More Than a Brother: The Power of Covenant Friendship

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[00:05:23] righteousness i dare not trust the sweetest frame but holy jesus name on christ the solid rock i stand the ground is sinking all is sinking hey everybody welcome as we get started this morning

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[00:10:06] i have a few announcements to share with you man it's so good to see your faces after a couple of weeks of snow. I'll tell you what, the snow has also just messed up so many of our plans, and so
[00:10:21] I've got a lot of announcements to make and to correct. First of all, I want to remind you, every Sunday we have coffee prepared before the service, and we'd welcome you to come hang out
[00:10:33] in the fellowship hall and meet people for the half hour before church starts, and if you didn't get a chance to get some coffee, it'll be out by the door on your way out. Also, we had planned to
[00:10:46] have a Welcome 101 class yesterday. We're changing the date of that to March the 7th, and so we hope that you will be able to make it. We've got a good group of people that are interested, and so we're
[00:11:00] going to have it March the 7th, 9 30 to 1. If you haven't been, it's just a great place to hear about who we are as a church, what our vision is, and also to get to know other people who are
[00:11:11] beginning to attend. Also, this time of year is the time when we talk about our vision for the upcoming year. And so that says February 21st after church, but the actual date's the 22nd, I believe. But we're not having church on Saturday. We're having it on Sunday. And after
[00:11:31] that we're gonna have a lunch and so we hope you'll stick around and join us it'll be a potluck so bring some food to share and we'll talk a little bit about our our hopes for this upcoming year we'll also kind of broadly present the
[00:11:45] budget at that lunch but if you would like a more in-depth detailed look at the budget as I know some people do we're gonna have an extra budget presentation on Saturday the 14th at 10 a.m. and the elders who are leading that
[00:11:59] I've just asked that you might RSVP so they have an idea of how many copies of the budget to print out and all that good stuff.
[00:12:06] But that's going to be Saturday at 10 o'clock for anyone who's interested.
[00:12:10] We're excited to welcome Brian back, who had spent the last couple of weeks in Africa on a mission trip.
[00:12:16] Welcome back, and we're glad you're here safely.
[00:12:19] And the other thing I want to announce, as you know, Shannon, her last Sunday was two weeks ago.
[00:12:26] and we meant to inform you of the plans last week but we canceled service and did the online thing but Dan has agreed to step in as our interim as we are going through this period of transition so
[00:12:39] we're really super grateful for him and and I just wanted to kind of ask you as we're getting started if you might just share with us a little bit about your kind of your passion for worship

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[00:12:50] and for the church yeah I mean I'm it's pretty simple I just really love this church like it's not necessarily about anything other than just the people you guys have all been so kind to Abby Luca and I and we've fallen in love with this community and if I could use my gifts whether
[00:13:06] it's for a few months or a long time if I could use my gifts to help serve the body then I'm

[00:13:11] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[00:13:11] really excited to do so so yeah happy to happy to do it well uh as we prepare for worship I just want us to take a moment here and take a deep breath and prepare as we transition into the rest
[00:13:25] of our service. Today we're talking about friendship, especially what God's call is on our lives for developing friendships with one another. And so however you're coming in this morning, this is an opportunity for you to recognize that the Lord sees you, to lay down
[00:13:47] whatever burdens you bring and trust him with them for the next few moments, and to know that your God is calling you to worship today.
[00:13:59] And with that, I want to invite you to stand and we're going to say this call to worship together.
[00:14:10] I say to the Lord, you are my Lord.
[00:14:14] Apart from you, I have no good thing.
[00:14:16] I say to the holy people who are in the land, they are the noble ones in whom is all my delight.
[00:14:25] You alone are my portion and my cup.
[00:14:29] You make my lot secure.
[00:14:32] The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.
[00:14:37] Surely I have a delightful inheritance.
[00:14:41] I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
[00:14:44] With Him at my right hand I will not be shaken.
[00:14:48] Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices.
[00:14:51] My body also will rest secure.
[00:14:54] You make known to me the path of life.
[00:14:58] You fill me with joy.
[00:15:00] your presence with eternal pleasures of your right hand. Let's pray. Breathe in us, O Holy Spirit,

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[00:15:13] that our thoughts may all be holy. Act in us, O Holy Spirit, that our work too may be holy.
[00:15:24] Draw our hearts, O Holy Spirit, that we love but what is holy. Strengthen us, O Holy Spirit, to defend all that is holy.
[00:15:36] Guard us then, O Holy Spirit, that we always may be holy.
[00:15:41] We're going to sing this song that you guys are all very familiar with.
[00:15:44] It's called Open the Eyes of My Heart.
[00:15:46] And it's very easy with these lyrics to kind of just sing them.
[00:15:49] So I just invite us while we're singing Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord, that we are just genuinely taking a moment to plea to him that he would open the eyes of our heart because I know
[00:16:00] that I need it.
[00:16:01] So, yeah.

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[00:16:25] These words to you this morning, proclaiming your name, declaring that, Lord, you are great.

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[00:24:13] Lord, as we come into this space and we consider your greatness, your goodness, and your majesty, Lord, we also become aware of our own selves and our need for your grace, your mercy, and your healing hand.
[00:24:33] Father, Lord, in this time, we want to turn our hearts towards you in prayer and confession to ask, Lord, that you would forgive us as we draw near.
