Wisdom, Virtue, and the Gospel: Moving Beyond Cultural Chemistry

• [Proverbs 31](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31&version=KJV) and Financial Wisdom [00:32:23 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor introduces Proverbs 31 as a text for discussing God's wisdom regarding finances, specifically linking the 'excellent wife' to financial stewardship and marriage choices.
• Cultural Norms vs. Biblical Pattern on Family [00:37:56 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor contrasts the modern cultural advice to prioritize career and money over having children with the biblical mandate to be fruitful and multiply, arguing that the church must push back against cultural advice.
• Marriage as a Financial Decision [00:39:33 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that marriage is beneficial for finances but warns that the choice of spouse is critical, citing personal observations of financial ruin in bad marriages.
• Marriage and Finances [00:39:23 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that choosing a spouse is a critical financial decision and that marriage, when entered wisely, is beneficial for financial life.
• Normative Christian Living [00:40:32 ▶️ 📄]
  > He advocates for making marriage and raising children the normative expectation for the church community, while acknowledging it is not the mandatory path for every individual.
• Exegesis of [Proverbs 31](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31&version=KJV) [00:43:04 ▶️ 📄]
  > He reframes Proverbs 31 not as a standard for women to meet, but as a literary device and advice from a mother to a son on what kind of wise woman to pursue.
• Biblical Pattern of Romance [00:46:51 ▶️ 📄]
  > He uses Genesis 2 to outline God's pattern: work, find a helper, leave parents, cleave to spouse, and become one flesh, contrasting this with modern cultural norms.
• Financial Wisdom and Poverty Prevention [00:51:59 ▶️ 📄]
  > He cites the Institute for Family Studies' 'success sequence' (education, work, marriage before kids) as a 97% guarantee against poverty, aligning it with God's design.
• [Proverbs 31](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31&version=KJV) Interpretation [00:53:46 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that the Proverbs 31 woman is a literary creation to demonstrate virtues, not a literal standard that women must perfectly keep, urging listeners to imitate virtues rather than despair over the impossible standard.
• Character vs. Chemistry [01:00:18 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor contrasts cultural emphasis on 'chemistry' and physical attraction with the biblical priority of 'godliness' and character, warning against overemphasizing charm at the detriment of spiritual maturity.
• The Ministry of Blessing [00:59:25 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor calls the congregation to actively name and bless godly qualities in others, arguing that praising what is right reinforces it, and that this practice models values to younger generations.
• Spiritual Motherhood [01:06:41 ▶️ 📄]
  > Expanding the definition of 'mom' beyond biological relationships, the pastor cites Romans 16 to encourage blessing 'spiritual mothers' and investing in future generations for those who cannot have biological children.
• [Proverbs 31](https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31&version=KJV) Virtues [01:09:44 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor clarifies that the specific archetype of the 'Proverbs 31 woman' is not a literal requirement for all, but the virtues associated with her (generosity, godliness) are universal mandates for all believers regardless of marital or parental status.
• Agents of Blessing [01:10:01 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor defines the goal of God's people as being 'agents of blessing for godliness' and reclaiming what is strange to the world to see God's wisdom flourish in the church.
• Congregational Response [01:10:31 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor issues a specific call to action for the congregation to find someone to bless, specifically mentioning those who have 'mommed' them in the church, before the musical response.

• Sermon Illustration [00:35:47 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor recounts an interview with former Senator Ben Sasse, who was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer. Sasse lamented dropping birth rates, which sparked brutal online comments criticizing the idea of having more kids in the current economy and state of the world.
• Sermon Illustration [00:37:34 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor shares a personal anecdote about his youth group in the 90s, where the norm was to grow up, marry, and have kids, contrasting it with the current norm of pursuing career and money first, with children as an afterthought.
• Sermon Illustration [00:41:24 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor shares personal testimony that being a husband and father has made him a better person, joking that he is 'dangerous to himself and others by myself' and that God did the world a favor by providing him a wife and kids.
• Sermon Illustration [00:43:25 ▶️ 📄]
  > He references a text message asking why wisdom is personified as a woman, leading to an explanation that Proverbs is addressed to young men seeking wives, making 'Lady Wisdom' a metaphor for the ideal spouse.
• Sermon Illustration [00:55:13 ▶️ 📄]
  > He uses an analogy of Jim Carrey's early impressions of celebrities, arguing that we should be 'impressed by the likeness' of the Proverbs 31 virtues rather than 'disappointed by the difference' when we fail to meet the literal standard.
• Sermon Illustration [00:55:13 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor uses an analogy of young Jim Carrey doing celebrity impressions, noting that viewers are impressed by the likeness rather than disappointed by the differences, to illustrate how we should view the Proverbs 31 virtues as examples to imitate rather than a standard to judge ourselves against.
• Sermon Illustration [01:02:58 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor shares an anecdote about premarital counseling, stating that his goal is to 'give you stuff to fight about' because if a couple never fights, he cannot assess their character, only their 'vibes' or chemistry.
• Sermon Illustration [01:09:44 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor uses a hypothetical scenario to illustrate the universality of virtue: 'I cannot say, well, my wife is generous to the poor, so I can be mean to them. No, that should be true for all of us.'

