The Greater Joy: Cultivating Self-Control Through Christ

• The Cultural Return of Young Men to Church [00:40:37 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor observes that young men, particularly Gen Z, are returning to church in search of transcendence and structure, moving away from postmodern culture and emotional worship toward historic traditions and biblical answers.
• The Imperative of Self-Control for Young Men [00:43:13 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor highlights that while other demographics receive multiple instructions in Titus 2, young men are given only one: to be self-controlled, emphasizing this as an urgent, singular imperative.
• Theological Definition of Self-Control (Sophronio) [00:49:30 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor defines self-control not merely as behavioral restraint but as 'self-control of the mind,' arguing that controlling one's thoughts is the 'ground floor of sanctification' and the baseline marker of a Christian.
• The Role of Fathers in Discipleship [00:47:39 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor illustrates the power of parental correction through a personal anecdote, asserting that fathers must speak truth to their children to help them transition from childish behavior to manhood.
• Self-Control in Thinking (Sophronio) [00:51:23 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor defines self-control as controlling what you think about, citing Titus 2, Romans 12:3, and 1 Peter 4:7, and explains that the mind is the conduit to the heart.
• The Unbelieving Mind [00:54:50 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that unbelievers cannot exercise this spiritual self-control because their minds are hardened, darkened, and blinded by Satan, citing 1 Timothy 6:5, 2 Corinthians 3:14, and Ephesians 4:18.
• Self-Control of Affections (Kratia) [00:56:23 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor distinguishes a second type of self-control regarding the affections and desires, linking it to the fruit of the spirit and the ability to win the battle against sinful flesh, citing Romans 7:18.
• The Danger of Lacking Self-Control [01:00:33 ▶️ 📄]
  > Using Proverbs 25:28, the pastor illustrates that a man without self-control is like a city without walls, leading to ruin, supported by examples of Shaquille O'Neal and King David.
• Joseph as a Model of Self-Control [01:04:11 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor uses the story of Joseph resisting Potiphar's wife to demonstrate how young men can exercise self-control by fleeing temptation and fighting the battle in their minds.
• The Necessity of Regeneration [01:08:51 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor concludes that the secret to self-control is being born again, asserting that self-control is a result of the gospel, not a prerequisite for it, and correcting the error of trying to achieve it through human strength.
• Regeneration and Gospel Imperative [01:08:51 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that self-control is impossible without first being born again; one must repent and trust in Christ before the Holy Spirit can enable self-control, correcting the error of trying to earn salvation through behavioral modification.
• The Isthmian Games and Athletic Discipline [01:13:26 ▶️ 📄]
  > Using 1 Corinthians 9, the pastor explains the historical context of the Isthmian Games in Corinth, where athletes exercised strict self-control for a perishable wreath, contrasting this with believers exercising self-control for an imperishable crown.
• The Reward of Knowing Christ [01:20:10 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor posits that the motivation for self-control is the surpassing worth of knowing Christ, citing Philippians 3 and 1, arguing that sin is chosen because we fail to see Christ as more valuable than the temporary pleasure of sin.
• Joy and Fellowship with God [01:22:56 ▶️ 📄]
  > Referencing John 15, the pastor connects keeping commandments to abiding in God's love and joy, suggesting that the desire for this fellowship provides the 'ammo' to defeat sin and exercise self-control.
• Desire and Joy [01:26:40 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor argues that Christian desires are not excessive but insufficient compared to the infinite joy offered by God, contrasting worldly pursuits with heavenly reward.
• Self-Control [01:27:28 ▶️ 📄]
  > Self-control is presented not as a burden but as a response to the 'joy set before us,' empowered by the Holy Spirit to endure challenges.
• Gospel Foundation [01:29:00 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor concludes that the capacity for self-control begins with trusting in Christ and the gospel, urging immediate faith for those feeling defeated.

• Sermon Illustration [00:45:45 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor recounts a personal story from sixth grade where he and other boys fought in a dark bathroom at church school. His teacher called his father, who confronted him on his bed, telling him it was time to 'put aside childish things' and 'step into being a man.' This moment served as a defining line in the sand that led the pastor to adopt self-control.
• Sermon Illustration [00:54:22 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor uses the analogy of a glass to explain how to remove bad thoughts: you cannot simply empty the glass of air (bad thoughts); you must fill it with water (good thoughts from Philippians 4:8) to displace the air.
• Sermon Illustration [01:02:14 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor references Shaquille O'Neal, who built a 72,000 square foot house and had great success, but due to a lack of self-control (adultery), he lost his family and woke up alone in the massive house.
• Sermon Illustration [01:03:01 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor recounts the biblical story of King David, who failed to exercise self-control on a rooftop with Bathsheba, leading to the decline of his kingdom and Absalom taking control.
• Sermon Illustration [01:04:11 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor tells the story of Joseph, who, at age 18-20, resisted the repeated sexual advances of Potiphar's wife by fleeing, demonstrating self-control by asking, 'How can I do this great wickedness and sin against God?'
• Sermon Illustration [01:14:44 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor recounts the historical practice of the Isthmian Games in Corinth, where athletes had to renounce sex, alcohol, and follow strict diets for ten months to compete for a perishable wreath, using this as an analogy for Christian discipline.
• Sermon Illustration [01:19:06 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor shares a personal anecdote about Marine instructors making recruits punch themselves in the face to discipline their bodies, illustrating the concept of 'giving myself a black eye' to avoid disqualification.
• Sermon Illustration [01:25:03 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor tells a story about John Piper purchasing C.S. Lewis's 'The Weight of Glory' at Vroman's Bookstore in Pasadena, which he then quoted to argue that Christian self-denial is not an end in itself but a means to pursue the infinite joy of God.
• Sermon Illustration [01:26:53 ▶️ 📄]
  > An analogy comparing Christians to an ignorant child making mud pies in a slum who cannot imagine a holiday at the sea, illustrating how we settle for lesser pleasures when infinite joy is offered.