[00:24:42] And so let us take a moment in silence and confess our sins before the Lord.
[00:24:47] I want to invite you now to pray this prayer with me together.
[00:25:05] Jesus, friend of sinners, your words to your disciples were very plain.
[00:25:16] Whatever we did for the least of our brothers and sisters, we did for you.
[00:25:23] But have we fed the hungry, invited in the stranger, clothed those whose garments were threadbare, looked after the sick, visited the incarcerated?
[00:25:37] In your mercy, Lord, please forgive us.
[00:25:44] As we hear this confession, we also come and we hear those words of God's promise.
[00:25:51] This morning I said we're going to be talking about friendship, and we hear these words from Jesus.
[00:25:56] He says, I no longer call you servants, because a servant doesn't know his master's business.
[00:26:01] Instead, I've called you friends.
[00:26:03] For everything that I learned from my Father, I've made known to you.
[00:26:07] You did not choose me, but I chose and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit, fruit that will last.
[00:26:15] And so whatever you ask in my name, the Father will give you.
[00:26:19] That means for those who repent and look to Jesus for forgiveness and salvation, the forgiveness of sins is guaranteed in the name of Jesus, the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
[00:26:31] Amen, amen.
[00:26:32] Well, now as we continue our worship, we have an opportunity to respond by giving. The gifts, the tithes that we give are not some kind of payment back to God, but they're a response to God because we believe he's given us everything that we have. And so we give back
[00:26:49] a first fruit. And that goes towards the ministry of this church. It goes towards helping people in this community. And so as we invite you to give and give joyfully as the ushers come around to
[00:27:01] collect that. And as they do, let me ask, do you guys have a little card inside of your bulletin this week that has the like my list of five thing on it? Okay, great. That is supposed to be in
[00:27:13] there. So you might remember we were looking at this little card before we went into the holiday season and encouraging you guys to start praying intentionally for the people that God has placed in your life. The card is in there and I want you to take a minute and look at it. And if possible,
[00:27:31] think about five people in your life that the Lord has placed around you people who maybe don't know him or have a community a faith of church that they belong to and I want to encourage you to renew or begin praying for these people we also want to be
[00:27:51] praying with you and so on the bottom there's some instructions on what exactly you're asking for in prayer so that we can join with you and pray that on the way out of the service there's
[00:28:03] a little basket and you can rip that bottom piece off and throw it in there and we're going to pray for you as well our our vision here at the church is that we are making room for everyone to
[00:28:13] experience joyful life transforming connection to Jesus and his people and so part of that means that we are going to be going out of this place and building relationships with others and and drawing them not just into a church, but into a relationship with each other and into a relationship
[00:28:34] with Jesus. And so take that, pray for it, and let's really trust that the Lord hasn't put anyone in your life by accident, but that he has a plan not only for you, but for them as well. And so

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[00:28:47] with that, I want to invite everybody to stand and sing this next song. I want to take this

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[00:33:44] opportunity to greet our neighbors and pass the peace of Christ and kids, you are dismissed for

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[00:33:48] Children's Church. You can head out this door. As we sing the doxology, remain standing for the

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[00:36:04] reading of God's word. Our passage this morning comes from 1 Samuel chapter 18 and selections from 20. After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David and he loved him as his self. From that day, Saul kept David with him and did not let him return
[00:36:26] home to his family. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as his self.
[00:36:33] Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing along with it and gave it to David, along with his tunic and even his sword, his bow, and his belt. Then, skipping ahead to verse chapter 20, then David fled
[00:36:49] from Niath at Ramah and went to Jonathan and asked, what have I done? What is my crime? How have I wronged your father that he is trying to kill me. Jonathan said to David, whatever you want me to do,
[00:37:06] I'll do it for you. So David said, look, tomorrow is the new moon feast, and I'm supposed to dine with the king, but let me go and hide in the field until evening of the day after tomorrow.
[00:37:17] If your father misses me at all, tell him David earnestly asked my permission to hurry to Bethlehem, his hometown, because of an annual sacrifice that's being made there for his whole clan. If he says, very well, then your servant is safe. But if he loses his temper, you can be sure that he is
[00:37:36] determined to harm me. Then Jonathan said to David, I swear by the Lord, the God of Israel, that I will surely sound out my father by this time, the day after tomorrow. If he's favorably disposed
[00:37:51] to you, will I not send you word and let you know? So Jonathan made a covenant with David, saying, May the Lord call David's enemies to account. And Jonathan had David reaffirm his oath out of love
[00:38:06] for him, because he loved him as he loved himself. So David hid in the field, and when the new moon feast came, the king sat down to eat. But the next day, the second day of the month, David's place
[00:38:19] was empty again. And then Saul said to his son Jonathan, why hasn't the son of Jesse come to the meal either today or yesterday? Jonathan answered, David earnestly asked me for permission to go to Bethlehem. Saul's anger flared up at Jonathan and he said to him, you son of a perverse
[00:38:41] and rebellious woman, don't I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of your mother who bore you. As long as the son of Jesse lives on earth,
[00:38:54] neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send someone to bring him to me, for he must die. Jonathan got up from the table in fierce anger. On that second day of the feast, he did
[00:39:08] not eat because he was grieved at his father's shameful treatment of David. In the morning, David went out to the field for his meeting with David. David got up from the south side of the
[00:39:20] stone and bowed down toward Jonathan three times. With his face to the ground, they kissed each other and they wept together, but David wept the most. Jonathan said to David, go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, the Lord is witness
[00:39:39] between you and me and between your descendants and my descendants forever. Then David left and Jonathan went back to the town. This is the word of the Lord. You can be seated. Let's pray. Lord,
[00:39:53] as we open your word this morning, we come to you seeking to hear your voice. God, we pray that your word would not return to you empty. We pray, God, that you would speak your truth to our hearts.