• Pastoral Charge [00:50:50 ▶️ 📄]
  > Communicate to dating partners the intention to wait for marriage and prioritize a committed marital relationship.
• Pastoral Charge [00:51:33 ▶️ 📄]
  > Follow the biblical sequence of life: education, employment, marriage, then children.
• Pastoral Charge [01:04:13 ▶️ 📄]
  > Identify and verbally bless individuals who display godly character.
• Pastoral Charge [01:04:47 ▶️ 📄]
  > Verbally name and celebrate the godliness of moms and wives.
• Pastoral Charge [01:10:31 ▶️ 📄]
  > Find a specific person (mom or spiritual mother) and bless them before leaving the church.
• Pastoral Charge [01:10:17 ▶️ 📄]
  > Come forward to pray
• Pastoral Charge [01:10:31 ▶️ 📄]
  > Find a spiritual mother figure or mentor in the church, bless them, and communicate how they have impacted your life and received God's blessing through them.
• Pastoral Charge [01:11:05 ▶️ 📄]
  > Come forward to pray or leave the service prepared to bless someone else.

[00:02:19] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:02:19] Happy Mother's Day. Good to see everybody. I'll just take one quick second before we get our service started this morning. I want to point something out to you in your bulletin that's really, really important. Something that is coming up is Vacation Bible School. We already have some kids that are registering. We're excited about it. And if everyone will take out their bulletin, go ahead and show it to me. All right, flip it over to the back. Are you there? On the bottom of the back of your bulletin,
[00:02:51] is a QR code. If you want to sign up to help with VBS, that is the quickest and easiest way for you to do that. When you scan that barcode and go to that link, it's going to ask for your email and
[00:03:06] then it's going to ask who's signing up. So that would be you. You're signing up to help. And then you'll go in and there's a drop box with lots of different options for where you might want to help.
[00:03:16] just click on one of those and hit submit. We'll get an email that you want to help out.
[00:03:22] We'll reach out to you. You're signed up at that point and we will let you know of anything that's coming up that you need to be aware of. But we really would like to invite as many people as
[00:03:33] possible to sign up and work VBS. It's one of the biggest outreach events that we do. We always see a lot of kids and it's a great time to share the light of Jesus. And that's our theme this year
[00:03:46] is illumination station. So come out, be a part, even if you can be a small part, we want you to come be a part of that. Thank you. Be praying for those who are working. And if you haven't signed
[00:03:57] up yet, pray about considering signing up, even if you've never done it before. It's a good intro and an easy way to come love on our community and a good way to start sharing the gospel with

[00:04:10] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[00:04:10] the people around you. All right. Thank you. Good morning church. Good morning and happy Mother's Day to you. It's good to be back in the house of the Lord with you this morning. And I just want
[00:04:28] to say, if you have maybe wandered in here, maybe you're with your mother or you're with a family member or even a friend, we just want to take this time to say, whether you have been with us for the
[00:04:40] ages or whether you are with us just today, or maybe you've been with us a couple of times and you're still checking us out, we just want to take this time to say how glad and delighted we are to
[00:04:51] have you here worshiping with us this morning. We know that you are not here by accident. We are, we just want to tell you that you are here because God has you here for a special plan and a purpose.
[00:05:03] And that is to either to begin or to continue to deepen a relationship that he wants to build with you. So we just want to take that time to say how grateful we are to have the chance to do that
[00:05:17] alongside you. And we also would like to build a relationship with you too if we don't already have one yet. And one of the best ways that we know how to do that is to have you fill out a
[00:05:27] connection card. You can find that in the pew in front of you. We hope that you'll take a few minutes to take one of those out and fill that out with your information. And you can place that in
[00:05:38] the offertory plate as it comes along a little bit later on in our service. We also want to let you know that if you have any prayer requests that are heavy on your heart this morning that
[00:05:47] have not yet been heard, you can flip that card over and write your prayer request down on the back and place that in the offertory plate. They do get prayed over during the week at our staff
[00:05:58] meeting, so we hope that you will do that and that you will get prayed over this week if you haven't been already. Church who prays together stays together. So of course, there are always great things happening around here at Southside. So we hope that you'll flip your bulletin over
[00:06:18] and that you'll take a quick look at the back of that so that you don't miss anything coming up.
[00:06:23] And one of those things to know is that this Wednesday night, instead of our regular Wednesday night activities, we are going to be having a worship night right here at 6 p.m. That is going to be the conclusion for our Wednesday night activities for the summer. So we
[00:06:43] hope to see you out for that. It's going to be a great time of worship, and we hope that whether you like to sing or not, we are coming here expectant to be in the Lord's presence together.
[00:06:55] So that is something that we hope to see you out for. Church, as we get into our time of worship, I want to share with you out of the book of Colossians this morning.
[00:07:05] Colossians chapter 1 verse 16 says, For in him all things were created, things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities, all things have been created through him and for him.
[00:07:26] And isn't that so wonderful that we serve a God who is that big?
[00:07:29] Would you stand with us as we worship him together this morning?
[00:07:32] We can shout to the north and the south that he is Lord of heaven and earth.
[00:07:37] Amen.
[00:07:39] Let's worship together.