• Pastoral Charge [00:48:03 ▶️ 📄]
  > Parents are urged to engage in loving and truthful confrontations with their children to guide them toward maturity and self-control.
• Pastoral Charge [00:52:15 ▶️ 📄]
  > The congregation is commanded to exercise self-control in their thinking in light of Jesus' return.
• Pastoral Charge [01:09:51 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor calls unbelievers and struggling believers to repent of their sins, confess their failure to exercise self-control, and surrender to Christ for forgiveness and enablement.
• Pastoral Charge [01:28:20 ▶️ 📄]
  > The pastor leads the congregation in a prayer to set their minds on heavenly things, avoid scandalous sin, and exercise self-control for the joy of Christ.
• Pastoral Charge [01:29:00 ▶️ 📄]
  > Trust in Christ for salvation immediately without delay.
• Pastoral Charge [01:29:00 ▶️ 📄]
  > Return to the beginning of the gospel to regain the capacity for self-control.

[00:05:02] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[00:05:02] Happy Father's Day to the fathers out there. I do want to say something briefly. Next Sunday night, it's called a night of praise. And I know it's probably not something that we have a history of doing, but the whole purpose of the evening is to gather around and sing to one another, proclaim God's word, and pray. And it is a concert. It's very much like a Christmas concert would be. So I just want to remind you that it's a very
[00:05:33] evening in the life of our church. Please invite your friends, people that you may meet. And to sweeten the deal, everyone has decided that we're going to have North Carolina State Creamery Ice Cream afterwards. So if you don't like music but you love ice cream, you have to come and you have
[00:05:53] to join with us. That's next Sunday night at 6 p.m. It'll be a wonderful evening and hopefully hopefully a tradition that goes on for us. It's kind of the end of the year for the music department
[00:06:05] as they're going to take six Sundays off. But the rest of you do too, so it's okay. No one will notice. But I decided I should not work them through the entire summer. I should give them
[00:06:20] a little break so they can rest their vocal cords. During the next two Sundays, I want us to read aloud to one another Psalm 145. Psalm 145 is an amazing psalm that reminds us of who God is. So
[00:06:39] I will read the normal font and I would ask you to read the bold font, but let's stand together as we read Psalm 145, verses 1 through 9.
[00:06:55] I will exalt you, my God, O King, and I will bless your name forever and ever together.
[00:07:04] Every day I will bless you, and I will praise your name forever and ever.
[00:07:12] Great is Yahweh, and highly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable. One generation, on the glorious splendor of your majesty and on the words of your wondrous deeds, I will muse. Men, they shall pour forth the memory
[00:07:47] of your abundant goodness and will shout joyfully of your righteousness. Yahweh is good to all and his compassions are over all his works let's pray Yahweh you are good to all and you have laid
[00:08:23] up your goodness for those who fear you your goodness is abounding immense exhaustive complete and everlasting may the experiences and circumstances of life never overwhelm us so that we forget this wonderful promise, this eternal reality,
[00:08:50] this amazing truth that you are good to all.
[00:08:55] Even this day, remind us, O Lord, and stir within our hearts the memory of your goodness that has sustained us and promises to guide us for all the days of our lives in your blessed care.
[00:09:12] And we ask this in our Savior's name.
[00:09:15] Amen. Well, let's sing of our Lord. If you would, turn to number 32 in your hymnal.
[00:09:21] Number 32, come, Christians, join to sing. Lift your voices now.

[00:09:41] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_05]
[00:09:41] Good morning to the King's Chapel. Good morning, good morning, and happy Father's Day to the