[00:40:10] Lord, we also remember those in this congregation who are in need, and we intercede on their behalf.
[00:40:16] We think especially of John Shuler this morning as he's battling cancer and going through radiation treatments that are difficult.
[00:40:24] We ask, God, that you would strengthen his body, that you would heal him, that you would be with Faye as she takes care of him.
[00:40:32] We pray, Lord, for all those who are sick in our midst, that you would heal them, those in need that you would provide, those that are lonely, that you would comfort, and Lord, we pray, God, that your spirit would move us in such a way that
[00:40:44] we would become a people who bring your kingdom here on earth. We pray this in Christ's name.
[00:40:51] Amen. Amen. Okay. Well, about 1,600 years ago in a sermon, Augustine said this. He said, in this world, two things are essential, life and friendship. God created us that we might exist and live this life, but we are not to remain solitary. There must be friendship. Okay, now I
[00:41:22] would say that is a very high view of friendship, to say that it is one of the most important two essential things in the world. But you know what? I think we could stand to develop a little bit
[00:41:37] higher view of friendship these days. You know, we live in an age now where connectivity is unparalleled, right? We have more connection between individual human beings than we have ever had before in the history of the world. And yet, it also seems like we live in a time where
[00:41:57] there is more loneliness, more isolation than ever before. So today we're going to look at David, we're going to look at Jonathan, we're going to look at this friendship, one of the most famous friendships in all of scripture. But instead of going verse by verse through the events of this
[00:42:15] story, I want us to just a little bit more broadly consider this topic of biblical friendship.
[00:42:23] I think when I consider my own life in the church, I don't know that I've ever heard a sermon preached about friendship before, but friendships truly are essential in God's plan for the flourishing of his people. And this morning, I want us to talk about that. I want us to think
[00:42:41] about why friendship is so important and what kind of blessings God has for us that he wants to pour into our lives and into this church if we would really pursue his gift of friendship. And
[00:42:56] So to do that, today we're going to look at three things.
[00:42:58] We're going to see how friendship is vital, friendship is possible, and friendship is powerful.
[00:43:09] Okay? Pretty simple. Let's do it.
[00:43:10] Friendship is vital. That's the first thing we're going to look at.
[00:43:15] In Proverbs, when they're talking about friendship, it says, there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
[00:43:24] And that is the kind of friendship we're talking about when we look at David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel.
[00:43:32] A couple of verses that we read I want to bring to your attention.
[00:43:34] First of all, it's chapter 18, verse 1, where it says, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.
[00:43:47] Verse 3, it says, Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.
[00:43:53] And then in chapter 20, it says it again.
[00:43:55] And Jonathan and David, they reaffirmed his oath out of love for him because he loved him as himself.
[00:44:03] And as you read through this book and you see all of their interactions, you realize that Jonathan and David, they were really friends.
[00:44:12] Jonathan and David, they have each other's back on every page of this story, even in the face of great difficulty, even when there are threats to their own lives.
[00:44:23] they are always remaining loyal to one another. They're loyal companions, faithful supporters, no matter what happens. It's inspiring, right? We see their relationship, and I think it's the kind of friendship we all want to be a part of. It's the kind of friendship we're all
[00:44:45] longing for. But let's be honest, right? It's hard to find a friend like that.
[00:44:53] In today's day and age, it can be hard to make these kinds of connections.
[00:44:58] And I think there's good reasons, right?
[00:45:00] There's a lot of reasons why making friends is harder, maybe especially the longer you go in life.
[00:45:07] I read a book by this guy, Pastor Drew Hunter, and it's called Made for Friendship.
[00:45:15] And in this book, he outlines what he sees are kind of the three major obstacles to forming friendships in modern society.
[00:45:23] And the first one, I think it's pretty obvious.
[00:45:26] He says it's busyness, right?
[00:45:29] Increasingly, we live these lives that are just packed full to the brim, right?
[00:45:33] Our lives are regimented.
[00:45:35] Our schedules are full, right?
[00:45:38] We've got work.
[00:45:39] We've got school.
[00:45:40] We have kids' activities to deal with.
[00:45:42] We have meetings.
[00:45:43] We have vacations that we've planned.
[00:45:45] we've got grandchildren to watch, we've got travel ball games to go to, whatever it may be.
[00:45:51] We have so many things happening all the time. But when our lives get that full, it becomes nearly impossible to find meaningful time to develop friendships, right? Especially if we're not making that one of our top priorities like everything else we've got going on. And then
[00:46:09] Secondly, there's the problem of technology, right?
[00:46:13] Snapchat, Facebook, it's given us this list of hundreds of people, thousands of people that we call friends, right?