[00:07:41] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:07:41] I said, my name is Glenn Aaron, and I'm delighted to be one of your deacons here at Southside

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[00:11:48] Baptist Church.
[00:11:50] If you're our guest today and you're looking for a church home, this is a good place.
[00:11:55] If you're looking to see the love of Christ demonstrated, people here will show you that love of Christ.
[00:12:01] And you might say, well, how do you know that?
[00:12:03] It's because I've seen it myself.
[00:12:05] I felt it myself.
[00:12:06] So this is a good place to be today, and we're thankful you're here.
[00:12:10] We have some praise reports.
[00:12:13] Ed Heron is with us.
[00:12:19] Cindy London has come back from the hospital.
[00:12:22] She's at home.
[00:12:23] And my brother's doing fine after his surgery, and thanks for the prayers for him.
[00:12:28] He thanks you for those.
[00:12:29] So let's go to the Lord in prayer.
[00:12:32] Dear Heavenly Father, we thank you for this beautiful day you made for us.
[00:12:35] We thank you for the prayers that we've seen answered.
[00:12:39] Lord, we thank you for our mothers.
[00:12:40] We pray that you would give them strength and wisdom, endurance, and patience.
[00:12:47] Just let your spirit shine in them, and we thank you for them so much.
[00:12:53] Lord, we thank you for the rain that we've seen, but Lord, we pray for more rain.
[00:13:00] You say in your word that you will provide all our needs according to your riches in Jesus Christ.
[00:13:07] And we thank you for that.
[00:13:08] And we look forward to and we thank you now for the rain that will come in your time, in your place.
[00:13:16] We thank these things in Jesus' name. Amen.

[00:13:23] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[00:13:23] Amen. Would you stand with us as we continue to worship the Lord together this morning?

[00:13:27] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:13:27] That the high was lost, but he brought me his love.
[00:14:02] One of the themes of this season that we're in at Southside Baptist Church is God's wisdom

[00:24:44] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_00]
[00:24:44] contrary to the world's advice, that God's wisdom is a firm foundation. Jesus says, whoever builds their life on my words is like a wise man. And we trust God's word to guide us through life. And we even trust the Lord so much to provide for us and to direct our
[00:25:05] lives. And every week we have the opportunity to demonstrate our trust through giving. And so for those of you who are gathered together with us, I encourage you to set aside your tithes, your offerings, your gifts of thanks. Now, for those of you who may be new with us, you're not
[00:25:20] quite sure that you can trust us with your finances. We have a different way for you to respond to the word of the Lord this morning. We would love to start relationship with you.
[00:25:30] We have in your bulletin a couple of ways to connect with us. First of all, you have a connection card in the pew in front of you. You have a QR code on your bulletin and you have a
[00:25:39] number that you could respond to in the bulletin to just let us know how to start and begin with relationship with you. We would love to have a relationship with you for a long time, walking
[00:25:48] together as we walk with Jesus. For those of you online, you have the same opportunity as well to connect with us at www.sbcmoresville.com. That is our website. If you're watching on one of our social media platforms. Go to our website and we'd love for you to connect with us there on the I'm
[00:26:06] new section of that website. You can begin to give us some information so that we can start relationship with you, or you can go to the giving and tithing section where you can participate in
[00:26:16] giving as well. But God has given us so many great things. He has provided for us. He has richly blessed us in Jesus. And now we get to respond to him. So let us go before him in a word
[00:26:27] of prayer. Father God, we are overwhelmed by the goodness and kindness of your mercy to us.
[00:26:34] Lord, we respond to you with our gifts of tithes and offerings today. We ask that you would be pleased by what we offer. We ask that through it, God, you can continue to expand the ministry of
[00:26:46] Southside Baptist Church. And Father, not only our ministry, but those ministries that we invest in, God, that your influence, your word, and your way of life could become more and more obvious through your church. And Father, we pray that your way would shine bright in contrast to the
[00:27:05] advice of this world. For God, the advice of this world is so prevalent and so available.
[00:27:11] But Lord, it is even more important for us, because of that prevalence, to be clearer about your truth. And so, God, we pray that you would use the offering today to expand your ministry here at Southside. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.

[00:27:26] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[00:27:26] In the name of Jesus. Every darkness to break. In the darkness of every enemy. For my fame of Jesus.

[00:30:26] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[00:30:26] All right, our children ages three through third grade are excused to Children's Church this