[00:13:03] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_00]
[00:13:03] fathers here this morning. We're so glad that you're here with us today, and we're just wonderful to see you fellowshipping and enjoying one another's presence today. We're so glad that you're here. If you're a guest with us this morning, we want to offer you a special welcome.
[00:13:18] I've met a couple of guests already this morning, so we're thrilled that you've chosen to worship with us today. But if you are a guest, or if it's been a while since you've been here,
[00:13:28] I would ask that you take your Connect card. It's right in the pew in front of you.
[00:13:32] If you would take that and fill that out for us, place it in the offering plate when it comes by.
[00:13:37] We would love to have a record of your visit. And if you have a question or if you have a prayer request. You can write that on the back of the card, and it would be our honor and privilege
[00:13:47] to pray for you this week as we go through the coming week, but we're glad that you're here.
[00:13:53] And speaking of the coming week, there are a lot of fun things happening in your bulletin or several announcements, but I do want to highlight a few of those for you this morning. Of course,
[00:14:02] Phil has mentioned already the concert of praise that we'll be doing next Sunday evening, so make your plans to be here for that but also if you are interested in singing with that if you're
[00:14:14] possibly a singer and just want to participate in that phil and the choir would love to have you participate with them there are two requirements you need to show up for this thursday's choir practice at seven and then there will be a dress rehearsal on saturday morning
[00:14:30] around 10 o'clock so if you're interested in that please join with them also our children will be rehearsing that. So parents, if you have children in the children's choir, they will be rehearsing on Saturday morning as well at 10 o'clock. But mostly just want you to be aware as you see our
[00:14:49] decorations here at the front. Guests were not always decorated this way, but if you see those around the building, this is the week, a very exciting week of Vacation Bible School. Begins in the morning, so please be in prayer for that. We have a lot of volunteers that will be here
[00:15:06] and we are looking forward to having the kids come this week and it's just a great time for the children to come in to be part of a special week of Bible study that emphasizes just emphasis
[00:15:20] just for them as they participate in Vacation Bible School this week and also if your children might be interested in baptism there will be a baptism class for them coming up next Sunday morning at nine o'clock and during the nine o'clock hour that we'll meet down in the K
[00:15:36] assembly room. That's the big room behind the children's check-in desk. So if your child has asked you about baptism, this may be a great opportunity for you to meet with Pastor Kenny and let him explain what baptism truly is about. And if you're a young adult, there will be a
[00:15:53] cookout for you this Friday evening at 630 here at the church. So participate with that and you can sign up for those things as we go through this week. But please be in prayer for our time
[00:16:06] of Vacation Bible School this week. And in your bulletin, you will also see our handout. There's a little insert in there on the questions of the Heidelberg Catechism. You know, we are going through this each Sunday morning. This is a document, basically, that describes our Christian
[00:16:27] faith and helps us understand the beliefs of our Christian faith. And so there are two questions this morning, and so I will read the question and then together we will all read the answers together. So if you will pull that out or look at the screens this morning. Question 65 says,
[00:16:46] it is through faith alone that we share in Christ and all his benefits. Where then does that faith come from? The Holy Spirit produces it in our hearts by the preaching of the Holy Gospel
[00:17:02] and confirms it by the use of the holy sacraments. What are sacraments? Sacraments are visible holy signs and seals. They are instituted by God so that by our use of them he might make us
[00:17:21] understand more clearly the promise of the gospel and the seal of that promise. And this is God's gospel promise to grant us forgiveness of sins and eternal life by grace because of Christ's one sacrifice accomplished on the cross. Thank you. And now we've come to the point in our service
[00:17:47] for our tithes and our offerings to be collected. And so as our ushers come forward, would you pray with me this morning as we collect those offerings? Our Father in heaven, Lord, you have made yourself known to us through Jesus Christ, and you have invited us to pray to you as our
[00:18:06] Father. And so we come before you today, we're humbled and we're in awe of your grace and your mercy and your love for us. And Lord, we thank you for the way that you have designed what a family
[00:18:18] is supposed to look like and the specific roles that you have ordained for how a father is to lead their children. And yet through our sinful ways, we've taken what you have made holy and
[00:18:28] we've created our own version of today's families. And so we ask that forgiveness for that. And today, Lord, we pray specifically for the fathers in our church and in our city. Lord, your word clearly
[00:18:40] instructs fathers to bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. And so God, we thank you for the men who are leading their families according to your statutes and the ones that are committed to your purposes. Please guard our hearts, guard our minds in Jesus Christ.
[00:18:57] And we pray for strength and protection and wisdom and discernment for all the dads that are here today to help us through whatever trials we may be facing. And we ask for your Holy Spirit to fill
[00:19:09] us. We ask that you would help us to always stand strong, to be men of faith, and we ask that you would fill our hearts with love and compassion and joy and faithfulness and cover our lives with
[00:19:21] great peace. Father, we also pray for our upcoming week of Vacation Bible School, for the children that will attend and hear the gospel, possibly for the very first time. And Lord, we pray for the teachers and the workers that will minister to the children this week. And Lord, we thank you
[00:19:39] again for the gift of dads in this life. And we thank you that you are the greatest father, our Abba father. And we thank you, Lord, for loving us with a never-ending father's love for
[00:19:52] his children. And Lord, we ask all these things in the precious and holy name of Christ. Amen.

[00:19:58] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_03]
[00:19:58] A paraphrase of Psalm 16, which reminds us of the hope we have in Psalm 23.

[00:24:36] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[00:24:36] Surely goodness, surely mercy.
[00:24:39] Let's stand together as we sing.

[00:25:10] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_05]
[00:25:10] I was told this morning that when I came up here I would have animals floating above my head, and I do.

[00:29:00] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:29:00] And I think it's a joy to look forward to what the kids are going to be learning this week.
[00:29:07] So let's be praying for them and be praying for the teachers, the workers, Ms. Tilly, and most importantly, that God would open up the eyes of these children that they might see Jesus and see his work for them and come to faith in Christ.
[00:29:27] So let's be praying towards that end.
[00:29:30] Now, I invite you to grab a Bible and turn.
[00:29:34] I'm going to throw you an audible to 1 Corinthians chapter 9. I saw some of you had already opened up to Titus 2. You got ahead of me. 1 Corinthians chapter 9, and I'm going to read the last four
[00:29:51] verses, 24 to 27. Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize. So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things.
[00:30:16] They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly.
[00:30:24] I do not box as one beating the air, but I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified. This is God's holy, inspired, and inerrant word. You may be seated. Let's bow our heads in prayer. Heavenly Father,
[00:30:57] you know our hearts. You know that we do not want to run aimlessly. We do not want to box as though beating the air. Lord, we want our life to count. We desire to finish the race,
[00:31:15] the course that you have set out before us. We desire to fight the fight of faith, to believe to the end that we would not relinquish our faith, that we would exercise self-control in all things in order that we may obtain the prize. Lord, may we see you as more worthy
[00:31:41] than all the things of this world. Lord, may we see you as more valuable than the sin that so easily entangles us. Lord, we know that when we sin, we can confess our sin and you forgive us of
[00:31:59] our sin. So, Lord, we confess our sin now. Lord, we know that we are imperfect, fallen creatures, even those of us who are in Christ, that we need your righteousness and your blood every single
[00:32:14] day. And Lord, we confess knowing that you forgive us of our sin, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, you enable us to live the Christian life, putting the deeds of the flesh to death,
[00:32:27] putting on Christ, increasing our faith, growing in love, both towards God and to our fellow man.
[00:32:37] Thank you, Lord, for this work of sanctification you are doing in our hearts. Sanctify us in the truth, Lord. Your word is truth. We pray that you would continue to sanctify us. Lord, may we see
[00:32:53] your glory. May we see your beauty, your wonder. And in so seeing, may we be motivated and inspired to obedience. Lord, we thank you for the fathers that are here this morning.
[00:33:11] We thank you, Lord, for the fathers that maybe are not here with us this morning.
[00:33:17] What a gift it is to be a father, to raise children. And we pray, Lord, that the fathers here would raise their children to know and to fear the Lord, that you would give them wisdom
[00:33:29] and insight in how to lead their families well. Lord, we know that conversion is a gift of God.
[00:33:38] It's not of work. So, Lord, we pray for the children and the families in our church, that they would be converted, they would come to know Christ. But, Lord, may the fathers here and the mothers alongside them
[00:33:50] be tools in the Redeemer's hand, that they would be your instruments to lead the children to faith in Christ.
[00:34:00] Use us, Lord, in the lives of our children, for we are your children.
[00:34:06] We look to you, the author and perfecter of our faith.
[00:34:11] We give you all the glory this morning.
[00:34:14] May we worship you, Lord, now in spirit and in truth.
[00:34:17] For Christ's sake, amen.

