying to you uh the leader wields authority in such a way that you know it's manipulating and it's dominating and bullying and intimidating and lots of other words to kind of accomplish that person's personal goals.
[01:00:29] Friends, not called to follow a leader, absolutely.
[01:00:34] Third, not individually.
[01:00:37] Notice something else in this passage.
[01:00:39] Leadership is always plural.
[01:00:42] Leaders, not leader.
[01:00:45] The New Testament continually shows us a plurality of leadership.
[01:00:50] Maybe you're not used to that word, but just a group.
[01:00:53] a group of people. That's intentional because power is dangerous when it sits in one person's hands alone. I know that the word Presbyterian that follows the name of our church, Christ the King Presbyterian, that is a clunky word. You're like, I don't even know how to spell that. And
[01:01:09] I've been at this church for 10 years. That's okay. That's okay. It's a transliteration of the Greek and it simply just means death by committee. Oligarchy, right? So there is a there is a committee that runs our church it's called the elder board but what's fascinating
[01:01:28] about that is that every elder including a pastor who is a type of elder has the same vote and so if anything happens in the church james loves to say if anything happens in our church it's
[01:01:42] going to happen it's got to be the holy spirit's work because it took so long to get there through a committee but in a leadership there is a plurality which means that no individual elder
[01:01:54] has the authority to go to a member and say, this is what you have to do.
[01:01:59] That's always resident in a group. And that is a safety mechanism for the church.
[01:02:08] Plurality of leadership is like when you go to a Western North Carolina and you're driving on those windy roads on the Blue Ridge Parkway. And as you drive on those windy roads, they have something on those curves, these big metal things called guardrails.
[01:02:24] but most of the time you don't need those because you're just driving on the road you don't notice the guardrail until you need the guardrail and the guardrail is there to make sure that you stay
[01:02:36] on the road plurality of leadership in a church is a guardrail and hopefully you know it's kind of like we don't really need that i don't really know don't see the danger but it's there when it's
[01:02:49] needed and you may not see it but like it's shared account it's shared leadership it's mutuality it's accountability so this is again the bible says don't trust leaders blindly don't trust leaders absolutely and don't trust leaders individually so that that gets us for a lot
[01:03:06] of the don'ts that doesn't clear up how do you trust so let me go to that one more positively how do you trust leadership at all three ways i want to suggest here that are hopeful about how
[01:03:16] to trust human leadership number one is this provisionally uh that's verse 20 when jesus the great shepherd of the sheep returns that means leadership in the church is for right now it's temporary and there will be a day when we're like time's up and here's how we know because the great
[01:03:39] shepherd of the sheep returns when jesus returns my job will be over and i am glad for that right that leaders are given for now. They are provisional. Jesus is the great shepherd of the
[01:03:55] sheep. That means that every pastor, every elder, every person in the leadership of the church is there as an under shepherd, which means temporary and subordinate. I sometimes remind our elders of this. None of you died for our church. None of you will judge the church.
[01:04:15] Jesus did the first in the past.
[01:04:18] He will do the second in the future.
[01:04:21] None of us.
[01:04:22] Which means every human leader in the church is simply serving for a season under his authority.
[01:04:29] And that's incredibly freeing.
[01:04:31] That's incredibly freeing.
[01:04:32] It keeps leaders humble.
[01:04:33] It keeps churches from glorifying an individual.
[01:04:37] Jesus, he's the shepherd.
[01:04:40] It's provisional.
[01:04:42] Second, it's prayerful.
[01:04:43] Verse 18 says, pray for us. I told you this before, the church isn't sustained by talent, it's sustained by prayer. Leaders are weak people. Let me say something very honestly.
[01:04:59] The longer I'm a pastor, the more I'm nervous. I'm just like, man, this is a hard role.
[01:05:08] I've sat under two pastors who I dearly love, who were lifers in ministry. I pray for faithfulness.
[01:05:17] I'm in a group, there's five of us, and since 2018, we've had lunch every other week.
[01:05:22] We're all pastors locally, and we get away twice a year for study time together.
[01:05:29] And really, the whole point of this group is just mutual encouragement and keeping one another in ministry.