[00:32:11] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_00]
[00:32:11] morning, where they're going to have an age-appropriate lesson for them. You guys can come to the front, exit out my left, follow Madeline downstairs for Children's Church today.
[00:32:23] For those of you that remain, if you'll turn with me to the book of Proverbs, chapter 31, verses 10 through 31. Proverbs 31, chapters 10 through 31, we're going to talk about God's wisdom for our finances. We're going to talk about the example that we have in Proverbs
[00:32:41] chapter 10 verses, Proverbs chapter 31 verses 10 through 31. If you'll turn there with me now, I'm going to read from the scriptures this morning. I'd love for you to follow along in the Bibles that you have. Beginning in verse 10, it says, an excellent wife who can find.
[00:32:59] She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not harm all the days of her life. She seeks wool and flax and
[00:33:11] works with willing hands. She is like the ships of the merchant. She brings her food from afar.
[00:33:17] She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maintenance.
[00:33:23] She considers a field and buys it. With the fruit of her hands, she plants a vineyard.
[00:33:27] She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong. She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night. She puts her hands to the distaff and her hands hold the spindle. She opens her hands to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.
[00:33:44] She's not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.
[00:33:50] She makes bed coverings for herself. Her clothing is fine linen and purple.
[00:33:55] Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land.
[00:33:59] She makes linen garments and sells them. She delivers sashes to the merchant. Strength and dignity are her clothing and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and
[00:34:14] does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also and he praises her. Many women have done excellently but you surpass them all. Charm is deceitful and
[00:34:27] beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates. Let us pray. Father God, as we come before you,
[00:34:43] we thank you for your wisdom. And Lord, we ask that we would have ears to hear, that we would be slow to take offense, and we would be eager to put into practice what you are revealing to us today.
[00:34:55] and father we thank you for the gift of mothers and we thank you for the influence that they have in our lives but father most of all we thank you that through jesus we can be more mature
[00:35:11] and not only how we live but how we bless and how we grow and who we marry that through jesus all of life can flourish by coming under his wisdom and his instruction. And God, we need that
[00:35:27] so badly today. And so, Lord, we pray that your wisdom would be clear, that it would push back against the advice that we get from our culture, and that, God, you would, by your spirit, give us
[00:35:39] the willingness to walk in the way of your word today. We pray this in Jesus' name. Amen.
[00:35:47] Two weeks ago, Senator Ben Sasse, former Senator Ben Sasse, gave an interview with Scott Pelley on 60 Minutes.
[00:35:54] For those of you that don't know who Ben Sasse is, he was a former Republican senator from Nebraska who left to become the president of the University of Florida.
[00:36:07] While he was at the University of Florida, his wife developed some health issues, and so he resigned from that position to take care of her.
[00:36:13] but as of last December, he was diagnosed with stage four pancreatic cancer and he was given weeks to months to live. And so he sat down for an interview with Scott Pelley to just talk about
[00:36:25] life. And by the way, that whole interview is worth watching to look at somebody who's served in Congress and just to give you their perspective as somebody who is facing the end of life.
[00:36:38] But one clip from that video went around on social media that I thought was so interesting.
[00:36:44] Ben Sasse was lamenting the fact that birth rates around the world were dropping all over.
[00:36:52] And so as he is sitting there, a man who is dying, whose face bears the marks of somebody going through a torturous treatment, the comments to his thoughts on people need to have more kids were predictably brutal.
[00:37:06] if you ever want to kick a hornet's nest online just just type the phrase more people should have more kids and people have thoughts about that a lot of the thoughts are in this economy are you
[00:37:21] crazy some people say yeah but the world is bad enough I don't need to put kids into it and some people will say give the planet to the bees we've outstayed our welcome and so you got to understand
[00:37:34] And when I was in youth group back in the 90s, the just assumption that most people had in the church and most people I would talk to was is that it was the norm for young people to grow up, get married and have kids.
[00:37:51] And in less than 40 years, that is no longer the normal advice.
[00:37:56] The normal advice is that you should pursue a career that makes you happy, have enough money to do what you want, and if you can fit kids in, you should do that.
[00:38:06] And so I got to tell you, folks, that's not God's pattern for a normal and healthy society, a normal, healthy world.
[00:38:16] In the very beginning, God said to be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.
[00:38:22] children are a heritage they are a blessing and quite frankly we need more moms who are godly who are wise okay and so we need to understand that god's word is going to push back on the
[00:38:41] advice of our culture but here's the thing as the church our primary calling is not to complain about what's wrong. Our primary calling is to hold out the good news that God has a better way.
[00:38:59] And so we've been talking about the way of wisdom. And this morning, I really want to focus on how wisdom for our families and our household is so important for our finances. I have been doing
[00:39:13] a sermon series on God's wisdom for our finances. So some of you may have said, what does Proverbs 31 have to do with our finances? Well, here's the thing, everybody, and this is your first note this
[00:39:23] morning. One of the most important financial decisions you will make is who you marry.
[00:39:33] It is who you marry. Marriage is actually very good for our finances. You can find a lot of places, people talk about the benefits of marriage for our financial life, but a lot of that will
[00:39:48] depend on who you marry. I have seen divorces because of some real difficulties around finance. I have seen some people in very serious circumstances because they thought marriage was good for them, but the person they married was not ready for that kind of relationship,
[00:40:10] and things went bad really quickly. And so we want to make a norm for people in our churches, in our communities to pursue marriage and to consider kids. We want that to be normative for everybody, even if that's not going to be the path for everybody. The way I would liken it is
[00:40:32] we need more pastors, we need more missionaries, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's going to be you. And so when I say we need more marriage and we need more kids, that doesn't mean that
[00:40:44] to follow Jesus, that has to be your path. But I do want to hold out to everybody that we need to make it normative again to instruct our young people to really pursue life in marriage and to
[00:40:57] pursue life with kids. Yes, marriage and children are very difficult and crazy expensive and totally worth it and totally worth it. I've had few experiences in my life like marriage and kids that are as difficult as being a husband and a dad. But I have to tell you, it's a transformative
[00:41:24] experience. The person that I am, because I'm a husband and because I'm a father, is better than the me by myself. You guys should thank the Lord that I have a wife and kids. I am dangerous to