[00:34:22] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_02]
[00:34:22] If you would take your hymnal and turn to number 454.
[00:34:28] 454 is an old gospel song.
[00:34:30] My faith has found a resting place.
[00:34:33] And if you have been raised in a Baptist church in the South, you've probably sung this many times.
[00:34:38] So the words in the melody are the same the way we are going to sing it, but it's going to be much slower.
[00:34:45] And perhaps that will give you a chance to think about the words in a manner that maybe you haven't before.

[00:34:51] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_05]
[00:34:51] but let's stand together as we sing. I want you to open your Bibles to Titus 2, and while you're

[00:40:09] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[00:40:09] turning there, let's go to the throne of grace in prayer. Heavenly Father, may this book live.
[00:40:18] May you do your sanctifying work in our hearts, and I pray, Lord, that you would speak through me now in the power of your Holy Spirit. In Christ's name, amen. Our culture, with all of its
[00:40:37] postmodern accoutrements has left young men behind. With its emphasis on feminism, young men, especially in Gen Z, are the forgotten people. But something interesting has happened with young men in our culture, something that we haven't seen in our nation as long as any of us
[00:41:05] have been alive, and that is that young men have started coming to church, statistically more than young women. Isn't that remarkable? We've never seen this before. Young men are coming to church, and the reason why they're coming to church is because they're not finding the answers
[00:41:29] that they're looking for in postmodern culture. They're not finding it. What are they looking for?
[00:41:37] This is a phenomenon that is being studied by all sorts of secular sociologists.
[00:41:44] All sorts of people are asking this question.
[00:41:46] Why are the young men now coming to church?
[00:41:51] And they're looking for things like transcendence.
[00:41:56] They don't want the kind of emotional worship of yesteryear.
[00:42:03] They want transcendent worship, kind of like what we've just been doing.
[00:42:07] they want to take part in tradition they don't want something new they want something historic that's why so many unfortunately are streaming into roman catholicism and eastern orthodoxy because they think in those traditions they're going to find the answers that they're
[00:42:33] looking for. In reality, where they will find the answers is in biblical Christianity.
[00:42:44] Biblical Christianity. It's fascinating. One of the things that young men are telling us is that they are looking for a means to find discipline. You hear that word over and over again. I want a way to structure my life. I want to be able to learn how to think. I want to be
[00:43:07] able to discipline my life the right way. Young men are searching for this like never before.
[00:43:13] Now, it's fascinating. What does Paul say to the young men in verse 6 of Titus 2? He says, likewise, urge the younger men to be self-controlled. That's it. He's said all these things. If you look back up to the rest of the chapter, the verses that have come before it,
[00:43:42] he says, older men are to be sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith and love, steadfastness, verse 2. Older women, verse 3, likewise, are to be reverent, not slanders or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good. He says they're to train the young women to
[00:43:59] love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, submissive to their own husband, so on and so forth. He says all these things to these different groups, and all he says to the young men is urge them to be self-controlled. It's an imperative.
[00:44:26] Notice that word urge. Urge. The Greek word is perikaleo. It means to come alongside and to call.
[00:44:35] It's an urgent admonition. Paul uses the same word in Romans 12.1 when he says, I appeal to you, brothers, therefore by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice. That appeal, it's an urgent call. I call you to live a life that is a
[00:44:58] holy and pleasing sacrifice to God. Ephesians 4.1, Paul says, I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you've been called.
[00:45:12] 1 Corinthians 4.16, Paul says, I urge you to be imitators of me. Do young men sometimes need an urgent admonition, an encouragement, a call to arms? Answer, yes, we do. I remember when I was in sixth grade, I went to a school in our community. It was actually at our church
[00:45:45] called Schofield Christian School. Had a very godly teacher. Her name was Mrs. Patterson.
[00:45:53] And unfortunately, the sixth grade boys and I did some pretty silly things in sixth grade. Imagine and that. And we would all excuse ourselves from the class at the same time to go to the bathroom.
[00:46:08] I know this is going to sound absolutely ridiculous, but this is sixth grade boys.
[00:46:13] We'd go to the bathroom, we would turn off the lights, and we would fight each other.
[00:46:18] And we would just, it would be pitch black in the bathroom, and we'd just start throwing haymakers.
[00:46:25] And so people were getting, it was like a fight club in the dark. And so people would get bloody stuff would be broken, and we would come back to the class. And obviously, my teacher, she had boys.
[00:46:41] She wasn't oblivious to what was going on. And so this was going on, and we were just having a good old time until she called my dad. And I'll never forget Preston. I remember this so vividly. I
[00:46:57] remember, you know when you're confronted with something, and it's like your heart jumps into your throat. And I remember sitting down on my bed in Dallas, and my father pressed in confronting me about this. And he said, it's time for you to put aside childish things and for you to step
[00:47:21] into being a man, to think like a man, to begin acting like a man. And I remember that made, It was like God used that moment, and this is the power of fathers to speak into the
[00:47:39] lives of their children.
[00:47:40] God used that moment as a line in the sand for me.
[00:47:44] And the next week, I was hanging out with the same guys, but I wasn't doing the same things.
[00:47:50] In my mind, I'm thinking, I need to be what Paul says here, self-controlled.
[00:47:57] I cannot do that any longer.
[00:47:59] I'm not going to do those things.
[00:48:03] anymore. It was a defining moment in my life. So never underestimate the value of those types of conversations, parents, and the impact that they can make. And obviously, they must be done in love, they must be done in truth, but they make a great difference. Now, let's look at this word