[00:46:22] But they're not really friends.
[00:46:24] You know, they're mostly a list of acquaintances, people who maybe we sort of recognize their faces and remember how we got connected once upon a time.
[00:46:33] And then of course you got FaceTime and email and text messaging.
[00:46:38] And we have this kind of constant access to everyone, but it's just not the same, right?
[00:46:45] It's not the same as being present in the same room.
[00:46:49] Do you guys remember when COVID first started and everything had to be sent over to Zoom?
[00:46:56] Do you remember that initially there was like a little bit of excitement about that?
[00:47:00] Like it seemed like a good thing.
[00:47:01] Like, oh man, this is going to be great.
[00:47:03] Like we can do school on Zoom.
[00:47:06] The church is like, hey, we can have a prayer meeting every day on Zoom.
[00:47:10] And hey, me and my buddies, we can do happy hour on Zoom together.
[00:47:14] It's going to be awesome.
[00:47:17] And it wasn't, right?
[00:47:19] It was not awesome.
[00:47:21] Because technology, by definition, it disembodies and it depersonalizes our connection.
[00:47:28] It removes that feeling of presence, that reality of companionship that you only have when you're together in the same physical space.
[00:47:39] It can be a useful tool for getting information back and forth, but it makes true connection difficult.
[00:47:49] And then the third issue he mentions is mobility.
[00:47:52] The world is just a lot more mobile than it used to be, right?
[00:47:56] Especially than it was in David and Jonathan's time in ancient Israel.
[00:48:00] Like most of us will probably find ourselves living somewhere different in a part of our lives.
[00:48:09] We have jobs that might send us across the country or send us around the world.
[00:48:14] And that means that we may have a season in life where we just have to start over.
[00:48:20] And constantly having to start over and form new relationships, it's challenging.
[00:48:28] Relationships, they take a lot of time.
[00:48:31] And then in addition to those things, I'll add another one my own list and I think this is also a big obstacle to friendships and that's just the wounds that we have you know many of us this is
[00:48:46] that we've dealt with the heartache that comes from friendships we've dealt with betrayal we have experienced what it's like to have someone close to us violate our trust. And when that happens, it makes it harder to trust again the next time. It makes it
[00:49:09] harder to want to be open and to want to be vulnerable to somebody that can hurt you like that. And I think it is especially pronounced in a place like the church. I was talking to an older
[00:49:25] pastor recently and and he was sharing with me that one of if not the most difficult thing for him about ministry is just this dynamic the choice to open yourself up to someone else and and care
[00:49:43] for them and care about them and and to start to trust them and then only to have them cut off relationship and leave often over something small, something trivial. This pastor, he's only a few
[00:49:57] years away from retirement age, and he's sharing just all the different wounds he gathered up over the years. And he was saying that it really is a constant act of faith. It is a continual
[00:50:11] choice that he has to make to be obedient to God and keep his heart soft for friendship with others. I bring that up because there's a lot of obstacles. There's a lot of reasons why friendships
[00:50:27] can be hard, but they all combine to bring us into this situation that Dr. Joel Beek, he says, that in today's world, too many of God's people, they just don't have any friends to whom they can
[00:50:41] bear their souls. Maybe you can relate to that. Maybe that's something that you find yourself feeling from time to time. And if you do, if you find yourself longing for this kind of deep friendship, I want you to know, first of all, you're actually in a good position. If you want
[00:51:02] better and deeper friendships with others, it is a good sign. Because that ache for friendship, scripture tells us, is actually a part of what it means to be made in God's image. The God we have
[00:51:19] in scripture. The God of the Bible is a triune God. He's a trinity. That means he is one God in three persons. And so that means that God, just in his very essence, is fundamentally relational.
[00:51:35] Our God is a God of relationship. And Genesis 1 tells us that we are like him. Genesis 1, it says, God created mankind in his own image. In the image of God, he created them male and female.
[00:51:51] He created them. So part of being made in the image of this relational God, well, it means that we need relationships. We are incomplete without them in our lives. And if you remember the other
[00:52:09] big thing, right? Probably the main thing that happens in Genesis 1 is that God creates the world. And as he creates each thing, what does he say about it? He says, it is good, right? He creates
[00:52:21] this good world. But then in Genesis chapter 2, God looks out on the world and he says this. He says, it is not good for the man to be alone. Remember, that's before the fall. That is before
[00:52:39] sin has entered into our existence. But it means that our desire for relationship, that's not a flaw, right? That's not sinful. It's actually a part of who we are designed to be. I mean, think about it, right? In the Garden of Eden, what was Adam really lacking? He had everything
[00:53:01] that he needed. He had full access to God, and yet he still, it says, needed human companionship.
[00:53:12] He needed someone with him. Or another example, Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, right? Jesus is perfect. He's sinless. He has a direct line to God, perfectly comfortable in his relationship to God as his heavenly father. And yet, when he is suffering, when he is about to be crucified, and
[00:53:34] he's going out to pray, what does he need? He needs his friends. We were made for friendship.
[00:53:44] That means friendship's not just some bonus thing that you should consider if you've got time for it. It's actually something you need. It's a part of our design. And of course, you know, we see in
[00:53:58] Genesis with the creation of Eve, that if you're married, well, your marriage should be first and foremost a friendship. But whether you are married or single, we all still share this same design. We all still share that need for relationship. It is not good to be alone.