[00:41:43] myself and others by myself. And so God did not only you all, but the entire country, possibly the world, a great favor by providing me a wife and kids. And so we want to make that normative
[00:41:57] for people. But as we make that normative again, that pursuing marriage is good and having kids is good, we want to tell people to do it wisely. Wisely. We want you to be set up for success in
[00:42:13] marriage. Failed marriages don't mean that the institution is bad. It means that we need to do a better job of preparing people for it. And if you are a young person here, you need to understand
[00:42:26] one of the most important decisions you are going to make in your life is who you marry.
[00:42:34] Now, I'm saying it that way because I understand that some people are not going to choose marriage or some people want to pursue marriage, but it is not going to happen for them for whatever reason.
[00:42:44] But like I said, I think we need to have the understanding that it is normal and right in good sense to think, I should be marriage material. I think that's absolutely appropriate for everybody. And if that's the case, we want God's wisdom on who we marry. And so verse 10
[00:43:04] says, an excellent wife, who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. And so it's no coincidence that the book of Proverbs ends talking about the godly wife. All throughout the book of Proverbs, we've been introduced to this figure called Lady Wisdom. Somebody texted me, why is
[00:43:25] wisdom personified as a woman? And I thought I had a quick answer, but it turned into hours of research and lots of chasing rabbits because it's a big topic. But I'm going to give you a very
[00:43:36] simple answer to that question, and it's one of a lot more bigger, fuller answer. But one of the primary reasons wisdom is portrayed as a woman is because the assumption of the book of Proverbs is
[00:43:49] that it's written to young men, assuming young men are looking for wives. And Proverbs holds out wisdom as something to be pursued the way a young man should pursue a wife. That's why it's lady
[00:44:05] wisdom. And to make that point clearer, the Proverbs 31 wife ends up having all the qualities of wisdom. So the Proverbs 31 wife is wisdom in human form. If wisdom was actually portrayed as a human, this is what she should look like. And son, that's the kind of woman you should marry.
[00:44:34] But secondly, we need to understand that not only is Proverbs 31 wife the embodiment of wisdom, but the Proverbs 31 wife is also the instructions of a mom to a son. Now, a lot of times when people
[00:44:49] say, hey, I'm preaching about Proverbs 31 for Mother's Day, they would say, are you crazy?
[00:44:57] Women hate that. Women don't want to hear about the Proverbs 31 wife because that's not, it just makes them feel bad because who can live up to that? Well, I want to reframe Proverbs 31
[00:45:13] because nobody should read this passage and think, ugh, we should actually be encouraged and motivated.
[00:45:22] And one of the big reasons why I think we misinterpret Proverbs 31 is because we assume that Proverbs 31 is written for women to act more like the Proverbs 31 wife, when the reality is Proverbs 31 is written for young men to pursue wise women.
[00:45:43] The audience is not women to make them feel bad.
[00:45:45] The audience is men to help them pick suitable mates.
[00:45:50] Not only that, but look at Proverbs 31, verse 1.
[00:45:53] It says it's the words of King Lemuel, an oracle that his mother taught him.
[00:46:00] Proverbs 31 is written from the perspective of a woman.
[00:46:05] This is a mom's advice to her son of what kind of woman he should pursue.
[00:46:13] Not a man's words to his wife of what kind of woman she should be.
[00:46:19] So hopefully that turns down the temperature a little bit.
[00:46:24] And hopefully that just casts again and reinforces this idea that the assumption in the ancient world was that young men would marry women and have kids.
[00:46:37] That God has woven this into the order of creation.
[00:46:41] In fact, not only did he weave that into the order of creation, but he explicitly told us that this is the kinds of things that humans should be doing.
[00:46:49] Look with me in Genesis chapter two.
[00:46:51] Genesis chapter two, there is an order to the story of how God created Adam and Eve.
[00:46:59] And there's an interesting thing about this order that I want you to just look at.
[00:47:02] Genesis 2, verse 15 starts it. I mentioned this last week. The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and keep it. So Adam gets created, and then he gets a job.
[00:47:18] And it's through getting a job that God discovers that it is not good for the man to be alone, that he would find a helper suitable for him. So God creates Eve out of Adam's rib,
[00:47:29] brings him to her and he says this at last is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh and then what's very interesting is we get commentary on this story when you're reading through the biblical stories one of the frustrating things about the stories is the the author doesn't
[00:47:46] tell you how to experience the story how to feel about the story but the author in genesis which we believe is moses actually tells you what he wants you to do with this story about adam getting
[00:47:58] a job and then meeting Eve. It says in verse 24 of chapter two, therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and they shall become one flesh. And the man and
[00:48:14] his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Now, the reason I want to mention this to you is this is the normative assumption of the book of Proverbs. This is the normative assumption of the
[00:48:24] advice on finding a godly spouse is that it follows a pattern. Adam gets a job. Adam meets a woman. And then we are told that a man is supposed to leave his father and mother, cleave
[00:48:40] to his wife. Then the two become one flesh and they are naked and unashamed. Okay. Here's what God holds out to us as the way of wisdom for all of our romantic relationships. Number one,
[00:48:56] you should be working. You should be doing something with your life. Number two, you should meet someone and forsake other relationships, even the primary relationship of mom and dad. You should enter into a covenant relationship with them. And in that covenant
[00:49:18] relationship, that is where you have sexual intimacy. And as you have sexual intimacy in that covenant relationship, you grow to love and respect each other's full selves, okay?
[00:49:32] That is exactly the opposite of what we see on TV. On TV, we see people have too many drinks one night, they wind up in bed the next morning, then they discuss, well, are we boyfriend and girlfriend
[00:49:44] now. Maybe a baby comes into that situation. And then later down the road, they'll figure out if they want to get married. That is not God's pattern for us. And part of the reason why that's
[00:49:54] not God's pattern for us is because marriage is supposed to teach us about relationship to Jesus.
[00:50:01] Just as a man should leave his father and his mother, cleave to his wife, and the two become one flesh, so in the church we are to repent of our former lives, of Father Adam and Mommy Eve,
[00:50:14] we're supposed to repent of the way of life in that. We're supposed to put our faith and covenantal trust in Jesus. The Bible says that we enter into a wedding kind of relationship with Jesus. And it is in that wedding relationship with Jesus that we get the forever benefits of
[00:50:30] relationship. In the Bible, God does not want us taking the benefits of relationship without the commitment of relationship. And many of you bear the scars of people who wanted your benefits but did not want commitment. God does not want that from us. So if you are a young person considering