[00:48:25] self-controlled. I want to ask three questions this morning. And these are the questions that I'm asking. These are the questions that I was asking this week as I looked at this.
[00:48:41] First, what does it mean to be self-controlled? Second, why is this the only thing Paul says to young men? You have all these other qualities that the others are instructed to be. Why is this the
[00:48:59] only quality that is given to young men? And then the third question, what is the secret to self-control. So, what is self-control? Now, as I was looking at this, there's two Greek words that have a slightly different meaning that are translated often in your Bible to be the same
[00:49:30] thing, self-control. The first one, Sophronio, it means a self-control of the mind. It means that you control what you're thinking about. And if you start to think about something that you shouldn't, there's a correction that takes place in the mind. Paul wasn't the first to talk about this. Plato
[00:49:57] made a great deal about this. So Plato used this word to talk about how the upstanding citizen needed to control their mind. Now, I think Paul takes this word and he understands this word to be the ground floor of sanctification, the basic of what it means to be a Christian. A
[00:50:25] Christian is someone who begins to control what they're thinking about. The reason why I say that is because he mentions it three times. If you look up in verse 2, he talks about the older men
[00:50:36] being self-controlled. He talks about training the young women, verse 5, to be self-controlled.
[00:50:43] And now he's talking to the young men about being self-controlled. By the way, if you look over in chapter 1, verse 8, he tells the elders, an elder must be a man who is self-controlled. If you look
[00:50:55] at Titus 2, verse 13, he says the grace of God trains us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age. What Paul is saying is, is that the baseline marker of a Christian is that you begin to control what you
[00:51:23] are thinking about. That's what he is saying. He says in Romans 12.3, I say to everyone among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sophronio,
[00:51:51] self-control it's translated in the ESV sober judgment but this is the same word each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned Peter uses this same word in first Peter 4 7 the end of all things is at hand therefore be self-controlled
[00:52:15] self-controlled in your thinking and sober-minded for the sake of your prayers he says in light of the fact that Jesus is coming back. Jesus is coming back. He says, in light of that reality, be self-controlled in your thinking. I know my kids joke because I say this so many times,
[00:52:33] the Christian life is first waged in the mind, what you think about. It really is.
[00:52:40] The mind is the conduit to the heart. So what you think about affects what you love, and what you love dictates what you do. So the beginning of what you do begins in what you're
[00:52:57] thinking. For that reason, Paul says, finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is anything excellent, if there's anything worthy of praise, think about these things. He says in
[00:53:16] 2 Corinthians 10, 5, we destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God. And listen, take every thought captive to obey Christ. Don't you love that? I take every thought captive, everything that enters my mind, I take it captive in order that I might obey Christ.
[00:53:39] When you get up in the morning, you immediately start thinking about things, don't you?
[00:53:44] you immediately start thinking about problems that you might have you immediately start thinking about things that you desire to do things that you want issues number of things are going through your head and what Paul says is I take every thought captive some ideas what do you need to
[00:54:02] do with them you need to put them in the mental garbage can go away I'm throwing you away how do you do that? It's kind of like a glass. How do you get rid of air in a glass? You fill it with water.
[00:54:22] You get rid of what you're not supposed to be thinking about by Philippians 4.8. Think about whatever's true, noble, just, pure, love. You begin to meditate on what Christ has told us to think about, namely himself. Question, can the unbeliever do this? Sophronio, to exercise
[00:54:50] self-control in the mind. Listen to what the Bible says about the unbelieving mind. This is the mind of the unbeliever, the non-Christian. Paul says in 1 Timothy 6.5 that the unbelieving mind is depraved. He says in 2 Corinthians 3.14 that minds of unbelievers are hardened. Hardened to
[00:55:17] what? Hardened to gospel truth. He says in Ephesians 4.18 that men are darkened in their understanding. If you're experiencing darkness, that means you don't understand something. You don't have the light to understand it. Paul says in Romans 1.21, people became futile in their
[00:55:37] thinking and in their foolish hearts that they were darkened, and he says, because we suppress the truth in unrighteousness. In 2 Corinthians 4.4, he says, Satan has blinded the minds of unbelievers to keep them from coming to a knowledge of the truth. So the unbelieving mind, here's the
[00:56:01] point I'm making. The unbelieving mind has no ability whatsoever to exercise this type of self-control. No ability whatsoever, because we're talking about setting our minds on the things of God. That's what we're talking about, that type of self-control. Now, I mentioned that there is
[00:56:23] another word that's translated as self-control. It's in kratia or in cryomai, and it speaks to a self-control of the affections. So the first one speaks to a self-control on what you're thinking about. The second word speaks to a self-control of what you love, what you go after.
[00:56:55] And Aristotle said that these two together form the core of all ethics. In many ways, you see this though in a spiritual heightened way in the new testament that we are also to have not
[00:57:11] just self-control in our thinking but self-control in the affections so for example paul says the fruit of the spirit is love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self-control. He's talking about the self-control of the affections. It's the ability, and you know
[00:57:48] what I'm talking about. It's when you're tempted with something and your sinful flesh wants to do that thing. Does anybody know what I'm talking about? Has anybody experienced this? Paul describes it in Romans 7 18 he says I know that nothing good dwells in me that is my flesh your sinful flesh
[00:58:14] for I have the desire to do what is right but not the ability to carry it out by the way I think he's talking about his unconverted self here he says I do not do the good I want but the evil I