[00:54:22] And so, yeah, friendship is hard.
[00:54:24] It's elusive.
[00:54:24] There's all kinds of obstacles.
[00:54:27] But we need to prioritize them because we're made for them.
[00:54:32] We're made for community.
[00:54:34] So that's the first thing.
[00:54:36] Friendship is vital for us.
[00:54:39] But secondly, what we see is that friendship is possible.
[00:54:45] Okay, so I do want to talk kind of practically about how you might go about building friendships.
[00:54:50] But before I do that, I just want to talk a little bit about covenant friendship, biblical friendship.
[00:54:58] I want to share about how that might be a little different from the way we tend to think about friendship in our world today.
[00:55:08] See, when you look at David and Jonathan and the way that they relate to each other, there is one key thing that stands out in this text, right?
[00:55:19] There is something unique about their relationship because their relationship is bound in commitment, right?
[00:55:27] They are truly committed to one another.
[00:55:30] They covenant with one another.
[00:55:32] They bind their friendship together with a promise.
[00:55:37] Now, you look at the two guys and their stories in Scripture, and you say, yeah, they loved each other.
[00:55:42] They enjoyed hanging out together.
[00:55:44] They certainly seem like they've got a lot in common.
[00:55:48] but their commitment was deeper than all that stuff. It wasn't about any of those particular shared interests they have. Their love for each other was more than just a mutual admiration.
[00:56:04] It was more than just affection. It was the biblical definition of love, right? You know, we talk about that a lot in the church, what the difference between the way the world views love and the way the Bible speaks about love.
[00:56:21] You know, love isn't just a feeling in Scripture.
[00:56:23] Love is a conscious decision to consider another person's well-being above your own.
[00:56:32] That's what love is in Scripture.
[00:56:33] It is a conscious decision to consider another person's well-being above our own.
[00:56:44] And we see that, right?
[00:56:45] In 1 Samuel, in verse 3 that we read, it said, Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. We haven't talked a whole lot about Jonathan in the last few weeks. We had a couple of snow weeks. Maybe you
[00:57:02] don't remember who he was. Do you remember who he is? Jonathan, he's Saul's son, right? He is a mighty warrior. Jonathan was beloved by the people of Israel, probably more than his father was.
[00:57:18] And, of course, Jonathan, most importantly in this story, he is the heir to the throne.
[00:57:25] But David, but Jonathan, he saw the excellence of David.
[00:57:29] And he saw this anointing that God had put on David's life.
[00:57:34] And out of this abundance of love for him, Jonathan sacrificed.
[00:57:41] Jonathan gave up his throne for David.
[00:57:44] And maybe you're thinking, wait a second, where does it say he gave up his throne?
[00:57:48] I don't think I read that.
[00:57:49] Well, you did. It's verse 4. It says, Jonathan took off the robe that he was wearing, and he gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his belt, his sword, and his bow.
[00:58:04] See, you might not notice this, but here's what's going on. It doesn't stick out the same way to our ears and our eyes, But in the ancient Near East, in the ancient world, clothing, and especially robes, were symbolic of somebody's inheritance.
[00:58:21] Somebody's position in the family.
[00:58:23] Maybe you remember the story of Joseph and how Jacob, his father, gave him a very ornate robe.
[00:58:32] And suddenly all his brothers were filled with jealousy and anger.
[00:58:36] It wasn't a fashion problem, right?
[00:58:39] The issue with the coat was because it said something about his inheritance.
[00:58:42] It said something about his position in the hierarchy of the brothers, and they were filled with anger.
[00:58:48] Or maybe you remember the story of the prodigal son, the younger brother who takes his inheritance, and he goes off and he squanders it.
[00:58:56] But then when he returns, what happens?
[00:58:59] The father runs out to him, and he puts this robe on him, and he tells the servants to start a feast.
[00:59:05] It was a symbol that he had been welcomed back into his position in the household. And that's part of the reason why the elder brother, it says, is furious.
[00:59:17] Because it threatens his inheritance and what he thought rightfully belonged to him. And so back to our passage, right? Jonathan, out of this love for his friend David, takes off his royal robe and he gives it to him. He gladly, he hands over his birthright. He pledges his lifelong loyalty
[00:59:42] to him. And Saul, of course, you hear it in his anger. He picks up on it. He says, as long as you live, your rule will be threatened as long as David is alive. But we see Jonathan, he's faithful
[00:59:54] to the promise he made. In the story we read, he risks his life to protect David. He absorbs the wrath of his father and faces his anger so that David can escape and get away safely. See, a
[01:00:14] Biblical friendship is different than the world's view of friendship because it is a covenanted friendship.
[01:00:21] It's a friendship that perseveres through ups and downs.
[01:00:26] It is a friendship that sacrifices.
[01:00:28] It is a friendship that remains despite the world around it changing.
[01:00:34] And that's kind of, I think it's a strange concept for us even to consider because we live in a very consumeristic world, right?
[01:00:44] We are used to taking things and leaving them, and we struggle to build friendships because, well, we've been conditioned to think of our friendships like commodities, like things that come and go, things that we can take and dispose of.
[01:01:03] I mean, even this story, right?
[01:01:05] We look at it and we admire it because it's in the Bible.