[00:50:50] how to do life, I beg you to seek God's wisdom. Tell the person you are dating that it is worth waiting till marriage. Tell the person that you are interested in having a date with that you want
[00:51:07] a married life because the blessings that come from a married committed relationship are worth the wait. Please do that. That's what Lemuel's mom wanted from him. That is what me, I as your pastor went from you. And that is what God wants from us. If you are pursuing a relationship with
[00:51:33] somebody. I encourage you to pursue God's process. And not only that, but it's interesting, the Institute for Family Studies has a very similar process. They have published a report and it's called the success sequence. What they found is that people in their 20s, regardless of their
[00:51:59] financial background, regardless of their race, regardless of the circumstances, whatever, that there is a 97% guarantee that they will not be in poverty by the time they are in their 30s if they follow this sequence. Now, for those of you that are older, you're going to say,
[00:52:22] duh. For those of you that may be younger, you'll be like, wow, I wish somebody would have told me this sooner. But here's the sequence. Let me see if it sounds familiar to you. They say that you
[00:52:32] should first get at least a high school diploma, get a full-time job, and the most critical ingredient is get married before having kids. Again, those of us who are older, we're like, duh. But you got to understand that is not duh anymore. That is radical, culture-fighting
[00:52:55] wisdom. God wants us, and God has woven into the fabric of our world the blessings that come when we work, when we commit, and then when we get the benefits of intimate relationship with others. So I want to hold that out to everybody, that that is what God wants from all of you,
[00:53:17] And it is in that context that God wants children.
[00:53:23] Now, that being said, let us actually talk about the Proverbs 31 wife.
[00:53:28] Now that we know an excellent wife who can find, this is a big deal.
[00:53:32] We need to give serious attention because it doesn't just affect her life, but it affects her finances.
[00:53:37] But you need to know this morning that the Proverbs 31 woman, this is your notes, does not exist.
[00:53:46] Proverbs 31 woman does not exist, but Proverbs 31 virtues do.
[00:53:53] So not only should we be relieved because it's not some guy telling his wife what she needs to change, but the passage is a literary device of virtues on display more than it is a standard that we have to keep.
[00:54:12] you can imitate virtues but you cannot keep this standard i mean some of you got to the verse that says she rises early in the morning and you said not for me not me so so i want to tell you if you're reading through this passage
[00:54:32] and you're like i can't keep that standard you're you're not meant to right just as wisdom the character of wisdom is a literary creation to personify the characteristics of wisdom.
[00:54:49] So the Proverbs 31 wife is a literary creation to demonstrate the virtues of a good wife.
[00:54:59] And so it's not a standard to keep, but they are examples to imitate. And this is where I think the difference comes. There are some old videos of Jim Carrey online where Jim Carrey is doing
[00:55:13] impressions. He's imitating other celebrities. And young Jim Carrey is fascinating because he can morph his face into the likeness of other people, like Jack Nicholson and people like that.
[00:55:28] And when you watch that video, you're impressed by the likeness, not disappointed by the difference.
[00:55:35] And so when we come to the book of Proverbs 31, we're supposed to be impressed by the likeness and not disappointed by the difference. If you're reading through this list and think, well, I could never do that, you're misunderstanding. If you read through this
[00:55:57] list and say, you know, that's sometimes me. I sometimes do that. Or if you're in a marriage relationship, you know, you should find the ways that your spouse exhibits these characteristics and you should say, good job. Be impressed with the likeness, but don't beat up on people for
[00:56:21] the difference, right? So in the church, we need to hold out these virtues, these character traits as things that we want to see developed.
[00:56:35] But also, if you're a parent and you have kids in your life or you're a grandparent and they want to consider serious relationships, you want to hold out to them the kinds of things they want in a partner.
[00:56:49] And so these are things that are virtues that we can grow in and we can imitate.
[00:56:54] So the Proverbs 31 woman does not exist, but Proverbs 31 virtues do.
[00:57:01] And I've identified at least seven virtues, and we're not going to go through them because one of the gifts I would love to give you, moms, is lunch today.
[00:57:10] And so I will briefly touch on them.
[00:57:14] So trustworthy is one virtue in verse 11.
[00:57:18] Look with me at Proverbs 31, verse 11.
[00:57:21] It talks about how the heart of the husband completely trusts his wife.
[00:57:28] she is industrious in verses 15 and 16 she spends her time carefully doing work that will increase the money for the family even so much so as to consider a field and buying it i think it's really
[00:57:44] funny how the verse says she considers the field and there's nothing about asking her husband she just buys it. That's great. So the Proverbs 31 wife in this passage is trustworthy and she's industrious. She can take advantage of offers as they come and good things to advance the family
[00:58:06] standing. Verse 20 tells us that she is generous to the poor. Verse 21 tells us that she is courageous. Verse 25 mentions that she is strong, not just strong physically, but also she can handle adversity. She's not afraid of snow for her household. Her kids are clothed, and she laughs at
[00:58:30] the years to come, that she can face adversity as a strong person without getting discouraged.
[00:58:37] She is wise. Verse 26 talks about how she instructs the people in her household. I imagine that includes the husband from time to time.
[00:58:48] And verse 28 tells us that her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her so that she is really a blessing.
[00:59:02] Okay, so these are things that we can do.
[00:59:08] And if we don't do all of them perfectly, hopefully we're doing some of them better.
[00:59:14] And brothers and sisters, I want to tell you that when you see these qualities in any person, you should call them out.
[00:59:25] You should name them because it's God's work in them.
[00:59:31] We need to spend more time naming what is going right than pointing out what's wrong.
[00:59:38] We are far more likely to repeat what is praised than we are to stop what is discouraged.
[00:59:45] And so, brothers and sisters, I want to hold out to you this morning.
[00:59:47] If you're looking for a way to bless mom, go through this list and say, you know, mom, that reminded me of you.
[00:59:54] I remember when you did that kind of stuff for us.
[00:59:58] And I am so grateful you did.
[01:00:01] Okay?
[01:00:02] And so here's the last note for the morning.
[01:00:05] Given that we have this list, given that God has given us language of things we can call out and bless, But the final point of this poem is the real point the mom wants to make for her son.
[01:00:18] And it says, chemistry is overrated, but godliness should be blessed.
[01:00:25] Let me explain what I mean by that.
[01:00:27] Well, if you look at the final passages of Proverbs, beginning in verse 30, it says, charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
[01:00:41] Now, guys, let me tell you something.
[01:00:44] One of the most foolish things you could say to any kind of woman that I know of is, I don't care if you're not attractive.
[01:00:55] I love that you love Jesus.
[01:00:59] Ladies, if there is some man in your house who says that to you, you have my permission to prepare a place on the couch for him.