[00:58:27] do not want is what I keep on doing in karate this type of self-control the self-control of affections is the capacity to win that battle. Isn't that amazing? It's the capacity to tell yourself, no, I am going to be obedient to Christ. I am going to obey the law. That's the type of
[00:58:59] self-control he's talking about. And by the way, isn't that what we want for the young men? I mean, think about how countercultural this is, that young men would have this type of self-control.
[00:59:15] And that leads to the second question. Why is this self-control the only virtue that is mentioned?
[00:59:23] And I think the answer, if you look at young men, it's fairly obvious. It's because young men have the propensity to be the exact opposite. Young men by nature are brash, lustful, impulsive, prideful. They tend to make decisions on the fly. They follow the lusts of their hearts.
[00:59:49] And so self-control, this virtue, is the exact opposite of what young men are in their flesh.
[00:59:58] so it is at this very point this point that young men tend to be weak that christianity can make them strong proverbs solomon says this is proverbs 25 28 a man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls so remarkable picture a man without
[01:00:33] self-control is like a city that's broken into in a city without walls in the ancient world remember the city of jericho what protected the city of jericho the walls they're they're big walls that protects the city so in the ancient world every city you would build walls around it and
[01:00:53] then the business the main place people would gather was the gate the gate of the city you remember Samson went to one of the Philistine cities and put the gate on his back and carried
[01:01:06] it away. I mean, it was remarkable. The walls protect the city. And Solomon says, if you lack self-control, you're a city without walls. What does that mean? Everything that you build in that city will be attacked and come to ruin. That's the danger, young men. If you do not develop
[01:01:30] self-control. Do you want to build in your life? Absolutely. I want to go build. I want to go do things. I want to create things. If you lack self-control, whatever you build will amount to
[01:01:43] ruins. Shaquille O'Neal, y'all know that guy? Shaq attack? Hard not to love, right? I saw an interview with Shaq, and he was talking about how he had all this success, all this great things going for him. He had a wonderful family, beautiful wife, and built a 72,000 square foot house. I mean,
[01:02:14] that's just silly, right? 72,000 square foot house. Well, he committed adultery. She left him, left him with the kids, and he said, I woke up one day alone in a 72,000 square foot house.
[01:02:31] everything if you if you lack self-control it's torn down David with Bathsheba things are going great things are going swimmingly he's leading according to God's law God's truth one afternoon on a rooftop he fails to exercise self-control and you can trace the decline of David's kingdom
[01:03:01] where he finds himself fleeing from the city, and Absalom taking control, you can trace all of it back to that failure to exercise self-control. So young men, the danger is if you fail to do this,
[01:03:20] this one thing, whatever you accomplish in life will come to ruin. I have books on my shelves from great preachers who had wonderful ministries, and then they failed to exercise self-control.
[01:03:40] And I look at those books as a cautionary tale of what happens and what can happen with one bad decision. There's a young man in the Bible, remarkable young man, named Joseph. You remember Joseph, multicolored coat. Brothers are envious. Throw him in a pit. He's sold to a man named
[01:04:11] Potiphar in Egypt as a slave. He honors God, stewarding everything that Potiphar owns, and this is what godly men do. They rise. He exercises wisdom. He rises in Potiphar's house.
[01:04:29] He's put over everything. And one day, while Potiphar is gone, his wife approaches him.
[01:04:39] She says, sleep with me. And he says no, and she keeps doing this. She keeps doing this over and over again. And it's remarkable because Joseph is probably 18, 19, 20 years old.
[01:04:54] And here, a wealthy woman, probably a beautiful woman, is throwing herself at him.
[01:05:01] what would most young men do in that situation what what what do most young men do with that type of temptation you cave you give in what does Joseph do he flees he runs away you know what is
[01:05:26] his explanation for this is he says this is a quote from Joseph how can I do this great wickedness and sin against God? You see, he was fighting that battle in the mind. How can I commit this sin
[01:05:53] and sin against Almighty God? Absolutely remarkable. So, young men, if you can do this, you will be like Joseph. You will be like Jesus. You will be the counterculture where pornography is rampant where there's so many distractions with social media where so many
[01:06:21] bad ideas are being thrown around in our culture if you are able to exercise self-control in the mind you will be the counterculture in a word you will be like Christ exercising self-control. Now finally, what is the secret to self-control? How do you do this? Now I gave you
[01:06:56] all some steps two weeks ago about how to begin to cultivate self-control in your life. And if you think back, one, we talked about praying, seeking the power of God to master your sin and to do
[01:07:14] what's right. I know of no one that can exercise self-control without prayer. We talked about living a life according to the Word. Psalm 119 says, how can a young man keep his way pure?
[01:07:27] Answer, by living according to your Word. The Word of God is a light to your feet, a lamp unto your path. There is no self-controlled life outside of the Word of God, correct?
[01:07:42] We talked about putting off the deeds of the flesh.
[01:07:45] Romans 8, 13, Paul says, put to death the deeds of the flesh and you will live.
[01:07:50] You have to put to death the deeds of the flesh and you have to put on Christ.
[01:07:54] Just like we talked about that glass of water.
[01:07:56] It's not just saying, I won't do this.
[01:07:58] It's saying, I will do this.
[01:08:00] I will love my neighbor as myself.
[01:08:02] I will love my enemy.
[01:08:04] I will pursue purity.
[01:08:05] I will think God's thoughts after him.
[01:08:08] I will read my Bible.
[01:08:09] It's putting on the virtues of Christ It's walking with friends in the church This is the importance of our fellowship It's walking in accountability with one another You know, it's amazing how your capacity to exercise self-control in a certain area
[01:08:29] Is expanded when you share that challenge with someone else And they begin to hold you accountable So these are all steps that we've talked about but what's the secret to self-control let me give you two things first and this is do not pass go