[01:05:36] We call ourselves Five Guys Lawn Group because none of us have any skills except for mowing grass.
[01:05:42] So we figured, you know, if something happens, five guys lawn service could be at your door, trimming your hedges and mowing your grass.
[01:05:52] But seriously, you know, the constant prayer request of that group, Lord, keep us all to the end.
[01:06:00] We want to be lifers.
[01:06:03] We want to be pastors who retire without there being stuff that comes out and stories.
[01:06:12] just want to be found faithful and i just want to ask you to pray for your pastor to pray for your pastors in your church your leaders in your church and i'm not politely asking uh third
[01:06:30] productively verse 17 says leaders watch over souls as those who will give an account that's one of the most sobering lines in the whole bible about leadership one day church leaders will answer to jesus personally for how they shepherded and led and cared for people but the the purpose
[01:06:48] the goal isn't control and it's not just like ever-increasing growth it's spiritual fruit it's fruitfulness verse 21 says that christ is working in that which is pleasing in his sight and church leadership exists to help people become more like jesus that's the entire
[01:07:09] goal this is this whole thing of like leaders keeping watch over souls is a shepherd sheep analogy right this is the shepherd's job is not to control the sheep it's to give them food it's to lead them to safety it's to help them to thrive it is back in the church world it is
[01:07:33] spiritual soul care it is developing people who are more and more becoming like jesus that's the whole point discipleship those are the ways you are called to trust and i hope you can it's provisionally prayerfully and i hope productively um last thing i want to say this
[01:07:57] morning is recovering from bad church leadership and sadly as i said this is a timely sermon um i want to tell you if you have sat under bad spiritual leadership abusive spiritual leadership you're not alone it's actually all over the bible did you know that david king david was under
[01:08:19] abusive spiritual leadership of king saul and then bathsheba and uriah the hittite were under the bad abusive spiritual leadership of david um stephen first deacon maybe there's a warning not to be a deacon it was abused spiritually abused by the leaders of israel acts chapter 7 put to
[01:08:42] death jesus jesus was spiritually abused by the shepherds of israel and so like if you're a person who has walked through bad church leadership abusive church leadership i just want to tell you this your savior knows what that's like we have one we this was part of our confession of
[01:09:04] We don't have a high priest who's not able to sympathize with our sufferings, but one who's been tried in every way like we are. You can find in him a companion for where you are today.
[01:09:17] How do you work through spiritual abuse? I'm just going to give you five things real quick.
[01:09:20] First is take it slow. It takes a long time to get over bad, abusive spiritual leadership.
[01:09:29] Take it slow. I'm always mindful sometimes when I meet with someone who's new and they react to me in a way that's startling. Um, they're super reactive. I'm like, that's not about me, right? They're trying to figure out, is this a safe church? And are you a safe person?
[01:09:50] And the journey could be really slow and it can be really multi-layered and really emotional.
[01:09:58] Take it slow. Second, acknowledge what happened. Now, why is that so important? It's important because you can't identify with a wound unless you name a wound. I know we live in a victimized culture where everybody seems like a victim, and some of you are like, yeah, that spiritual abuse
[01:10:21] stuff's not real. No, no, no. That is real. That is a real wound. It's real harm. It can involve manipulation of God's word, trying to make it say what it doesn't say, coercion, control.
[01:10:35] um if if everything you do let me just give a definition of spiritual abuse this way if everything you do has the um qualification of this gets you accepted by god this gets you rejected
[01:10:48] by god that's spiritual abuse if there's this thing of like if you're not down with our ministry because our ministry equals the kingdom of god that's spiritual abuse naming abuse is absolutely crucial toward dealing with it. Third, create safety. Create safety. In 1 Kings 19, it said,
[01:11:10] David got away from Saul. The only way to begin to recover from and deal with spiritual abuse is to remove yourself from that context. You can't heal in the environment where manipulation is taking place. What if somebody is telling you to reconcile? You need to be the bigger person.
[01:11:31] you need to be the peacemaker. That is not, that's not true. You can't reconcile with someone who's abusing you if they're unrepentant. They're not going to be in a place where you can find healing in that. Four, this one's a little controversial, but take a break. Take a break
[01:11:56] from spiritually triggering activities for a time. It may be too hard to even come to worship.