[01:01:11] That is not the point of this passage.
[01:01:17] Baby, I don't care that you're not hot.
[01:01:20] I love that you love Jesus. No, do not do that. It's not what it's saying. What the passage is saying is that the things that are normally attractive, we overemphasize to the detriment of the things that are more important, right? Beauty is wonderful. Charm is wonderful,
[01:01:45] but it's not as important as character. And some of you parents, you know what it's like when a young man or young woman meets a person that they just are smitten by because they're beauty and attractive, and you have some concerns about their character, right? You know what that's
[01:02:04] like. You might as well be talking to a brick wall by saying, now, listen, I know you like them, but are they a good person? Do they love Jesus? And you know what it's like. I mean,
[01:02:17] guys, when we, when we fall for somebody, we just turn off our brains and we just go forward.
[01:02:25] But the Bible wants us to know that charm and attractiveness aren't as important as character.
[01:02:38] It's not that they're not important, but we give them too much importance. Okay. Charm is that instant connection you have. I, I, I'm surprised how many couples will come for premarital counseling I say, well, why do you guys want to get married?
[01:02:52] Well, you know, we're just best friends.
[01:02:55] We never fight.
[01:02:57] Everything is good.
[01:02:58] You know, one of my goals, if you come to me for premarital counseling, is to give you stuff to fight about.
[01:03:04] Because I need to see what you do when there's conflict.
[01:03:08] And if it's your best friend and you never fight, you're charmed with each other, but I don't really know what your character is.
[01:03:18] And so we tend to like vibes, as the kids say.
[01:03:22] We tend to like chemistry.
[01:03:26] But God wants us to focus on character.
[01:03:31] The kinds of stuff of the Proverbs 31 wife.
[01:03:34] So even though I'm saying the Proverbs 31 wife does not exist, what we want for people is to find people who have the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 wife.
[01:03:47] even imperfectly, even if they're working on it. Because I guarantee chemistry is so powerful, attraction is so powerful, but character matters so much more. So brothers and sisters, this is what God wants us to do because that is the case. When we see character, when we see godliness on
[01:04:13] display, we need to bless it. We need to call it out and bless it. That's what the passage tells us to do. Verse 31, give her of the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates.
[01:04:31] If we find somebody who fears the Lord, if you have been blessed with a godly mom, If you are blessed with a godly wife, you are obligated to call that out and bless it.
[01:04:47] Name it. Celebrate it.
[01:04:50] This is what God wants us to do.
[01:04:54] And brothers and sisters, I will tell you that the young people around you are watching what you bless.
[01:05:00] If you are blessing looks, and you are blessing charisma, and you are a blessing attractiveness, that is what they're going to think we celebrate.
[01:05:13] But if we bless character, if we bless maturity, if we bless the qualities of wisdom, the people around us are going to think that's what we really care about.
[01:05:29] Brothers, if we say nothing, the world will speak for us and tell us that chemistry is far more important.
[01:05:36] And so as a church, we are obligated to bless godliness.
[01:05:44] Do it in your home.
[01:05:46] Dads, let your kids catch you blessing your wife.
[01:05:52] Older kids, bless your moms.
[01:05:56] Tell her about all the ways that you see God working in her life.
[01:06:03] Younger kids, just tell your mom, thank you.
[01:06:06] You're so glad that she is your mom.
[01:06:09] Because the language of blessing is a language to reclaim for the Lord what the culture wants us to give up.
[01:06:20] And so, brothers and sisters, today for Mother's Day, God wants us to bless the godliness we see in moms.
[01:06:31] And by the way, not just moms, but Paul tells us in Romans 16, verse 3.
[01:06:41] Romans 16.3, Paul actually commends people in the church.
[01:06:46] Look with me at that passage because it's such a great passage.
[01:06:50] Some of you are like, well, I'm marked safe from the sermon today because I'm not a mom.
[01:06:54] Well, hold on.
[01:06:55] This one's for you.
[01:06:57] Romans 16, verse 13, it says this.
[01:07:01] Greet Rufus, chosen in the Lord, also his mother, who has been a mother to me as well.
[01:07:13] Some of us, we need to bless spiritual moms.
[01:07:18] If there is somebody who has been a blessing to your life and she is not your biological relationship, she can be a mom to you in the spiritual life and you need to call that out and bless it too.
[01:07:33] Some of us have had godly counsels from some very godly women.
[01:07:37] Some of us have gotten mommed from spiritual mothers because we found lacking in our biological moms things that God wanted for us. And where you see it, bless it. Bless it. Now, and for some of you,
[01:07:53] I know there's a number of disappointments here. Mother's Day is really hard because on the one hand, we need more moms. But on the other hand, we understand that there are people who want to
[01:08:04] be moms, that that's not where they're at right now. Okay. And I want to encourage you, if that's you. If God, if your desire is to be a mom, be a spiritual mother in the church, you can still
[01:08:19] invest in future generations. The Bible actually tells us that there is a real blessing there that is better than sons and daughters. That if we would invest spiritually in the next generation, we can have those relationships with us forever. And so please lean into that, but also share your
[01:08:42] sorrow. Don't be afraid to share your disappointment. Your tears echo the goodness of being a mom.
[01:08:54] The very fact that it bothers you that that's not for you, that's actually good for the church to know because it tells us we still care about this even when it's not happening for the people we
[01:09:04] want it to happen to. And so your tears are welcome, but also your blessing. We need your blessing too, to be a blessing to children in the church, not just children by age, but children of
[01:09:21] spiritual maturity. And so I think the good news of Proverbs 31 is God's will for us is to pursue marriage, to be fruitful, to multiply in healthy marriages. Proverbs 31 woman does not exist, but Proverbs 31 virtues do. And we need to pursue those virtues, whether we're a mom,
[01:09:44] whether we're a dad, whether we're married, whether we're unmarried, those things need to be true about our lives. I cannot say, well, my wife is generous to the poor, so I can be mean to them. No, that should be true for all of us. But I think the biggest goal of Proverbs 31,
[01:10:01] as God's people, we need to be agents of blessing for godliness. We need to reclaim with God's blessing, what is strange to the world, what the world is hostile to, so that we can see
[01:10:17] God's wisdom flourish in God's church. And so if that's you this morning, I'm going to encourage you, if you need to come this morning and pray, you come forward and pray. But what I would love
[01:10:31] to see as the response to the sermon this morning is for you to find somebody to bless. Before you leave this place, if there is a person who is your mom or has mommed you in the church,
[01:10:45] you bless them. You tell them how, when you were reading this passage, you thought about them.
[01:10:51] And make sure they have God's blessing on their lives and make sure they understand how you've received God's blessing because of them. And so as Miss Emily plays today, we're going to have our opportunity to respond. You come forward in faith to pray
[01:11:05] or you leave ready to bless in jesus name all right let's do that i'm gonna play for a moment