[01:01:08] We're glad to see Jonathan sacrificing for David, But in real life, right now, if we saw somebody do this, we would think it was totally weird.
[01:01:19] We would call somebody crazy if they turned down a promotion or gave it to a friend.
[01:01:26] We would call somebody crazy if they chose to stick around in a town or stick around in a job or stick around in a church because they were committed to just a friend.
[01:01:41] No, we tell people, just live your life.
[01:01:43] you can make new friends. Go out there and find them. And I think that approach to friendship, that view of friendship, is exactly what is preventing us from finding the friendships we're looking for, from finding these kind of enduring relationships that our souls were made
[01:02:05] for. But friendship is possible. No matter what age you are, friendship is possible, but it will always require what we see here in this story. It'll always require commitment, and it will always require sacrifice. Now, it probably won't require you to sacrifice your father's throne
[01:02:30] and the entire kingdom to have a friendship, but it will require that you sacrifice time.
[01:02:38] It will require you sacrifice energy. It will require that you sacrifice some of your preferences.
[01:02:47] your convenience. It will require that you make the choice to become vulnerable and open yourself up to hurt. You'll need to do those things if you want deep friendship. And maybe you hear that and you're like, okay, I do want this. You know, I see it and I want it, but
[01:03:08] I don't know how. I've been wanting a good friend for a long time. How do we get started? Well, first off before I got a list of some practical things but before I share those I actually just
[01:03:22] want to clarify you know you can be a good friend with anyone but the kind of friendship that we're talking about this morning this covenant friendship this biblical friendship well it always begins with Christ that's one thing that sets it apart from the other friendships in the world here's a
[01:03:39] a definition I found of biblical friendship. It says, biblical friendship exists when two or more people bound together by a common faith in Christ pursue him and his kingdom with intentionality and vulnerability. I'll read that one more time. Biblical friendship exists
[01:04:02] when two or more people bound together by a common faith in Jesus Christ pursue him and his kingdom with intentionality and vulnerability.
[01:04:15] So ultimately, that's saying that what binds a covenant friendship, it's not just some common affinity.
[01:04:20] It's not just your favorite sports team or the hometown that you grew up in.
[01:04:26] Those things can form friendships.
[01:04:29] But the thing that binds a biblical friendship is our connection to the Lord.
[01:04:35] And I actually think this is such a great gift to us.
[01:04:39] I mean, it has definitely been my experience that in the church, God calls together all kinds of people.
[01:04:46] And you find yourself entering into a relationship with folks that you never would have chosen on your own, right?
[01:04:53] People from different places, different backgrounds, different age groups.
[01:04:57] But over time, because of this common shared bond in Christ, you may find that some of the greatest friends you ever have come from a place you never expected.
[01:05:09] the type of person you never would have picked had God not put them directly in your life.
[01:05:15] But with that said, I do want to give us a little bit of practical stuff, you know, a few practical steps that can help us form these kinds of friendships if we're struggling.
[01:05:24] Actually, I read too many things for this sermon.
[01:05:27] That's one of the problems, right?
[01:05:28] I got 30 minutes to talk to you and I read three books.
[01:05:31] It's too much.
[01:05:32] But one of the other books I read was called this.
[01:05:34] It's, I can't even read it now.
[01:05:36] It says, How Should We Develop Biblical Friendships?
[01:05:39] And he gives us a few steps, really practical little things.
[01:05:44] He says, one, talk together, right?
[01:05:47] That's not rocket science, I don't think.
[01:05:49] But if you want to get to know somebody, the first step is you're going to have to talk to them.
[01:05:54] And going along with that, you need to listen to them, right?
[01:05:58] To not only share who you are, but to take time to hear what it is that they're really saying.
[01:06:04] but in addition to that, I think some of the things we might not easily think of is serving together. When you and another person turn your attention to serving others, to caring about a cause or another person, it actually has a great ability to deepen your bond and your sense of
[01:06:28] connectedness. And along that same line, another thing that we get to do together in the church is to pray together. You know, when we turn our hearts towards others and serving them, that binds us together. But when we turn our hearts together towards the Lord, it gives us a new dimension
[01:06:48] to our relationship. You know, for the last several years, I've been meeting with pretty much the same group of people every Tuesday at 9 a.m., and we pray together. And I'll say that my sense of
[01:07:01] connection to those people is deeper than a lot of people in the church because of that, because we've turned our hearts together in the pursuit of prayer. Another thing that we can do to build friendships is just enjoy life together. Just because a friendship is grounded
[01:07:21] in faith, that doesn't mean it's going to be solemn and serious all the time. In fact, part of our need for companionship, part of the joy of companionship, is just that we can do fun things
[01:07:35] with people. We can live normal life together. And so that means, you know, if you want to deepen a relationship with somebody, don't just see them at church events, but get together with them. Invite them to your house. Watch a game together. Have coffee together. Spend some time
[01:07:53] together doing something. Share a meal. You know, be a human being. And then the last thing I'll mention, I think this one also stands apart, is that to develop these covenant friendships, the other key thing we need to learn to do is repent together. See, every relationship that you're ever
[01:08:16] going to be a part of is going to have conflict eventually. You never see eye to eye 100% of the time with everybody. And the difference between a disposable friendship and a friendship that's going to last is developing the ability to apologize, developing the ability to tell
[01:08:36] someone when you've been hurt, and then to commit to reconcile instead of just running away and finding somebody better when it feels like that's easier. See, friendship, it's elusive, but it is possible. And that brings us to the third thing. And that's simply this. It's that
[01:09:00] friendship is powerful. You know, generally speaking, I think the idea of friendship, it just doesn't carry the same kind of weight as other relationships. I read somebody saying that band of brothers seems a lot more weighty than band of besties, right? We don't think of friendship
[01:09:24] as like the pinnacle of relationships.