[01:08:51] and I've completely given this one away already in this message you must be born again you must be born again exercising self-control is a gospel imperative what I mean by that is is if you try to
[01:09:11] do this without first coming to Christ, repenting of your sin, surrendering your life to him, you will never be able to exercise self-control, ever. You don't exercise self-control to come to Christ. You come to Christ, and he enables you to exercise self-control. And we can't get that
[01:09:38] backwards. So many forms of Christianity get this wrong. They just said a Christian is someone who exercises self-control, therefore you exercise self-control if you want to be a Christian.
[01:09:51] Wrong. First, you have to confess your sin. You have to repent. Have we all failed to exercise self-control? All of us have. We are all sinners before a holy God. No one is born exercising
[01:10:13] self-control. We're born as people that exercise our selfish ambition. We naturally pursue our own flesh. There has to be a moment where you come to the cross of Christ and you ask for the forgiveness
[01:10:32] of sins. Jesus, I have failed to exercise self-control, but you did, and you died on my behalf. And until that happens, if you just, in your own power, in your own strength, you say, I can manage my problems. I can put more good on the balance sheet than the bad. If you live there,
[01:11:00] you will never win I promise you you can do behavioral modification you can do those things but you will not have self-control worked in the heart David prayed have mercy on me oh God according to your steadfast love according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions
[01:11:20] wash me thoroughly from my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin we need that and by the way in the Christian life, this is a constant. We all fail in many ways. So we're coming back, we're
[01:11:35] confessing our sin, we're asking for gospel strength to be self-controlled. Self-control is worked, as we said, by the Holy Spirit. The fruit of the Spirit is self-control, and He works that in our lives to a greater degree. So I say first, this is the secret to self-control because
[01:12:00] it is the non-negotiable. Do not pass go unless you are born again, that you've come to Christ and you've trusted him as your Lord and Savior. And then he transforms your life. He gives you
[01:12:15] the gift of the Holy Spirit, and now the Holy Spirit begins to work this virtue in your heart, in your life where you begin to become self-controlled. Second secret, I want you to turn over to 1 Corinthians 9, the passage that you read earlier. And I was so helped by this,
[01:12:45] especially in my early 20s, reading John Piper's book, Desiring God. Maybe you've heard of that book. Here's the secret. This is how the Holy Spirit helps you be self-controlled. You fight for self-control with greater joy. Look at verse 24. Do you not know that in a race all the runners
[01:13:26] run, but only one receives the prize. So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. That's the, in Kratia, that's the self-control of the affections he's talking about. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable
[01:13:56] wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly. I do not box as one beating the air, but I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others, I myself should be disqualified. So Paul, writing to the Corinthians, takes this picture. It's an
[01:14:24] amazing picture it's a picture that they would know well because Corinth is right next to this little isthmus it's about a mile between the Aegean and the rest of the Mediterranean and boats rather than going all the way around Greece all of that treacherous shoreline instead of doing
[01:14:44] all that they would literally come to this isthmus at Kinkria and they would put logs on the ground and they would roll the ships that one mile from the Aegean to the Mediterranean. So it's this
[01:14:59] little bitty isthmus, and there they had these what we would call Olympic Games. They were called the Isthmian Games, and they had racing, and they had boxing, and all sorts of events like that.
[01:15:14] now in order to compete in the ismian games you had to renounce all sexual activity you had to renounce alcohol you had to live according to a strict food diet and you had to train for at least
[01:15:33] 10 months and in order to compete you would have to take a vow that you did this and so paul's everybody knows this in Corinth. Everybody knows this. They're all part of these Isthmian games.
[01:15:48] This is part of their culture. And so Paul says, look at those athletes. And the word he uses for athlete is agonizomai, where we get our word agony. An athlete is somebody who agonizes in the games. He says, look at those athletes. Look at what they do. They exercise self-control
[01:16:12] in order to obtain a prize. And then he says, what is the prize? It's a perishable wreath.
[01:16:24] Literally, they would take an olive branch or they would take a pine branch, something like that, and they would either put a head wreath there around the winner's head, a crown. He says, they do it for something like that that is perishable but we as believers we exercise
[01:16:49] self-control in order to win an imperishable reward an imperishable crown now when Paul's talking about the context of first Corinthians if you read the rest of the book chapters five and 6, he is dealing with sexual sin. He's dealing with sexual sin. He says in 1 Corinthians 6, 19,
[01:17:19] he says, do you not know that those who practice, key word, sexual immorality will not inherit the kingdom of God? And he goes on and lists other sins, and then he says, but such were some of you.
[01:17:37] You were washed. You were transformed. So he's talking about, I think specifically, sexual immorality. And if you practice sexual immorality, Paul says you will not inherit the kingdom of God. So when he talks about being disqualified, I think this is serious. He's
[01:17:55] saying I'm exercising self-control that I might run the race, that I might finish the race.
[01:18:02] and 2 Timothy 4. What's the race? I have fought the good fight. I have finished the race. I have kept the faith. Finishing the race is keeping the faith. Like, not being disqualified means that I
[01:18:20] didn't renounce my faith along the way. Have y'all known those people? Yeah, I'm a Christian, baptized, and then 15 years later, there's a moral issue. They said, you know, I don't believe in God anymore. I don't believe that the scriptures are inerrant. I've seen it. Paul says
[01:18:39] the Christian life is lived running this race, exercising self-control. That word he uses for discipline, look at verse 27. He says, I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others i might be disqualified that word discipline means