[01:11:24] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_06]
[01:11:24] pastor david said if you need to use this time to quietly reflect in your seats then you feel free to go ahead and do that over the next couple minutes but if you need to be up here at the altar
[01:11:38] it is open whatever the case we're just going to spend the next time in reflection acknowledging the lord's prayer and maybe even his voice in the next couple minutes

[01:11:51] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_07]
[01:11:51] Father God, as we come to your work, Lord, and as we are reminded over and over again,

[01:15:55] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_00]
[01:15:55] how different your wisdom is from what we see around us.
[01:16:01] God, we can get discouraged.
[01:16:05] God, we can get discouraged that things are different than what they used to be.
[01:16:09] Or God, we can get discouraged that what we see in your word is not more true in our lives.
[01:16:16] Father, I pray that you would give us the grace to be amazed at any time we see the truth of your word showing up in our lives.
[01:16:27] Father, when we see our lives conform to your wisdom, it is nothing short of a miracle.
[01:16:36] And God, we have not been faithful in naming the miracle we see.
[01:16:45] We're not faithful in naming it in our own lives.
[01:16:49] And God, we are not faithful in naming it in others.
[01:16:52] and so father we are so grateful that through jesus through his death on the cross his resurrected life that we are new creations we're being formed and fashioned into wise people who can have wise
[01:17:11] relationships and god because of that it is so important for us to bless where we see salvation at work in others around us. So God, give us the words to bless moms today, to those who have
[01:17:29] raised us up in the faith. Allow us to bless in Jesus' name. And as your pastor, I want to thank all of you who serve at Southside Baptist Church. Lives have been changed forever because of the
[01:17:50] work that you have done for the bride of Christ. And one of the ways I want to encourage you to continue to do good work is we have a partnership with the pregnancy center, with the Mooresville
[01:18:00] Pregnancy Center. They have these baby bottles that are available. And what they would love to do is for you to fill up these baby bottles so they can continue to do ministry for women who
[01:18:11] are in crisis situations. And so if you will grab one, fill it up, take your time to bring it back on Father's Day so we can present this generous gift to them. They're a wonderful ministry,
[01:18:23] very responsible, and it's worth supporting. So I want to encourage you to support our Mooresville Pregnancy Center with the baby bottles today. In honor of mom, be a blessing to other moms today.
[01:18:38] All right, with that, will you lift your heads, your hands, and hearts to receive the Lord's blessing as we go? May the wisdom of our Lord fill you this week as you walk in his way
[01:18:48] through the Holy Spirit to the praise and honor of Jesus Christ.
[01:18:54] Amen. You are dismissed.