[01:09:27] But I think that carries out into other areas of our life.
[01:09:31] I think our low view of friendship actually impacts our theology too.
[01:09:36] A lot of times we end up talking about Jesus as a king.
[01:09:40] We talk about Jesus as a priest.
[01:09:43] We talk about Jesus as a redeemer, but we don't talk quite as much about Jesus as a friend.
[01:09:50] But did you know that on the night of Jesus' betrayal, when he was speaking to his disciples about his death that was coming, he did not talk about that as if it were, he didn't mention that as a priestly sacrifice, even though it was.
[01:10:10] He didn't talk about it as a teamly victory that was coming, even though it was also that.
[01:10:17] And he didn't talk about it as a redemptive exchange that he was making for their lives, even though, of course, it was that. No, what did he say?
[01:10:28] He talked about his coming death as an act of friendship. He said, my command is this, love each other as I've loved you. Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one's life
[01:10:46] for his friends. In light of that verse, Tim Keller, he said, the entire history of redemption, in a sense is a giant cosmic act of friendship. After Jesus spoke those words he went on to say
[01:11:06] no longer do I call you servants because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead I have called you friends. We've talked a lot about our need for friendship this morning but I want you to know that the gospel is wonderful news because it is the ultimate answer
[01:11:29] to this aching in our hearts. We see this story where Jonathan gave his robe to David. And of course, it's amazing, right, that Jonathan would do that. It's an astonishing act of humility and friendship. And we see him standing up to his father's unrighteous wrath and putting his own
[01:11:50] life at risk so that David could escape. And we think, man, that is courageous. That's amazing.
[01:11:55] That is a friend. But I also think in a way, when we see Jonathan doing that, it kind of makes sense, right? Because we know who David is. We know who David's going to become, right? Of course he would
[01:12:11] do that. David is the man after God's own heart. David, he's the greatest king of Israel. It just, those actions are inspiring, but well, he was worth the sacrifice. But guys, what Jesus did for us
[01:12:29] makes no sense. Jesus left the throne for us, but we're not that great, let's be honest.
[01:12:41] Jesus took the wrath of his father, and his wrath wasn't like Saul's wrath, because his wrath was righteous, and his wrath was deserved. We had earned it because we were sinful and rebellious.
[01:12:56] It makes no sense, but the gospel is that Jesus has called us his friends, and he's entered into covenant with us that he has wrapped us in the robe of his righteousness he really is what the people said he is the friend of sinners there's no greater love that could ever
[01:13:24] exist on earth that jesus christ would lay down his life for his friends jesus is that ultimate friend that your heart is seeking but you also need to know the provision he's made it's not
[01:13:41] just spiritual. It's not just up there, out there, somewhere, where. We've already said that's not enough. It wasn't enough for Jesus. It wasn't enough for Adam, but he actually makes his provision for us completely because he ended his speech to his disciples by saying this, this is my command,
[01:14:02] love each other, right? This sacrificial, covenantal, friendship, love of God.
[01:14:12] when you receive that, it actually becomes the power in your life to build these kind of true friendships that we need.
[01:14:21] When you start to get to know God and you realize that he is a friend who doesn't run away when times get hard with you, then his spirit gives you the power not to run away when times get hard with his people.
[01:14:37] When we're loved by a God who commits, who sacrifices, who loves us enough to call us out on our mess and to lead us into greater holiness, well, then we can be the kinds of friends
[01:14:50] who call each other out on our messes.
[01:14:54] Be friends who do the same.
[01:14:57] See, the friendship of Jesus, it's powerful.
[01:15:04] And today we have this opportunity to come and participate in it.
[01:15:11] See, this meal, it is a symbol of Jesus' commitment to us.
[01:15:19] And it is also a symbol of how Jesus has made a way for us to have connection with each other.
[01:15:27] You remember how Paul says in 1 Corinthians, because there is one loaf, we who are many are one body, because we all share this one loaf.
[01:15:41] That means today we're coming to this table to respond, and it is a feast table.
[01:15:47] It's a table where God has invited us to gather around with him as his friends.
[01:15:54] It's also a table for reconciliation.
[01:15:57] Scripture says if you come here and you know that your brother has something against you, this is the time to make things right.
[01:16:05] It's the time to repent.
[01:16:06] It's the time to reconcile.
[01:16:08] It is the time to receive the strength you need to be reunited.
[01:16:13] This is a table that's open for everyone who would come by faith.
[01:16:21] If that describes you this morning, if you have a heart that is aching for a friend and you know that Jesus is the only one who can fill that ache, then this table is for you.
[01:16:33] But I'll say, if you're here this morning and you don't know the Lord, first of all, we are so happy that you're here.
[01:16:40] It takes a lot of courage to come to a church and check things out, but we would love to pray for you at this table.