[01:12:04] i know a lot of pastors be like jeff you can't say i don't want you to beat yourself up for that surround yourself with people who are supportive and trustworthy safety isn't a lack of faith
[01:12:17] it's wisdom and protection and if nobody else is going to protect you you protect you take a break for a little bit last one rebuild your internal world spiritual abuse affects your identity and your confidence your ability to trust people even your own judgment and so
[01:12:37] when you're in an abusive environment and everybody's being abused the functional dysfunction is what's normal does that make sense the functional dysfunction is what's functioning it's normal and it allows that to be normalized in that kind of church setting
[01:12:53] you know you're when you're in a almost a cult if they snitch on you for disagreeing with them so to rebuild your inner world you may need trauma trauma-informed counseling somebody who knows a little bit about the clinical world he's like hey yeah this is really a big deal and can
[01:13:12] help you get your feet out like back under you again who can help understand religious trauma and power dynamics and spiritual manipulation and what happens when you're lied to and lied to in an organization that claims to be from jesus so let's come back to the question how do you trust
[01:13:33] How do you trust?
[01:13:33] Who can you trust?
[01:13:35] Hebrews gives us an answer.
[01:13:37] And I know this is not a perfect answer.
[01:13:39] You're like, I don't like that answer.
[01:13:41] But here's the answer.
[01:13:43] Verse 20.
[01:13:45] Now may the God of peace who brought back again from the dead our Lord Jesus Christ, the great shepherd of the sheep.
[01:13:52] Jesus is the good shepherd.
[01:13:55] He is the good shepherd.
[01:13:56] What makes him good?
[01:13:59] Every other shepherd protects the sheep from wolves.
[01:14:04] Jesus protects his sheep by becoming a sheep.
[01:14:11] He stands in harm's way.
[01:14:14] He lays down his life for the sheep, for the flock.
[01:14:19] He allowed the judgment that we deserve to fall on him alone.
[01:14:24] He made himself accountable for us.
[01:14:26] He laid down his life for the sheep.
[01:14:28] And he sustains the church.
[01:14:31] He's here.
[01:14:33] He's here when we open up his word and when we sing songs and we meet in that building for Sunday school and those classrooms upstairs. He's ministering to those children. We meet for premarital counseling. We have a board meeting about the
[01:14:53] budget. He's here. He's the shepherd of the sheep. Human institutions, churches are going to come and go. Leaders are going to come and go. But Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
[01:15:09] and you can trust him.
[01:15:13] He is a good shepherd and he will not fail his sheep and he'll bring you home.
[01:15:20] I know that's not a perfect answer.
[01:15:23] I know that's not an easy answer.
[01:15:25] That's the Bible's best answer.
[01:15:28] And let's pray that it is so at our church.
[01:15:30] So I'm not gonna end today's sermon with a cute story that makes us all feel good.
[01:15:35] I'm gonna pray and ask you to pray with me.
[01:15:38] Father, guard our steps and guard our church.
[01:15:40] guard me guard our elders father we live in a really sad time and we know lots more sad things than generations before us because the internet and we thank you lord that you're cleaning house
[01:15:58] in your church where there's a lot that needs to be cleaned out and we pray father for your spirit to do that we also pray father that you would protect your sheep where we pray for those today
[01:16:12] whose faith is just really devastated by the failures of pastors and elders.
[01:16:19] And we pray, Father, that you would restore them.
[01:16:23] Pray that they would find healing and hope.
[01:16:26] We pray that for those who are here this morning, for them this is sort of their last-ditch effort at church, for would you draw near to them, shepherd them, comfort them, feed them, guide them.