[01:19:06] i give myself a black eye oh our marine instructors used to say to us this this was so nice they would say marine take a knee and punch yourself in the face uh is this fun i give myself
[01:19:26] a black eye in order that i might not be i mean is this stoicism that we're talking about well like, what's Paul saying? And if you miss this, you're not going to be able to exercise
[01:19:39] self-control. He says, I do all this for the reward. Well, what's the reward? That he might see Christ face to face. How do I know that? Philippians 3.8, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake, I've suffered the loss
[01:20:10] of all things and count them as rubbish in order that I may gain Christ. He says in Philippians 1 23, my desire is to depart and be with Christ for that is far better. So the reward is making it to
[01:20:28] the end, going to be with the Lord when he dies, that he's saved, and then he beholds Christ face to face and he says in order to get there I exercise self-control I discipline my body and
[01:20:46] you know what our problem is with this is we fail to see Christ is that valuable when we choose to sin you know what we're saying to God to Christ I find that sin more pleasurable than Christ
[01:21:08] that's what we're saying and so my fight listen I'm in this fight too I'm here my fight is to see Christ as infinitely more glorious and more valuable than anything in this world I mean
[01:21:26] you hear Paul's language I count everything else as rubbish as refuse as garbage compared to Christ my role as a pastor is to help you get there because unless you get there you're going to keep
[01:21:48] falling into the same old sins you're going to do the same sins whether they be gossip fear of man lust pornography whatever it is you're going to keep going back to the same sin like a dog returns to its vomit until you see christ as infinitely more glorious
[01:22:07] and the pleasure that that sin gives you it's true Paul fought against the sin by holding forth the reward now one more place I want you to see this I want you to turn over to the gospel of John
[01:22:28] to John 15 verse 10 Jesus is talking about abiding in him when you abide with Christ you have fellowship with him. That's a good thing. There's joy when you have fellowship with Christ.
[01:22:56] Look at verse 10. He says, if you keep my commandments. Ooh, that sounds restrictive.
[01:23:08] Notice what he says. You will then abide in my love. In other words, you'll have this fellowship with me. So he doesn't just say, keep my commandments. He says, if you keep my commandments, you will walk in this fellowship with me just as I've kept my father's commandments and abide in
[01:23:27] his love look at verse 11 these things I have spoken to you that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be full wow so when I sin I'm cutting off the fellowship and communion that I have with
[01:23:47] God, and then I'm not walking in the joy of my Father. And so therefore, in that moment when you're tempted to sin, if I remember and I'm thinking, I want that joy of communion, now I
[01:24:04] have the ammo to defeat that sin and to exercise self-control. If you keep my commandments, Jesus says, you will abide in my love. I discipline my body so that I will make it all the way and see
[01:24:23] Christ because he is better than everything else that you will encounter in this life.
[01:24:32] So young men, that's the secret to being self-controlled. You must be born again and then you must see Christ as infinitely more valuable than everything in this world. Let me close with a quote. So I read this probably when I was 20 years old in Desiring God, and it's Piper
[01:25:03] quoting Lewis. And have any of you been to Pasadena? I know Kenny has. Kenny and I love to go to Pasadena, to Vroman's Bookstore. Kenny, you probably didn't know this, but Piper picked up C.S. Lewis's Weight of Glory at Vroman's Bookstore. I say that to Kenny because Kenny loves Vroman's
[01:25:26] Bookstore. Piper picked up Weight of Glory and read this, what I'm about to read to you, at Vroman's.
[01:25:36] okay the new testament has lots to say about self-denial but not about self-denial as an end in itself we are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we may follow
[01:25:56] christ and nearly every description of what we shall ultimately find if we do so contains listen and appeal to desire. If there lurks in most modern minds the notion that to desire our own good and earnestly to hope for the enjoyment of it is a bad thing, I submit that this notion has
[01:26:19] crept in from Kant and the Stoics and is no part of the Christian faith. Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires
[01:26:40] not too strong but too weak.
[01:26:44] We are half-hearted creatures fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us.
[01:26:53] Like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea, we are far too easily placed. But Lewis is saying is that your desire for Christ to have that joy is what carries
[01:27:20] you through the challenging moments. So he's saying don't pretend like it's a bad thing.
[01:27:28] that's what you fight with that's what the Holy Spirit uses to galvanize your soul so that you will exercise self-control as you do it for the greater joy for the joy that was set before him
[01:27:42] Jesus endured the cross despising the shame praise be to God Lord we want to exercise self-control in all things, in our minds, and in our affections. Lord, may we see that fellowship with you, that knowing Christ, that being with Christ in the end is far more valuable than anything that
[01:28:13] sin offers in this world. Lord, may we set our minds on things above, not on earthly things.
[01:28:20] may we think about what is true, noble, so on and so forth. Lord, may none of us fall into serious, heinous sin, scandalous sin. May we exercise self-control for the joy of knowing and worshiping
[01:28:43] Christ. We pray all this in Christ's name. Amen. Now let's stand. Phil's going to come lead us in a closing hymn, but listen, if you have not trusted Christ in faith, today is the day of
[01:29:00] salvation. Don't put this off. If you're feeling so defeated and just so anemic in terms of the capacity to exercise self-control, you have to go back to the beginning. You have to begin with the gospel and then once there we go forward with our eyes on Christ and that enables us to live

[01:29:26] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_04]
[01:29:26] this life so let's praise him now you keep my commandments you will abide in my love just as

[01:33:46] [SPEAKER SPEAKER_01]
[01:33:46] I have kept my father's commandments and abide in his love these things I have spoken to you that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be full. Praise be to God.