[01:16:47] And I'd ask, though, if you don't believe, don't take it just yet, because this meal has power in it.
[01:16:52] It's not just a remembrance, but this is a place where we're going to be fed by the grace of God.
[01:16:57] And so we ask, if you don't believe, Hold off until you are ready for that, until you can come to this table and be filled with gratitude and thanksgiving.
[01:17:07] And as we receive this, we want to say this liturgy of thanksgiving together.
[01:17:12] It goes like this.
[01:17:14] The Lord be with you.
[01:17:17] Lift up your hearts.
[01:17:24] Let us give thanks to the Lord.
[01:17:29] It is right and good and a joyful thing, always and everywhere, to give thanks to you, Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth.
[01:17:39] because on the night that Jesus was betrayed, after giving thanks, he took bread, and he broke it, and he said, this is my body, given for you.
[01:17:51] Take and eat of it, all of you.
[01:17:56] And then in the same way, after the supper, he took the cup, and he said, this cup is the new covenant in my blood.
[01:18:03] As often as you drink of it, do this in remembrance of me, because as often as we eat this bread and we drink this cup, we proclaim the Lord's death until he comes again.
[01:18:17] And together we proclaim this mystery of the faith.
[01:18:21] Christ has died.
[01:18:23] Christ is risen.
[01:18:25] Christ will come again.
[01:18:27] Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed for us once and for all upon the cross.
[01:18:34] Therefore, let us keep the feast.
[01:18:38] These are the gifts of God for you, the people of God.
[01:18:41] Take them in remembrance that Christ died for you.
[01:18:44] and feed on them in your heart by faith and with thanksgiving.
[01:18:50] I want to give you all a couple of words of instruction as we take this together.
[01:18:54] We have gluten-free wafers for those who require it.
[01:18:58] We have bread.
[01:18:59] We also have juice in the center of these trays and wine around the outer edges.
[01:19:05] We're going to have two elders up here, myself and Jim, to distribute the elements.
[01:19:12] And we also have Brian over in the corner who is available for prayer.
[01:19:16] I would encourage you, please, take that opportunity to receive prayer for him from whatever may be on your heart.
[01:19:25] We're going to receive these elements and go back to our seats, and then we'll take them all together at the end.
[01:19:29] If you're hungry and thirsty for the righteousness of Christ, please come on.
[01:19:35] Now, as we receive this tangible representation of the grace being offered to us in this moment, I invite you to take and eat the body of Christ.
[01:24:56] As we take this cup, the cup of the new covenant, remember that this is the cup not of what you have done, but what Christ has done.
[01:25:07] Picture this as the robe being wrapped around you, the robe of his perfect standing before the Lord.
[01:25:13] Take and drink the blood of Christ.
[01:25:19] Let us pray.
[01:25:23] Father, we thank you for the gift that you fed us today with your most precious body and blood.
[01:25:32] We recognize that this is no ordinary meal, but it is preparing us for that great day when we will all gather together around the table with you in perfect delight, with everything made as it was meant to be.
[01:25:49] Lord, we ask now as you minister to our breaking and lonely hearts that you would fill us and that we would go out from this place ministering to others the same way that you've ministered to us.
[01:26:05] That our love would flow into our homes, into our neighborhoods, our workplaces, our schools.
[01:26:12] And Lord, that your gospel would be made known.
[01:26:14] We pray in Christ's name. Amen.
[01:26:17] Please stand with us as we sing our closing song.

[01:26:21] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[01:26:21] Before we sing, it's on my heart to share with you guys the opportunity we've just been given.
[01:26:31] It's a powerful, powerful thing that we just did.
[01:26:35] taking the body and the blood of Jesus.
[01:26:39] In doing that, we're ourselves receiving forgiveness for our sins.
[01:26:46] And we could lose the opportunity to really let the Holy Spirit do something in our own hearts.
[01:26:56] And so I just want to invite each of us, close your eyes if you want to, I'm probably going to keep mine closed, to take a moment and ask the Lord, is there any place in your heart where you are struggling to
[01:27:13] love or forgive another person? And to ask Him to come in and break down those walls so that we can love the way He loves us, so that the enemy can't rob us of the good gift of friendship
[01:27:35] with one another so just pay attention to the stirring of the spirit in your own hearts where do you need to let go because the lord can do it in a second in an instant that hardness can
[01:28:01] fall away and he can fill your heart with love for that person he can cover that that circumstance that wrong so father we ask you to do that in the mighty name of Jesus for
[01:28:18] each one of us here in our marriages and our families and our friendships and that we would embrace the the words of the song we're about to sing and we would live it out with you and with one another to your glory in Jesus name Amen

[01:29:00] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_09]
[01:29:00] Now let's receive this blessing as we go out from this place,

[01:31:45] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[01:31:45] knowing that Jesus has looked at you, and he's called you friend.
[01:31:49] May the Lord bless you and keep you.
[01:31:51] May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you.
[01:31:55] May the Lord lift up his face upon you and give you peace.
[01:31:59] In the name of Jesus, amen.
[01:32:22] Hey, I just wanted to give a big shout-out to F.J. Irvin and his crew for plowing our parking lot this week.
[01:32:32] Well, everybody tell him thank you.
[01:32:33] We're grateful.