[01:16:40] Father, we pray for our church that it would be what you want it to be lord we pray all this in christ's name amen let's respond

[01:16:49] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_11]
[01:16:49] to god's word together in song i'm going to go a little off script on slides for this so we're not

[01:20:53] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[01:20:53] going to use the liturgy today i want to think with you this morning as god invites us to the table of how very very boring the lord's supper is he was given to a group of disciples who were
[01:21:10] being led by a man who had no majesty or beauty that people should be drawn to him. He looked like an ordinary person. He was poor. He had a meager meal with his disciples in a rented, not an owned
[01:21:25] upper room. And he did so with the ordinary parts of dinner. He had bread and he had a cup and he had wine because that's what they drank then. It's fermented, didn't go bad. And they
[01:21:42] had a very ordinary meal with ordinary sinners around the table and it wasn't the hebrew all stars it was the bad news bears and jesus knew what was happening he knew he had at least two
[01:21:58] betrayers around the table he had a zealot who wanted jesus to take over the kingdom with power people a group of people who abandoned him that very evening and he took the ordinary things bread
[01:22:12] he didn't take lobster it wasn't champagne ordinary things and broke them and said my body my blood jesus is at work in the ordinary in the very ordinary body of christ and he invites you
[01:22:31] to bring your if you're a christian your very ordinary self around this table and we have very ordinary leaders in our church and this isn't an amazing church this is just a church but we gather
[01:22:46] around a table where we believe king jesus he's extraordinary and he meets us here and he ministers to his people and his spirits at work in this part of our worship like no other part this is when the
[01:22:59] veil is thin y'all and i make this invitation come and receive ask from his own hands do you have any idea what that means the jesus who is present to us as susan reminded us this morning is here
[01:23:13] ministering not me i'm just setting the table he's ministering to his people it's very ordinary people through his body and his blood so in that vein let's remember on the night that he was betrayed jesus christ took bread and when he'd given thanks he broke it and he gave it to them
[01:23:33] and said, my body broken for you. After the supper, he took the cup and he said, this is the promise in my blood poured out for you for the forgiveness of your sins. Come and eat all of you
[01:23:46] ordinary people, ordinary sinners and saints in my name. If you're not a Christian, we're so glad you're here. There is nothing to be impressed with by our church except for this Jesus. And we want
[01:24:02] you to know him above everything else. That's what we gather around. We don't gather around our organization, Jesus. So if you're not a Christian, receive him this morning. All the stuff I've said about this church, the whole thing is about him. If you are a Christian,
[01:24:22] it's my great privilege to invite you to come to this table and remember the body broken for you, the blood poured out for you. Would you pray with me? Father, we ask you now to take these
[01:24:34] very ordinary means they would be for us your body your blood and that lord you would work in the hearts of very ordinary people to be your hands and feet in this city lord use us transform
[01:24:47] us may your spirit be powerfully at work in us as we trust it is in these elements this morning in jesus name amen let me invite those members of our church to help distribute the elements
[01:24:59] if you want to come forward words of instruction for the rest of you just a moment we're going to receive the lord's supper um this is as i said this is for baptized christians and if that's you we invite you to come to the table you'll stand up if you're
[01:25:12] downstairs where you are you'll come to the middle of the room and come forward there will be six stations open up front come to any of them that are open uh go up introduce yourself and then
[01:25:23] their person will turn around and say come here's the body of christ broken for you tear off a piece of bread here's the blood of christ poured out for you take a cup out of the tray clear cups or wine
[01:25:32] tinted cups of grape juice take those elements and go back to your seat and join us singing and we'll wait till everybody's received and then we'll partake together if you have allergies come see me in the middle if you like pre-packaged community supplies i'll be right here in the
[01:25:45] middle y'all upstairs we'll go to the doors and people will come and bring you the word supper up there it's our great privilege our great privilege to come around this table and remember the body and blood of christ they're so abundantly given for us let's come and celebrate and remember
[01:26:02] ordinary means for ordinary people would you come and receive

[01:26:28] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_11]
[01:26:28] bread that we eat is it not the body of christ broken for us take and eat hold up the cup the

[01:32:56] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[01:32:56] cup that we drink is it not the blood of christ poured out for us take and drink i'm going to pronounce a benediction over you and i invite you to respond with the doxology and now may the god
[01:33:15] of peace who brought up from the dead our lord jesus the great shepherd of the sheep through the blood of the eternal covenant equip you with everything good to do his will working in us what

[01:33:25] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_10]
[01:33:25] is pleasing in his sight through jesus christ whom be glory and forever and ever amen go in peace